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Complete The Lie I've Lived by jbern - M

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by jbern, Feb 9, 2007.

  1. Warlocke

    Warlocke Fourth Champion

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    I laughed my ass off when I read that but I couldn't decide whether the double entendre was on purpose or not.

    ...I had a feeling it was. ;)

    HJ, disqualified for malicious teabagging.
     
  2. Aerin

    Aerin Seventh Year

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    Least it wasn't Turkey-Slapping.

    I could imagine the head-lines if HJ conjured a turkey and launched it at Fleur, hitting her in the face.

    "Harry Potter Turkey-Slaps Fleur Delacour!"
     
  3. rj_stone2

    rj_stone2 Seventh Year

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    They can already go with:
    "Harry's Transfigured Balls Too Much for Delacour"
    and
    "Diggory Can't Handle Harry's 'Little Friend'"

    You know, as long as they have a twelve year old on staff.
     
  4. Augurey

    Augurey Backtraced

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    Why do I have a feeling that the Cur's Mark is in the shape of a mushroom?

    "Malfoy Heir Permanently Mushroom-Stamped!"
     
  5. Garret P.I.

    Garret P.I. Backtraced

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    Hmmm, one thing that springs to mind, the actual stamping process.

    We're all assuming "branded" means with a branding iron.

    First off, it'd have to be a magical wound, otherwise I'm sure that magical medicine could just heal it afterwards.

    It would have to either be a tatoo or a magical wound... and who knows... it could bleed and stay fresh forever.

    Who knows what the cur's mark actually does. It might even have magical powers of its own.

    And that's assuming he gets the mark and not the whipping or the serfdom.

    Though to be honest, the branding iron DOES sort of go with the Goblet of Fire motif.
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2008
  6. Augurey

    Augurey Backtraced

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    Who's to say the Goblet itself isn't the branding instrument? The cur in question would simply stick his hand into the goblet. The Goblet's own magic applies the Mark. No spell or physical restraint directly prevents the Cur from removing his hand, but a partially-formed Cur's Mark contains a Killing Curse held in stasis by the Branding field. If someone is unworthy to even bear the Cur's Mark, they die instantly.
     
  7. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    Damn, that's hilariously low.

    God, I want that to happen so badly.
     
    Last edited: Mar 13, 2008
  8. Khazad-Dumb

    Khazad-Dumb Loves the Gay Porn DLP Supporter

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    But that raises the question: How is one worthy enough to receive the Cur's Mark but not receive death? Me I'm all for the :eek::whipped:
     
  9. Boo

    Boo Auror

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    I vote for Castration

    As punishment
    Involuntary castration also appears in the history of warfare, sometimes used by one side to torture or demoralize their enemies. It was also practiced to extinguish opposing male lineages and thus allow the victor to sexually possess the defeated group's women.


    Its the only way he will learn.
     
  10. pontfirebird73

    pontfirebird73 Third Year

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    I actually thought my wishes were going to be granted when HJ asked for a duel to the death.

    oh well
     
  11. Augurey

    Augurey Backtraced

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    Perhaps I could have phrased that better. I meant, "If someone is too cowardly to even bear living with a Cur's Mark, they'll pull their hand out of the Goblet without knowing about the Big Green Surprise."
     
  12. KlavoHunter

    KlavoHunter Second Year

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    You could have just said "Gom Jabbar" and we'd all nod and go "Ohhhhh." :p
     
  13. Rin

    Rin Oberstgruppenführer DLP Supporter

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    Surprise Buttsecks, AK style!
     
  14. Augurey

    Augurey Backtraced

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    I have no idea what you're talking about.

    @Rin: That's the general idea, yes.
     
  15. Narion

    Narion Slug Club Member

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    Thank whatever powers you believe in that this is the case. It's from Dune, a blight upon all science fiction, fantasy, and books in general.

    Narion
     
  16. Khazad-Dumb

    Khazad-Dumb Loves the Gay Porn DLP Supporter

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    Hey! Dune was good! And the Gom Jabbar is a needle carrying Cyanide. It was deadly....
     
  17. yak

    yak Moderator DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    From what I remember the first book was alright, though the fated hero/saviour protagonist can get annoying. But who cares about the books? The computer games based on it changed everything.

    Dune II was fucking awesome and the first RTS I'd ever played. I don't care what supposed crimes against literature Frank Herbert might be guilty of. Dune II grants him forgiveness for all of them. ;)

    Yak.
     
  18. Aerin

    Aerin Seventh Year

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    Total Annihilation was more ground-breaking *Smug*
     
  19. KlavoHunter

    KlavoHunter Second Year

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  20. hchan1

    hchan1 Sixth Year

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    /obligatory post about how Starcraft > every other game in existence
     
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