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Complete The Lie I've Lived by jbern - M

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by jbern, Feb 9, 2007.

  1. MonCappy

    MonCappy Fifth Year

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    This chapter was pure win. I will also state that I am surprised that Dumbledore was killed. I expected some price to be extracted from Harry, but I expected in the form of his primary wand arm.

    I really liked the epilogue. I thought the ruthlessness he showed in inspiring terror in the Greengrasses was fucking awesome. I am also eagerly anticipating the sequel and gruesome death of Snape.
     
  2. Ragon

    Ragon Dark Lord

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    The way Dumbledore died is about the only way that old fucker is realisticly going to to die except from old age.

    I loved the scene at the end. Aragog's bunch in the background and the Greengrass family watching.

    Jim, Ive seen Dumbledore die in FtCD and TLIL. I want to see Harry kill him in TML.
     
    Last edited: May 29, 2009
  3. Torak

    Torak Death Eater

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    Greengrass's and I concur
     
  4. reggin

    reggin Filthy Half-Breed DLP Supporter

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    I thought your story was really good. I liked how you did the characterization of Harry as well. The epilogue was what I like to see. Overall? A solid 4/5
     
  5. Alucard29

    Alucard29 Squib

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    Nice ending though I have trouble imagining how Fudge could wiggle his way out of recognizing that Voldemort is back. Dumbledore's fate was very anti-climatic it made me enjoy the story even more.

    A detail: Monaco is not a kingdom but a principality, meaning that the head of state is a prince not a king (don't ask me why though, it always seemed very stupid to me)
     
  6. Howdy

    Howdy Dark Lord

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    Dumbledore's and Lupin's deaths were surprisingly sudden, but obviously that was your intention.

    I appreciated that HJ didn't go to pieces over that fact, though having said that I'm not sure that HJ should be expected to keep his cool in the face of WTF!! while Lupin gets cut down due to the same sort of shock moment.

    Oh well. If Lupin had to die there probably wasn't a much better way to get it done.

    It's nice to see a Harry who's actually fighting a war. It always seemed completely absurd to me that the "good" wizards pulled their punches in canon simply because they were the good guys. People, and I'm talking about all people here, don't do that shit in a war. They fight a war.

    Then again, it's a children's story while this is not. Maybe that's the difference.

    Story is an easy 5/5, not because it doesn't have a few minor issues but because like BitJ (that looks funny) it entertains me more than almost any other story I've ever read in fanfiction.

    For people who rate it below a 5, I can only ask which stories are more entertaining than this one.

    Good stuff.
     
  7. Erotic Adventures of S

    Erotic Adventures of S Denarii Host

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    When Snape took Dumbledores body I was sure Voldemort was going to re-animate it and take it over, power and creep factor.
     
  8. Oneiros

    Oneiros Groundskeeper

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    IIRC everyone was fighting a war in canon except Harry. Didn't they all tell him to use more powerful spells to get rid of his opponents yet he stuck with that stupid disarming spell. I'm pretty sure they good wizards were throwing around AK's like it was nobodies business as well.

    As for the story, it is an easy 5/5 overall. I don't think I've ever read a story of this length that was anywhere near as good as this.
     
  9. sincostan

    sincostan High Inquisitor

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    Hay does this mean that Voldemort retains the same weakness towards physical contact with Harry?

    Easy 5. Tough to say which of your stories I like the best. They all have elements I really like as well as points I take issue with, but they are a joy to read.
     
  10. Silencebringer

    Silencebringer Muggle

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    Great ending to a great story. Although I would like to have Fleurs ass wiggling written in a little more detail.

    Are there going to be Hallows and Horcruxes in the sequel ?
     
  11. Hashasheen

    Hashasheen Half-Blood Prince

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    An Excellent ending to an excellent story. Between the realistic duels and Dumbledore's death, you've left plenty for the sequel, between Alastor Moody's challenge for leadership, the threat to the Greengrasses and other Death Eaters, the aftermath of Dumbledore's death, and a free Sirius ready to preform some Marauder magic.

    Also one of the few times I've ever seen someone incorporate the spiders into the story besides the "fight at the Last Battle" scenes. The whole autonomy to Lady Flamel's estate was a nice touch not usually seen, and indicates some future political wrangling with the French Ministry.

    I just have to ask, is this the last we'll see of Krum and Athena? I rather liked their portrayals in the fic, and I wonder if Krum would join the Death Eaters, or if Athena's grandfather will have a role to play as an ally, what with his anti-giant position.
     
  12. XxEnvyxX

    XxEnvyxX Groundskeeper

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    That was a worthy ending to this fic,
    it had surprising elements and held my attention till the very last line,
    which was a total win by the way.

    Much better conclusion and epilogue than the original.

    I first thought you wanted to make a joke with the epilogue,
    like some sick version of DH, but with this version I was really impressed.
     
  13. Skykes

    Skykes Minister of Magic DLP Supporter

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    Well done on the story Jbern, I enjoyed it a lot. I love how you include small, realistic things that many authors forget. Just going into more detail I guess. Also I am glad that you are not aiming for a wizarding war made of epic battles(2 sides charging at each other or similar bullshit).

    Hope to read the sequel soon.
     
  14. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

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    Not necessarily; sticking charms, at least, seem to outlive their caster. Look at Mrs. Black's portrait.
     
  15. KrzaQ

    KrzaQ Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Dumbledore's death was so anticlimatic... I really liked his character in this story and feel kind of sad that he died.

    On the other hand, HJ is still his own person and thank you very much for not turning him into an angsty emo bitch doing exactly what 'Dumbledore would'.

    This is my favorite of jbern's works, I can't wait for the sequel.
     
  16. Erotic Adventures of S

    Erotic Adventures of S Denarii Host

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    I will say this duel was far better than I was expecting, not quite your best but damn good. So far, as I have said before, I didnt like the action in this fic, but this was great.
     
  17. ZeroTheDestroyer

    ZeroTheDestroyer Auror

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    Personally I am much more interested in Turn Me Loose than the Sequel. The story itself seems complete on its own and although I wouldn't mind a sequel, I am not desperate for one either.

    At least Malfoy was squished to a pulp. Now that had me laughing, and the Sirius Black Sexual Favors fund. I am going to miss this story. Sigh.

    P.S. Is Dead Eye out in Ebook yet? I couldn't find it in Smashword.
     
  18. Chilli

    Chilli Seventh Year DLP Supporter

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    Awesome ending. I too, liked how anticlimactic Dumbledore's death was.

    It just occurred to me that the blood that Voldemort used at the ritual was from someone who'd been dead for a while. Shouldn't that affect the magic of the ritual in some way?
     
  19. scaryisntit

    scaryisntit Death Eater

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    Congratulations on finally finishing, Jbern.

    Lupin's reaction to seeing Priori Incantatum was stupid, but realistic. If that happened next to me, I'd be paying it attention. It works that Snape killed him.

    Dumbledore's death was, like everyone's already said, anticlimatic and unexpected. I'm not that fussed about seeing him gone, though, as this allows HJ to really spread his wings and fight the war his own way. I suppose Hermione might take over the role of being the person who tells Harry he's not fighting like a 'good' wizard should.

    5/5

    There were moments where this fic faltered, but it is one of the best out there. The originality in plot and tasks was very welcome. Can't wait till next year.
     
  20. Testament

    Testament Seventh Year

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    Truly, this is one of the greats of HP fanfiction. Been re-reading it over the past couple of days and now that it's finished, I find myself really looking forward to a sequel.

    Fanboy-ism aside, this was an epic final chapter. Dumbledore's death, while surprising, was needed imo. Pushing HJ into the leadership position will mean results, theres no doubt he will do things the 'Marauder way with a dark twist' as you put it.

    Couple that with the hired wands Sirius is looking for and you have yourself a nice realistic war; espionage, sabotage, guerilla warfare, terrorism and even open battles if you so wish.

    Anyways, good work, great story.
     
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