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Complete The Lie I've Lived by jbern - M

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by jbern, Feb 9, 2007.

  1. Grubdubdub

    Grubdubdub Supreme Mugwump

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    If you feel so inclined, open a thread named 'the lie JBern lived'. If not, then stop bother an author about his mental status on his story page. If you really want to annoy him in this thread, find every error the fic have.

    Jews - keeping the peace since 4000BC. Wait, that's not right...
     
  2. Darius

    Darius 13/m/box

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    Jews, doing terrorist attacks since 9/11 2001.

    Please, all errors pointed out would be ignored and retards like yourself would shout TRUST HIM TO MAKE ALL BETTER.
     
  3. oephyx

    oephyx Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    Good, another idiot.

    When the boggart turns into a banshee, it screams. When it turns into a dementor, it sucks the happiness out of people. Close your eyes all you want.

    Darius has a point...
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2008
  4. jbern

    jbern Alba Mater

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    I spent awhile coming up with a background for the hired killer going after Athena's granddad. After a couple of hours, I thought, "Hey, I've got a couple of developed characters already, why not use them?" Perhaps it is a bit lazy, but by definition fan fiction is somewhat lazy in the sense that I'm using someone else's characters and settings to start with.

    Therefore, I didn't lose any sleep over it. They might show up again if they decide that coming after Athena is a venue to getting to their real target.

    The last post reminded me that Darius promised a few months ago to really shred this fic. Needless to say, I'm still waiting. If Bio does everything half-assed, what's that make you quarter-assed?

    I write for entertainment. You're obviously not entertained, in that case you should move along. Unless trying to antagonize me is what entertains you. I won't have much time to play with you, Bio and Vash much longer - new baby on the way, stories to write, and things to do.

    Look no further than the fact you're in my thread trying to stir up some lulz.

    To answer an earlier question about Shezza, I really enjoyed Resistance of Azkaban, but I haven't read the Denarian series. I mentioned it in the context that Bio's interview was weak, boring and uninteresting.

    As for Voice's comments, Dumbledore didn't know exactly what was happening in the audience. He summoned Fawkes to help the champions and went to figure out what was happening in the middle of the audience.
     
  5. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

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    @Darius:Ha, I doubt that. But even if that did happen, it would be the place to discuss it, not here.

    Maybe I'm imagining it, but you thought it was annoying when Sree bitchmoaned about ASCAL. You had argued that you could appreciate certain parts of the story that (you felt) overshadowed some of the less appealing qualities that Sree and others were harking on. Lulzy intent or not, you have to admit that shit gets annoying after a while - personally, the Thunderbird/Big Bird pics are no longer entertaining. This thing with y'all and JBern is more of the same.

    Next thing you know, you'll be temporarily changing your names to "The Hat" and "Kwan".

    *goes back to watching the drama unfold*
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2008
  6. fuubar

    fuubar Headmaster

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    Yes but is that dementor going to suck your soul out? No. Is that banshee going to kill you with its scream or whatever its supposed to? No.

    Your point with the Dementor!Boggart is actually a bit of an anomaly in canon if you think about it. For example, when Lupin faced the boggart it turned into a moon. Did that moon make him turn into a werewolf? Obviously not. But it did represent what scared him more than anything else even if it isn't going to do jack shit to him. The way I see a boggart is that it is like when a cat goes defensive and puffs itself up nice and big so that it looks like its a big badass. The cat isn't actually all that scary but it changed itself so it looks like it is. Thats probably not the best comparison but thats how I look at it.
     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2008
  7. Darius

    Darius 13/m/box

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    Ah, the I'm too busy defense.

    I haven't shredded the fic but I have posted criticism, and it's always responded to not by you but by your retarded fans. I have no desire to talk to them about it.

    And I am entertained. I don't think you're a great author like the other fucks in this thread but you seem to have a lot of free time. Slim picking in the HPverse these days. Beggars can't be choosers.

    --

    On to TLiL - I don't like how you just invent items to serve your purpose. Ward wall I can go with, seems practical. The unlatcher on the other hand, what?

    I still say Dumbledore allowing them to Hogwarts in the first place is entirely OOC but that's done so nothing more can really be said on the matter.

    The dialog in this chapter seemed very stiff. People don't talk like that in real life. Especially Harry's 'pick up line'.

    This is the problem a lot of authors run in to. They always have the protagonist end every conversation with some dramatic line. That just doesn't happen. This was the same in the Harry / Fleur conversation outside of Dumbledores office.

    And the little supposed to be humorous quips in the story do nothing for me but kill the flow, that is more a stylistic problem point then anything as you do it in all your stories.
     
  8. oephyx

    oephyx Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    Nevermind, you're scared of cats...
     
  9. BioPlague

    BioPlague The Senate DLP Supporter

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    Darius, my little brother. You are so right!
     
  10. Darius

    Darius 13/m/box

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    You won't be saying this when a vampire kills you and gives me your settlement!
     
  11. BioPlague

    BioPlague The Senate DLP Supporter

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    [me slams fist impatiently]

    LITTLE BROTHER. I want my settlement!
     
  12. Darius

    Darius 13/m/box

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    That is the most pathetic attempt at hypnosis I have ever seen! Maybe for a weakminded fool it would be passable. Please, I'm a professional.
     
  13. BioPlague

    BioPlague The Senate DLP Supporter

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    I see it now. Jbern wants to be the Ed Wood of podcasts and writing. So terrible, he has a cult following of people who mock him.

    He'll outdo Dan Brown.
     
  14. Darius

    Darius 13/m/box

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    He is the Stained Future of podcasts.
     
  15. fuubar

    fuubar Headmaster

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    Ok, as stupid as that was I'm not gonna lie, I LOL'd majorly.
     
  16. BioPlague

    BioPlague The Senate DLP Supporter

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    I don't know. Stained Future has a smilie. Can Jbern compete?
     
  17. knothead

    knothead Groundskeeper

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    You should read Shezza's Denarian works. I believe that you and Shezza are two of the three best fanfic writers who regularly post here. (Nonjon is the third.)
     
  18. Cosmo4

    Cosmo4 Third Year

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    Internet trolls doing it for the 'lolz'. How boring.
     
  19. Paimon

    Paimon That fucking cat

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    * Paimon greases his pole.



    [​IMG]
     
  20. Immolo

    Immolo High Inquisitor

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    I admit I was wrong. You were right the boggart-dementor does give off an aura.

    POA pg 238-242
     
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