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Complete The Lie I've Lived by jbern - M

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by jbern, Feb 9, 2007.

  1. Othalan

    Othalan Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    I noticed that too, though really, I've found this one to be more amusing than Butcher's novels. A lot closer to Jeff Lindsay's "Dexter" Series (also done in the First person), in terms of the amount of humor present, but not nearly so dark and depraved (Unfortunately... You just can't beat that wondrous combo of a funny sociopathic serial killer).

    I'll keep an eye out for your book, jbern. Sounds pretty good so far.
     
  2. Darius

    Darius 13/m/box

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    You can't really compare the two instances. When dementors were brought in in Canon they were to complete an execution and I would not say Dumbledore allowed them in. I doubt Fudge asked seeing as Dumbledore did not want Crouch kissed.

    This is pre-planned and they are being used against his students. He was absolutely furious when they came near the students in PoA.

    A Hard drinking Hagrid isn't so far off of Canon Hagrid but locking Harry in a barrier against dementors on the other hand...

    How killing Harry and Fleur would serve to promote Giants I don't know so I'll just have to wait and see if it ends up making any sense.

    EDIT: I have not noticed any similarities between Butcher and JBern.
     
  3. Voice of the Nephilim

    Voice of the Nephilim Death Eater DLP Supporter

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    I'm pretty sure it's not of Hagrid's own volition, Hagrid probably feels some sort of responsibility for Harry, bringing him into the wizarding world. No way he's putting Harry's soul at risk to further his own agenda, especially after what he dealt with when he went to Azkaban himself.
     
  4. Ragon

    Ragon Dark Lord

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    Comparing the two styles isnt that big of a stretch to me. Im sorry Jim but Butcher is better at it. However you are far better than most. It kinda draws you in.
     
  5. MrJoe

    MrJoe Guest

    A Dementor is no more dangerous than a Dragon, especially given the circumstances in which the task was laid out.

    What would have happened if the dragons were released from their cages in canon?

    They'd have either flown off, or, they'd have looked for food, I suppose, at the closest supply.

    It wasn't such an issue though, because the Dragons were chained down and Dragon handlers were making sure nothing went wrong.

    Same thing here, I suppose. There were a lot of people making sure nothing went wrong.

    However, had I been HJ, I definitely wouldn't have gone in there without a wand (using it is another matter entirely though).
     
  6. Erotic Adventures of S

    Erotic Adventures of S Denarii Host

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    I dont find the Dementor to OOC. They are under heavy guard and it is an international tournament.

    The thing that pisses me off is the pop up ward. Insta-wards are always a no-no when it comes to fanfic.

    Unless Someone rips it down in a few seconds it is to powerful.
     
  7. Dr. Strange Lulz

    Dr. Strange Lulz Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Is somebody going to fuck with every contest? I'd like to see one or two actually go off without a hitch. Because right here we have another situation in which the competition has been affected due some outside interference.
     
  8. Nukular Winter

    Nukular Winter The Chosen One DLP Supporter

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    Didn't Moody/Crouch fuck with every contest, in canon? Even if he was a LOT more subtle about it, Harry would have been eaten by the dragon in the first task without his help.
     
  9. Kardikek

    Kardikek Groundskeeper

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    The lie Harry doesn't need someone to cover for him. Plot-wise, I'd guess that if much more incidents happen before whatever climax at the end, the various school are going to drop out due to safety reasons.
     
  10. kmfrank

    kmfrank Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Magically binding mean anything to you people? Remember, the reason why Harry couldn't back out?

    Looks like they're stuck competing to me, despite rampant dangers. Kinda like fighting a cockatrice might be dangerous, but no one minded until everyone died.
     
  11. oephyx

    oephyx Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    English?

    ..........
     
  12. MysterioX

    MysterioX Professor

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    Jb that was a dirty trick you pulled. It disappoints faithful readers when a much anticipated update ends like that.

    I too support the idea of putting TML on hold. Compared to TML I’ll favor this any day.

    The Dementor scene and Dumbledore allowing them into school doesn’t seem much OOC. It is for the tournament after all and security is assured.
    However, Hagrid suddenly turning into a Giant rights advocate does not make much sense. I know there will be a good explanation for Hagrid’s behavior.

    Next chapter, I don’t think Harry will risk transforming and giving away one of his biggest advantages and I know Fleur being able to turn avian has been a much debated issue. It is all up to the author.
     
  13. Perspicacity

    Perspicacity Destroyer of Worlds ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Where's the fun in that? If you're not cheating, you're not trying hard enough....

    Aside from Krum's questionable tactics in the broom race, it was pretty much a clean competition.
     
  14. Garnth

    Garnth Squib

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    Great chapter. Definitely worth waiting (if only waiting wasn't such torture).

    If these cliffhangers would continue like this I don't want to see what that would do with some of us.

    For Hagrid situation I bet on some kind of "Mind Control".
    As for "Save from Dementors" either Fleur-Veela Transformation and/or Wandless Patronus. Don't see Animagus revelation as solution to help both HJ and Fleur and it is too early. At this time it would only make Fleur angry and better plot twist could be pulled with it.
     
  15. Dr. Strange Lulz

    Dr. Strange Lulz Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Moody did indeed fool around with every contest, but we didn't know about it until the end, the whole while we were wondering who could be the person behind it and why. This suspense adds to the story, we didn't know that Moody was going to mess with a contest before it happened.

    Here is another story entirely, the question isn't which contest is going to be messed with, it's which contest isn't going to be messed with.

    Agreed. Magically binding or not, if 2 of three schools decide that the competition itself is beyond saving, I'm quite sure there would be some method for them to back out and the contracts canceled. The alterations allowing an extra champion for each school seems more like a matter of courtesy in light of an extraordinary situation, why ruin our plans simply because of one unexpected thing happening. But let's actually examine the unexpected changes and interruptions in the tournament thus far.

    1.
    Cause: Harry Potter's name is drawn from the Goblet of Fire.
    Effect: General outcry. Each school is allowed an extra champion, as well as the alteration of each challenge to accommodate three extra competitors.

    2.
    Cause: Draco Malfoy sabotages Harry Potter's duel with Fleur Delacour.
    Effect: General outcry. Harry Potter as well as Hogwarts as the offended party opt for Malfoy to receive a brand as his punishment. Harry however still loses the duel, bullshit in itself.

    3.
    Cause: Hagrid... Hagrid (Does the big fucker have a last name?) sabotages the final two competitors in the surprise challenge, again Harry Potter and Fleur Delacour. In the process endangering the lives of all six champions well beyond the inherent dangers of the competition itself. All the while proclaiming the need for Giant's rights or some such nonsense.

    Possible Effects (Derived purely through logic and prior reactions): Chances are we're going to have some long and contrived scene where Harry deals with the fear produced by the Dementors, then summoning the courage and emotions necessary to produce a wandless patronus (that has no doubt changed from his previous one.) that will either repel the dementors long enough for the circle to be broken, or destroy them entirely. The latter of which I find highly unlikely as Jim isn't Kinsfire. Also, I said repel them for long enough, because if they too are trapped inside the circle, they don't have anywhere to flee to.

    From that point, Harry and the other champions are safe. Fudge and his goons arrest Hagrid, if he wasn't killed while Harry is dealing with the dementors (Pretty likely). Then we have the other Headmasters calling for the competition to be called off, Dumbledore sooths their fears. Karakoff glares and scowls like he does in every fic.

    Harry again loses the challenge, because according to the prior rules a member of Hogwarts screwed with the competition. If Hagrid's not dead, then we find he was under the Imperius curse.

    "Wasn' me 'Arry, I dun 'member a thing"

    Hat swears and calls Fleur a French tart.

    Oh but wait, a cliffhanger. Dun dun dun.

    End of chapter.

    Sure we expected Harry to become a champion, we'd be shocked if he wasn't.

    But somebody fucking with every challenge, it's just getting old.

    The interesting bit is how HJ deals with these new challenges, not how somebody screws them up at every turn.

    Really? You think? I dunno, Hagrid seems like such an eloquent fellow who's generally pretty forward about his fanatic devotion to Giant's rights.

    ^Garreth P.I.?
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2008
  16. MysterioX

    MysterioX Professor

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    Reubus Hagrid. That's his full name, I think, spelling not sure. Making 'Hagrid' the last name.
     
  17. XxEnvyxX

    XxEnvyxX Groundskeeper

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    Hagrid is his last name, his full name is Rubeus Hagrid.

    Well, even in canon was said that cheating is tradition and only Dunbledore tries to be fair *shrug*
    Cheating is part of the tournament if you ask me and it is just interesting how you do it and how good you are.


    It could be an imposter, imperius, some potion to alter his personality or to lower is control/commom sense...the Dementors could have a very bad influence on him. It would be very ooc for him to do something like that all by himself.
    In canon he wouldn´t even admit to be a Halfgigant at first (only to Madam Maxime).


    Please no wandless patronus! That is just too much...Fleur´s transformation could be an option...she fries everything in the circle with her fire because she loses control and Harry his (maybe badly) burned (would be dead without wandless/accidetial magic). She is sorry and we go from that to a bit more close contact (not too far yet, but a few civil conversations could be a start)


    The song from the hat was a piece of art and should be produced, maybe on youtube...briliant song^^
     
  18. Nukular Winter

    Nukular Winter The Chosen One DLP Supporter

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    The lyrics work pretty well set to the tune of "Gilligan's Island", FWIW.

    Now try getting that song out of your head. :)
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2008
  19. Dr. Strange Lulz

    Dr. Strange Lulz Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    Haha, I didn't actually expect it to be answered folks. Kind of a joke since his first name is so rarely mentioned.
     
  20. XxEnvyxX

    XxEnvyxX Groundskeeper

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    Fuck you, no I don´t get it out of my head...all your fault *grin*
    Could be far worse...One time I didn´t get the Dora Theme out of my head, what did I suffer for the happiness of my baby sister *sigh*


    I like all the new tasks jbern makes up and HJ is a brilliant character.

    I´ve watched "Dexter", the first season and his way of thinking is intriguing.
    The acter played in Sixth feet under, too, didn´t he? Dean...or something like that, the gay brother who wanted to do the job.
     
    Last edited: Jun 13, 2008
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