Title: The Path Chosen
Author: Random_Shinobi
Rating: R
Genre: Action/Adventure
Pairing: Unknown
Status: Work in Progress
Summary: Harry Potter has been trained by a certain Dark wizard since he turned five. What happens when now fifteen years old Harry arrives his first time to Hogwarts to get his OLWs?

Link: http://www.ficwad.com/viewstory.php?sid=33049

Features: Intelligent!Voldemort, Competent!Dumbledore, Slytherish!Harry and Capable!Death Eaters.

And most importantly, there is no superpowers (or equivalents). Harry isn't the Heir of Gryffindor, Slytherin, Merlin and God knows who. He isn't a multiple magical Animagus, nor is he the strongest wizard ever. Almost miraculously he isn't almost-worshipped by goblins, nor does his dark mysteriousness have all females swooning. And by some terrible misfortune he isn't the richest wizard in the world and no, he doesn't have dozen-or-so hereditary votes in the Wizarding government.

Author's Notes: In the later chapters there will be lots of graphic violence, tiniest bit of smut and few character deaths. Be warned but rest assuredly, there will be a (semi) happy ending. This a story for those who like magic mixed with martial arts and machine guns. The beginning is bit OC-heavy, but it will pass. Relatively fast paced.

 

I literally cringe everytime I see that horribly cliched, over-dramatized scene in a fic. 1/5, and LMAO @ the powerful Ginny Weasley, managing to hit Harry with a spell.

 

im not gonna read this story because of the spelling in the summary. OLW's?
come on. its three damn letters. not to mention this guys fluidity seems really off. if im wrong someone tell me so i can read this.

 

This is a story written by someone who thinks he's really good but really isn't.

I can find no other explanation for that dramatic entrance scene and the ridiculous attempts at evening the characters up.

2/5

 

Yes, dramatic enter with slamming doors N5687 and Gin slut ruined promising fic. And too many muggle weapons. Pity.

1,5/5

 

Not a fucking again... Why do somebody always put my fics here?

I'm just going to get flamed again... It's clear that this fic is not going to be much more popular than the last.

And no, I don't think I'm a good writer.

Too many muggle weapons? If we discard blades, that leaves two. A automatic pistol and an explosive device.

My English is far from perfect, but it's not that bad.

Have fun flaming my fic!

 

I agree that this started great, only to somewhat slip once it moved to Hogwarts.

I didn't mind muggle weapons, since they were properly leveled with magic and made duels more interesting. The entrence scene was a bit rushed, unrealistic and corny, but OK, that was just one tidbit in a rather long story. But super!Ginny almost completely ruined it for me. I could get pretty and somewhat competent Ginny, but super-powerful self-asured bat-eye boogie machine... nope, for me, she'll always be lil' blushing fangirl to grow into a love potion wielding tramp and nothing more.

Meh, I'll keep reading it, until Ginny fanboyism becomes unbearable.
4/5

 

Well, I was going to give it a better rating until that. ^^

If you're that much of a pushover to suddenly admit defeat before th eyes of DLP members that don't like your story, then I can't respect you as an author.

You don't think you're a good author? Then how can I go into your story thinking it WILL be good? It's not arrogant to say 'Hey, I think my writing is good but I'm always open to critique on where I can make it better.'

As for the story, it was decent enough, even though it was a bit of effort to trudge through the opening scene. And as everyone stated before, how is Ginny even remotely super confident if she's not on her back with her legs spread?

Would have been a 3/5 if you had just grabbed your nuts and shown some backbone, rather than rolling over and taking the whipping. Since you didn't, 2/5.

 

I wouldn't go that far. There a lot of bad authors out there, and quite a few of them who know they are bad. The point is, fanfiction is meant to be for fun. So what if he is not an excellent author and recognizes that his stories aren't that great? He doesn't claim his stories are good, leave him alone.

Of course that raises the question of why the stories are still up at Ficwad, but that is the author's decision.

 

I'd say that it wasn't too bad until it got to Hogwarts. By then, it was getting fairly boring.

And Thalarian, sometimes showing backbone isn't good. I'm just gonna quote a dude named Ascentis the Silencer.

One of his stories are quoted below, (don't read it if you don't wanan break down dude to the slaughter of the english language):

And his reaction to forum critique and flaming?

EDIT: And he's got two stories! BY the way, if anyone knows Bulgarian, what's he syaing in the last sentence?

 

You misunderstood me.

What I meant to say was that I don't think that people at DLP are going to like this fic. That is simply because most of you hate Ginny. I didn't mean that I think my fics are bad.

I simply do recognise that my English and overall writing skills could be better. I write to improve my skills.

When someone did put my last fic here, I did defend it, but it did no good. Therefore I merely decided not to bother again.

After all, your opinions don't really concern me.

But please, do not insult me.

EDIT: By the way, the fic is completed.

To Wisdom's mountain: My the stories are still up at Ficwad, because they are actually liked there. Even 'Thicker Than Blood', which could probably compete from the title of most flamed fic in DLP, has gotten very positive respond there. I must say that that fic got quite spectacularly misunderstood here. You apparently decided it was simple underage smut, which is not the point of it at all. Of the five chapters uploaded only two contain smut... But then again, those are the two first chapters, and only they had been published when the fic got here. So perhaps your reactions were understandable... even if they where hypocritical.

 

Alright, I actually liked this story, until Ginny became a major player.

I do not understand why you made Ginny powerful (indeed so powerful that Harry wonders if she is more powerful than him), smart, and attractive to Harry.

Also, I find it illogical that after being raised in an environment that dispises the dark arts, and being affected by them personally (the Chamber), that Ginny would be willing to learn the dark arts.

In the story you have again made Ginny someone who hero-worships Harry, and why would Harry, having been trained to kill, find this appealing?
Also, you have Ron and Hermoine being friends in the story again. How is this possible, they hated each others guts before the troll. And speaking of the troll, how is Hermoine even alive to reach this book?

Also, why would they form the DA again?

These are just a few of problems in the story, but the major one for me is Ginny. I can overlook the others, but portraying her as smart (knowing an attack spell that can punch through Harry's shield, and according to him, probably most shields)/strong etc.

But, like I said, I really enjoyed it, until Ginny came in. It could be good, but you need to elaborate more on these things. Heck, if you can come up with a good reason for Ginny being powerful, and explain it, that would make the story much better. Until then, good, but not great.



ps. Why would Harry, being able to ask for anything he can if he wins the duel, ask for a date with GINNY?

 

I agree with that. Rape scenes aside, I actually liked the rest of the story.

 

I kind of took this out of context, so I'm sorry for misunderestimating ) ) your intentions. I don't think this story is bad, maybe not my kind of story, but not bad. Not sure I understand how judging your story based on the first two chapters makes me a hypocrite, though.

 

As did I. I am actually waiting for the last chapter to come out so I can give it a proper review.
Personally I agree with you Random, it got a hard rap because of the start

 

You are reading far too much into the whole Harry/Ginny thing. My trilogy isn't and won't ever be a true H/G romance. And it most definitely isn’t going to end as H/G.

And I never said that Harry liked her character. Actually, pretty much on the contrary. The only positive thing he has said about her character was her willingness to fight.

The training thing was a simple bargain. This is what I said at the end of chapter nine: ”I'm quite sure that some of you hate me for the semi-Harry/Ginny in this chapter. But remember Harry isn't doing it because he likes her, but because she has something he wants.”

Besides, having somebody to watch you back is very useful.


About the duel, I could nearly ask if we are speaking of the same fic.

1. Harry didn't recognise the curse she was casting, and was overconfident enough to think that he could block it no matter what it would be, instead of simply dodging it.

Turned out that the spell had very good spell penetration (like Avada Kedavra). Even if the spell was decided to ignore shield charms, Harry still managed to block most of it.

2. Harry could have killed them all in a blink of eye. Beating them, but leaving them physically unharmed is much more difficult.

3. The power thing was to show that Harry’s power level isn’t that exceptional. Ginny isn’t magically stronger than him, but she is around his level. I’m tired of the fics in which Harry, Dumbledore and Voldemort are many times stronger than everyone else. In my fic they are going to be the strongest, but with much smaller difference to the others.

4. The spell Ginny used is not that exceptional. There are many spells with similar ability to penetrate shields, like the Killing Curse and the entrails-rotting curse. The last one was never mentioned to be in this category, but Harry did block one by conjuring a boulder instead of using a shield charm.


”Also, why would they form the DA again?” The answer is very simple: Lord Voldemort and his band of white masked killers.

”Also, you have Ron and Hermoine being friends in the story again. How is this possible, they hated each others guts before the troll. And speaking of the troll, how is Hermoine even alive to reach this book?” Actually, there is a reason why they are together, but it was never mentioned in the fic (the scene was cut off). It doesn’t really matter anyway, as they are going to play a very minor part in the fic. About the troll, there was never a troll. The Dark Lord had already been resurrected when Hermione started Hogwarts.

EDIT:

To Wisdom's Mountain: It was not about judging the story based on the first two chapters. It was because of the reasons why the fic was flamed...

EDIT2:

Duke of Rothwood said: “ps. Why would Harry, being able to ask for anything he can if he wins the duel, ask for a date with GINNY?”

I have a reason... This is what Harry thought in chapter eight: “Anyway, those rumour would undoubtedly hinder him in his mission, and therefore he would have to do something about them.

As a first step, he should stay shut up about Dark Arts. Secondly, he should do something good without any apparent ulterior motive. Thirdly, he should socialize more.”

Notice the third part. That makes it quite clear, doesn’t it.