Title: The Stance of a Warrior
Author: F77
Rating: T
Genre: Action/Adventure
Pairings: None
Status: WIP
Summary: Harry evaded capture by the corrupt Minister's forces in a fit of good luck, but how long would he last on the run against the full might of Lord Voldemort backing up the Ministry of Magic? Post-GoF
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/3008357/1/

My story has two chapters so far, and I am planning about 2500 words per chapter. In this fic, Harry won't go to Azkaban, but two major forces are seeking to put him there.

 

The characters seems a little too OOC. I just can't see Harry using the Imperius Curse that easily with no practice. Likewise, Dumbledore was only made Headmaster after Tom Riddle left Hogwarts in 1945, according to HBP. Not the 100 years you claim.

 

Like I said in my reviews, the story has a good plotline, but you just don't write it well. Something about the tone/mood/atmosphere of the story just seems off to me. It just doesn't seem like you write naturally. Your writing just doesn't flow.

 

Hopefully my third chapter seems better, just updated.

What can I do to help with the flow?

 

Flow was better...but everything happened too fast. You should use scene breaks, or set dates for each new scene if you are going to write at the pace of the end of the last chapter. I could tell time elapsed, but I couldn't tell how much...

Anyways, how utterly convenient that Dumbledore told Sirius about the prophecy in the middle of a crowded city where he could be easily overheard.

 

It was five am in a park...

Scene breaks? What are those?

My story has a couple of plot holes, but right now I am concentrating on just completing it, then I will go back and rewrite the story.

As much as I try I can't seem to slow the pace down. Maybe I need more description?

 

the best way to slow the pace down is use a lot of description and dialogue, usually means longer chapters. Dont rush into the plot, take your time. Have events play out slow. Not everything should be instant.

Scene breaks are things like lines that you add to show that its a new scene. You can attach these in the Document Manager using edit and click the Line button near the bold button.

You have ideas, but you need to outline your plot and slowly get into it. Writing takes practice, not everyone is a natural.

 

Make your dialogue more realistic. It's seems like you use dialogue to spew information about the story instead of just letting it flow naturally.

 

The trouble with my writing in my opinion is my dialogue. Any tips on how to make it flow naturally? Yes, I do have a whole bunch of ideas in my head that I want to try, but I need to slow down, like Myst said. So I am going to take an hour or so to map out my story outline.

This is my first fic, and I want to do a good job on it. Please help me out.

 

Read books. Think about your own conversations. Watch TV. You know how people talk normally, why make it any different in fan fiction?

 

The best way is to take a look at the characters personality, and how he/she would react in the situation he/she is currently at.

It also helps to write it like two people are talking. Like Illusive said, Watch TV, pay attention to conversations you have in real-life.

 

Listen to everyones advice here, but here is what I think the most important advice is. Right for your own entertainment and to make yourself happy. If your happy with your work but everyone else hates it fuck them and keep on writing until you finish it or you don't like it anymore.

 

good advice words to live by right for you fuck what others think

 

What?

Anyway; writing for your own enjoyment is good and all, but what's the point if nobody else enjoys it, you'd have no reason to post it on a Fanfic host. Listen to the advice people give and try to incorporate it into your story.

EDIT: You know, I think I just bumped this, I can't even remember how far down the list this thread was. Silly me.

 

Not much of a bump, but check this out:

f77
Banstick Recipient

That means that he's most likely not here at the moment, and will most likely not come back, unless he's a cupentard. Oh, and I'm assuming that this:

Means this:

 

Hnnh. Considering how I keep seeing SLASH SUCKS I was under the impression that you get banned for a short amount of time and then it gets taken off, but you still have the 'Banstick Recipient'.

 

Well, SLASH SUCKS might have only gotten a temporary ban, there are two kinds, y'know. But f77 is definitely a permanent ban recipient. For sure. There's no doubt in my mind.