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WIP The Prince Who Was Promised by cxjenious - M

Discussion in 'The Alternates' started by Cxjenious, May 30, 2013.

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  1. MobMentality

    MobMentality DA Member

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    Yeah, even setting combat aside, there are going to have to be some hard limits built into any wand Harry manages to acquire, or the most interesting part of the story, the political maneuverings, will quickly lose credibility. Harry's already got a tremendous advantage with his Legilimency, add in spells like Imperius and Obliviate, and any political problems he might face will seem hollow. HPverse might have been able to use the moral excuse to prevent such abuses, but given the person this Harry is growing into and the lessons Cxjenious is having him learn, it's hard to imagine he won't use those tools frequently if they are made available to him.
     
  2. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Seems to me you don't need hard limits if him getting a working wand is the end of the story.
     
  3. Sn0rkack

    Sn0rkack Professor

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    OP mentioned something about Dany's dragon's heart-strings, so even if he does get a wand it hopefully won't be for a long while. Her dragons aren't born until after season/book 1 and unless Harry gets a vision in the flames or something else and travels across the world (in the middle of a war, mind you) he wont get the wand until (I'm thinking) the conflict with the Others brings him north of the wall, when the war in the South is essentially over (Renly dead, Robb dead, Stannis gone). I doubt wand-magic will be used much in combat against humans and more against Voldemort and the Others.
     
  4. FreakLord

    FreakLord Professor DLP Supporter

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    Why do I get the feel that this little sentence is very important for the next 2 chapters? Maybe a little guessing game is in order.

    Aeryn becoming a personal enforcer for Black Prince.
     
  5. Sauce Bauss

    Sauce Bauss Second Year ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    12 year old girls aren't particularly imposing enforcers. She'd be more likely to be rapebait if she ran around at night trying to impose the Black Prince's will on miscreants and ne'er do wells, or she would if it weren't for Harry's memorable lesson.

    I don't think she fits into any of the traditional female roles. I almost feel like she will be the Melisandre to Harry's Stannis, only with more freedom on Harry's part and less blind appeasement.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2013
  6. Prios

    Prios Second Year

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    It would be fun if she tries to convert him to her faith and what problems that would bring with the other lords if she succeeds.
     
  7. Cxjenious

    Cxjenious Dark Lord

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    I've been entertaining the idea of including a few other pov's in the future, namely those that would be effected by Harry's inclusion in the story. Not entire chapters; just snippets, really, of key moments.

    Thoughts?
     
  8. The Fine Balance

    The Fine Balance Headmaster

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    Keep them in an interlude, perhaps? Inserting snippets within a chapter and embedding them in-between his narrative would seem weird.
     
  9. Celestin

    Celestin Dimensional Trunk

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    I think it's a good idea. It always is interesting to see what other characters think about the main one and his actions. Just don't use them too often. Make them special.
     
  10. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    Snippets, interludes, scenes, whatever... sounds fine to me, though I'd personally prefer that Harry's POV continues to be 80%+ of the narrative (which I assume was the plan anyway -- so rock on).
     
  11. Cxjenious

    Cxjenious Dark Lord

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    That's how I intended it, to be like interludes.
     
  12. Paimon

    Paimon That fucking cat

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    It really depends on the extent. If it were limited to key moments and the snippets themselves were pretty limited with respect to chapter's length, I personally wouldn't mind.

    That said, changes in PoV can break flow pretty horribly if done incorrectly and in general I don't support them. You would have to somehow lead into the alternate PoV snippets in or around the end of Harry's segments. Simply switching perspective cold turkey wouldn't be so great, IMO.

    Edit: Didn't see the interlude comment. Interludes tend to incorporate the lead into the PoV switch anyway, so whatever.
     
    Last edited: Jun 18, 2013
  13. Celestin

    Celestin Dimensional Trunk

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    A good place for a first interlude would be after this chapter. You could use it as a bridge over a timeskip.
     
  14. Cxjenious

    Cxjenious Dark Lord

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    Good idea. I can think of a few pov's that would go well.
     
  15. Skeletaure

    Skeletaure Magical Core Enthusiast ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    Often the purpose of such interludes is somewhat masturbatory: we go around a cast of characters for the purpose not of exploring those character's lives or stories, but rather seeing them as nothing but objects from which we get to see the main character's reflected glory (or infamy).

    If all we're going to see from these characters is what they think of Harry and his actions - good or ill - I'd say leave them out.

    Not just for the "it's masturbatory" reason above, but also because it feels like a characterisation shortcut - instead of discovering these characters' thoughts and feelings through the vehicle of our main character's point of view, we're being told directly.
     
  16. Garden

    Garden Supreme Mugwump

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    Yeah, the way Worm by Wildbow uses interludes is a good example of how to do it correctly. They play a purpose, and they're not there just to tell us how awesome the main character is.
     
  17. Aggrocrag

    Aggrocrag Second Year

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    It may be a little late to ask this question:

    Is Barristan going to Casterly Rock as an escort, or permanently to guard him? I may be assuming that where a member of the royal family goes, so does a Kingsguard. (From the example of Arys accompanying Myrcella to Dorne) Plus, Selmy is Lord Commander, so it would be weird if it were for keeps.

    Concerning interludes:
    I say yes. I think it would be great to get a insight to characters that we don't know too much about, like his new guards, etc. I'd stay away from characters we already know from canon, unless you need to OC their characters...
    Also I have to say, whenever GRRM switched POV, it took a while for me to acclimate to the new scenery, (There's SO much of it!) so maybe don't stray too far from Harry?
     
  18. Ched

    Ched Da Trek Moderator DLP Supporter ⭐⭐

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    I am not as interested in POV snippets from random OC guards as I am in snippets from characters we know (and hate, or love) from canon. Tywin and Tyrion would be damned interesting, for instance, as would Genna. Or Barristan. Or whoever.
     
  19. Celestin

    Celestin Dimensional Trunk

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    I think it would be interesting if it was a character from the canon that Harry doesn't interact too much with, but affect a lot. For example Varys is such a character at the moment, but he is not someone I would choose for the first interlude.
     
  20. Cxjenious

    Cxjenious Dark Lord

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    Ser Barristan is just an escort. He isn't staying permanently.
     
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