Loved the chapter Jim, the Rita part was great and "who is Sarah Underhill?" is fucking brilliant.

I do want to point out something that's been bugging me since the last chapter - I think that you should try to be a little bit more imaginative with your spell incarnation.

Overall a 5/5 for the chapter.

 

Spell incarnation? What's that?

 

I think they meant "creation" or something to that effect. As in encouraging Jim to make up new spells and such to make it feel like we aren't just recycling the same old shit. No Protego's or stunners or whatnot... new, fresh spells.

Of course that's just a guess.

 

Wow, i have absolutely no idea why i wrote incarnation, must be lack of sleep.
I meant incantation as in Golem Mobilis and Dementia, those just sound... well like very cliché fake Latin and this story deserves much better.

 

Golem Mobilis was a retread spell from Bungle in the Jungle. I didn't see the need to rework it for use in this story.

Dementia kind of falls along the lines of Obliviate, Legilimency,and Stupefy type spells. I was looking for simple mind altering magic that would make the target behave erratically and that fit the bill.

Hope that explains what I was thinking.~Jim

 

Hereditary punishments for a personal act against personal honor? I dislike Draco too, but I wouldn't expect his kids (who are responsible for their own behavior) to have to share the burden of his lack of honor. He might just have a "white sheep" as a son, and marking his son as a cheater when he might be straight as an arrow would be highly unsporting.

Perhaps because it's magical in nature? I mean the people that came up with the punishment had HUNDREDS of years to perfect them. I mean we really don't know what the "branding" process is. It could be with red hot irons and could be seared into the skin like I'm sure most of us are thinking. Then again, look at the back of your hand, plenty of veins really close to the surface, could kill him if those are burned through and spill his blood all over. It could be a tattoo, or something. It could also be magical in nature and simply rise to the surface or sink back into the skin, hell... it could act like the dark mark and inflict massive pain (the pain of being branded over and over) if you cover it up and only stop burning when you uncover it. (no gloves there)
As to the humiliation, again, we don't know yet. It could be completely non magical in nature and could simply rely on people's knowledge of it's meaning. Then again, with magic... who knows? Awww crud... that just gave me an idea. heh.

Anyway, as another poster said, Draco won't have to worry about people not knowing about the mark... because I'm sure that Rita will be offering up a 4 page filler detailing what the mark is, who all has borne it in the past, and their crimes that ended up in them having to bear it.

Everyone will know what it means fairly shortly.

I also concur that HJ handled the issue perfectly. Draco will read the article about him being nothing to HJ and will likely blow a gasket. That is precisely how he needed to handle the situation. Let Draco come storming up to him. HJ can now just tell him that he doesn't really care anymore about schoolyard crap. That he's got bigger and more important fish to fry. Take the adult path and it just makes Draco look smaller and stupider than normal.

I also very much enjoyed HJ's dealing with Fleur. Her sending Gabby with Ammie struck me as her sending a spy to scope out HJ covertly, to see if he really is being open and honest in his actions and manner as he seems to be.

Also his setting up Bill for failure was pure awesome. In fact, his "I don't want to talk about him" was particularly nice. It made it seem like instead of trying to bash or belittle Bill (which I'm sure she's seen puuuhlenty of men do in front of her to try and impress her) he appeared to be trying to be a gentleman about it and try to divorce himself from any derogatorial speech.

In fact, I'm almost hoping that she mentions HJ while on her date and that Bill gets wound up and starts going on about how awful Harry is. What a way to torpedo the date that would be, and what a contrast in character it would set up in her head.

Harry: Actively avoids speaking ill of others or bows out of the conversation if it's happening, is a good sport, understands what she lives with, treats her, her sister, and her friend with respect and without appearing to be trying to get in her pants like every other man.

Bill:Rails on about Harry, speaking ill of him, (maybe even mentioning helping to prank him while he's in the tourney), Is able to resist her, but still appears to have expectations, is a playboy (as passed on to her through Hermione)

All in all, I think it'll be interesting seeing how that date turns out. I'm anticipating either seeing A wild haired Fleur letting her Veela side show a little show up at HJ's table at some point, upset at a certain Weasley, or Bill come looking for Hermione with blood in his eyes if Fleur lets it slip where the info came from about his Casanova-esque ways. (As to why Fleur would be so angry... Bill is still a Weasley... so rowing is in his blood. She'd bring up Harry, He'd say something, She'd defend Harry, He'd say something worse dragging her into it, She'd reply, things would get said... Row starts.)

If it's the latter, things could get ugly fast. Bill'd be REAL suspicious about how that info just happened to find it's way to Fleur so fast, which could escalate things really quickly.

Now, as to Moody's replacement. Oh, that is going to be interesting. It'll be nice to see how this teacher is going to stack up. I'm hoping for a nice scene where he actually shows some appreciation for HJ's skill, and expects that Harry and Cedric are examples of what Hogwarts can produce... but then sees how the rest of the school is woefully inadaquate and lets them know it. I mean considering what he's seen so far, he's likely very impressed and is hopeful that he's going to walk into a class of motivated and advanced students. What he'll find will be a sad disappointment.


Finally, Snape.

Hoooo boy, Jim. The countdown clock has started. Things are going to get nasty real soon. Frankly I've always wondered why someone hasn't had Harry confront Snape directly in a fic and had him shove how petty Snape is being right in his face. Really grind it in by pointing out that all he's doing is blaming a teenager for the acts of a man that he's never even known. Maybe call Snape to the carpet in front of a bunch of adults while maintaining a mature air to his words. Having a 14 year old "out mature" him would be so galling as to be unbearable.

 

Nice chapter. The duel with Krum was creative, I like the fact that Harry has to struggle and think and doesn't just pull out some instant-win spell his enemy wouldn't know about.

Draco's mark is the sort of punishment that he's going to remember for the rest of his life, I think Harry will always have to look behind his shoulders now. Not that he didn't have to do this already, but now Draco will be even more desperate and reckless in trying to get revenge.

And of course I'm looking forward to other games very much (the Staff duels and the Puzzle Room). I can't wait to see what creative magic items they are going to come up with. I never imagined Harry enchanting items, but maybe he will surprise me

P.S. thanks for explaining Sarah Underhill because I really did not get it at all when I read the story. (If the author mentioned her before, I forgot ).

 

What if the curs mark caused pain equal to when it was first made every time a spell was cast? It would then be a bit more effective as a punishment, especially in a world with glamour charms.

 

I hope when Snape notices the Sarah Underhill Buttons he just freaks out and confronts Harry in public. Grabing him so Harry can claim it was an offer to duel. Or just say child abuse

 

Umm, i wasn't talking about the spells effects, they're fine (especially the golem) but Rather the unimaginative casting words you gave them. they just sound like... well, English , latinified English but still English. In my opinion some cool sounding gibberish or even better - some creative use of actual Latin words would be MUCH better than simply naming the spells effect and making it sound latinish by adding a random affix.

For example, instead of "Golem Mobilis" you could use something like "arcesso humus proeliator preliator" which stands for "summon earth warrior" in latin (you can use this site for some easy Latin translation http://www.freedict.com/onldict/lat.html).

 

...that's really lame.

Sentences of Latin suck as incantations. Firstly, since when are incantations an actually meaningful sentence? Practically never.

Secondly, what's the longest incantation we've seen in canon? Two words.

jbern's incantations are in general pretty good. Golem Moblis was perhaps a little too English, but Dementia was perfect in terms of being like canon spells: a single word - like canon spells - that is similar to an English word and so conveys the general meaning, but is slightly Latinised to make it feel more magical.

 

I get what you are saying but it doesn't make much sense to stand there and speak an incantation for 30 seconds when someone is trying to curse you right away.

 

It seems natural to me that more complex and advanced spells would require longer incantations. otherwise, what's the point in using lower-level spells?

And I'm sorry, but i just don't see how using the name of a wide-spread medical condition as a spell incantation is good writing... In my book it stands right along screaming "death!" for the killing curse and "mind control!" for Imperio.

 

Liath put it best in his fic:

 

Excellent chapter, Jim. Few errors and fewer moments of skimming. 5/5

 

Great chapter! I am particulary looking forward to the Weasley twin's answer (even if I have trouble understanding why they are so stubborn, I always thought they were some of the cleverest characters in cannon). The different duels were quite interesting. I hope we'll hear more from the sorting hat during the next chapter, I miss his "unique" language. I'm also glad to see Fleur is begining to open up to Harry, even if lt's because he spied on her and so knows how to talk to her (so manipulative... I love HJ!).
Thanks to everybody who explained "Sarah Underhill", I didn't catch it at all (thought it was some American culture reference I didn't know).
​

 

I've read so many other things in between updates that I totally forgot this was out of the very same fic! Egad, I need to read it start-to-finish again. So embarrassed, so sorry. But I suppose that reminded everyone else what the whole Sarah Underhill plot arc was about.

When HJ went all "South American Rope-Caster", I imagine that wasn't an accidental cross with Bungle or TML, but instead just something that James had learned a technique of, or at least heard of, in his time before he died?

 

That sounds like a spell that will fit well into our "List Of Worst Spells in Fanfiction".

As Palver (and Taliath) have stated, long incantations mean nothing, aside from being a disadvantage in a duel. Indeed, Avada Kedavra's greatest weakness is the large number of syllables in it's incantation, compared to most of the other spells, which a wizard could use to interrupt the caster.

Besides, when a wizard gets to Voldemort or Dumbledore's proficiency, the incantation means nothing as almost every single spell is cast non-verbally, or even, I believe, is simply a matter of guiding the magic with their plain will and intent.

 

Something to consider. Jbern has clearly said in Bungle and Turn Me Loose that the language of the incantation does not matter, though perhaps in not so many words. Assuming that the universe is sufficiently similar between the two works it stands to reason that even plain old English spells would get the job done. At least the spells are easy to read and understand which is more than I can say for some of the stuff in cannon.

 

Why couldn't you just link the first two letters of a spell incantation to the spell itself.

Wingardium Leviosa= Wi (Wee)
Avada Kedavra= Av (Arv)

Would be good for rapid deployment of magical destruction, but there would have to be limiters.

Half spell-strength, maybe? So if an Av hit you, it'd create an effect similair to Necrotising Fascitas (Or whatever)

Just ideas.

Because it begs the question as to how they linked incantations to manifestations of magical power.

How was "Wigardium Leviosa" linked to a spell which over-rules all forces of gravity and possibly kinetic energy/ velocity?

Even more curious, how is the amount of power which is needed for a spell measured?

Is it a percentage point? I doubt it, because if it was a percentage power, even 11 year old's could cast Patronus Spells. Is it similiar to "mana" in which each wizard has a numerical amount of magic and as they cast, it decreases unto zero and then slowly replenishes?

And I've wondered about possible Incantation--> Rune translation.

Similair in a way to alchemic array's, the drawing or energising of a drawn rune, perhaps carved into the wand.

So, carve the rune for say...Avada onto the wand and place your thumb over it then channel the magic through said rune.

Or even the drawing of a rune in mid-air. It would be handy if you could do it to a very small degree, barely a few millimetres in each direction, especially if duelling at range and they can't see what rune you draw.

Furthermore, wouldn't it be possible to progress from Runed Casting to Image Casting, the imaging of said rune in your mind and then casting? Quite effective if used when duelling a Legellimens, since most wouldn't understand.

And yes, I am aware that the swish and flick could be runic in nature, or anything.