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Oneshot The Sorting Hat Is Evil by Bernie Laraemie - T - One Shot

Discussion in 'Almost Recommended' started by Vengashii, Aug 18, 2007.

  1. nonjon

    nonjon Alumni Retired Staff

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    That's probably more JKR's fault than yours. The idea that he's remembered at all bugs me, let alone remembered fondly and on the wall of all the distinguished and noteworthy Headmasters.

    It'd be like if my wife had the name of the man who raped her tattooed on her ass. That's my general impression when I think of a portrait of Severus on the wall with the other Headmasters.
     
  2. Kinser

    Kinser Fourth Year

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    Ya Know...I have a not so secret guilty pleasure for slash if its written well. But this was absolute shit. It was fucking terrible. This author took a good concept--IE the Sorting Hat is a powerful influence on Wizarding Society and can make or break one's destiny or whatnot...and totaly fucking ruined it.


    I'm taking Three points for that. Seriously if there is a plot there write the fucking plot!


    MPreg... minus an other three points.


    I could go on...but this already hits the FAIL/5 category.
     
  3. Another Empty Frame

    Another Empty Frame Fake Flamingo DLP Supporter

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    You must not have understood that the whole point here was to lambaste slash in any way possible... it was..

    This was still a shit humorfic however, 1/5.
     
  4. T3t

    T3t Purple Beast of DLP ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    The part he quoted was the best part of the fic, too.
     
  5. Another Empty Frame

    Another Empty Frame Fake Flamingo DLP Supporter

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    hell yeah I actually loved that part, it was one of the only ones that made me laugh.
     
  6. Kinser

    Kinser Fourth Year

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    Oh silly me, I did not realize that we at DLP were so lame as to focus on lambasting only one type of usually horrible drivel.:rolleyes:

    Considering that 90% of all HP fanfic is horrible drivel, we have no shortage of it to lambaste. Why stick to only one specific type? That doesn't sound very well rounded diet to me.

    Just saying...

    Anyway, I stand by my rating of Fail/5.

    --

    T3t. I'm going to have to disagree with you there. There was no best part to this fic. None what so ever. The whole thing was fucking terrible from start to finish and I wish putting drivel on FFN was illegal--oh wait, that would mean FFN would cease to exist. Never-mind.
     
  7. Bill Door

    Bill Door The Chosen One DLP Supporter

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    I don't see what you're making such a fuss about. Don't get me wrong, it's not good, and it certainly isn't library worthy, bit it's not that bad. The fact that it's written in a language recognisable as english makes it a step above most slash/mpreg fics, and there's alos the fact that it's a parody and as such isn't meant to have a plot.

    No, the point of DLP isn't to lambast slash, the point of this fic however is.

    2/5
     
  8. Kinser

    Kinser Fourth Year

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    Bill Door,

    1. I would argue that it is not a parody. It isn't satiric as that would imply a whole load of development more than it had. It isn't ironic. I hope I don't have to define irony. It isn't humorous, and given the fact that most mpreg slash is written by retarded 12 year old girls who don't understand the mechanics of mammalian anatomy and gay sex much less English grammar, it certainly is not imitation.

    2. If the point was to lambaste next gen slash, then it might have required more development. In fact next-gen anything has to have some development to not receive an automatic fail/5.

    So I must conclude that either Gambit did not understand that this could not be a parody either because he does not understand what a parody actually is--or well some other reason that will remain unnamed--or I have to conclude that he must have been saying the point of DLP is to lambaste only slash.

    The latter is the reason for the fuss.

    ETA: Also in point one, it is neither mocking the canon or a specific work of fanfic as well failing to meet the definition of parody.
     
  9. Bill Door

    Bill Door The Chosen One DLP Supporter

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    I never said it was a good parody, it was however clearly intended to be one. It is an imitative work created to mock, and judging by the genre being humour it was intended to be humorous, even if it did not succeed.
     
  10. Kinser

    Kinser Fourth Year

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    I might agree with you that it may have intended to be humorous. And it certainly failed at that.

    However, I must certainly disagree with you that it was a parody, even if your argument is that it is a parody of the whole genre. For it to actually succeed at that it should have the following format:

    1. Chapter 1: ASP and SM meet up at some point.
    2. Chapter 2-4: Some how become friends.
    3. Chapter 5-X: poorly written smut that was obviously written by a 12 y/o girl who is a virgin and never even seen a penis.
    4. Chapter X+1 - X+5 (or so): long detailed mpreg crap
    5. Chapter X+6 and forward: Whatever happens due to slash/mpreg etc.

    Also it needs to stop halfway through this arch.

    As such, it is not a parody of the genre. Its someone's plot-bunny pellet at most.
     
  11. Bill Door

    Bill Door The Chosen One DLP Supporter

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    Well it did follow that format, it just went for the cliff notes version. And honest;y, I'm glad it did it in 1k words rather than 50k. And your argument is that it isn't a parody because it was not executed correctly, that just makes it a bad parody it doesn't change the fact that it is a parody.

    Hmm, I just realised that I'm defending a shitty mpreg fic, I should stop now.
     
  12. Kinser

    Kinser Fourth Year

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    The poor execution precludes it from being a parody. Because of the other factors necessary in order to be a parody such as humor, satire, irony to name a few. A Cliff's Notes verison of a parody is not the same thing as a parody. Just like the Cliff's Notes version of Don Quixote is not the same as actually reading said book.

    And yes you should stop defending a shitty mpreg fic.
     
  13. Another Empty Frame

    Another Empty Frame Fake Flamingo DLP Supporter

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    This is like calling something that parodies Indy!fics or WrongBWL!fics poorly an actual fic of that genre. This isn't an mpreg fic, and it's not a slash fic, it's just crack.

    DLP should always defend shitty crackfics as long as we acknowledge that it's shit.
     
  14. Kinser

    Kinser Fourth Year

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    Not quite. Either something is a parody or it is not. An actual parody would have at the very least limited humor and irony if not full blown satire. This completely lacked that and as such cannot be a parody.

    It is certainly crack. But I'm not sure thats a DLP category--perhaps it should be.

    I disagree. DLP should throughly criticize, make fun of and defecate all over crackfic. We should never defend it. Also being shit is one of the criteria of being crackfic.

    I've yet to see a crackfic that wasn't shit.
     
  15. Another Empty Frame

    Another Empty Frame Fake Flamingo DLP Supporter

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    Oswald the Ottoman, it's in the fucking C2, now shut your whore mouth and go back to reviewing Neglected Stories that are in the Recycling bin anyways.
     
  16. tad2103

    tad2103 First Year

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    This was poorly executed, humorless, and absolute shit. 1/5
     
  17. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    Yeah, this thread obviously needed to be revived. Alex_malfoi, just use your brain.

    Thirty H's and Harry Potter and the Most Electrifying Man are the only two good crackfics in my book.
     
  18. Another Empty Frame

    Another Empty Frame Fake Flamingo DLP Supporter

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    Oh man, I fucking love Thirty H's, I still say Oswald is good, and Electrifying I just treat as an AU because it's even better that way.

    But seriously Alex be more objective about the whole parody thing. I know you like slash, but this is pretty clearly a parody of lots of things that happen in slash even if they don't happen in NextGen slash (how is that at all separate anyways? not like there are new ways to bugger people in the future).
     
  19. Dark Minion

    Dark Minion Bright Henchman DLP Supporter Retired Staff

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    ... I think all is said concerning the quality of this thing and its value as comedy, parody or crack.

    To allow my statement to settle in, I'll keep this thread locked for a few days.
     
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