I was recently skimming a dimension hopper fic when a passage caught my eye. Draco was being a bigger ass than usual, so Harry and Co decided to take him down a peg and enlisted the help of Remus who was teaching Defense at the time. The following was how the prank went

And it got me thinking. most of the fics I read have generally poor retaliation against a rather stupid Malfoy. Poorly worded insults, and little else. so I was wondering, What does the general DLP member want when it comes to pranks/Retaliations/and general embarrassment?

Personally I like pranks like the one above. something that is cutting, something with a long term effect. A battle of words is quickly forgotten, but public humiliation is something that can linger for generations if you get a good story teller. Generally speaking, I like the type of thing I'm to nice of a guy to do to people in real life. What about the rest of you?

 

Overwhelming retaliation, otherwise Harry ignores it. Harry engaging in a prank war is just classless and stupid, and stupid, and, and...

No matter how cleverly implemented (as your excerpt was, relative to other fics), I'd prefer the author to put that creativity into coming up with something actually pertinent to the plot.

 

I think that an intelligent Harry, the one I want to read about, would have Malfoy so far from his thoughts that the author would never even need to make up pranks like the one above. When you realize that you are studying magic to try and save the world, trivialities such as the schoolyard bully aren't quite so terrible anymore. Yet it seems like, even when Harry is powerful and intelligent, he still likes to act the fool and get into random fights or duels with Draco Malfoy. It pisses me off.

 

Funny excerpt, even though wand/penis jokes are gheeey.

The tried and true method of dealing with a Malfoy, as outlined by Hermione and Mr. Weasley:
1. Let [insert Malfoy] run their mouth about whatever.
2. Punch [insert Malfoy] in the face.
3. ????
4. Profit.

 

Oh come on, you're not all so mature that you didn't find that funny? Penis jokes never get old. Yes, we all agree that Malfoy deserves a good smack in the jaw, but for the more... intellectually minded of us a good dose of humiliation is just as satisfying. In other words I like stupid jokes .

Still, I don't particularly want to read about a Harry that is serious all the time and doesn't let loose once in a while. It's just unrealistic, and we all appreciate a good sense of humour. Just look at nonjon's fics for the most obvious example. Serious!Harry is good for when he's saving the world, but does he really have to be an aloof prick that turns his nose up in disgust to every little bother like Malfoy all the time?

Aekiel

 

I think my favorite Malfoy humiliation of all time was in Jeconais' This Means War. What story is that from, anyway, Manatheron? It sounds vaguely familiar.

 

Not addressed to me, but I'll field it anyways.

It's from this one.

I don't know what chapter the quote is from, but it's in there somewhere.

 

Seems kinda gay to me, though the wand/penis insinuation is always good for a laugh. I hate any fic in which the pranks turn into musicals/plays performed by the staff in the great hall, cheesiest shit there is.

 

This can be attributed to mass plagiarism and lack of creativity and imagination by fanfic authors. Comon guys, it's magic. You can do virtually anything with it. But no, you have to go and do something that is horribly cliche, cheestastic, uninspired, and which has already been done by hundreds of other authors.

It shouldn't be hard to come up with at least 2 or 3 unique and creative pranks if you are writing a mid length fic.

 

Steal his girl, if the girl is attractive. Or, you know, diddle Narcissa.

 

A girl that sees anything redeeming or worthwhile in Malfoy is a girl not fit for wiping the shit from my ass, not matter how good she looks.

 

Narcissa it is, then. Everyone loves the sisters Black. And their female offspring.

 

QFFT! Yarrgh's was one of the best bits of revenge of all time.

 

Huh, I never realised that Yarrgh was Apocalypso.

Fury of the Hellspawn is the story with the Harry-sticks-Draco-to-the-wall-while-he-screws-Narcissa scene. It's too hot for fanfiction.net

http://www.ficwad.com/author/7487
http://www.fanfiction.net/~apocalypso33

 

It's also on Restrictedsection.org with an extra chapter.

Chapter 6, pretty sure it was never uploaded on ficwad.

Linkage: http://restrictedsection.org/file.php?file=6269

Yep, not uploaded on ficwad.

 

Aha! This is a trick question, for the only proper way to deal with a male Malfoy is through death, which doesn't need to be humiliating, just painful.

Narcissa on the other hand...

 

In Apocalypso's fic Malfoy was tortured for a few hours by Narcissa and Tonks and then banged to death by a male and female house elf. After watching Harry screw his aunt, mother and cousin....

^Winner of all time best Draco kill-off there.