I've read up to chapter 34.

Really shoehorned in that narrative of systemic class oppression. There's many other ways to disguise Harry that don't involve him being a squib, but I guess this was very deliberate because it makes for a great set-up for Harry to have someone comfort him.

Which I guess is what puts me/people off about.

Everything, including the adventure elements, is secondary to the hurt/comfort shit. Harry's pretending to be a squib and doing the Into the Wild shit. I guess maybe it's better than a ring-activated glamour from Knockturn or the flipping goblins.

Whether it's Aberforth or Gideon, they all exist only in relation to Harry. If you remove that, they feel very paper thin, which isn't an issue if there's a lot of interesting plot or character development Harry-wise, but that never really happens. That was never the intended payoff, that stuff is always just the "bare minimum to keep the plot moving."

Yep, a bunch of OCs, many with canon names, that aren't very memorable. With that said, the Myrtle v/s Hornby thing was nicely done, although Myrtle herself was a bit much...

All of the stuff that happened, like the traveling and the Nines, technically served a purpose. But it's clear the author spent a lot more time with Arc 1 and maybe it's because the Aberforth-Harry relationship and squib storyline, with all the slice of life filler stuff, are the most important for him.

Every other plot line sort of falls flat, in that they're just sort of there to justify something. Ok, here's a few chapters of Harry travelling. He'll grieve, think about sex, and train with a bunch of pirates. Here's him being sneaky with the pirates. Oh did you hear? He ran through the streets, drunk and naked, with pimps on his heel. Omg so funny, let's talk about it for another thousand words. Here's a few scenes of Harry and Gideon being cute, oh look the Marauders are bullies and Snape is still a weirdo, but never forget, all of this just unnecessary. I mean, we did spend a whole long arc justifying why Harry isn't going to interact with people he knows. So, Harry in the past is all about how Aberforth Dumbledore and Harry No Surname save each other.

The other arcs feel rushed in comparison, and like they're just stand-ins. A lot of stuff happens that some good editing would've taken of. For e.g: it seems the author assumes zero awareness of the fandom from readers, so Harry spends a lot of time agonising over "messing up the timeline", being confused and grieving (versus being proactive) and "training".

This the opposite of indy!Harry in spirit, even if in practice it does hit many of the marks of the genre. This feels like it was written by a Starfox-type who didn't want another story about how Hermione is awesome.

So I guess that's a 3/5 for me. In spite of all the fucky stuff, this was still fun. I've read most of this within the last week, but I also haven't really read any HP in a while, and I'm also considering catching up with PoS, so maybe take that with a dash of salt.

Edit:

This take on immortal Voldemort was interesting though. Don't think I've seen that done before, although the last slash story I read also featured a creature!Voldemort.

 

I agree with most of the criticism people have posted... about the first act.

The second part of the story (from ch 24 onwards) is a convincing 5/5 for me. Why?

- the writing is superb, on par with the best I've seen not only in fanfiction: full of clever expressions and evocative descriptions

- Harry is very true to his canon characterization, just with a different upbringing throughout his teenage years. IMO, Aberfoth's influence actually resulted in a more enjoyable MC to follow. But the cornerstones of his personality are all still there. (I don't normally read slash but here, it's such a minor change that it doesn't distract me - the author said that he's gay and wouldn't know how to write a het relationship.)

- Harry's and Dumbledore's dynamic: from a truly horrible start, they ended up being equal partners in the efforts of the war. Harry's well aware he has only a pitiful amount of experience and knowledge behind his belt compared to Dumbledore, but he still stands his ground as Aberfoth showed him. Their conversations are my favourite part of the story.

- original plot - Harry's now making a difference, we're in an AU indeed. The story had been fully written before the author started publishing, and it shows: no plotholes that I've noticed, character's decisions make sense, and we're clearly moving forward towards a conclusion. (only 5 more chapters left to be published, I think)​

But yeah, none of this applies to the first twenty chapters. I can easily see why readers would give up. Actually, still don't understand what made me persevere.

All in all, I actually do recommend this story. Here's a short manual on how to read it:

- either skim heavily through the first 23 chapters, or skip them altogether,
- yep, you'll be confused for a bit but you'll find your bearing soon enough,
- don't worry about the many OC - they're just barflies in the Hog's Head, mostly cannon fodder for the many casualties of the war - things get real in this story.​

The first half obviously brings my rating down. But only to 4/5 - because I'm that excited about the rest.