Give him an unhealthy sexual appetite for chipmunks. If nothing else it will sufficiently wierd your readers out so that no matter how crappy the rest of the story is, they will remember it as the story where "harry fucks the chipmunks."

 

I'll post quickly. I was reading this in a library and people are giving me weird looks because I am literally laughing (quite loudly might I add) at Midknight's tearing apart of HBP. ONly Imperion and AK are unblockable I thought. There is no countercurse, but that's different. A countercurse is "Finate Incantatum" for example. And Harry sucks at Defense now also (can't keep up with the mental spell-casting) Harry Potter is now ONLY good at quidditch (and SLIGHTLY above average at defense).

 

thanks Charlie.

The sad thing as I've said before is... I didn't set out to write that much at all, maybe a few bullet points here and there. I also did not set out to purposefully trash the book. As I read i just could not help from writing, there were so few good things I cared about at all.

A few comments I added later on after I got done with the story, like the clusterfuck comment about chapter 1, but a majority of them I presented as my wife and I read, and she'd ask questions, or I'd write down something I thought was off. I went back and reread it the third time to do a final problem list, and I doubled my list =( Its just insane, I had so many typos in there as my fingers flew over the keys writing in anger and annoyance.

 

Just re-read this. Still brilliant and funny!!

 

ty again. I've gotta go back and spell check those posts, I reread it and it's funny to me, since I don't remember writing half of it I was so mad, heh.

 

That sucks. I want more of your story!

UPDATE!!

 

You know I was thinking about something that was brought up in another thread, and I started to wonder something.

The Inferi. Why the hell did she bring them around, they don't match with the world at all. For the most part, the HP canon world has been way too fluffy and light, even in the death scenes. Big whoop, guy chops his hand off, ghosts, small torture, etc.

Bringing zombies out does not mesh well with the world she's created. Why wouldn't Voldemort have massess of these things? It's not like they're a resource he has to struggle to maintain power to, since the ones in the horcrux cave were still active after years.

Werewolves, other then the kind and cuddly Lupin, being brought out as a cannibalizing child killer also doesn't fit.

the more I think about it, the darker turn the series is finally showing a bit more, doesn't work at all when 5/6ths of the story so far have been light and weak in pretty much everything.

It'd almost be like the wolf in the 3 little pigs story. It's assumed he wants to eat the pigs, and is trying to blow their houses down to get to them. He knocks down the first 2, but doesn't hurt the pigs. Now if suddenly, he managed to knock the third brick house down, and disembowled the pigs, and then finished dinner by crapping on their corpses... See how that doesn't work either when you've done things for one way for so long? It may of been assumed the whole time something bad would happen if the wolf got the piglets, not having anything drastic happen the entire story, and suddenly changing the end to a NC-17 gore fest is like suddenly reading a different book

 

Definitely slightly darker, but the cannabilizing werewolf ultimately didn't kill anybody, and the Inferi were typical creatures of the dark in the sense that they could be driven off with "Fire" :starts singing the cliche song "Fire":


Anyway, my bigger questions are about how she "jumped the shark" in terms of character and the lack of logic they displayed.

Someone's been lying to you FOR YEARS and what do you do? "Yes, I am DUmbledore's man." PERFECT JK. Wow. I couldn't have thought of a better response if I had been taking a shit, whilst in the middle of a 30 year coma. Wonderful job.


These are the bigger concerns though.

 

yeah, I'm with Midknight on the Inferi thing. It seemed to me like she suddenly played/saw a few games [Baldur, etc] and decided to use the idea. *snorts* pathetic. I didn't know what was that all about. No matter.

oh, that was one comment that made me STOP reading and shake my head. After I checked it was still there. I don't care how starved for affection Harry is, that one comment [even in the context] was RIDICULOUS. I'd like to think that James Potter and Sirius Black almost came back from the dead to smack him for it. I mean, I thought that Harry was not an imbecile, but after that I agree with Snape's assessment of his mental capabilities.

gah, just gah...
*wanders off to the cool icons*
:roll: :evil: uke:
is calm now

 

Yeah, it really was pathetic, wasn't it?

 

agree
with Snape making the *gasp* Unbreakable Vow, I almost ditched the book, but since I beta one of the Severitus stories I felt obliged to continue.
*sight* I was awfully disappointed, and had to electronically 'comfort' a distraught author. *shakes head* that book was so bad that I had to read a few fanfictions to even think calmly about it.

 

rofl think how I felt, having read it several days prior to release, and then I fell under my own Spoiler warning of do not say crap before the 16th about it or die! heh.

The more I think about that book.. the more it just seems so far off it should of been renamed Random kids who have the same names as the Harry Potter kids in a similar world and the Half Blood Prince.

 

*smirks* understandingly at Midknight
have a brandy, it helps [some] I'm on my third helping, and almost feel brave enough to think about HBP again.
yeah, half-blood Prince -please let the lightning struck just right about now. When I read THAT explanation, I was like -"Is that an Ann from Green Gables crap or what????" couldn't shake that connection ever since. :roll:

 

Like i said before
when i read HBP i got confused.
I thought i was reading some crap fanfiction.
then after a few seconds i realize oh wait this is the real thing.
very dissapointing

 

my thought exactly

 

The you read down and see HP/GW and RW/HG and it all falls into place