Not bad...4/5 for balance.

 

Why the fuck do people keep voting it 4/5 if it's "Not Bad" or "okay". 4/5 is meant to be reserved for 'Good and Enjoyable' fiction. And to the dude that only voted it 4/5 because it got a -1 being non-Harry Centric, then you honestly believe that this is one of the best fics you've read?

Anyway, I don't like this fic. Non-Harry Centric (obv). The smut? Aweful. The writing of the actual plot? Crap. Then not only is it not Harry-Centric, its Lucius Fucking Malfoy.

1/5

 

Meh. It's not bad, but it's not great either. Like Tinn said, it's rather average and "okay-ish" from start to finish, being a decent read in itself, but not able to deliver any awesomeness.

2'5/5 from me.

 

It wasn't bad for a smut fic, however it wasn't good either. The plot sucked, however it's a smut fic so can't really expect that much from it. The dialogue wasn't particularly good, and it felt like the author had something against contractions. There is also the fact that its not Harry centric, however that's been beaten to death already.

The positives of it are that it's something I haven't seen done before and it is readable with good grammar, to the best of my knowledge at least. Overall I'd give it a 3/5, probably worthy of being in the Recycling Bin.

 

I'm sure it was Narcissa unless you think polyjuice and a time-turner were used.

 

i could not read past spy.

 

Why the fuck would I want Harry to fuck Narcissa Malfoy? Screw that. I know Milfs are supposed to be hawt and all but let's face it, he can get fresh pussy at Hogwarts. Also, unless you have Harry fucking her to get revenge on Malfoy its stupid. He hates her husband, son, sister etc etc, there's just no way that he'd do her; even if he's a 15-17 year old boy who has never been laid. Also, I really don't care if she's got a leather fetish, if that's the important thing to take from the story I don't think its going to be very good. Even if its only supposed to be smut.

I'll comment all I want without reading when I think a fic is stupid. Reading about Lucius giving Narcissa the best his 2 inch dick can give is not my idea of a good time. I will not rate it however.

And people who like Harry fucking Narcissa over Lucius fucking her are fags? That makes no sense. People who like Lucius fucking Harry are fags.

 

You can tell a fic is stupid when you know what's in it. For instance, I remember saying some fic was stupid because it included James Potter giving Severus Snape his blessing to fuck and impregnate his wife Lily. I hadn't read the fic, but this concept struck me as moronic for a variety of reasons I won't enumerate here.

Now, what do you know about this particular fic?

A. It's Lucius-centric.
B. It's smut.

...wow, that's a lot.

Considering point A: if you don't want to read about non-Harry-centric fics, don't read it. The only criterium that matters to get into the DLP Library -- and I sincerely hope it's the last time I'm repeating it -- is quality. Lately, we had a Dobby-centred story and a Marauder-centred story submitted for review, and both made it into the Library with eulogistic reviews.

So for the last time, if all you're going to say is "omg Lucius-centric", don't post at all. Or post away, and don't be surprised if it gets deleted.

Point B: smut is stupid! There's no plot! You SO have a point here!

...Yeah, and Vash writes Harry/Lily smut. You don't have to like it, others here will and have...

As for Harry fucking MILFs: see above about Harry/Lily. It seems to be another recurring fetish around here, hence Averis's post.

 

I love Tinn.

Also, you're not going to enjoy this story if you long for something that is plot driven--this story is character driven. So, it gives a life to two characters that we don't hear about often. Two characters that are normally, and this applies to both canon and fanfiction, horrendously written and either turned into a gay husband with a smoking hot wife, or Draco's supportive parents, the Muggle-baiters. Or, even worse, a combination of the two. In this story, they are cool.

I thought that DLP (smut freaks aside) would see that two previously butchered characters have potential as main characters. Hell, I kind of want to write a Lucius story myself.

 

I've always thought of the Malfoys as a long-established pureblood family, but this fic shows Lucius building his family name and not very influential. Nice, I think.

I want to read WifeBeater!Harry now. Ginny thinks she is living the dream, until the honeymoon is over and Harry comes home wearing a sleeveless white top. I can see it now... Domestic Affairs.

 

Was anyone else stupid enough to look at the link? Thanks Memory King...


Onto the fic, I give it a 3. It was barely average and not really interesting, (other than the afore-mentioned fetish) the take on Lucius was a bit different. I think I've read a few somewhere where the Malfoy's are a Merchant House instead of a Ancient & Noble House, and this expands on that concept nicely.

As for Narcissa/Harry pr0n, wth not? Almost anything non-slash beats Weasley love. *shrugs*

 

I found this discussion quite by accident. I have to tell you, I am amused by all of this. Actually, I think I am complimented that my exercise in trailer park smut netted two pages of discussion.
For those of you who liked my little fable, thanks. For those of you who did not, thanks too. I have come to the conclusion that strong reactions are better than none at all.

 

“I have been told, by my dear sister Bella, that those who have been in the presence of the Dark Lord experience such a combination of emotions,” she whispered as she continued to hold onto his hand. “She calls it a rush. She says that men are especially affected. Heightened abilities she claims.”

Narcissa wove her fingers around Lucius’ gloved hand. “Bella says that a man becomes more of a man after these sessions. She says that passions are unchecked, aggressive, exotic and sensual.”

She cocked her head to one side and smiled at him. “Is it true, Mr. Death Eater? Could I expect this out of you?”

Lucius felt a sweat forming on his brow and sensed an uncomfortable crowding in his trousers. He tried to withdraw his hand from her grasp, but she held on fast. The facts she had mentioned were true. Lucius had felt anxiousness after each meeting. At first, he had blamed the emotions on the excitement and danger of what the group meant to him. However, he could never understand why his cock responded like it did, growing hard and demanding release. For the most part, Lucius had handled the problem by himself. With Narcissa as close as she was, a new temptation had presented itself.

Whoa, Lucius gets turned on by Voldemort!
"My little spy," overused and some of the dialogue is frankly quite (porn level) flat. Good concept. I'm not going to hate on Lucius smut for the sake of it unless it's that one horrible Lucius/Hermione abuse fic. If the author (who's just made an appearance) rewrites it, I'd bump it to a 5. 3/5 now.

 

I guess I could do a re-write if time permitted. It does not currently. Look, I am just a bit surprised at the examination by the group here. LOL. This fic was part of an experiment in porn that I tried. I found the reaction to my group of porny little stories actually amusing. What amazed me was the amount of hits they got. Sex sells, I suppose. I really don't care for writing the form in many ways so I doubt I will visit it again.

Thanks for discussion. Your crit does help for other projects.

 

"However, he could never understand why his cock responded like it did, growing hard and demanding release. For the most part, Lucius had handled the problem by himself. With Narcissa as close as she was, a new temptation had presented itself."

Looking at the excerpt I posted, it's a bit hilarious but in a bad way. Narcissa's words are fine; I have no idea what women talk about men with each other so I can't really judge. Umm, but from above, I don't think guys analyze their cocks like that.

This was interesting for a kinky one chapter, but I wouldn't want to read any more. Let's browse through your titles.

Well, I won't even bother to look at the Severus/Hermione. That's pretty reviled over here. We're not big Remus/Tonks either or into Black/Malfoy introspection either.

If someone else is willing to rec something in there, I'd give it a serious read (even if Severus/Hermione). Sex sells, but you could also view it as everything else you write does not (to us). If you browse through other threads, you can get an idea of the stories we like sans smut or pairings even. Happy writing.

I'm going to compile my favorite DLP comments on this one.
Tinn: blah blah blah. Actually the most honestly thorough and didactic review for you. We're less picky about smut.

Veri: "Well, I liked it. 4/5. -1 for it being non-harry centric."
Lincos: "And to the dude that only voted it 4/5 because it got a -1 being non-Harry Centric, then you honestly believe that this is one of the best fics you've read?"

Lincos: "its Lucius Fucking Malfoy."
knothead: "I'm sure it was Narcissa unless you think polyjuice and a time-turner were used."

failinggradstudent: "i could not read past spy."