1. Hi there, Guest

    Only registered users can really experience what DLP has to offer. Many forums are only accessible if you have an account. Why don't you register?
    Dismiss Notice

WIP The Reaping by Para_Docks - Worm

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Oz, Apr 17, 2016.

  1. Oz

    Oz UNQUESTIONABLY THE MOST HETERO MAN IN THE WORLD Moderator DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jan 31, 2008
    Messages:
    8,769
    Gender:
    Female
    Location:
    Baile Átha Cliath
    Title: The Reaping
    Author: Para_Docks
    Rating: T
    Genre: Alternative Universe, Canon Divergence
    Status: In-Progress
    Fandom: Worm
    Pairings: None
    Summary: None.
    Link: SpaceBattles

    AU fic in which Taylor triggers with an ability similar to Glaistig Uaine's.

    Fairly well written, interesting power, although like a lot of Worm fics, Taylor gets a little too powerful a little too fast. Interactions between Taylor and her ghosts can be both good and bad.

    4/5
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Apr 18, 2016
  2. Jarik

    Jarik Chief Warlock

    Joined:
    Feb 13, 2008
    Messages:
    1,447
    Location:
    Melbourne
    Similar concept to Speak with the Dead but with characters you care about more. In the end though, she has everything too easy. Her insta-kill attack should have been removed and she'd have been forced to actually kill them using her collected powers.

    Unlike Speak with the Dead, it doesn't have much more than that. It's an overpowered alt!Power Taylor fic.

    3/5 - a fun fic that I'm really enjoying, but not really a quality one.
     
  3. Nemrut

    Nemrut The Black Mage Prestige

    Joined:
    Aug 9, 2009
    Messages:
    1,309
    Location:
    Department of Post-Mortem Communications
    High Score:
    2,101
    Yeah, am not really feeling this one. Taylor already has too many ghosts, and she's only going to get more from this point on.

    The interaction with the ghosts is kinda fun but I admit, I liked the other ghost story more. Armsmasters reaction and shenanigans there didn't endear the story to me either.

    2.5-3/5
     
  4. Chime

    Chime Dark Lord

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2007
    Messages:
    1,953
    It works right now. I'm kinda thinking the story is on its last legs. Part of the problem is she does have too many ghosts; each new power is another nail in the coffin - fewer players to oppose her, more powers to defend herself with. She's basically the faerie queen. I don't think the ensuing conflict (if any one is actually planned) is going to be very interesting.

    There was a previous iteration of this idea, except Taylor could recall ghosts of parahumans to fight for her. That worked a little better because she could dredge up the already-dead and create some more interesting conversations. Even that didn't last and it had an okay set-up for some E88 political shenanigans.
     
  5. Iztiak

    Iztiak Heir

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2006
    Messages:
    2,733
    Location:
    India
    This story was not well thought out.

    Her power involves instantly killing any cape she touches with apparent heart attacks, like some kind of touch*-activated death note. Then she takes their powers and collects a menagerie of ghosts? Why? She doesn't need any powers besides the first part of her own. She could touch Lung and *boop* heart attack. Alexandria? *boop* Crawler? *boop*

    Just the first part of her power was broken enough, stealing the others is ridiculous. How can there be a plausible conflict in this story, she might as well have triggered as God.

    Never mind the fact that the author seems to have a very weak/no grasp of Taylor's canon personality. It took a lot to lead up to Coil's end in canon. It was a last resort, even if she was a villain.

    This Taylor triggers and casually murders 4-10 people and still behaves like a starry eyed baby talking about how she's gonna be a Hero™! I mean, this could have been pulled off, if her power was subtly calling her to use it more often or influencing her mind like Burnscar, but none of that is written in.

    I gave up about 15 chapters in, and I'm not certain there was any plot progression... Or a plot to progress besides the narration of Taylor the "heroic" murderhobo.

    2/5
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2016
  6. Cxjenious

    Cxjenious Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2005
    Messages:
    1,764
    Location:
    TN
    Well, for one, she has to touch them to kill them. She can't just casually stand by someone in a room and "boop", they're dead. She's a squishy human with a death touch. I also recall her power doing exactly what you mentioned; influencing her to use it.

    With that being said, this is a guilty pleasure fic; one of my favorites. The whole thing with the Travelers in the latter chapters put me off. I like the premise of Faerie Queen Jr. Taylor, and it's an interesting idea, but the execution leaves something to be desired. 3.5/5
     
  7. Iztiak

    Iztiak Heir

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2006
    Messages:
    2,733
    Location:
    India
    I missed the touch requirement, but it's irrelevant anyway. Touch 1 mover and instantly stronger than any canon cape. Said "squishy" human casually strolled into the E88 and killed a bunch of them and walked out nearly immortal. Touch Oni Lee and be able to solo the S9.

    And Sophia's ghost told her to use it, but anyone (let alone Sophia) just telling Taylor to kill someone wouldn't work, let alone become essentially a serial killer for personal power. If there was any other mental component than it was not written well.
     
  8. Cxjenious

    Cxjenious Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2005
    Messages:
    1,764
    Location:
    TN
    Well she wasn't squishy then, was she? She had powers. (How is Oni Lee's power supposed to solo the S9?)

    The ghost's personalities bleed over into her own. It's more insidious than just Sophia tellling her.
     
  9. Iztiak

    Iztiak Heir

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2006
    Messages:
    2,733
    Location:
    India
    She started with Shadow Stalker's, which is the only thing close to durability she had going in. Minus Mush's power, which she didn't ever actually use. She used Skidmark's wind field to push Hookwolf around, but that's also not durability. If she wasn't squishy then, at what point was she squishy? Before the story started?

    Right, that would be cool if that was actually in the story, but unless that was written in much farther in than I got(Or written poorly enough I didn't notice it), I don't think that's the case. It'd be a nice explanation, but I'm not going to come up with explanations for the author when they don't seem to think one is necessary.

    You can't see how someone who can kill instantly with a touch, is functionally immortal and resets all damage(Alabaster) and has the ability to teleport and create autonomous clones that last 5-10 seconds(Oni Lee) could beat the 9? She'd even have room for a third cape's powerset to throw in there.

    And hey look, I didn't want to wade any further so I clicked on the author's list of all of Taylor's current powers -
    Wow, that's a surprise, she's God. Can't see how that could have happened.
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2016
  10. Cxjenious

    Cxjenious Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2005
    Messages:
    1,764
    Location:
    TN
    You said, and I quote:

    I was pointing out that, as a squishy human, walking around and "booping" capes with a death touch is implausible. Wouldn't work, once her power became known.

    Doesn't really matter what you think. That is the case. She doesn't cotton on until she takes Tattletale's power and her and Lisa's ghost start talking. And that's a dick move, bro, insinuating that I'm making shit up for the sake of some fucking story. I'm insulted.

    Feelings matter, bruh.

    As for not noticing shit in the story...you somehow missed she had to touch people to take their power. Was that poorly written too? As early as the 3rd chapter, it's apparent the ghosts are effecting her mind. Her justification for killing the Merchants is straight from Sophia's fucked up psyche.

    You're right. With Alabaster's power AND Oni Lee's power, Taylor could effectively solo most of the S9. Except for the Siberian, and maybe Cherish, if she managed to use her power first.

    I wasn't aware that those sentences were meant to be considered together. Seemed like separate statements.
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2016
  11. Iztiak

    Iztiak Heir

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2006
    Messages:
    2,733
    Location:
    India
    Implausible/difficult to actually pull it off on them all? Yeah, that's true. Hell, maybe there's a 99% chance it'd end poorly, but that's not too much worse than canon odds. I'd even prefer a bad end to Godmode:ON from the beginning. At least a conflict could exist in that scenario without being entirely due to author fiat, like those crossover stories where both crossover elements are forced to be equal when they shouldn't be.

    I noticed she was touching them for most scenarios. I had just figured that it was a preference more than a requirement, due to how I read one of those fights. I'm not sure it's that important of a distinction, but I fixed it and replaced proximity activated with touch activated.


    At any rate, you're right, it does seem like the author did at least try and make Taylor's personality change plausible. I was wrong on that. I still have problems with it, if two weeks with Sophia was enough to turn canon Taylor into a serial killer, considering she's got the full set of S9 ghosts...

    Let's put that one aside, and say it's fine as is. And really, it could be. I could forgive this story easily if that was its only problem. You have to give me this one. Look back up at that list of powers that Taylor has again and tell me it doesn't look absolutely ridiculous.

    It looks to me like it's a step away from being the Worm equivalent of Harry being the heir of Griffindor, Slytherin, Ravenclaw, Hufflepuff, and Merlin.

    Then there's this weird swing of quality where the author degenerates from somewhat normal writing to sections like this of 99% dialogue.
    "Fire." I said.

    "Wha-oh shit." Dauntless said.

    "What is it?" Armsmaster asked.

    "Fire, down at...um..."

    "The Palanquin." I said.

    "Burnscar?" Miss Militia asked.

    "Yeah, has to be." I said.

    'Everyone, start moving to the Palan-"

    Armsmaster was cut off.

    "Interference?" Lady Photon asked.

    "No..." I said. "He was attacked."

    "This is it." Dauntless said. "They're making their move. We need to..."

    "Shit." Miss Militia said. "The PRT base is under attack."

    "What?" Lethe asked. "Why would they attack the base? There's no one there."

    "No one but Panacea." I said, looking around. "They're going after people. Faultline or one of her people, Armsmaster, Panacea..."

    "Shit, we need to get together. Regroup and..."

    I turned to look at Dauntless, whose hand was to his neck as he collapsed to the ground.

    "What the hell?" Tartarus asked.

    "Something...shit. Lethe, hide."

    I turned my attention from Tartarus to Dauntless. I swapped Aegis for Othala and touched Dauntless, giving him regeneration.

    "Did he get shot?"

    I shook my head, but a vioce chimed in before I could speak.

    "No, nothing so lethal. Just a little sleeping dart. Usually knocks people out for an hour or so. With regeneration, maybe 15 minutes?"

    I turned, seeing a small robotic spider with a screen on it's back. The person on the screen was smiling.

    "Jack Slash..."

    "Ahh, you know me already. Good." Jack said. "That saves us a bit of time. Enjoying the show so far?"

    I shook my head. "Why...?"

    "You can stay where you are, girl." Jack said. I raised an eyebrow, then nearly jumped as Lethe appeared next to me.

    "Caught me, huh? That sucks." she said.

    "It happens. Be good, and I'll leave you unharmed. Otherwise, Bonesaw loaded plenty of darts into this. Of course, I can't guarantee that all of them are non-lethal."

    "What is this, what do you..."

    "You haven't figured it out? I'm surprised. Maybe we'll need to make posters for our next recruitment drive."

    "Recruitment? So you are..." I paused, then narrowed my eyes. "Me, huh?"

    "Of course. Such an interesting power." Jack said. "But, still so reluctant to fully use it. A shame, really. But I'm confident that we can work through it."

    "I won't join." I said. "I'm not like you."

    "Well, two points. One, many people say that. I assume Armsmaster is saying the same thing to Mannequin now. Same for Panacea. Secondly, how many have you killed already? We're not so different."

    "She's nothing like you." Lethe said. "You kill for fun."

    "And she kills for power." Jack said. "But, we'll see. I understand your hesitation, Elysium. It's why we're doing things like this. A little game, to warm you up to us."

    "A game? You think...?"

    "Uh uh uh, let me finish, please." Jack said. "One little game, yes. You're too focused on heroics, and it holds you back. You could be a true force by eschewing your little morals. So, I offer you a challenge. Shatterbird has already found her candidate and spoken to them, and she does get so bored while the rest of us are having fun. She's ready to...entertain herself."

    "I'm fair, so I'll offer you two ways to delay that. One, is to find and claim her candidate."

    "I won't just..."

    "Uh uh, not finished." Jack said. "Alternatively, claim Dauntless there. Now...on our end. If you fail to accomplish either in, oh, an hour. Not only will Shatterbird attack but there will be another penalty, because you kept interrupting me. So, one life, whoever you pick, versus countless. What will you do, Elysium?"

    My mouth opened, but I couldn't manage to make words come out.

    "Better get moving." Jack said. With that, the screen went dark.

    I looked down to Dauntless, still unconscious.

    "We need to tell the others." Tartarus said.

    "We need to find Shatterbird." Lethe added.

    "We...I..."

    "Or...who could her candidate be?"

    "I...don't know."
    This... Augh. I don't think I've ever been able to continue a story that did this, it feels like torture to read.

    As a side note, I learned earlier that Alabaster's power also reverts emotional/mind effects. I don't remember that actually taking place in canon at all, but apparently Wildbow said it somewhere and the author of this story ran with it. Considering you like the story, I'll put the last bit in spoiler tags in case you want to catch up before reading my annoyance. I should have thought of that earlier, but better late than never.
    Tayor does solo the 9 without any teleporting powers. The Siberian was solved by having Taylor trigger again(???why??) and she followed a... string back to the real body. She literally just walked up behind Crawler and touched him lol, then she killed the rest of them. Oh, there were cauldron portals too.

    I'm not saying you can't enjoy this or anything, shit, half the stories I like other people probably think are trash... and are actually trash. But there are so many different things I dislike about this story that I can't enjoy it.
     
    Last edited: Dec 1, 2016
  12. Cxjenious

    Cxjenious Supreme Mugwump

    Joined:
    Aug 24, 2005
    Messages:
    1,764
    Location:
    TN
    I knew about all that, including the rather disappointing inclusion of the Travelers. I've read the entire story, start to finish - I said it was a guilty pleasure fic; I don't mind her being over powered. I like Jr. Entities.
     
    Last edited: Dec 2, 2016
  13. CleanRag

    CleanRag Groundskeeper

    Joined:
    Dec 26, 2009
    Messages:
    395
    Location:
    --> ? <--
    3/5

    The story is worth a look if you are interested in Taylor having GU's powers. You might end up hating it, but it can be a good way to spend an hour or two.

    Every time I hear someone say that Taylor is overpowered in any story I laugh a little. This Taylor's power set is top tier, but unless she is soloing Endbringers it seems a bit silly to make that statement in a setting like Worm. Until the end of the S9 arc there were plenty of capes that could kick her ass because she is only as powerful as the capes she has killed so far. All the powers in BB wouldn't be enough to deal with Eidonlon, GU, Legend, or Contessa. The real question is whether or not Taylor faces opposition that is underpowered and how well that conflict is written.

    The majority of the conflict in this story isn't solely based around combat. The two other main sources of conflict are about when and who Taylor is willing to kill, and how other heroes deal with her. How does the story deal with that conflict? Not particularly well. The stakes never seem that high, but it does maintain some tension whenever those problems come up.

    Iztiak have you fully read the story or just parts of it? Because:
    The Siberian wasn't killed because of Taylor's second trigger, it was Contessa having Doormaker drop Taylor off right next to Dr. Manton.

    Taylor didn't really solo the S9. It was her, Contessa, and Doormaker working together. She was just the only fighter there.
     
Loading...