Title: The Sanctuary of the Forest
Author: An Unpoetic Recluse
Genre: Action/Adventure/Supernatural
Rating: T
Status: WIP (42K ATM)
Pairings: None so far
Suggested category: "Independent Harry"
Summary: Harry finds Dumbledore kept more from him than he had imagined by complete accident. Dumbledore then makes the mistake that drives Harry away. It is a rebelling fiction but not your average.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3176546/1/

I've been following this for some time; it tethered from average to pretty good, but only with its 6th chapter did it convince me it's worth recommending on DLP.

Like the summary says, this starts like an average post-OOTP Indy!Harry story. Thankfully, it quickly derails from this clichéd path when Harry escapes into the forbidden forest and... well, things turn a bit weird from there.

There's stupid Remus-the-father-figure crap, then de-aging and quick re-growth, instant animagus training, strange mentor-like pet, half-goddess, pranking shit etc... Now, most of this is rather unusual and well written, but be mindful that unusual DOES NOT equals 'good'. In fact, most of these ideas left me more or less indifferent, while some outright got on my nerves.

But anyway, once Harry reaches Hogwarts, this stabilizes into a rather straightforward 6th year fic; vampire DADA teachers, slight Ron & Dumbledore bashing, Voldemort's plots, training etc... All pretty good for a light reading. Add to that rather encouraging author notes about future development of this story and constant update rate, and you get one solid, if a bit unorthodox Indy!Harry fic.

3.8/5

 

Okay, this wasn't too too bad, but just a few issues I have to point out.

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SPOILER ALERT!
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1. What the hell is with the spelling and grammar? Getting a beta surely can't be too difficult.

2. You'd think that after the Occlumency lesson, Snape would have gone crying to Dumbledore, "Oh, he's invaded my mind, he's invaded my mind!". But then again, he could have tried to preserve what little honour he had.

In either case, Dumbledore would have been a little more prepared for the oncoming assault of Harry's "wild magics". That's not to say Harry wouldn't have punched through, that's to say that Harry wouldn't have punched through so easily.

3. Wow! Instant Meatmorphmagus! Why hasn't the whole country decided to squint and think what they might look like with longer hair?

4. You'd think that Figg would have been told to watch Harry 24/7, and therefore, not allowed out of her house.

5. If Dumbledore's blocked his powers and/or talents... how in God's name does Harry get them back so quickly?

...therefore, I bestow upon thee, a 3/5!

So do I. What's for lunch?

 

Tons of plot holes, everyone's out of character, stupid OC's - Lady of the wood? Get real, bin this.

 

This needs a beta VERY BAD. Lots of spelling errors. There were also quite a few misplaced words that im sure are the effect of a computer spell check gone bad. I was able to figure out what the words should have been by the context of the sentence, but me having to do this in the first place is a bad sign. Furthermore the writing just didnt seem to flow well. Writing was rather choppy in some places, and i found my self needing to re-read many sentences.

First major scene I have a problem with is Harry's first confrontation with Dumbledore. The sudden unlocking on his "mind reader" abilities was out of place. One would think they get unlocked when hes brutally mind raped by Snape, or possessed by Voldemort in the DOM. Also being completely untrained in using these mind arts i find it unlikely he was able to stay in Dumbledores head so long.

Second, i just didn't see a real reason for half the blocks and crap on Harry. For instance the power blocks. I could see possibly doing it for accidental magic at a young age, but leaving them there when hes older? What purpose does this serve Dumbledore to purposely hinder Harry's abilities. Especially when said blocks were actually damaging to his magic as "Forest" tells us. Mind arts block i could possibly see, if it had not been for the fact they tried to train Harry the year prior in this. And metamorphagus, why block an ability that gives Harry a HUGE advantage at hiding himself, when Dumbledores the one stressing he needs all the protection he can get.

Could these abilities possibly been waved in front of Harry's face like a juicy steak by Dumbledore to get Harry to do something? Of course, but naturally we have a retarded Dumbledore which leads me to the second major complaint. Dumbledores stupid, not to mention OOC. The author somehow tries to make him out as a controlling manipulator, yet I see no manipulating. I see blunt half baked irrational actions that hurt his cause. And not only that but we have a supposed control freak manipulator who damn nearly completely lets Harry off the hook for running away, and makes no good efforts to find out what happened and how he did it. The only consequence we get is a "We'll be having for talks in the future" line.

The next crappy scene is the Forest and black horse thing introduction. Harry trusts them WAY to fast. Not only did he just escape from a controlling environment as is probably rather extremely untrusting, but these are weird magical beasts and some weird freaky looking forest lady. Thats like me agreeing to have tea with a complete stranger in black clothing playing with a exotic looking knife, meanwhile he has a crazy grin on his face that would make Bellatrix proud. And lets not even get started on Remus instantly running to Harry's side and denouncing the Order. I nearly gaged.

Now I almost was willing to let the bad start to the story slide as i was hoping the lady who trained the founders would smack some smarts into Harry. Unfortuantly all we get after this "training" is a still very childish Harry, who can makes little plants grow around people feet. The animagus form was pretty cool, however it was completely ruined for me when he lost his temper and control like a little 10 year old girl and flew out the window from his duel with the teacher. The entire element of surprise and myteriousness around the creature was smashed in this scene, not to mention this bird thats never been captured is brought down by stunners. I have no problem with weak normal animagus forms as thats what they should be to begin with, but if you make a creature out to be some super cool mythical beast, then give it some damn backbone.

On top of that, Harry is suposed to be some super powerful wizard without these blocks now, but i really haven't seen any kind of display of said power. I realize he didnt have long to train, but if your under the person who trained the founders for the summer and you have immense potential and power, then i expect at least something. He had a couple cool little spells, but it just felt like his dueling form and ability hasnt changed at all. To me it feels like the time spent in the forest was nothing more than a way to pass the summer, where he will come back to school and learn like any other normal kid.

The vampire professor i could deal with. The little assistant wasn't so bad either, although i highly doubt Dumbledore would let her in to "be around normal people again". The way Harry dealt with them though was so stupid. If someone grabs your arm and slices skin open with their nails i fully expect you to slam a reducto straight to their face, especially if your now some powerful wizard that can turn into a bird and zap people to death. Unfortuantly he runs away down the hall like a little girl.

I have quite a few other things i could write about, but i find myself rather tired and ima go crash.

Overall- 1/5 Bin it

 

I started to read the story when the second or third chapter was published but I dropped it soon. The points IP82 mentions in his introduction, especially the instant animagus, annoyed me too much. Now I looked into the story again and saw spelling errors like Professor MacGonagle. Did he even read the books?