Well the whole Narcissa bit was a little sad. I am liking the whole Harry/Bellatrix interaction, but Harry should just have a fling with Monique.

Is Ginny a half vampire? or a white-court type vampire?

 

I just re-read this one and was surprised at the volume of errors in the writing. Not so much the ones spell-check catches as lines like this:

It's much better than the first few chapters are, but even that example come from the latest 'betaed' chapter (I'm looking at you, Mr. Melton).

Maybe it's time or experience, but jon3776 (a.k.a. Phoenixgod 2000) has a style that doesn't impress me the way it used to. The descriptions are almost excessive and a lot of the sentence structure takes more effort to unravel than I usually like to expend.

Things like this:

It takes me a re-read to even follow all of the details put into the sentence.

I used to equate this kind of style as being "good" or "intelligent", which it is, but now it just feels less accessible than simpler writing. It's not bad, it's just different. I think many others here will love this stuff, I'm just not one of them.

I think the author also frequently comes down with a case of the jberns. And by that I mean he takes known canon and fanon characters and is willing to utterly destroy them in a manner that captivates readers. This latest chapter's example is undoubtedly something that will send Hermione fans into a tizzy.

Overall, this story has some brilliant scenes and tons of promise. I'm enthralled by the many doors open and new directions it could go in. 4/5 is the most I can give it though, because I have absolutely no faith at all in the author's ability to finish a story. He's got a bunch of other great starts too.

Great starts are easy. Great finishes, good finishes, or even any finish at all are the real rarity and impress me more than another great start.

 

It probably isn't what she does that people don't like, it's with whom she do it. (For what I think about it, see rant in P.S)
Every story that has a Malfoy capable of teaching something to anyone is just fail. Or it isn't, if it's to teach how to be a pathetic inbred weak-minded idiot.
Frankly, this chapter just destroy whatever enjoyment I had reading it.
I mean, come on: Creature Ginny, KnowledgeWhore Hermione, philosopher's stone, Bellatrix's angst over Neville, and a fucking (what it seem) competent Malfoy! Fail!
Before this chapter, I have to admit I was thinking the story had some merits, that it qualify for at least 3/5, 3.5/5.
But after chapter ten: 1/5.
Moreover, at one point in the chapter Nine (I know, not the one in question, but still, I have a point), Luna said something that made me see red.
[/quote]It took a moment for Luna to realize who Draco reminded her of. Harry.
He had the same sort of tired strength, the same guarded gaze that challenged the few who met it, the same power—power which he carried about him like a cloak, so old and so worn that it seemed like a part of him that he didn’t notice any longer.[/quote]

I knew that Luna was Loony, but that is just unbelievable. Draco Malfoy? That little cunt. Similar to Potter? Shit, I'm not reading this any longer.

P.S Personally, I've grown to appreciate Hermione when she's done right, and this travesty disgust and infuriate me. It's not enough she end up with Ron Weasley in canon, there's not fucking way she going to touch Malfoy if it's not to crush his skull or violate his ass with a broken broom handle.
Rant's finish.

Edit: I just saw Nonjon's post. It does make me look like a Hermione's fan no? Burg...
Anyway, sure, there are good points in this story, I did too like the Hall of 100 families. The Narcissa part were also good to read, however, my personal preference overshadow the other good things that can be glimpse throughout the story by what can only describe as an abundance of fail. -To know what I mean by fail, look entire post for reference.-

 

Bah. Hermione would felch Hagrid if doing it would get her access to Restricted Section.

Everybody knows this.

 

Dude, your giving away chapter 11.

I am always amazed at how defensive Hermione fans can be. I think what I am doing with Hermione is interesting. Its adult and not suitable for the kiddie centered Harry Potter of canon, but I think its certainly an interesting variation on the character and a tragic one at that. And I do love tragedy with my characters.

As much as I love them overcoming it.

You may get your christmas wish. In fact, I just had a brain...

Oh yeah, I love it when the ideas come.

As for Ginny, she is certainly closer to Blade than she is to Thomas but what she is isn't exactly cut and dry.

 

It certainly is interesting for Hermione to trade sex for lessons from Draco Malfoy...

But, not really interesting in a 'oh that makes sense' sort of way. Instead it's sort of like the 'Hey two homeless guys are fighting outside my house' kind of vibe.

In other words, it's entertaining if you completely turn off all and any sort of reason, logic, or rational thought. Of course watching grass grow is interesting when placed into that context....

 

Nobody seems to be taking into account the addictive nature of Dark Magic, as presented in this story, as a driver for Hermione's behavior (Bellatrix was a pretty blatant example of how removing "The Dark" could radically alter a personality).

Here's a guess: Hermione's not looking to learn about Dark Magic for knowledge's sake (although that might be how she rationalizes it), she does it because it makes her high. And she's not fucking Draco because she's attracted to him, she's doing it because she's desperate and she has nothing that he wants.

There's a reason why we call crack addicts "crack whores".

Here's another guess: Draco's not "helping" her for any other reason than he finds the thought of defiling Harry's best friend hilarious.

 

You brought up some valid and respectful criticisms that I would like to address. In regards to my writing style, the old S&S/Pulp masters are some of my favorite writers. Men like Clark Ashton Smith and Robert Howard are icons to me--though I've always found Lovecraft less than impressive he also has a hell of a way with words. In particular, Robert Howard has a way with words and description that I find amazing. I probably lapse into too-flowery a sentence structure in an attempt to emulate them. Working on my craft is part of the reason why I like fan fiction and I always strive to do better. I will consider your words and work to improve my descriptions to be less awkward. I definitely want to be accessible because I would like to be published some day.

I'm not sure what it means to jberns or if it is good or bad. I destroy canon characters (bad) but I do it to captivate my audience (which I consider to be good). How should I take this comment?

As for finishing my work, yeah, I know. I am always trying to improve on my story speed to little avail.

To everyone else, if you didn't like what happened to Hermione, consider the possibility that what is happening is not what you think is happening. Luna walked in on Draco with his shirt off and ritual implements on the floor. What if Hermione is trying to teach Draco rituals that he can't cast on his own.

Or maybe it is sex. Maybe deep down the idea that anyone may want her, even if it is degrading may soothe her in this dark night of the soul.

As for Draco, remember he has been undering much the same training/Potion regime as Harry, only with an uncaring godfather pushing him dangerously (a godfather he later kills). All of my descriptions have hyped not only his new level of power but his sickly appearance as well. Draco isn't well.

The question is, is he still going to try and assassinate Harry and is Hermione walking her friend into a trap--not whether or not the pair of them are bumping uglies.

 

Take it as an observation and compliment. In comparison to most fanfiction, where the good guys win and survive and the bad guys never get away with it, a story like this is far more a crap shoot. Bashing of 'traitors' is one thing, but to see good and bad characters mixed into shades of gray, including pain, loss, and anguish amongst the 'heroes' of the story is another thing entirely. Jbern does this masterfully, and you never know who may die, be tortured into insanity, otherwise become victimized, or turn into a psychotic mass murderer in the name of the righteous.

To many this is fantastic compelling stuff. To some of the people who read fanfiction as a hobby they may see characters they love (and "ship") degraded in ways that disgust them and make them close the story or leave an angry flame.

When I read fanfiction, I'm usually looking for escapist entertainment. I imagine myself in the place of the characters. I imagine their thoughts and feelings as portrayed by the author as well as what I would feel in the characters' situations. This is why, for me, stories with 'realism' and angst are so frustrating. WIP stories even more so because what Harry, and everyone else is so often feeling is frustration.

I like jbern's stuff but I lost interest in reading the chapters as they were written. It was because an update would come out, I'd read it and be left feeling frustrated and unhappy, because that's what the characters would be feeling then. It was very unsatisfying, especially being able to recognize it as fine writing and storytelling.

But when jbern's fics (I'm thinking of TFtCD and BitJ) were done, I finally read them through and loved them. And I'll heartily recommend them. Your fics (I'm thinking of Litany and this one, maybe the healing one with Gabby too) often come off the same way for me: unsatisfying and frustrating. But if they were finished, I could suffer and sympathize with the characters secure in the knowledge there was a light at the end of the tunnel, that we were going to get somewhere, and the questions posed throughout the story would be answered.

I think I'm in the minority on this one though. That's why it was more an observation and compliment.

 

Oh my God, yes. This describes something I've experienced a number of times, occasionally with things posted here.

Not that this applies to this story, but other fics I've read have these elaborate sentences with lots of odd word choices that are made less because they're appropriate and more for the express purpose of 'wowing' the reader with the author's prose.

In the meantime, all those 'artsy' hard to read sentences often conceal a disturbing fact; they aren't actually complete sentences and are riddled with grammatical errors. I hate that shit and I hate it even more when other people fall for it and soil their keyboards before showering the author with praises for their novel approach.

Man, if it's dark magic addiction, it hasn't been displayed very well. We saw her cast, what, one Avada Kedavra before her rendezvous with Malfoy?

Actually, that excuse doesn't wash at all. It's not like she needs a bag of coke and Draco is the only guy who has a supply. She already has everything she needs to get that dark magic high: A wand, knowledge of a powerful dark magic spell, and something to cast it on (if that last one is even really needed). Apparently there are plenty of rats around to AK, so all the bases are covered. She doesn't need Draco's knowledge for that.

Taking that into consideration, it's more likely that she's doing it in order to ensure that she will be skilled enough to keep herself and her friends alive in a fight.

Whatever her motivation, it doesn't change the fact that it is astoundingly unlikely she'd do what she did here. Ignoring how much she hates Draco, she knows he's a Voldemort sympathizer at best and an official death eater at worst (what she doesn't know is that the truth is probably even worse than that, after all, he was 'official' in HBP but he was still a wimp). So, why Draco? What happened to all those books she's so fond of? She certainly has enough skill with magic at this point to slip away somewhere and arrange to buy books on dark magic from someone. She could even try it anonymously by owl or while disguised somehow.

Instead, her first choice was to go to Draco. Just by approaching him about learning, she's given away the fact that she, and by extension, her allies, are severely lacking in knowledge of what they're fighting. By putting herself in close contact with the enemy in a situation where he has reason to use all sorts of magic that she is completely ignorant of, she has endangered herself and everyone she is fighting alongside. Finally, she's utterly and completely degraded herself as well.

So many authors think that having Hermione fuck the enemy makes her a tragic heroine and makes for good, captivating drama. First off, no. Second, when her first choice is to hand herself over to the enemy, rather than exhaust the other avenues available to her, she becomes nothing more than a short-sighted, air-headed, slag.

This Hermione is a complete dupe, not a heroine of any kind.

For more information on a similar sort of situation, please see this thread for reference. This post in particular, I think, is quite enlightening.

--
Imagine that the leader of 'Army A' has a trusted adviser. She's right there beside him all the time, so it is very important that she isn't compromised. Adviser A is also black.

The opposition, 'Terrorist Cell B', hates black people, among other things. 'Bastard B', the son of Terrorist Cell B's second in command is known to support his father's ideals and constantly espouses them in public. During every encounter he has with Adviser A, he has vehemently supported Terrorist Cell B's views and has repeatedly hurled racial epithets at her. He hates blacks, thinks they shouldn't be allowed the rights everyone else gets. Basically, as far as he's concerned, they aren't humans and shouldn't be allowed citizenship.

Now, when things are looking grim for Army A, Adviser A decides she doesn't know enough about terrorist style fighting and that the smartest thing to do would be to walk up to Bastard B and ask if he'll teach her how to do things like make improvised explosives or show her the proper way to fire an RPG. He agrees, but only if she'll have sex with him. Thus, she's compromised herself and the security of her side in about a hundred different ways.

An even shorter example: This is like if Anne Frank went to Himmler's son for advice on how to build a gas chamber.

Or if Harriet Tubman went to the grand wizard of the KKK for advice on how to tie a proper noose and burn a cross on someone's lawn?

Is that heroic or is it, in fact, retarded on an Epic scale?

You don't have to answer that.
--

Honestly, at this point, I'm disappointed enough in the character and the way she's being handled that what I'd really like to see is for Harry to find out what she's been up to, and wait until he's just passed her the toast at breakfast, to casually say, "So, Hermione, you know how wanted me to teach you how to perform 'Spell X'? I was thinking that in exchange for the lesson, I could just bend you over the table here, fuck you raw, then call it even."

Then while she's so shocked (knowing her secret is out) that her mouth is gaping as wide as her legs usually do, he Obliviates her of any speck of memory she has of the Wizarding World and sends her home to mom and dad. Because, frankly, allies with such poor judgment, who allow themselves to be so thoroughly compromised, are worse than the enemy and less than useless. After all, at least you already know you can't trust the enemy.

Harry can mourn the sad events that brought his one-time best friend to such a low state later, after he's won the war despite her near (even if ignorantly unintentional) sabotage.

At the very least, I hope she gets discovered, raked long and hard over the coals by Harry and Bellatrix to extract what she's been up to and what exactly she may have given away, then punish her in a suitable way. For instance, by reducing her role in the war to something like running the DA and taking away her access to any information about their plans.

Yes, this Hermione has had some nasty shocks that have affected her state of mind and, no doubt, her judgment, but that does not justify her taking complete and total leave of her senses; so much so that her first option is trading flesh with the enemy's newest assassin. And, as I've already pointed out, dark magic addiction isn't an excuse because she can simply get off on the AK whenever she wants.

No fucking shit.

There's also every possibility that he can use her in some way to kill Harry and/or ruin the good guys' plans. Because, under the guise of training, he can get close to her and cast shit she'd normally draw a wand on him for even thinking about, thus enabling him to do all sorts of things while her guard is down.

He could flat out kill her, which would crush morale and waste all of that training she's had.

He could kidnap her which would have the same effect and have the added bonus of forcing the good guys to put all of their effort into finding and saving her instead of what she should be doing.

He could use any number of spells or mind reading techniques to find out everything that Harry's side knows and is planning to do.

He could get her under the Imperius and send her to kill off her friends, one by one. The list goes on and, worse yet, by now Hermione should really know that all of these things are possible.

Shit, were this being written by another author, Draco would be in the perfect position to cast a few seemingly innocuous spells on her when she walks in the room, then fuck her and trigger some kind of charm to enslave her to him somehow.

Then again, I also didn't expect Hermione to be ignorant enough to fuck Draco in this story, so I guess all bets are off.

I'm going with the assumption that what we think has happened is exactly what has happened. Certainly that is what the readers are being specifically and purposely lead to believe for now, even if it turns out to not be true. That being the case, I have no problem with, nor feel any shame about, taking the conversation in that direction for further exploration.

There are only two likely possibilities which are plausible, given what we've seen. One is that they were about to have sex and Luna interrupted them. The other is that they already had sex and had to hastily clean up when Luna came to the door. Either way, Hermione is just as stupid.

As to the ritual comment, with all due respect: "Pfft, whatever." I'll throw in a "Yeah, riiiight..." for good measure.

I doubt there is any ritual she could teach him that he would see as being useful enough that he would agree to further the enemy's training in exchange for learning it. If she knew a ritual that useful, there's little chance she would still be willing to teach it to him, in trade for dark magic.

Giving an advantage to the enemy in exchange for taking one of theirs is not an advantage at all. There's no net gain. And if Draco did make this trade only to get a ho-hum ritual in return, he has suddenly become as retarded as Hermione has and should have upped his asking price.

Plus the original point that she has no reason to go to the enemy for that information as a first choice. We certainly haven't seen evidence she went elsewhere first. We also haven't seen any evidence of mounting dark magic addiction.

Which is another thing we just haven't seen enough evidence for in this fic, so if this is true, it's a wholly dissatisfying conclusion. For her to be distraught enough to fuck someone for whom she has such a high level of reciprocated hatred, just to improve her self esteem... there should have been some more signs of her heading towards such a nadir. There should have been some kind of build up. Without that, there is no drama, just a list of unsavory occurrences, like so many death toll listings in the Daily Prophet.

Showing her feeling a little sad about losing Ron (which was never a done deal) and her infertility (which probably isn't as total as suspected), then saying 'One Month Later', "Oh look, she's with Malfoy." is hardly sufficient. It's just, well, bad.

Hermione would probably spend time researching magic in regards to reproduction and fertility before she fucked Malfoy just to wallow in self-loathing. It's a heavily OOC reaction, which could be ameliorated, to some extent, if we see a build up to it, rather than have it suddenly happen.

It certainly can't be for the physical aspect, since the dark magic she's been performing has already been described as "orgasmic". Why go to someone you're utterly repulsed by when you can just cast a spell?

I'll have to disagree and say that that's exactly the point. Whether he's still going to assassinate Harry or he's decided to join an all albino kick line and invent a potion that makes you fart cotton candy-scented rainbows, Hermione would still be degrading herself and endangering herself, her friends, and their cause all in exchange for something she could have tried to learn elsewhere. And if he suddenly turns good, I will puke my guts out (along with most of DLP's forum-goers).

The fact is, an author has to set this sort of thing up properly if they're going to tackle weighty subject matter. I've espoused this view before here at DLP. If you're going to have heavy subject matter, you have to take the time to construct a strong support for it. Otherwise, the story collapses.

Few fan fiction writers seem to be capable of this and even fewer bother to do it.

(Shit, even if it wasn't 'serious subject matter', no one likes stuff happening for no reason. For instance, murder mysteries where the culprit turns out to be some douchebag who walked through the background for five seconds in an unimportant scene. No one saw it coming, sure, but that's because no one had any single reason to.)

Even with Hermione's emotional turmoil in the previous chapters, this comes out of nowhere. I'm not seeing a Hermione who has fallen far enough, who is disturbed enough, to make that trade with the enemy, if that's what actually happened (which, at the moment, is exactly what appears to have happened). It would require her to take complete and total leave of her senses, abandoning every logical thing she knows about Draco and the situation at hand.

Even an emotionally distraught Hermione wouldn't so flagrantly ignore the facts as to end up in a situation like this. She also seems to be a rather proud person and for her to do this, she must not have any pride left at all.

In my opinion, I haven't seen enough evidence for this. Maybe that's the point, given the hit-and-run way in which this scene is revealed to the reader and, if so... Blah.

---

A preemptive Quoted for Truth for everything of nonjon's I've quoted below.

And I'll inject here that, in order for it to be compelling, it has to make sense. There has to be a precedent/reason shown for a character's behavior. The more outlandish or out of character that behavior, the more you need to set it up. The build up is part of what creates a compelling situation.

Without that, it's just a carnival sideshow. Someone pulls back the curtain and says, 'Look at this shit! Isn't it weird?" and that's it, from start to finish. That's not compelling.

Totally agreed. I'll add that it's also very frustrating, when putting one's self in a character's place, if the actions make no sense.

Absolutely. Ignoring for a moment that Hermione's actions make no sense, when a story introduces angst, cliffhangers, and will-they-break-up-or-won't-they troubled romances, it's not so bad, as long as you know an update is right around the bend.

If you're left hanging for months or even years at a time, it's beyond frustrating. When there's a chance that the story will be abandoned, leaving the characters locked in a perpetual limbo of the unhappy circumstances they were left in during the previous update with no chance for a resolution... Ugh.

Not from where I'm standing.

 

Well it's hard to follow a review like that but I'll try. I don't like what he did with with Hermione, but I do find it very interesting. I can see how everyone thinks that it is unbelievable because it does kinda come from nowhere.

I think that Jon has been trying to convey how addictive the Dark Arts art by giving us numerous examples through Bellatrix. Hermione and Bellatrix were similar in that were brilliant students who got a taste of something they liked and became addicted. I believe that her emotion were already wrecked from being infertile and her belief that Ron has rejected her only helped push her over the edge.

I do agree that she needs to be found out soon. Shouldn't Bellatrix have noticed the signs already. Narcissa also has become closer with Hermione and she is a very observant and intelligent. She should have noticed, but I think that her infatuation with Harry may be distracting her a bit.

The character who will find out about it and help her(if she is going to be helped at all) will be Luna. The Luna in this story is well-written compared to most other writers and a very powerful witch. The only problem with my theory is that Luna can't read Hermione that well.

I like the story and I hope Hermione can be helped in the end. Also Warlocke gave an excellent criticism that made me re-think some things about the story. The only thing that could totally ruin this would be any descriptive sex scenes between Draco and Hermione

 

That was a lot of words, almost all of them regarding a character who could *generously* be referred to "MINOR" in this story. Not only that you blew right past the point.

ding! ding! ding! And we have a winner...

If it makes you feel better, I don't think Hermione is evil; just weak. I wouldn't hold my breath waiting for Jon to redeem her, but you probably won't be subjected to an actual sex scene between her and Draco. If the thought of Hermione getting plowed by Draco offends you ("Yeah mudblood, take it! Take it and like it!") you can pretend that she's teaching him about knitting or something...

 

Fucking shit. Thought there was an update. Hate you all.

 

This might have been the first fanfiction story I read. I remember moving on with the expectation that all fanfiction stories were of similar quality.

Lol, I was fairly off the mark.

 

You know I find it funny that some of you ignore the soul bonds, which you seem to hate. True the relationships are developing, but there is still a soulbond when they take a potion.

Face it...If it was Harry/Ginny, it would barely make it into the library.

Personally, I liked it. The story flowed well enough and there is a intresting plot. Plus it is H/Bella/Narcissa, which scores big points by the way. Also, when I first decided to read it, I had expected Dumbledore/Weasley/Heromione bashing on an epic scale. Most fic's like these tend to be that way.

Now I'm not a dresden fan, but judgeing from Shezza's fic, I would say there is a minor crossover? Or was it from somewhere else?

Any way awesome fic 4/5.

 

Christ. No update = don't post. Stop fucking with my expectations.

Though you are right Bucks: soul bonds usually equal autofail and faggery, but this is hardly as extreme as most soul bond stories make it. There's no constant mind-reading or communication or mindsex.

Well, not yet so far. If there is I'll drop this story like every other soul-bond fic.

 

Blaise, you feeling okay? I share your sentiment - but only when the post in question is a useless necropost.

This update was only a week or two ago, and is bound to stir up some discussion. I don't see the reasoning in expecting someone to announce an update and debate not stirring, particularly when the story is a decent one.

 

I know; Serpent-Sarrin's(sp?) update rate has spoiled me.

 

Not true. Not true at all.

I will readily admit that my post is firmly in tl/dr territory, but it is not a wall of text. A wall of text is devoid of timely paragraph breaks to facilitate reading. Such is not the case in my post.

Do I really give a shit? Not particularly, but calling my post a "wall of text" and then saying I missed the point falls too close to being a 'subtle dig' for me to entirely ignore, and prompted me to illustrate this distinction for you.

In short; you can't see me, but I present to you a smile and my middle finger.

Minor or not, you still can't come out of nowhere with something that is so contrary to the character's personality as we know it, without some kind of heads up, a progression of changes.

If 'normal Hermione' is point A, then 'Hermione fucking Draco for lessons on dark magic that she doesn't actually need to satisfy her addiction and which she could learn elsewhere' is point Z. We maybe, maybe, saw points A, B and Z. Holy shit, something is missing!

The thing about minor characters is that they can still fuck up a story if the ball is dropped in regards to their characterization. For instance, out of all the potentially problematic issues that this fic has (for instance, the density of the whole bad guy secret society subplot and extended Black Family stuff, which others here have mentioned) this thing with Hermione is what made me say, "Wait a sec', this isn't working."

We already have the Black sisters turning over a new leaf as a major component of this story. Fine, I can suspend my disbelief for that, but then to make Hermione into a completely different person in the span of a few paragraphs of text (because that's what was spent on her), none of which actually show this change happening, jars me out of the story because it makes no fucking sense.

I wouldn't call that missing the point. For me, that is the point.

In my mind, letting a minor character fuck up a decent story is a larger tragedy than letting the main character fuck up a story, because in the latter case, the story was doomed anyway, whereas the former case is much more easily avoided when proper care is taken.

Would I like to see Hermione disgracing herself with Draco, even if the progression had been illustrated? Not particularly. But if it had happened in a remotely logical fashion, I'd suck it up and deal with it (provided the rest of the story was good enough to outweigh the gag-inducing topic).

 

^^^

You're right, the author totally didn't develop Hermione's story line enough.

I e-mailed Jon and he told me that he had cut Hermione's scenes for length*.

Here's the scene he cut, which I think addresses most of your concerns re: characterization and development:

Hermione walked briskly down the dungeon corridor, the muted swish of her Hogwarts robes and the steady fall of her footsteps echoing softly from the stone walls. Reaching her destination, she gave a cautious glance around and after confirming that she was alone in the passageway, ducked quickly into the darkened classroom.

He was already there, perched lazily on one of the hard wooden stools and concentrating intently on the small book grasped lightly between his thin fingers. He gave no indication that he had been waiting for her, or that he had even noticed her arrival. This was part of the game, and she knew better than to interrupt him before it had played out. She waited quietly as his finger traced down the page until, with a smirk, he removed a short length of black ribbon from his lap and carefully marked his place. Gently laying the tome on the scratched surface of the desk, he looked up at Hermione and quirked an eyebrow. Breaking his gaze, she glanced down at the book, noting the runes embossed into the worn leather cover.

“I assume that there’s some reason that you’ve interrupted my study time?” Draco drawled, drawing her attention back to himself.

“I had a question about the Ritual.” She had been slowly prying the details from him since shortly after the beginning of the term when she had first seen him, had first felt the intoxicating waves of Dark Magic rolling off of him.

“I thought you might.” Was his infuriating reply.

“I finished the Secretorum you lent me,” she said, removing the volume from the deep pockets of her robe, “but it doesn’t give any indication whatsoever about the composition of the binding agent. If I do it wrong the whole ritual will be wasted. Should I use a potion? I did some research and there are several blood-based tonics that might work. I might be able to devise a runic scheme…”

Draco interrupted her. “Mudblood. I don’t come here to listen to you prattle on and I don’t particularly care to. Get to the point.”

“You said that you’d help me” Hermione said, gritting her teeth. She hated this part. “You said that you’d teach me what I needed to know, if I let you…you know…” she waved her hands self-consciously.

Draco leaned back, enjoying himself immensely. “So I did. Did I happen to mention that the Secretorum was originally published in two volumes?” he asked conversationally, with a casual wave at the book on the desk. “I think Volume Two would address a lot of your questions, but it was banned almost four hundred years ago as Dark Magic. They’re frightfully rare now, but I might let you convince me to borrow the Malfoy copy for a few days…”

He looked arrogantly at her, his words hanging in the air until Hermione’s shoulders slumped and she broke eye contact, studying the top of her black shoes.

“Okay.” She whispered.

Draco feigned deafness. “What was that? I’m sorry, I didn’t quite catch that, you’re going to have to speak up.”

“Fine. I’ll do it.” She replied a little more loudly, proud that there was only a slight tremor in her voice.

“Very well, then, get to it.”

Hermione turned, stalling, and glanced back toward the door. “Were you planning to lock the door?”

“I couldn’t care less if the entire school wanted to come in and watch. If you want to lock it, suit yourself.”

With a wave, Hermione cast the strongest locking charm she knew at the door before placing her wand carefully on the table at her side. With an inward sigh, she unfastened the clasps on her robe and let it slip from her shoulders. The robe pooled in waves around her ankles. With practiced efficiency Hermione quickly removed her shirt and bra before opening the closure on her skirt and pushing it to the floor, leaving her in naught but knickers and knee-high socks. Her nipples hardened in the chill classroom air. Divesting herself of her remaining undergarments, she threw her shoulders back and focused on a point on the back wall of the classroom, bracing herself for the ordeal to come.

Draco rose from his seat, approaching Hermione with a maddeningly slow gait. Circling the still girl, he reached out with a manicured hand and ran his fingers through the thatch between her legs. His fingertips traced along her stomach and up toward her sternum, rising up to cup her breasts. In an instant, Draco cruelly twisted a nipple. Hermione stifled a gasp. Running his hand around her shoulder, Draco traced a leisurely path down her spine before grabbing and handful of Hermione’s round bottom.

“On your knees, mudblood.”

Hermione lowered herself to the floor, her knees resting on her discarded clothing. Sitting back on her heels, she waited.

Draco moved around to face Hermione and opened his trousers. Removing his semi-erect penis, he gave a spiteful look to the girl before unleashing a torrent of urine. Hermione squeezed her eyes closed as the stream splashed across her forehead and hair before running down her naked body in warm, sticky rivulets.

When his flow had exhausted itself, Draco stepped behind Hermione and, placing his hand between her shoulder blades, pushed her forward toward the floor. Hermione fell, her cheek coming to rest in a rapidly-cooling pool of Draco’s piss.

“Reach your hands back and spread yourself.” Draco instructed.

Hermione complied, shifting her weight forward onto her head and, grasping a fleshy buttcheek in each hand, opened herself wide to Draco’s gaze.

Hermione felt Draco cast a constriction charm on her anal opening before pushing inside of her. He pushed roughly, tearing into her asshole until he bottomed out and Hermione felt his pubic hair scratching against her. Hermione felt as though somebody had shoved a football into her ass. Not caring in the slightest about her discomfort, Draco established his rhythm and before long was sawing his cock in and out of her. Hermione felt the warm weight of his balls as they slapped against her cunt with each thrust. Tears leaked from Hermione’s closed eyes as she tried in vain to ignore the stench of urine in her nose and the burning in her bottom.

With a shuddering gasp, Draco gave a final thrust and stilled. Pulling out of Hermione with a soft pop, he cast a cleaning charm and tucked himself back into his pants.

Hermione slowly rose, searching for her wand and trying to ignore the pain in her rear passage and the way that her butt cheeks slid against each other with every step. If not for magical healing and cleaning charms, she wasn’t sure that she would have been able to live with herself.

She jumped as she felt a force pushing against her locking charm. After casting a series of rapid cleaning charms on herself and her garments, Hermione quickly dressed and moved into a corner. She had barely finished casting the most powerful concealing charm she knew before the door to the classroom blew inward and Luna Lovegood strode inside.

Hermione quieted her breathing as Luna confronted Draco, terrified that the smallest sound would give her away. A trickle of semen dripped out of her, pooling in her underwear. ​

*It's not true, I made all of this up. My point stands: Who gives a shit about Hermione? Fuck that bitch.