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WIP The Second String by Eider Down - M

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by sildet, Oct 6, 2018.

  1. sildet

    sildet Third Year

    Apr 10, 2015
    Title: [The Second String]
    Author: [Eider Down]
    Rating: [M]
    Genre: [Drama]
    Status: [WIP]
    Library Category: [AU]
    Pairings: [None so far]
    Summary: [Everyone knows Dementors can take souls, but nothing says that they have to keep them. After the Dementor attack in Little Whinging ends disastrously, Harry must find a place for himself in the past, fighting a different sort of war against the nascent Voldemort. A new perspective on the 1970s time travel genre. Updates weekly on Saturdays. Some slash much later..]
    Link: [https://www.fanfiction.net/s/13010260/13/The-Second-String ]

    I figured I'd post this here. I'm enjoying it enough that I almost put it up for review, but I thought a more regular poster/better writer could decide to do so once the story gets a bit further in. Harry is a little OOC at times, but he gets better as the story goes on. This fic also updates every Saturday. The technical writing seems good too. I'll give it a 4/5 for now.

    Harry is whisked back in time and has to pretend to be a squib. Abelforth takes him in. It's an interesting glimpse into the treatment of squibs etc. And Harry does eventually continue his magical education for those who are turned away by his initial squibiness. I'm enjoying the author's OCs and different looks at cannon characters through the eyes of a squib.
    Last edited: Oct 6, 2018
  2. Shouldabeenadog

    Shouldabeenadog Auror

    Sep 3, 2010
    Albus dumbledore is so cartoonish he would fit in a Rocky and Bulwinkle cartoo. He reminds me most of Boris with his over the top idiocy.

    Better titled as Harry Potter the squib, it does a good job of exploring hogs head and more of hogsmeade.

    I caught up to it, and I have no interest in finishing it. Harry the sanctimonious squib is fine, but I can't read an expected 400k words of it.

  3. Lord_Revan

    Lord_Revan Squib

    Sep 26, 2016
    High Score:
    Well the writer is certainly above the average of the usual crowd as far as the mechanics of the writing are concerned but that barely hides a tangled mess of cliches. Horrible Dumbledore portray is one thing but Harry is absolutely unbearable to read. It fits very well to the shitty Hurt/Comfort genre over at fanfiction and I think that is damning enough for a fic.

    I don't mind the contrived reasons for squib thing either, there might be some stuff to explore there. But when you make your main character fill almost checklist for a emo teenager that has the emotional spectrum up to eleven and cycles through all of them in every scene, everything else loses its luster.