ok, I'll re-read. But I never hated Dumbledore for using Occlumency. I hated him for trying to orchestrate people's lives. Gaining as much information as you can IS NOT A BAD THING. Take it under consideration.

And maybe going on a rampage wasn't the right term. It just feels like he has recovered too quickly from the loss of everyone he knows dying. Lastly, these people are not his friends in the sense that they are his peers. THey are his friends only because they are the same age. Harry has ALL of Dumbledore's knowledge. HE has killed. He has watched people be killed. Suddenly, though he's tangled in something out of an episode of the OC?! His priorities are like a normal teenager's right now, when everything ELSE about him is completely NOT like a normal teenager's issues. THis is the same problem I have had with Canon. With everything Harry has experienced why doesn't he GROW UP!? Same thing has BEGUN to apply here. Stop whining about some 15 year-old girl who cheated on you. Get you're priorities straight. Maybe this was supposed to be a detour. Harry trying to be a child before embracing how different he is. I don't know.

Harry working side by side with Dumbledore works SOMEWHAT but there needs to be more tension between the two. Dumbledore is unwilling to kill Deatheaters. Harry needs to have more conflict with the guy. YOu were right though, I was turning this into a "Dark!Harry" story. But he does need to fight with DUmbles more. Nick FLamel has turned into the new Dumbledore, dropping Sagely wisdom on him. Fuck it. Harry was fine on his own. He doesn't NEED Flamel. and "Listen to your heart." thats the same sort of line as "the power of love." this power of emotions and the soul is something I have NEVER liked. Just not my thing. Overall, I do like your stories, just this one is starting to irk me.

 

Looks like I've come out of hibernation :shock: :twisted:

Well, I bring with my arrival a present:

Chapter XVI: Awakening

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2508076/16/

Read and review!

Harry is now slowly turning back to the old kick-ass Harry we all love - this chapter's for you guys at DLP.

 

i like the chapter

 

Other then

And him feeling sorry for giving Georgina what she deserved. . . Good chap! Happy to see you writing again.

 

Excellent chapter.

 

Good to have you back Slytherin, enjoyed the update and hope to see more coming out faster then they where before!

 

Chapter XVII: Fight Fire With Fire

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2508076/17/

Read and Review!

Yes, I agree. There's some of that Dumbledore bashing we all love though it's mild. He just needs to be slapped awake and Harry's only glad to. I hate Rita Skeeter so this chapter was an absolute joy to write :twisted:

 

Oh dear. Ravenclaw, that idiot is using your name to insult my fic again. Now I know that it's not you but if he/she is doing it to someone else, then there may be some serious problems. I don't know much about computers but I think it'd be better for you to find out who it is and get them banned somehow from ff.net. I'll keep the review there for the time being so you can inspect it for yourself.

Peace out,

Master Slytherin

 

So this story is about Muggles eradicating all Wizarding folk right?

If so, its kinda stupid. Because I doubt they'd go around murdering people just because they're "different". They wouldn't kill a kid either.

Besides, the human rights activists would be in an uproar

 

Err... you might want to re-read chapter one. It does include Muggles hunting down wizards. Hence the world is ending and Fawkes takes Harry and Tonks to an alternate dimension, as well as a couple plus decades into the past.

Of course if you have trouble believing muggles would eradicate wizards, I'm not so sure the whole idea of 'magic being real' would float your boat.

 

The new chapter is quite good, a bit short and well it doesn't really seem to fit a purpose other then fucking off Rita Skeeter. Bit of action at the end was o'right, and i admit i like the way he has constructed Dumbles even though it gives me the shits.

 

Yes, the first few chapters are mainly Egyptian Flame's stuff and I only added stuff to the beginning of each chapter to set the scene somewhat.

Erm...not really. It's just a means to get Harry to the past. I would read up to chapter 10 before making judgements if I were you, judging a story on the first chapter is rather harsh but I guess I'm a hypocrite then.

I admit I went a bit over the top with the trial but the real purpose of the chapter is the not-so-subtle (verbal) attack on the Wizengamot and Dumbledore. If "Dumbles" gives you "the shits" then I've done my job

 

Chapter XVIII: Valentine's Deluxe IV is now up.

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2508076/18/

Read and Review my friends!

 

Eh... Chapter was interesting, but I really hate the idea of Harry not being in control, and not being able to spot when his mind is being tampered with, being a master Occumules and all.

 

Chapter 18 was OK, I hope Harry figure out soon who's controlling him.

As for the downsides of the story, I'd say it would be somewhat shoddy beggining. For example, you brought in Tonks needlessly, only to kill her off a few chapters later. But I guess that's a leftover from Flame's start.

I also didn't like how you gave Harry Dumbledore's memories. I think spending several years in time-room should be enough to make him as powerful as he needs to be, while still keeping the real Dumbledore useful for his lore (this way, he's more hinderance than help, since Harry could easily replace him in any given situation).

Oh, and you overdid teenage romance on few parts. I understand that Harry is human too, but having a real steady girlfriend while leading a war is stupid, not to mention impossible. Glad to see Harry finally realize that.

Other than these, everything else is perfect. With new steady update rate, it's back amongst the top 10 HP stories at the moment.