Great chapter. Reviewed on FFN.

EDIT... The review:

Good chapter. I must admit that at first I didn't like the idea of killing off the Potters (this story already has too many similarities with Shezza's Future Remapped). But the way you wrote it atones for the whole deja vu feeling. That funeral scene was simply brilliant.

As for the best thing about The Other Side of Hell, i'd say it's the realistic way you build your story and especially characters. It's a rare thing to see such multi-dimensional OC's speaking in such a life-like way. Many Dark!/Independant! authors revert to sorting all the characters into three rough categories (Harry's group + his harem - Dumbledore's group + people to bash - Voldemort's completely evil group) and than make their speech paterns a mixture of Shakesperian romances and Justice League comic books. Glad you avoided making clished carboard chartacters (expect maybe Voldemort).

Final mark - between strong EE and weak O.

 

Yep me too. Love it.

 

This was seriously your best chapter yet. I posted on Fanfiction under an anonymous name. I suggested some ideas like Dumbledore getting angry at Harry. I don't know. ANyway, I REALLY hope you update again soon. THis chapter was FANTASTIC!! UPdate soon

 

I'm cool with the Potters dying and James and Sirius staying with Harry, but please don't have them all become like best friends or some shit. I like it how Harry has good friends but he's still a bit of a loner.

Good chapter by the way

 

I posted this before, but I'll say it here as well, Harry should NOT be a student ESPECIALLY after killing Malfoy and the others. Dumbledore also will have a tighter rein on the ORder of the Phoenix as two of Harry's main supporters, the Potters, are gone. Harry should negoatiate an agreement to stay at Hogwarts as some kind of Caretaker/Security Force for two reasons. 1. Harry wants to stay at Hogwarts. 2. Dumbledore WANTS him at Hogwarts so he keep an eye on Harry and Harry will add muscle, but Harry is too dangerous to be around the students. ALso, DUmbledore is afraid Harry will corrupt them.

 

Excellent Master Slyth i believe a low O would be quite suitable for this awesome fic. I liked the way you constructed the battle scene, the use of those curses was a nice touch as well. So is Snivillius gonna get a kick in the face anytime soon? perhaps an assassination here or there? Well i hope the next update is up as quick as the last few have been.

 

Co-sign, I wanna see more Harry/Dumbles arguments

 

Perhaps... Just to make my Snape position clear. I think he's an amazing character but, even in the past, I don't think Harry could ever do anything but hate him.

As a reply to your review Charlie, while your ideas are good, they wouldn't fit in the tone of the story. Dumbledore would want Harry around to protect the school while h's gone but he'd never admit this to Harry. Kicking him out then letting him be a guard is a way of saying "I'm desperate", something Dumbledore would never say/think/do.

Why thank you! That was my favourite scene too!

I know, that's one thing that annoys me most. When Harry goes up to Griphook and bows while saying "Good afternoon, may your many wives have voluminous bosoms and decadantly radiant offspring" I just drop the fic.

 

Perhaps... Just to make my Snape position clear. I think he's an amazing character but, even in the past, I don't think Harry could ever do anything but hate him.

As a reply to your review Charlie, while your ideas are good, they wouldn't fit in the tone of the story. Dumbledore would want Harry around to protect the school while h's gone but he'd never admit this to Harry. Kicking him out then letting him be a guard is a way of saying "I'm desperate", something Dumbledore would never say/think/do.

Why thank you! That was my favourite scene too!

I know, that's one thing that annoys me most. When Harry goes up to Griphook and bows while saying "Good afternoon, may your many wives have voluminous bosoms and decadantly radiant offspring" I just drop the fic.

About the Dark Arts addiction...you know that snide voice? Guess what it is? Harry's dark side! So it's not anyone controlling him or anything like people thought!

 

Perhaps... Just to make my Snape position clear. I think he's an amazing character but, even in the past, I don't think Harry could ever do anything but hate him.

As a reply to your review Charlie, while your ideas are good, they wouldn't fit in the tone of the story. Dumbledore would want Harry around to protect the school while h's gone but he'd never admit this to Harry. Kicking him out then letting him be a guard is a way of saying "I'm desperate", something Dumbledore would never say/think/do.

Why thank you! That was my favourite scene too!

I know, that's one thing that annoys me most. When Harry goes up to Griphook and bows while saying "Good afternoon, may your many wives have voluminous bosoms and decadantly radiant offspring" I just drop the fic.

About the Dark Arts addiction...you know that snide voice? Guess what it is? Harry's dark side! So it's not anyone controlling him or anything like people thought!

 

Chapter XX: Trustworthy Protection

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2508076/20/

read and review!

 

Average chapter, I'd say (average for you, that is).

I liked that Harry had invited James & Sirius to the DA, although I don't understand why he didn't invite Remus as well (he is much more levelheaded than these two). Occlumency lesson was interesting too.

I didn't like Harry's reaction to Beatrice finding out about Time Travel. He should have simply oblivated the bitch instead of sending her away with such potentially damaging information. On the other hand, it could be just my dislike towards Beatrice speaking.

Still, it IS irritating at times that your Harry generally don't use his full range of powers (like legilinency & oblivation etc).

(Review from FFN)

 

Fuck Remus, Remus is a dick and I'm glad he's not in the group. Anyway, is Harry gonna get together with Beatrice or are they gonna dance around each other? Chapter was pretty good on the whole.

 

No but think about it. He didn't visit HIS BEST FRIENDS SON once while Harry was at the Dursleys, never sent him any letters at Hogwarts, what would Lily and James Potter think of that? Then, he kisses another guys girlfriend and tries to tell the guy to calm down right afterward instead of apologizing or anything. And plus, all he's done is gone around snogging Georgina in this story.

 

You'll see

I admit I'm not a big fan of Remus. He's an idiot but this shit belongs in the rant thread I suppose... Well, there is an understanding between Harry, James, Sirius and Lily. All lost their parents (or what they saw as parents). When you share a thing like that, new friendships are forged.

I agree that it was average. I was testing a different type of writing style with this one.

I personally like Beatrice. Many people will be asking ytf he shouldn't have obliviated her arse but he realised that he needs to tell someone at some time so why not sooner rather than later?

I see legilimency as an invasion of privacy, kind of like stripping a stranger's clothes off; you can do it if you want but how would you feel about it? Embarrassed? Yes.

Thanks for the reviews guys. I hate writing these filler chapters but it can't all be action eh? Plus they're very important to the plot.

 

Exceeds Expectations - nothing is ever perfect, right?

It bothers me that neither Harrty nor Flamel bothered to put up any privacy charms before talking about a secretive topic - Harry's past, future, or whatever it is. Surely they're smarter than that. An idiot could've overheard them.

Um I'm not sure if it's your story or not, but I'm pretty sue that this was in yours. James has a sister that hangs out with Lily, right? Is it Beatrice? IS this even in your story? If it is, then why was she never mentioned at the funeral scene as well as the conversation about where James and Sirius will live. I'm pretty sure that it was your story in which James had a sister... hmmm... well if it's not yours, then just ignore that.

Sorry for not leaving a review at FF.net but it's being really slow today and I have very little patience on mondays...

Keep up the good work and update soon

QS

 

Nice chappy. I hope you update soon.

 

I liked the chapter but i think i'll be backing Ip in saying that it was a bit average, though like you said Master Slyth good to see you trying new styles but stick with the old one.