So, to give the Veela explanation some scientific context. The traits that make a Veela are all sex linked, meaning that only females can be one because the trait is passed on via the X chromosome. Obviously it is also a dominant trait if it always overpowers the muggle chromosome that is donated.

Honestly, it's by far the most sound explanation to date I've come across, and it lends credibility to the story on the whole. Details being what separate the good stories from the great ones.

As I told Jim in a review, Dumbledore's characterization was understated from the typical rehabilitated!Dumbledore tact. Another tweak on a cliche that works nicely in the chapter.

I'm looking forward to seeing what the Weasley twins have cooked up during their prolonged silence.

Good chapter.

 

A shorter chapter than usual but loving the characterizations of various characters (Dumbledore, Neville, Hat, HJ, etc)

 

Going with all the others, yeah. I have to agree with what they have said. I usually read for the ideas, and concepts presented, along with the characterization, so to see such excellent characterization in Dumbledore, who is one of my favorite characters in HP, is exceptionally pleasurable to see and read.

This is by far my favorite series from Jbern.

Hoping for faster updates, but not holding my breath.

 

Just a quick question, how close is this to it's end? I want to know how much longer it will be until I can go back to reading it...

 

Around the time chapter 13 was posted, he said that it was approximately half over.

 

Ah... Cool deal.

 

next chapter is up, not as good as the previous ones

 

That doesn't make sense.

 

Thanks for the comments. I was considering the Irish Jig at the end of the chapter, but felt the humor would be a wrong spin at the moment. It'll show up at the beginning of the next chapter.

For Dumbledore, I like varying my characterizations. The one in Bungle is an over the top bastard, the one in Darkness was a considerably less, but still had his moments. This one, I've been shooting for the "Tired Old Man" burdened by the weight of the world.

After all, the Fleur from Bungle would probably chew HJ up and spit him out for breakfast. The Fleur in Darkness was a vain and shallow little wench before she met her end.

I expect this story to run about 24 or 25 chapters and I have the rough plans for a sequel in the works.

I seem to be getting better at self editing. Less mistakes are being reported in reviews and here.

Up next is the long delayed Dragon challenge. I'm still on the fence if the water challenge will happen.

 

he put up the next chapter on FFA?

What about Remus Lupin? You did not really deal with him as of yet.

 

I'd say ditch the water task. It makes for a shitty spectacle, no one's able to watch it occur, which defeats one of the main points of the Triwizarding tournament, performing while under the scrutiny of a crowd.

 

Thats a good point about the water task. Its kind of boring, but it has the potential to bring HJ and Fleur together, even more. The Dragon task has the benefit of really showing everyone what he is made of, maybe he can kill it or something?

 

No. Don't kill the dragon. Killing the dragon shows that you have power, but no restraint. Illustrating that you can kill it, but then spare it shows power and judgment.

 

I'd say cut the 'Second Task' from Goblet of Fire, as I think it was... Nephilim that said it, it happens underwater and well... the crowd can't really see it.

However well it may have built up a friendly wall for Fleur & Harry in canon, I just disliked that task the most out of the three. Personally, I'd keep the Dragon quest, the Maze task & add another of your own personal tasks.

Either way, it's shaping up pretty nicely, though the Yule Ball is at Christmas, so I'd imagine there might be a handful of filler chapters or now as Jbern still has half the School year left & only 3 tasks to go.

 

I agree. Killing the dragon is the sign of a hack writer.

Oh, wait...

 

Did jbern say that they would only be three more tasks? That would be pretty unbalanced, considering only half of the year has gone by, and there's been about six tasks.

So, definitely that dragon task, and another round of duels. There's two confirmed. I would think there would be three or four more in addition.

 

Quality chapter, JBern. I think the Veela explaination should be law - I've yet to see anything else that made more sense. 4/5

 

I don't know I have seen some pretty good ones, there is this one that was so disgusting but made so much bloody sense as it coincided with the original Veela legend.

I am not even going to explain what that theory is but anyone who has read through the Veela fics on fanfiction.net probably ran into it once or twice.

Plus its fun seeing everyone's theory! Dobby Elf Lord's theory is hilarious though.

 

I just assumed since the number of Champions has doubled, so would the number of tasks, though odds are I'm fairly wrong on that assumption.

 

Odds are you are right about being fairly wrong. The number of tasks was decided before the tournament. That is something that doesnt change. 3 tasks always seemed to few to me. Odds are there is somewhere in the area of what 5? Broom race, duels, staff duels, dementors, and puzzle room?