Hell yeah. Gunga Din'll get'er done.

 

Siriothrax....

Who is that lovely creature in your sig post? My inquiring mind wants to know.

As far as the latest chapter goes, I support it. Calling forth a Patronus would have seemed like a deus ex machina, as I remember in TFtCD, jbern had Harry able to produce a solid Patronus that was a fucking giant and was able to actually kill Dementors.

Indirect Transfiguration and chaining the beasts seems like a smart solution to keeping the fiends under control.

I have a feeling that Harry might call on Athena's grandfather for aid once a certain snakefaced bastard decides to rise again. Agrippa Manos is a businessman, and Dark Lords are bad for business.

Moving on, the HHrR interaction went well. The little touches, like Harry commenting on Hermione's teeth go a long way to fleshing out the Golden Trio and making them more than the magical eqivalent of the Scooby Gang investigating the yearly mystery at Hogwarts School.

Finally, the Fleur scene at the end threw me in a good way. The French witch is still a bitch, although Ron did come out of left field and ask Fleur to the Yule Ball. She could have let him down gently without cutting off his balls. So Harry zigged when he sould have zagged and hit old Fleur right in the cooch by marginalizing her and asking Aimee.

The shock that came out of that would have been from the fact that Harry bypassed Fleur. What kind of man would turn down a veela for a mere mortal like Aimee? It would be refreshing for Fleur that Harry could fuck with her like that on an even keel, but certainly it would anger her that he could, as even if she says she hates men falling all over her and women getting catty over her beauty, she probably secretly loves that attention. Harry, an element in the game she can respect regulating her to the sidelines would piss her off something fierce.

It looks like an interesting Yule Ball.

 

Vash is the even jerkier friend of every rich main jerk in any 80's teen movie..

 

I enjoyed the way Fleur ripped Ron to shreds when he asked her to the ball; it certainly fits with how Ron looked somewhat shell-shocked after asking her out in Goblet of Fire.

*Muches popcorn and watches the Bioplague/Vash/Jbern drama unfold*

 

Fixed that for ya.

 

*Popcorn sucks. Eating nachos and Twizzlers instead*
Indeed. You'd think a rich guy and a family man would get tired of each other, or do some other shit besides snip.

Vash's role as hanger-on, oddly, makes the most sense out of this whole thing: it is rather lulzy. I'd rather listen to this than hear dumb nigs try to predict what JBern's going to do in the next chapter.

 

Sweetest thing ever said. <3

Hwang Mi Hee.

 

Chris Brown - Forever

 

Like I said, I needed a throwaway set of characters using the character names of Merrill and Darius were an inside joke for the folks here. I figured everyone would get a kick out of it.

As for the story being lame, it was accepted by the site and so far has been well received on their forums. According to Duotrope, they reject at least 2 out of every 3 stories that come their way and that's just the people who take themselves seriously enough to use that site to track submissions. Let me know when any of your original stories are accepted anywhere. I'll be sure to check them out.

Tinn is a good writer from what I can recall. If I was just like Pratchett, you'd call me a copycat. I'll try to be like me.

I can't assume that Bio is a zealous pirate. (Hell, I thought this site had a policy about talking piracy and warez - I wouldn't want my favorite kick-me dog to get bounced from this board. Who would Vash and Darius pal around with?) I assume if he is stupid enough to do this that he'll do it half assed like he does everything else like starting a few fanfics, that interview with Shezza, and every other moronic endeavor he's undertaken.

 

What is Duotrope?

Sup. Wasn't it just months ago you said I'd probably receive an invite from AFC if I had stuck with The Minister? Rofl. Same thing with all douchebags (see ReadCon).

They vehemently insult me and try to run away but are eager to invite another of my alter-egoes into their shitty forums. If I can meet your shitty standards, I think I can get shuffled around if I tried.

And I don't consider using Abraxan who runs a shitty publishing company "being accepted". I call it she's a fat slob and wants to fuck you senseless. I'm just guessing though.

I don't think I'm a good writer, however. Like some people:

I don't translate terrible action-adventure stories/fanfics into "Hey. You know, I'll be able to make something worth reading for money." I write a chapter here or there and don't finish it and don't get too worked up about it. I just run around antagonizing people. Am I successful? Who cares. I'm entertained and so are others.

Are we going to be getting in touch with Kokopelli?

 

This is how I see the Bio/Jbern conflict (ooooh. Bio/Jbern. Slashy goodness.)

Bio is the rich guy next door, who pays the garden service to craft this masterpiece and sits on his patio sipping lemonade supervising. Jbern is the older next-door neighbor (Edit: with shorty shorts ) who doesn't appreciate Bio's wit.

 

You forgot the dress socks with bedroom slippers.

E-Peen stats:
Bio: 8 inches
JBern: 7.1 inches

Who will grown bigger? More to "come" soon...

 

Just curious...

jbern, what do you think of Shezza's Denarian series? I don't mean to post for another fic on this thread, but you did bring Shezza into this.

 

Sup. Did you just criticize my interview?

So lets see. Your interview on... wherever the fuck it was. Readcon? 0 replies. I'm guessing 10 hits, mostly from me surfing for "Ego+Dipshit" on Google?

And my interview, purposefully mocking the stupidity of interviewing an aging computer software engineer who writes HPFF and who made a few shitty fics that fit a cookie-cutter template that automatically equals attention, received more than 0 replies. It received more than 2 in fact.

So automatically, it wins. Or are you admitting you're worse than half-assed?

And more on the Duotrope front:

<Big_D> Duotrope's Digest is a free resource for writers that primarily offers an extensive, searchable database of current short fiction and poetry markets. We also offer a calendar of upcoming deadlines, submissions trackers (for registered users), and some nifty reports compiled from the data we've accumulated.
<Big_D> http://www.aboutus.org/DuoTrope.com
<Mr|F> wait
<Banner> * blink *
<Phoenix> LOL
<Big_D> I still don't know what it is.
<Oz> I think so
<Phoenix> Thanks... Big_D
<Big_D> In this video tell you all about duotrope.com. I teach you hwo to sign up for an account and how to login. I also show you how to search for subjects that you like. And then you can write and make money with your written work. It's a great site!
<Big_D> http://www.associatedcontent.com/video/15179/how_to_make_money_with_duotropecom.html
<Phoenix> Well now we know why Jbern was interested. Need some loot to feed Mrs. Rottencrotch.

 

Jbern, when you said you're going to answer questions from people's opinions you actually respect I really hope you weren't referring to the majority of the people in this thread. If all it takes for you to respect someones opinion is that they don't actually review or criticize your story and just slob on your mediocre e-peen. If that was my standard enembee would be my favorite person on the net.

I'm not exactly sure if you think you're clever or funny, well no, that's a lie. I know you think you are both, but the reason why every time this hilarious shit starts you end up with the shitty end of the stick is because you take yourself so god damn seriously. I'm sure in three days you will claim to have been doing it for the lulz and proclaim yourself 'winner' and have a smug little sig that everyone laughs at you for. Again.

I'm not sure how you can consider yourself witty when you fall back on

1) I'm a published author what have you done! Blah blah blah. The esteemed and no doubt reputable publishing company that you're working with aside (Abraxan LOL) this is not, contrary to popular belief, what every person who frequents the DLP forum aspires to be. No one else lists off their accomplishments in life as an argument so I don't see why you think it's a good one.

2) You're an immature troll. You're a loser. Etc Etc.

3) Insults, not just regular ones though. Retarded ones that you think are original but really just make you look like a retarded faggot.

Now I wait for an utterly hilarious reply. This is how the game is played. I expect you to repeat most of what I say (it's a lot of fun to do) but change it so it's about me and whatever pathetic non published authors are getting under your skin

 

This is the first thing that popped in my head when you said that.

 

F Grandad.

Word to your mother.

 

I actually didn't like the Kwan, Collins cameo all that much. I realize you're just throwing a bone to readers, but it seems rather pointless and lazy. In effect all it does is bolster the character for TML, unless you plan to include Kwan and Collins in this story in any depth, which would also be pretty lazy as it would rely on people being familiar with both your stories. Granted most people are, so it's not a problem, it just comes across to me as bad story-telling.

Good chapter, over all, the fight with the Dementors seemed a bit helter-skelter in the details, but since it's first person that can be explained away. Best bit was easily the Trio interaction.

 

I'ma take you there, baby, I'ma take you there.

We can go anywhere! ANYWHERE!

It's like I waited my whole life - FOR THIS ONE NIGHT!

 

I found the conclusion of last chapter's cliffhanger to be satisfying in nature. With all the crazy ideas that were floating around, you just took a well-established canon precedent and twisted it to your whims (Phoenix apparation in Hogwarts). It was nice to not see an "Patronus Maximus" or something equally as lame, that can kill a Dementor by staring hard it in a determined fashion.

I am curious at to your explanation of how Dementors aren't capable of receiving damage. One would think that someone will ultra-advanced Transfiguration skill (Dumbledore) might be able to squeeze a Dementor out of existence with proper transfiguration. Like a sheet of metal crushing in on all sides.

I am curious as to the danger level for the crowd. Normally, I would think Dumbledore would place higher values on the souls of students than random Durmstrang adults, perhaps taking Bones as a hostage was a way to overcome this? Here's to seeing Sirius hire Kwan and Collins.

Nice to see HJ sticking up for Ron in such a fashion, while simultaneously dealing Fleur a huge payback for being so dismissive and rude with Ron. Well done.

I look forward to the next chapter.