1. DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

    Competition topic: Magical New Year!

    Marathon goal? Crank out words!

    Check the marathon thread or competition thread for details.

    Dismiss Notice
  2. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice
  3. Introducing for your Perusing Pleasure

    New Thread Thursday
    +
    Shit Post Sunday

    READ ME
    Dismiss Notice

Complete The Lie I've Lived by jbern - M

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by jbern, Feb 9, 2007.

  1. Chengar Qordath

    Chengar Qordath The Final Pony ~ Prestige ~

    Joined:
    Apr 12, 2008
    Messages:
    2,011
    High Score:
    1,802
    However, IIRC it was significantly weaker than that of a true dementor.
     
  2. jbern

    jbern Alba Mater

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2006
    Messages:
    1,100
    Location:
    Virginia
    Okay Darius. Since your waiting to see what humorous counter I shall use, I'll use the history lesson. Here are your posts in this thread. I have summarized your awesomeness and the extremely valuable insight you have offered to this story. You say how I never answer you, so I took the liberty of pointing out when I did answer you.

    Post 45 and 48 – A bunch of early crits on the 1st chapter back when you thought Vash or Bio would actually post something. As this was when it was still a contest, I wasn't responding to anyone at this point.

    Post 50 - You criticize silencing spell and are answered by Nonjon.

    Post 55 – You reply to Nonjon.

    Post 695 – Complaints about variety of spells answered by me in 701. Does use the phrase other than that it was an enjoyable read.

    Post 702 – No real criticsm except to say that the bullshit to review ratio is high in these threads.

    Post 770 – Comments that it was a good chapter.

    Post 1031 – Complains about the quality of reviews in the thread, comments on Abraxan's sales and offers to keep track of my sales figures in signature. Rants about Dumbledore allowing the Dementors into the school and Hagrid as part of an overall theme that I explore different facets of personalities in different stories. I answer in post 1037.

    Post 1042 – You reply to 1037 continuing with the argument about Dumbledore allowing Dementors into the school which I answered to my satisfaction in 1037. Also, about Hagrid's actions, but I was unwilling to reveal salient plot points to answer your commentary.

    Post 1227 – You lose all respect for me. Naturally, I'm hurt. You web trolls have surprisingly thin skin. No comments about the story. I answer in post 1235.

    Post 1255 – Just stroking your e-peen and using the same old regurgitated insults that Bio and Vash have used over and over again.

    Post 1262 – Insults Jews (Careful Vash banned Garret PI for being offensive to Muslims. If Bio were to get banned for advocating Piracy and you get banned for being a non-pc kinda person where am I going to get my lulz from?) and says that any errors you point out will be ignored. Based on what I ask? Nevertheless, I reply in post 1264.

    Post 1267 – You are actually correct, you haven't shredded this fic. I must have confused it with either Bungle or Turn Me Loose based on the quick check of this thread, but you say I never respond to you and it's always my retarded fans answering you. This is of course proven false based on the above.

    To bolster you opinion, you offer some criticsm here including the same tired Dumbledore allowing Dementors into the school again (when obviously he can and has been overruled before and since in canon).

    You say I invent things like an Unlatcher. Okay genius, how does Filch open any door that's been locked via magic in the castle? I guess he goes and gets a person with magical ability every time doesn't he? People can be counted on to take the lazy way out. If magic exists, magic items exist to facilitate these things. Is it not beyond the realm of possibility for a device that opens multiple doors at the same time to exist? Would make a prison break that much easier than standing in front of each door and casting an unlocking charm.

    Beyond that you complain about stiff dialogue and that you don't like my humor. To answer that, the dialogue could be smoother, I promised readers a chapter by June 30th and I met that deadline by skipping 2 of the 3 betas and will be posting a slightly revised version. Maybe the dialogue will flow better, maybe not. Well, if my humor doesn't do it for you, that is too bad. I have no real intentions on changing for you.

    Posts beyond that are just you messing around with Bio. They don't even deserve mention.

    So, you've said I never answer you, but I've shown that I have. Even for being a Web Troll you are certainly no Hack - even he wouldn't be that much of a moron. (That's one of my humorous quips that you don't like.)

    In conclusion, I thank you for all the wonderous value you have made to this thread. You've been instrumental. I don't know how I could overlook your greatness and wise advice.

    This is why you need to stick to being a sidekick for a few more years.
     
  3. Poytin

    Poytin The Arby's Hipster DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2008
    Messages:
    1,070
    Location:
    Nevada
    Ok I will say this... you lost a lot of my respect by going and pointing out all those occasions...
     
  4. Iztiak

    Iztiak Prisoner DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2006
    Messages:
    2,941
    Uh, all he had to do was "search this thread" and then posts by "Darius".
    It would take seconds to find the posts, and then only slightly longer to summarize what Darius said.

    Not time consuming at all.
     
  5. Poytin

    Poytin The Arby's Hipster DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 19, 2008
    Messages:
    1,070
    Location:
    Nevada
    I wasn't commenting on the time it took just the fact that he felt he had to go point out all the occasions.
     
  6. jbern

    jbern Alba Mater

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2006
    Messages:
    1,100
    Location:
    Virginia
    I didn't have to, but it was so easy to do. Darius makes conflicting statements and it takes a few minutes to point them out and show him for the synchophant little troll that he is.

    So, if someone is spewing a bunch of BS in this thread and I call him on it, that somehow diminshes your respect for me.

    Okey-dokey.
     
  7. Bucks

    Bucks Headmaster DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Apr 10, 2008
    Messages:
    1,024
    That is a pathetic reason. Just wanted to point that out to you.

    I kind of have mixed feelings about this chapter. I liked it, but the dementor scene dragged on to me. Like you were trying to make it as long as possible by adding unnecessary bits.

    Might just be me though.
     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2008
  8. Solcry

    Solcry First Year

    Joined:
    May 20, 2006
    Messages:
    30
    Haha, absolutely loved the ending. Made me smile.

    And yeah, how exactly does him defending himself against criticism (although the word 'criticism' is giving them too much credit) make you lose respect for him? The easiest and most efficient way for Jbern to actually make his point was to go down the laundry list, and - as Iztiak pointed out - it really isn't the most time consuming thing in the world.
     
  9. Nukular Winter

    Nukular Winter The Chosen One DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 8, 2006
    Messages:
    2,216
    Location:
    Seattle
    WTF, I thought you were Jenkins (didn't he used to use that Ava?). Similar names are similar...

    You should ask a Mod to change your handle. (I don't think anyone's using "Vash" right now, that's a pretty good one).
     
  10. Dark Belra

    Dark Belra Minister of Magic

    Joined:
    Feb 14, 2008
    Messages:
    1,242
    Location:
    Dublin, Ireland
    Do you have chicken?
     
  11. Myst

    Myst Headmaster

    Joined:
    Feb 4, 2006
    Messages:
    1,188
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Glassboro, NJ
    Do you two ever shut the fuck up? Darius, jbern, take your spat to PMs. This thread is to discuss The Lie I've Lived, not the soap opera crap the both of you keep spewing out.

    Anyways, this chapter was quite interesting in many respects. The dementor scene seemed pretty hectic though I guess that comes from the first person.

    I'm glad you didn't reveal Prongs yet and kept that bit a secret from Fleur. The solution you had to this incident was pretty good. Using transfiguration to entomb and ensnare dementors? I have not seen that used yet though it probably has.

    The cameo by Kwan and Collins was a nice touch, though I hope they dont become prominent characters in this story. Their world is Bungle, not this one.

    Nice touch of Agrippa Manos. Interesting to see someone else get targeted in Hogwarts. I am looking forward to seeing what you did with his character as I doubt that's the last we see of him.

    The whole blame game was fun to read as all politicians are quick to point the finger in another direction.

    The Trio interaction and the Fleur scenes at the end are far by the best in this chapter. The dialog was engaging and sometimes witty. I cracked a few grins while reading it.

    All in all, this was a decent chapter but I felt it could've been longer and less confusing in the dementor scene.
     
  12. True Story

    True Story Third Year

    Joined:
    May 16, 2005
    Messages:
    96
    Location:
    Washington D.C.
    That would depend on the type of business he has. He could own a magical version of Black Water and get a shit load of money.
     
    Last edited: Jul 2, 2008
  13. Demons In The Night

    Demons In The Night Chief Warlock

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2008
    Messages:
    1,438
    Location:
    Florida
    Fuck all the haters. TLiL is better than 99.998% of HP fanfiction. I don't know the history behind the pathetic drama and e-pissing matches, but take that shit to pm or irc instead of cluttering up this thread.

    As for this chapter, it was really good, although perhaps not up to the usual standard, which of course might be because you skipped betaing to churn out the update on time. I liked the dementor scene as well as the interaction between the trio. At the end where Ron, and then Fleur, get burned, was fucking win.

    4.5/5
     
  14. Midknight

    Midknight Middy is SPAI! DLP Supporter Retired Staff

    Joined:
    Apr 11, 2005
    Messages:
    8,958
    Location:
    NC
    meh.. reading this reminds me I need to fix this thread as it's a giant clusterfuck. *glares at a certain someone*

    I cbf to do it atm, but dont be suprised if it gets fixed later.

    As for the lot of you, if you don't like him, stay the hell out of this thread, it's for a story, KEEP IT THAT WAY.
     
  15. Philly Homer

    Philly Homer What you call elephant cum I call mouthwash

    Joined:
    Aug 16, 2007
    Messages:
    587
    Location:
    Look at the name, it should be obvious.
    Damnit! Once again I'm late to the update party, not that I'm complaining, since I was fortunate enough to miss the latest e-peen war. Let's move on the actual review. A good chapter, even if it's a little fast paced, with a fantastic ending.

    The dementor scene was to be honest with you a cluster fuck, which is exactly how it should be. When you are getting attacked by Dementors, without a wand, there should be a hectic feeling, and that came across well. I don't know if this was intentional on your part or not, but I happened to like it.

    Fawkes helping Harry was a bit disappointing. I have seen it in canon, and a lot of it in fanon, to the point where it's gotten old. The bit with how the Ministry controls Dementors was cool, though. I'm surprised that Harry couldn't produce a Patronus, he has been in enough life/death situations, that he should have been ale to keep his composure and produce a Patronus. I can see your reasoning, as to why he wouldn't be able to do so, but I disagree with it.

    I definitely didn't see the Agrippa Manos assassination attempt coming. However, it was very refreshing to see someone else being targeted, for once, instead of HJ. The fact that Agrippa owes HJ a favor has me giddy with excitement, and I eagerly await how he uses it. I'm not a huge fan, like others, of the Kwan and Collins cameo, but I can appreciate it as long as they are kept on the backburner.

    The blame game between politicians was fun to read, and Fudge actually coming off with the better end amused me. Amelia Bones being knocked down didn't hurt either, especially since you don't see it much. The trio interaction was fine, though I didn't particularly enjoy it, but that is due to my personal hatred of the beaver and the retard.

    The ending was definitely full of win. I could clearly picture Fleur's face as HJ put the bitch in her place. I look forward to moar, Jbern!
     
  16. Kardikek

    Kardikek Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Sep 22, 2006
    Messages:
    372
    Thinking about the entire scenario I'm starting to feel like you had that magical cage pop up just to add unreasonable tension.
    Think about it, you're targetting someone in the crowds and you want chaos. Yes they're tri-wizard champions but from an outsider's point of view they're still snot nosed brats. The focus would lie in containing the more powerful adults in the other sections.
    Locking in the dementors also seems like a really stupid move, wouldn't they provide a better distraction if they were swooping into the crowds?

    Also, as much fun as blowing off Fleur is I just can't imagine that scene. From start to finish Harry is looking at a spot above their heads while having his little monologue. It's just.. wrong.
     
    Last edited: Jul 5, 2008
  17. XxEnvyxX

    XxEnvyxX Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Apr 30, 2008
    Messages:
    331
    Location:
    Germany, Munich
    Hagrid was the distraction and Dementors could be more problems than help. They (Kwan & Co.) would be affected by them,too and after someone uses a Patronus they were useless. Maybe they hoped to split the defenses, someone had to help Harry, Fleur (...) and then there is Hagrid and the Assassins themselves and what would Hagrid's reaction to the Dementors be?
    Would it stop him from going on a rampage and destroy they distraction?
    I think it was a good choice.
     
  18. Khazad-Dumb

    Khazad-Dumb Loves the Gay Porn DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2008
    Messages:
    1,419
    Location:
    Clutch City, USA
    That's actually a good question. Since one of the baser effects of the Dementors is feeling cold and sad, and the effects of the Imperious are a warm euphoric feeling, wouldn't the contrast be enough to snap him out of it?

    Then again, Kwan and Collins used potions as well as the Imperious to make him their mindslave, so the contrast might in fact be lessened.
     
  19. Cosmo4

    Cosmo4 Third Year

    Joined:
    Sep 29, 2007
    Messages:
    99
    Many authors use side characters in other stories. However, most of these characters become the main characters and their storylines continue. Considering that Jim is writing two stories occupying a similar timeline etc, it doesn't work as well. However, it wasn't a big deal.

    That said, their tactics don't really match up. Why did Kwan (or Collins) use a simple cutter? He uses unforgivables like they are toilet paper. If he wanted to succeed he should have. Why didn't he just throw out a curse in the confusion and then portkey out? It serves the plot but you would expect better out of Kwan and Collins. The fact that they were able to catch up with Agrippa shows that they are top notch hit wizards (we already know this from Bungle), yet their failure says otherwise.
     
  20. Khazad-Dumb

    Khazad-Dumb Loves the Gay Porn DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Feb 28, 2008
    Messages:
    1,419
    Location:
    Clutch City, USA
    Kwan has stated in Bungle that he dislikes to use AK's. I don't know about Collins, but Kwan IIRC didn't have a lot of power but a shit load of finesse.
     
Loading...