Hahaha.
Jim, I just listened to "Reality Bites". Mr. Merrill? And his brother Darius?

As for TLIL, I personally don't have any problems with Kwan and Collins as long as they don't appear in the story too often. They are BitJ/TML characters. Please, keep them that way.

 

Cathal is that the girl from the Waterboy in your sig?

I'm looking forward to the next chapter with the staff duels and the puzzle room.

 

I was wondering the same thing about his sig.

Nice chapter and interesting resolution to the crisis. I liked the way Harry dealt with getting a date the Yule Ball, though after the way he protected Manos from the dementors I was thinking he might end up going with her instead. Harry having a mob boss who owes him a favor for re-attatching his arm and saving his granddaughter's soul could definately come in handy sometime...

 

Yup, it's her.

 

Interview With Shezza.

We're trying to emulate ReadCon. But we couldn't land Jbern for the hour DX.

 

I read that. What I meant was the specifics of just how he was bewtiched. Imperious, Potions, what exactly? I kinda wanted to see more Hagrid in this what with the likely mental breakdown as he realizes just how much he's fucked up.

 

Wow...

Any respect I had for you is completely gone. You are a pathetic, sad excuse for a man.

Mr. Merrill, his brother Darius?

Please, that's beyond pathetic.

Although I will admit I was laughing extremely hard upon hearing 'Mr. Merrill' and 'Darius' but I'm afraid that little piece of humor may be lost on just about everyone else.

 

Great chapter,
loved the scene in the end with Fleur

 

Great chapter. The dementor fight was great. I'm glad JBern kept it simple and had Fawkes bring HJ his wand. For a second when I realized the Hat was trapped in with the Champions I thought HJ was going to pull out the Sword of Gryffindor. I liked that he stuck with transfiguration as well instead of the overused super patronus.

The finger-pointing was great as well. Nice to see Amelia Bones portrayed realisticly instead of the fanon stand-by of being the only cool-headed department head.

What really took the cake for me was Harry knocking "Frosty the snow bitch down a peg or two."

Pure win.

Edit: The unseen cameo by Kwan and Collins was great. Any chance of seeing an Omake from their POV?

 

I read few ongoing fanfictions which I rank fairly high.
TLIL is one which not only started great, but still improves.

Stupid laws and trademark ownerships, if this would be published I definitively buying it.

BTW Jbern when is your original work going to be published? If it is at least half as good as TLIL then I need to pre-order it (I hope it will be on Amazon).

 

Dino Riders... I used to love that show.

I mean have you seen the picture... Its Fuckin Dinosaurs with Lazers.

Chapter was good, I liked the way you dealt with the dementors, but it felt a bit short. The entire Chapter was a bit quick to be honest. You didn't have enough to make it really stand out.

Though Harry's, Fleur rejection was awesome. I was thinking it would have been a real dick move to ask her out after what she said to Ron.

Bro's before Ho's

Word!

 

I have to agree with Quazi. I was a little let down with this chapter. I still enjoyed it, but I felt it could've had more included. It was dry.

Asking Aimee was a good move. I lol'd.

Looking forward the the next chapter!

 

I can make the following (good/bad/whatever) argument against the last two comments: The chapter's told in 1st person, and if that person was rather tired after a taxing battle, the pace of the chapter could definitely be affected in response to that variable.

For me, pluses for everything--from the dementors' personification to Amelia's, from HHrR interaction to HFleur. I honestly never thought the dementors could actually 'fear' anyone at all (as when Harry trapped and threatened to chain them to a rock at the bottom of the ocean), rather I thought they would only avoid feeling 'pain' (as with Patronus).

Hypocritically, there was one thing that to me seemed a let-down--Fleur's quick escape into the cell to avoid the dementors. She sure didn't seem to second-guess her decision that much.

 

She could have had her soul sucked out by a dementor. While I think what she did is shitty, I do understand her rationale for cowering like a scared little bitch.

 

Well, I needed a couple of characters for that story. One was a big shot in his own mind and the other was a synchophant brother. Oddly enough those names came to mind. My next "loser" will probably be named Richard Vash.

Bio - Since the book will only be out initially in Trade Paperback format you'll be spending a good deal of time in front of the scanner. Each time you press scan and flip the page make certain you think about what a collosal piece of fail you are.

To answer comments from people with opinions I actually respect. I don't like unkillable minor creatures like the Dementors. Whenever, I use them, I limit them. Plus, logic dictates that the wizarding world must have some level of control over them and not just happy thoughts. Indirect Transfiguration, entombing them, shackling them, and burying them seem like useful threats.

If you need the details, Kwan is well known for his use of the Imperius Curse. He used Imperio to get ahold of Hagrid and then a potion to reinforce the hold over him.

Probably the hardest portion of the chapter was scripting what everyone was doing in the midst of all this. Fleur and Viktor worked together to save each other. She appeared ashamed when HJ looked at her, plus she couldn't stand the thought of sharing 1st place with HJ.

People seem to enjoy seeing Amelia Bones in a less than flattering light. It's amusing to make Fudge more capable of functioning on his own and you know a seasoned politician would be looking for a scapegoat after a public murder like that.

HJ not being able to summon a Patronus? He'd spent roughly 6-8 minutes under their influence before having to fight for his life. He was frustrated, angry, and frightened. Hard to go to that Happy Place in that case.

Finally, Dead Eye will be on Amazon (both the .com and the .com.uk sites) and Barnes and Nobles.com. If you can order from them you'll be able to get it.

 

Still doesn't explain this:

 

No it makes sense if you think about it for more than a second...

The boggart can't actually hurt you, it just looks like something that scares you. If you can't be hurt by something and you can't see it, are you going to be scared of it? I should hope not.

 

Sup. I'm all for laughing at my internet persona. But that story was just lame. I'd ask Tinn for tips on how to write. She can also make a lulzy dig without seeming overbearing.

Which seems to be a problem of yours. You're one of those authors who thinks he's clever by adding in what you believe to be either humorous or subtle digs at the world. Yet, you have none of the qualities that makes it effective. I'd try reading Pratchett.

I mean really. Albus Severus? Kwan? And a rather boring story on a podcast.

As for fail - I think of it as amusement and entertainment. And it comes when I outsource the job to Sree in India and have him do it. I know you're thinking about becoming rich like muah so you can feed the baby factory and the various kids that you've accidentally created (I assumed smaller condoms were cheaper; what do I know?).

But that's later on (when you fall asleep) and this is now. If I can antagonize you to the point of including me in your stories, I think I'll continue. Because I know it's getting to you.

And so when Sree's done, I'll pick it up and pick it apart in IRC and on these forums, if only to hear from Kokopelli (or whoever that douchebag is) again, about how I've crossed the line, and how I can be sued.

​

<3 Bernie.

 

*Post because I'm just a tag along and need to make my presence felt.*

 

That was a fun chapter to read! It was excellent to see Kwan and I hope that you'll find it in you to have him pop again... perhaps under Sirius's retainer. The zinger to Fleur was excellent and I'm totally looking forward to seeing what you've got planned for the puzzle room.


Unfortunately, the trade paperback format isn't a problem at all for the zealous pirate... there are scanners that automate the process these days :/