I spent half of the chapter thinking about Dumbledore tricking Harry into getting Hermione pregnant and wondering what the fuck he was doing at an Order meeting before I realized that this is The Lie I've Lived, and not Turn Me Loose. From there things made a lot more sense.

As said, I enjoyed wittybutnotannoying!Hermione. For a second I thought he was going to Pronghorn it out of there, thus revealing his form to Fleur, but I imagine you have something much cooler planned for that moment. Definitely the best underwater task I've read -- kudos, J.

So, if you're 5,000 words into the next chapter, does that mean that we can expect another update of TLIL before TML? That would be sweeeet.

Also: 17 active users viewing this thread. NOICE.

 

Update was fucking awesome. The Harry/Hermoine banter was perfect. Just fucking perfect. The rhino was funny as hell.

The order meeting was far better than 99.9999999% order scenes. The order getting on Harry's nerves while he is trying to not mess up and say something he should have never known was nice.

 

Some thoughts from the change in the task.

Spoiler

"Fleur deftly scoops up a bowl full and scrambles over to her sleeping hostage. She presses it to the male's lips."

The male's lips? Does that means that Fleur's hostage is the Durmstang guy from the ball and not Gabrielle? Although, I think I can understand a reason for a change to make the task fair since I doubt Gabrielle can help Fleur like the other hostage can.

If it's really the Durmstang guy then I think she should have just do what Krum did since he would just keep staring at her because of the Veela charm anyway.

Anyway, great update. I'm dying for more of this.

Ditto that statement.

 

This chapter is, by far, the best one you've done for this story yet.

A few spelling errors, but that's it.

 

You continue to have the strangest ideas, jbern.

I had the same problem as Averis at the start, but then I really got into the task. It's been said a dozen times already and it'll be said again; the interactions between Harry and Hermione were excellent. Interesting, humourous, and only managed to get truly OOC when Hermione did her 'headline'. Can't see her having the confidence or 'audacity', as she'd likely put it, to say something like that. It's inconsequental.

Great writing as always. I never lost interest in any sentence or paragraph.

 

It's probably because this time they weren't stupid enough to put a small child in danger.

 

I just read the whole story in one go but don’t really understand why this story didn’t get the full five stars. I think it’s better than Circular Reasoning by Swimdraconian and The Dimension Shift by DreamRed who both got five stars but that’s just my personal opinion.
It just fits together really well. Captivates and forces you to read the whole thing. I usually hate Harry=James fics but I was hooked to this one after just one paragraph. That kind of quality is rare in stories nowadays.

 

Well, Circular Reasoning got 4.67 out of 12 votes. TLIL got 4.45 out of 150.
All considered, TLIL's score is better.

 

If you go back and reread the start of the thread, you'll see some of the reasons. The story is more polished now than it was when it was being written as a solo challenge piece. (Besides, there's no accounting for taste--not everyone enjoys the same things).

 

I happen to think the latest chapters are much more polished than the earlier ones. I suspect that is because Jbern wasn't quite sure where he wanted to go with this but is now.

 

Great chapter, though I would have liked to see some of the aftermath of the task, but I suppose that will come in the next chapter.

 

The Harry/Hermione relationship in this fic, especially in this chapter has a feel-good buddy movie vibe to it. I like that. They play off one another well. I would have liked a longer chapter, and an answer to the Neville's parents/Elixir of Life question, but good show in any case.

The only complaint I have is with other fics with Molly Weasley. That bitch is an annoying fishwife who's always babying everyone and talking about how anyone under 20 is 'too young'. I just hate that annoying ginger bitch.

Bitch.

 

...If she acted likeable, people would scream "OOC!"

Good chapter all around. Decent challenges, good dialogue...no complaints, really. 5/5

 

Good chapter. I, like so many others, enjoyed the Harry/Hermione dynamic. The only real complaint I have about this chapter is the lack of discussion about what happened with the elixir of life. After all of the talk about it on here after the last chapter, and the way you ended that chapter, I expected to at the very least find out what happened with that whole mess. It was nice to see Harry have an outright victory this time as well.

I mean he had plenty of knowledge and experience that the other contestants are nowhere close to matching, yet the others are dangerously close granted that may have something to do with his blast through it policy where as the other competitors seem to have more well thought out plans of attack. I think his reliance on his ability to preform lots of powerful magic with relative ease may end up being his downfall if he doesn't learn to find some more creative solutions to his problems. 5/5.

 

She's in character when she's babying (questioning the presence of) those she deems as too young to be making decisions that may leave them injured or killed. I like that J said something along the lines of "Well, maybe she has a point" because many of the Order members have been and will be killed at a young age. So, in that regard, J handled Molly's character quite well.

Bitch.

 

Well done, Jim. Very well done. Like 90% of the reviewers so far, I've got to say the Harry/Hermione vibes were perfect. They definitely play off of each other well.

I was also expecting Pronghorn to make an appearance, but you just raised the expectations for the scene when that finally happens. Can't wait to see more, dude. Great work.

 

I think I found a misplaced "I" somewhere near the middle/end, but I'm to lazy to look it up more exactly. Anyone else see it?

 

WooHoo! Great chapter man!

2bad, we didnt get to see which of Neville`s parents is sane again *sniff*

Your imagination and creativity for this task was amazing.Keep`em coming!

5/5

 

Great chapter.

I predict Fleur now finds out about Harry being Prongs. The event went too smoothly for things to stay as such, and Harry transforming into a horse is going to make wheels turn in Fleur's head, and next time he goes Prongs, she's going to ambush him and we'll have much lulz.

Remember kids, you heard it here first.

 

Or some disturbing sex.


Awesome chapter, Jbern. Also, good news about the books and such, good luck with that.