It's pretty tight. It would be super duper awesome if you could update like sheeza .

 

I liked it. I am especially glad with the twins being assholes. So many ficcs have them as the only decent Weasleys, the ones who stick by Harry while he is carted off to Azkaban and Ron and the others ritually murder and deep fry Hedwig.

 

Did I mention how much I love you as an author? If I did let me reiterate that as an author you are a God among men. Saraswati - Goddess of knowledge and creativity her self would be proud of you for your creative genius. Sadly I couldn't find God of authors on Google, therefore I had to do with Saraswati.

As for the chapter itself;

You have managed to do in this story what I didn't think possible from any author. You have made me successfully hate the twins. I hate them to a point where I really want Harry pulling out the stuff that James wouldn't even try on Snape.

As for part with Rita you have outdone yourself and Rowling with level of nastiness Rita has. Keep reading whatever you are reading to write this kind of Rita. I do wonder if Harry will do anything to avenge this loss against Rita.

The Hat once again has epic pwnage. His line "No mercy for the weak or ignorant" was awesome. I knew there was a reason he became one of my favorites so quick. Right now The Sorting Hat in TLL and Tom Riddle in Andro's To Define Treachery are my favorite characters in HP fandom, barely ahead of Narcissa in TFTCD and Harry in nonjon's Black Comedy.

The cesure was quite... unexpected, but it worked rather well. It was also an example of your creative genius.

As for Fleur I hope you have the breakthrough in the Harry/Fleur relationship soon.

Update soon I want moar Jbern!!

Homer

 

Considering the twins are like two of my absolute favorite characters in Harry Potter next only to Sirius you have outdone yourself. The Gryffindors basicly screwing themselves up the ass was funny.

The Hat needs a Tommy Gun. No buts of any kind Jim. Give the hat a tommy gun.


X-Man, I saw your orignal post. Lil behind

 

I was wondering when Dranco would bring the tommy gun request up again.

I hope we don't have to wait months again for the next update.

 

Now that this story is "active" again, the wait will be measured in weeks vice months. Call it two weeks to get TML 4 out the door and I'll try to get Lie chapter 9 up before Xmas.

The hat can't have a tommy gun until it has the ability to shoot it first. If anything, the Hat will be asking for a golem body that it can control.

Now that has possibilities...

Jim

 

Some advice.

Don't have Harry go against the world without a rational explanation, as most Azkaban fics do.

I think you've already crossed the line one time.

For example, I don't think that Gryffindor House would really censure Harry just because he supposedly cheated in a tournament. After all, in GoF Gryffindor held a party because Harry cheated. Even when many Gryffindors were ambitious to be the Hogwarts champion themselves.

Nevertheless, apart from that, it's a great story.

Edit: Oh yeah. Best and most realistic introduction to HP/FD I've ever seen. Originality's always been your strong point.

 

Thanks for the comments. In my defense, GoF Harry didn't break Katie Bell's and Ginny Weasley's hearts, in the same day no less! Katie being one of the most popular girls in Gryffindor.

He also didn't achieve the Holy Grail of all non-Slytherins and got out of classes with Snape.

As for Angelina's jealousy (another of the rather popular femmes in the house), I'm sure hearing Wood boast about HJ's new found chaser skills and unbelievable moves has her green with envy.

Picture Angelina coming to visit Oliver at Puddlemere's practice a few days before the World Cup and hearing Oliver tell one of his teammates that the best Chaser in Gryffindor is playing Seeker.

Now picture all these irate upper class types back in the common room for the intervening hours while the teachers are trying to figure out WTF. It wouldn't take but a few comments by someone who felt really slighted (Angie, Fred, George, Lynch, Hale) to get the ball rolling.

I'm sure Hermione would try to stop it, but do you picture the upper class types listening to an uppity 4th year who is just so damn irritating!

It's partly why I had the whole scene with Cedric so that HJ would see that the rest of the school sees him getting special treatment to help make the Censure more believable to the readers.

Jim

 

The vindictive bastard in me wants to see some hardcore punishment for the twins, as well as Harry actually writing that letter to sabotage Angelina's pro career rather than him just thinking about doing it. I mean really, the way I see it, he would be better off just settling all this in-house crap now before he really gets deep into the tournament.

 

You could try Saint John the Apostle, or Saint Paul the Apostle, or Saint Frances de Sale, or Saint Lucy, all of whom are the Patron Saints of Authors and Writers

 

What did I say. Give the Hat el tommy gun.

The golem body has definite possibilities.


I agree that Harry needs to deal with the twins and Angelina before getting to far into the year.

 

Beautiful Chapter, loved every moment of it. imo, this will most probably turn out to be your best work, yet.

I think the censure and the situation with the twins is logical. Just wish he gives them an idea as to how a real prank done, utter humiliation.

Above all, I’m surprised by the absence of Sirius in the plot. It would make sense for HJ to seek out Sirius. If you manage to write the Prongs & Padfoot friendship as it’s made out to be in canon, it would be a highflier.
Really looking forward to finding out how you pull off the Harry/Fleur relationship.

-MysterioX

 

Didn't think of that one, then again I was looking for Gods. Thanks though the next time an author impresses me this much I will have three more to choose from.

Homer

 

With the way HJ is increasingly using advanced, at least for a beginning 4th year and in the case of the age line beyond, magic Dumbledore is bound to become suspicious. If he isn't already that is. Harry has changed from who he was before and foolish minds looking at the worst case scenario might think he has suborned the Sorting Hat. Though I would love to hear the hat's response if someone dared make that suggestion to it's face. Considering Dumbledore and probably Snape have the occasional foray through Harry's mind HJ suddenly avoiding those occurrences would raise flags as well, though it doesn't happen often enough to cause any alrm yet.

HJ also set himself up for trouble in that he allowed Dobby to go with any questionable orders to Dumbledore. I can really see that coming back to bite him in the ass when Dumbledore allows Dobby to fulfill an order that HJ wouldn't have let him go near.

And if the fake Moody is exposed early Dumbledore will catch a lot of flack for having a deatheater disguised as an old friend on staff. Though it should take a whole heck of a lot of heat off of HJ about the tournament.

 

I love it.

The best things I can think of about this story are the characterizations of the Sorting Hat and Rita. Very, Very welll done.

 

I am eagerly awaiting a--hopefully not far off--scene in which all the revenge HJ has thought about doing is released. He seemed to take all the crap given to him rather modestly (not submissive, but something close to it). Release your anger, jbern. Feel the hate flowing through you!

One thing I didn't quite understand was the twin's reaction to HJ's missing of a date. Yes, I can see some past tension with the Ginny-in-the-closet incident, but HJ didn't break Katie's heart: he was a no show to a first date. These are fourteen and fifteen year olds, and I'm sure Katie is not emotionally investing heavily in a first date with a fourteen year old.

 

I'm of two minds about HJ's revenge. On the one hand, it would be cool to read about him getting back at Angelina etc. On the other hand, possibly ruining her career? It doesn't seem like the kind of thing either harry or a mature james would do.
Of course the seventeen year-old girl is going to overreact to a situation like the goblet not choosing her, but it feels like HJ would be overreacting in kind. Sabotaging her career would be unbelievably petty. It would show an HJ who is not nearly as mature as he seems to think himself in his mind.

 

Very nice story so far, Jim. Glad to see you've picked it up again.

I don't see HJ getting his revenge this way either--too easy, too petty, and, unless he confronts her with it, what's the point? When it makes the rounds that Harry has already been invited to the Spring Leagues, Angelina is going to look bad enough for having booted him. And her pro prospects won't be helped by a dismal season next year with a professional calibre player on the sidelines. (Harry, a man of his word, has already said he won't ever play for her--since Minnie won't be too happy losing her trophy, Angelina will see her captaincy pulled just to get Harry out onto the pitch in red and gold). Besides, HJ's got bigger things to worry over. Like kicking Vicky-punk's tail, seducing (then cruelly dumping) Fleur, tormenting Snape, and staying alive.

I would like to see something interesting happen with the Yule ball since I dislike the cliche "ball drama" motif in FF. Perhaps he'll take one (or two?) professional Quidditch players? Or escort a reformed "hair down" hellion Minerva? As an adult, I couldn't imagine myself caring a whit about something as trite as a formal school dance. If obliged to go, I'd aim for something with shock value just to entertain myself (and Hat).

 

Interesting comments, I'll keep them in mind. The first 7-8 tasks are pretty much set out in my mind and how HJ will do them. I only have a rough idea of the conclusion, so I'm working on the showstopper in the recesses of my mind. At some point, HJ will have to unleash hell on the twins. I'll see where I can work it in. Of course with JP's memories, he'll be aware of what can happen when pranks go to far.

We'll see.

Jim

 

I can only imagine the kind of shit Harry can pull out with James' memories.

Fucking Tease you are Jbern

Perspicacity's idea of taking a proffesional Quidditch player to the ball certainly has some potential. I can only imagine the expression of Angelina as she realizes that Harry already has been to the Spring Leagues, and she has doomed herself by fucking with Harry. The Ginny/Katie reactons should be equally horrified as they realize just how out classed they are when it comes to Harry.

I'm still holding out hope for moar Sirius in TLL. As Mysterio X said if the James and Sirius friendship is anything like canon described it then it has the potential for epic humor pwnage. It could probaly rival the Harry/Sirius friendship in Black Comedy if done correctly(which I have confidence you can pull off).

Avidly waiting for the next chapter
Homer