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Complete The Other Boy Who Lived by Kwan Li - M

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by DarkAizen, Jun 29, 2009.

  1. DarkAizen

    DarkAizen Professor DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Dec 5, 2007
    Messages:
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    Location:
    Romania
    Title:The Other Boy Who Lived
    Author: Kwan Li
    Rating: M
    Genre: Adventure/Humor
    Pairing: HP/HG
    Chapters: 44
    Words: 251,850
    Updated: June 1, 2012
    Published: April 11, 2009
    Status: Complete

    Summary: AU. On that night, Neville Longbottom was the child that You-Kno-Who marked as his equal. Surprisingly, Longbottom lived through He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named's Killing curse. Fourteen years later, the Boy-Who-Lived and Harry confront their destinies.
    Link : The Other Boy who lived

    After LordRavenclaw posted a story of the same author, I came across this fic. The writing is good, and there are a lot of things that are not explained yet, which is good. Like the fact that Harry`s parents are alive but do not live toghether.

    4/5


    A sequel is in progress:

    Title: The Boy Who Died
    Rating: M
    Genre: Adventure/Romance
    Pairing: Harry P. & Hermione G.
    Chapters: 10
    Words: 65,750
    Updated: August 5, 2012
    Published: June 1, 2012
    AU. Sequel to The Other Boy Who Lived. Ten years after the War of the Dark Tower, magic is known to all, Muggles included. As the world spins closer to a new revolution, Draco Malfoy must find a way to control the ever growing thirst for magical power. Meanwhile, Hermione Granger finds that resurrecting the dead is not without consequence. Can they save the world from itself?
    Link: Sequel can be found here



    Checked by Minion, January 28, 2013
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Jan 28, 2013
  2. Grubdubdub

    Grubdubdub Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
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    1,604
    I'll wait until someone else reads this...
     
  3. Osprey Trapper

    Osprey Trapper Second Year DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    May 19, 2009
    Messages:
    71
    Location:
    Australia
    Probably has something to do with only 25k words of story, rather than any actual suspense you may have been feeling.

    I didn't think it was as good as the authors completed mystery fic though.

    As it stands 3/5, it's nothing special. Yet.
     
  4. Kang

    Kang Denarii Host DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Nov 5, 2007
    Messages:
    1,205
    Location:
    England
    I was shocked to find that I enjoyed this - a fairly vanilla, canon treading re-write that ships Harry/Hermione.

    Its probably because of all the darkness, hellfire and intrigue from the other awesome stories currently in production, but this little 5th year fic is refreshing and a derserves a read.

    5/5
     
  5. Imariel

    Imariel Headmaster DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 2, 2009
    Messages:
    1,135
    Location:
    Stockholm
    Writing is good, not excellent but clearly above average and easily readable.

    However, I see very little that distinguishes this story yet. Most likely because it's still in the beginning and is still introducing the background of the story. It can still turn out excellent or horrible depending on what the author does with it.

    I like that the author doesn't make non-BWL Harry a super student, still miraculously keeping his introducing, being the schools poster boy etc. The character has flaws, strengths, and is actually portrayed as a real human being. One negative thing is that I got Ronald Weasley vibes of him for some reason, most likely his insecurity about himself coupled with his infatuation with Hermione. Probably only my brain playing stupid jokes on me though.

    Overall, I'll agree with Kang the Mad. It's similar to canon, it's refreshing and it's going to be exciting how the Harry/Hermione turns out, aswell as where the author will take it.

    It's a 4/5 so far.
     
  6. Innomine

    Innomine Chief Warlock ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    High Score:
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    Only read the first two chapters, and it bored the hell out of me.

    2/5 from me.
     
  7. Ceebee

    Ceebee High Inquisitor

    Joined:
    May 5, 2009
    Messages:
    531
    I know it hasn't really got going yet, but it just seems REALLY bland to me. 2/5
     
  8. aaltwal

    aaltwal Auror

    Joined:
    Apr 3, 2009
    Messages:
    677
    The writing is good, but it lacks the usual punch that a good chapter one needs to bring in readers. It's a bit boring and the author likes to use the word 'smirk' a lot, and it becomes a bit repetitive. 2/5
     
  9. BioPlague

    BioPlague The Senate DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jun 22, 2006
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    Location:
    United States
    I like alternate Boy-Who-Lived stories. There are few things that can turn me off to one of them. This story doesn't really make any of those mistakes. But I'd never mistake guilty pleasure as good story-telling.

    There are a few interesting and redeeming events. The conscription of the student population into the war. The exclusion of Harry Potter from all things concerning the Boy-Who-Lived; usually the author is all too eager to have Harry for some reason be the Boy-Who-Lived without the title and scar.

    The bad is the obvious H/Hr shipper shining through the writing. Romance is unbearable - though not as bad as it is in MeghanReviews' Unsung Hero. The scenes with Harry pining are half the story, obviously. Some are ok, others are terrible. And it's obvious this author is a true-blue H/Hr shipper as she is trying to reconcile the fact that Harry is not with Ginny by having her play match-maker and also not seem to care that she isn't with Harry.

    They shoot themselves in the foot. If they'd just treat her as Ginny was treated by Rowling for the first five novels, they'd be fine. Expect Ginny to be heavily involved with someone off screen and I assume Ron will be with Luna.

    2/5. I can't justify a 3 for what is an otherwise unoriginal story.
     
  10. Grubdubdub

    Grubdubdub Supreme Mugwump

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    1,604
    Surprisingly good. It might not be very exciting, and the plot hasn't really progressed all that much, but that's fine by me. The story is simple and elegant, and I like it.

    4/5
     
  11. blablablub

    blablablub First Year

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2008
    Messages:
    26
    Location:
    Germany
    It bored me to be honest, still I read all of it so it's not the worsted.
    Not my thing I guess, maybe it's to soon to judge.

    3/5
     
  12. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

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    Location:
    Washington, D.C.
    Gee, that won't get confusing at all -__-
     
    Last edited: Jul 8, 2009
  13. Anme

    Anme Professor

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2008
    Messages:
    478
    I agree with Bioplague mostly but the romance just doesn't bother me that much. If it continues well, I'll rate it a 4. For now nothing.
     
  14. oephyx

    oephyx Headmaster DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    1,006
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    Not Europe
    The story is 100k+ now, and someone mentioned it in the almost recommended thread, so I gave it a try. Admittedly, I got bored before getting very far, so I can't really comment on the whole of the story (although I did skim a few of the further chapters to see what they looked like). I want to think I'll get back to it when I'm more in the mood, but I really doubt that will happen, so I'll just review it now.

    The biggest problem, for me, is that I didn't care about Harry (or anything else in the story for that matter). He's average without feeling genuine, and remains a subject who doesn't impose his will on things that happen around him. Not a hero at all, and the story lacked that presence, obviously.

    More generally, I'm not sure how well the author defined his personality as not-Boy-Who-Lived. Neville seems to have taken canon Harry's place and abilities in most ways. Harry mixes different attributes, seemingly at random. Maybe it's all very well planned out and explained if you read further (or more in detail than I did), but that's not what it read like. The author doesn't bother to expose his AU, and the way it's revealed really didn't grab my interest.

    The writing is competent overall, sometimes pretty funny, and the interaction works well. I did feel it was somewhat lacking intellectually, which is how the story ends up with lines like:
    ...however, since the circumstances weren't the normal ones that would usually have caused the expected reaction, the reaction wasn't the one expected in normal circustances, usually.

    Devastating insight right there.

    o_O Now that's either poor taste, or very clumsy...


    3/5 because it's bland.
     
  15. cloud91

    cloud91 Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Aug 28, 2008
    Messages:
    133
    Location:
    Central Michigan
    Updated.

    The last few chapters have made the story for me, I really like how harry has been portrayed since the Battle of Hogwarts and everything going to shit.
     
  16. Remmy

    Remmy Fourth Year

    Joined:
    Jul 20, 2010
    Messages:
    132
    Location:
    Manchester, England
    Tried to read it but got really bored, really fast. I found Hermione portrayed as very annoying here. I normally wouldn't mind a good H/Hr story but this one just got under my skin for some reason.

    The writing was average, nothing bad enough to make you puke, but not outstanding enough to keep you riveted. The facetious comments and irony every few lines was the only redeeming quality of the writing IMO.

    The character of Harry was boring and average and just didn't interest me. Maybe he appeals to others.

    The plot although interesting didn't draw me in. There were some clinchers every now and then, but nothing really to impress me. The pacing IMO ruined it to an extent. It was just drawn-out for no reason and the pining after Hermione, meh, written somewhat believably, but still annoying to me.

    I feel like an AU, though interesting, needs to be explained. Authors often forget that although the story is picture-perfect in their own minds, its not so in the minds of their readers, unless they explain, justify and describe it sufficiently. I was thrown into the story from nowhere and had little understanding of what was happening and very little inclination to find out more.

    writing style = +2
    literary humour = +0.5
    grammar and vocabulary = +1
    plot = +1.5
    characterization = -1
    pacing = -0.5
    AU World = -0.5

    Total = 3/5
     
    Last edited: Sep 20, 2010
  17. KwanLi

    KwanLi First Year

    Joined:
    Jul 22, 2009
    Messages:
    36
    The first seven chapters or so suck.

    The author is also terrible at romance.
     
  18. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

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    Messages:
    6,194
    Location:
    Washington, D.C.
    ...KWAAAAAAAAAN! KWAAAAAAAAAN


    /corny wordplay on Khaaaaan
     
  19. Agravaine

    Agravaine Slug Club Member

    Joined:
    Jun 7, 2010
    Messages:
    197
    Location:
    New England
    I like this, with some reservations. The writing is generally competent, although often falls flat during action sequences. The plot contains a number of contrivances that are grating (weird time travel shit, Bella carrying around a horcrux in a safe; Harry and co. rescuing the trio). The atmosphere does not feel as dangerous as I thinks the author would like -- not a single member of Harry's class has died through the invasion of Hogwarts and five months of war?

    Oh, and the author likes V For Vendetta just a little too much.

    On the other hand, this is a refreshingly competent take on a Harry/Hermione relationship and a generally enjoyable read. I raced through it in a day and I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

    4/5
     
  20. Anme

    Anme Professor

    Joined:
    Apr 17, 2008
    Messages:
    478
    The story confuses the shit out of me. I can't seem to get the plot. You've got some build for some things and suddenly the whole tone of the story changes.

    And I really don't get why his father/future!Harry was needed. What does it add to the story?

    3/5 because it's fairly enjoyable.
     
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