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Abandoned The Life of a Magister by nomdeguerre - M - Original Fantasy

Discussion in 'Original Fiction' started by Halt, Jun 4, 2018.

  1. Halt

    Halt 1/3 of the Note Bros. Moderator

    Joined:
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    Title: The Life of a Magister
    Author: nomdeguerre
    Rating: M
    Genre: Action/Adventure
    Fandom: Original Universe
    Chapters: 6
    Words: 170k
    Updated: January 28, 2017
    Published: December 1, 2016
    Status: Abandoned

    Fiction.Live Link

    Author's Summary: The Imperial Magisters of Thruna are among the most powerful spellcasters in the known world, but despite their magical might the empire to which they offer their services is slowly rotting due to its own decadence and corruption.

    This is an Original Quest that used to be run on Fiction.Live that @TheWiseTomato introduced to me.

    Follow the Adventures of a Mage in Fantasy Imperial Rome.

    Characters

    Perhaps it's because this is an original work, but never once throughout the read did the votes of the readers seem out of character (i.e. make the MC appear schizo) to me. The motives and characterization are generally consistent and understandable. Marcus (the MC) is a refreshingly competent protagonist. While it's clear he has a lot to learn and he's not anywhere close to being top dog, he is intelligent and quite good at the field he's chosen to specialize in.

    Marcus makes for a compelling protagonist, being competent, sympathetic and proactive - balanced out by the struggles he (and the Empire) faces and the feeling that he is a shining beacon in a time of decay and decadence.

    The cast of side-characters that accompany him are distinct in their own right and never once did I have difficulty keeping track of who's who in the story.

    Worldbuilding

    Easily one of the biggest draws to this story, the world building is just spot on. My own views on this may be biased as I have a hard on for Imperial Rome, but it does craft a world that's fascinating to read about without feeling forced. It also takes time to explore how a Rome-like civilization would change in a world with magic.

    Would definitely recommend this for anyone who has an interest in the Roman Empire.

    The magic system is utilizes is simple, and lacks the "wow" factor that Harry Potter has or the complex rules of Dresden Files, but there's a charm to it I can't quite place. Utilitarian, is how I'd describe it.

    It's also interesting that not everything in the quest is about muh magical power, but takes time to explore other aspects of life from haggling with merchants, negotiation with bureaucrats and nobility, and interacting with regular people.

    Technical Writing

    While it lends itself towards walls of text, it never actually feels difficult to read through the quest. The prose is smooth, never really becoming purple. Despite breaking common rules like "use said" and "don't overuse adverbs", you don't really notice while reading.

    On other aspects of technical writing, it's pretty much up to scruff.

    Rating: 4.5/5, rounding up.
     
    Last edited: Jun 4, 2018
  2. TheWiseTomato

    TheWiseTomato Prestigious Tomato ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    High Score:
    3694
    I greatly enjoyed this fic at the time I read it. The world building is great, the small adventures that you go through as the character is built up and the world fleshed out are entertaining, and the potential worst part of it - the fact that it's a quest - doesn't cripple the story. While I don't remember the first major arc getting a conclusion, there's still enough of it to make it engaging, and all the buildup to it was interesting too. It's of a quality that I wouldn't be surprised to see on a bookstore shelf. I can't remember if there was any outright smut, but if there was, it wasn't anywhere near as egregious as some other quests I could name from the same site.

    Overall, I'd give the story a 4/5. New, compelling, and left me wanting more, but not quite something I'd bug a friend to read as it stands.
     
  3. Zombie

    Zombie Black Philip Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Messages:
    6,036
    I'm surprised @Sauce Bauss hasn't been all over this. It has magic, it has Rome. It has everything. Over all I liked it. Considering it come from Fiction.Live that's impressive because almost everything there is a dumpster fire.

    3.5/5

    Can someone else read this and give it a rating and a review. Its been sitting here for ever and not had any attention. I know its abandoned but there's a reason it was submitted for review.
     
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