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The Rise of Uzumaki Naruko by Dreetje - M

Discussion in 'Trash Bin' started by blablablub, Sep 3, 2009.

  1. blablablub

    blablablub First Year

    Joined:
    Jul 13, 2008
    Messages:
    26
    Location:
    Germany
    Title: The Rise of Uzumaki Naruko
    Author: Dreetje
    Rating: M
    Category: General
    DLP Category: Other Fandoms --> Naruto
    Status: WIP [Words: 42,507]
    Pairings: Naruto/Haku
    Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5051779/1/The_Rise_of_Uzumaki_Naruko
    Summary:
    Naruko finally graduated from the Shinobi Academy and now the secrets of her past are revealed. Under the guidance of her Jounin Sensei Uzuki Yuugao she starts her career as a Kunoichi of Konoha. FemNaruko/FemHaku.

    It's a good try on an femNaruto story, the idea itself and the characterization behind it, is done nicely.

    Dreetje is a good author but I can't put my finger on it he sometimes he describe things in an awkward way, but then again it could be only me that finds it awkward.

    Non the less I like this fic and the "other fandoms" section is nearly dead for awhile now.

    4/5 form me.
     
  2. Iztiak

    Iztiak Heir

    Joined:
    Dec 4, 2006
    Messages:
    2,732
    Location:
    India
    First. "Would not accept to be taught." I hate that. He/she is a ninja. Ninja's follow directions or they end up never being seen or heard from again. Especially genin ninjas. As they have absolutely no say in absolutely anything. They're useless and need to learn from anyone that is assigned to teach them or they are tossed out.

    Second, she considered her to be my little sister though she'd never talked to or met her? Seriously that's just a retarded moment.

    I just noticed the next moment as I went back to reviewing. -_-
    The writing here is just incredibly OOC. "loved her to bits" ?

    And the story is filled with stuff like this.

    Swear words, oh my! Proper and upstanding ninjas cannot bear to hear such talk.

    There's nothing wrong with it, but it seems like this would fit better in a gay awareness/education pamphlet than in a fanfiction. o_O

    Arranged for it to be ok. >_< Also, apparently in this story, even ANBU who have quit are allowed to drop by whenever they like.

    Wtf. But anyway, I realized I forgot to mention that Naruko is on a team with only Yuugao on it in this story. I don't think it's explained, it's just part of the story.

    I'm going to end the review here, it was hard enough to force myself this far.

    1/5
     
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2009
  3. Chime

    Chime Dark Lord

    Joined:
    Aug 22, 2007
    Messages:
    1,951
    It's something like this that always ends any interest in a story for me. This goes for stories in any fandom, Harry Potter and Naruto, especially. It's cousin also tends to end stories for me (abused!Protagonist).

    I mean, sure, Harry/Naruto can have loving, caring parents, especially if their presence is insigificant to the plot. But the presence of a letter explaining the motives of the dead is just bad writing. Naruto (Naruko) and the reader should be left wondering the thoughts and feelings of other characters, at least, for some small portion of the story. To assuage us that Minato and Kushina aren't evil twisted people bent on subjecting their child to agony and social stigma just shows us the author has no real interest in exploring Naruto's character. Perhaps I just can't put my feelings on this eloquently, but the presence of a letter like this in a story just destroys any potential development that could be even remotely interesting.

    What's worse? It always introduces some lame power up item. Like a will, or in this case, the family uber jutsu scrolls. I don't even need to read further to know how those will impact the story.

    The second thing that turned me off to this story was the lack of any significant change. Okay, Naurto's a girl. So what? Has anything really changed? No. The conflicts will all basically remain the same, except Naruto will be touchy-feely and have many girl-friends. Now it could deviate from this, but after skimming the first chapter (actually, I read it up until the letter and just couldn't take it anymore), I highly doubt it.

    This is a good example of bad fanfiction. I would go so far as to say it's the bane of fanfiction (if we pardon slash crackfics).
     
    Last edited: Sep 3, 2009
  4. Cruentus

    Cruentus Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Jul 25, 2006
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    1,544
    Location:
    Saturn
    Not only that but the letter smacks of insecurity and want.

    Somebody's not getting huged enough at home:awesome
     
  5. Kensington

    Kensington Denarii Host DLP Supporter

    Joined:
    Mar 11, 2008
    Messages:
    1,325
    Location:
    West Coast
    Meh, I read the first few chapters when they came out in late spring. In its defense, the story was readable compared to the vast majority of Naruto fics written.

    I was confused however as to why the author decided to pair fem!Naruto and fem!Haku. I mean...they're both guys in canon. The more I think about it the more it seems like slash-lite.

    As noted above, the story itself is sort of ridiculous. It reads like canon - except thar be lesbians here. And as exciting as lesbians are, they don't make up for shady grammar and poor plotting.

    2/5

    Even with all the criticism, this still is better than 95% of Naruto stories out there.
     
  6. ZeroTheDestroyer

    ZeroTheDestroyer Auror

    Joined:
    Nov 2, 2008
    Messages:
    666
    Location:
    I am getting there
    I am going to puke -1/5- why do all Fem!Naru fic suck ballz, and not in a good way? Does Nugar have the only good Fem!Naruto fic? Does he! thar be lesbians -I love Lesbians!
     
    Last edited: Sep 4, 2009
  7. Mercenary

    Mercenary Snake Eater

    Joined:
    Aug 10, 2006
    Messages:
    1,894
    Location:
    420blazitville
    Isnt that sad?

    I took a look at the fic.

    Everything that needed to be said has been said. so yeah...
     
  8. Demons In The Night

    Demons In The Night Chief Warlock

    Joined:
    Jan 11, 2008
    Messages:
    1,438
    Location:
    Florida
    As a fan of fem!Naruto stories, I tried reading this one awhile back and honestly I don't think I made it past the first chapter.

    It's shit. Period.

    Not even hot fem!Naruto/fem!Haku lesbian sex could make up for this abortion of a fic.
     
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