Announcing Chapter II: In Absentia (contaiining 100% of your daily protein intake) and at 6,300 words.

There. Now no one can accuse me of making chapters too short.

I did overshoot my estimate for the updating date, but appreciate the fact that I posted it late out of CONSIDERATION for YOU. I decided to wait a few days after Christmas so that you could bask in the holiday joy without the slightest risk of it being spoiled. THEN, I decided to take another week or so after New Year.

It is NOT because I could not write quickly enough. That is a possibility as unlikely as it is ridiculous. :awesome

 

Pedophilia ? A crime punishable by law?

Pfeh.

I still dunno what to really expect with this fix, but your engaging writing style is worth 5 stars IMO. It may be a product of how I'm interpreting the story, but the Harry in this story comes across more like Sirius than his own person...maybe it's the Azkaban, raspy voice, and laughing bouts. Also,

Spoiler

the removal of the Dark Mark

was borderline rage-worthy, but in the context of the story, it works. Especially as it was preceded by

Spoiler

the return of his wand. So often will an author take the wandless magic route, but your description of how overjoyed he was to get his wand back was just how I'd imagine an Azkaban inmate would act upon reunion with his wand (and therefore the thing that makes him a wizard).

4/5

 

Sounds fair.

I made the trial a joke, inspired by Monty Python (the list of people Harry killed are rectors, which included John Cleese, of a university). I really have no idea if any of the crimes are actually punishable by law. The potential for humor was too irresistible.

Spoiler

I just made the Dark Mark removal something a Parseltongue might be able to do, and Harry really wanted to one-up Draco. Your rage might have partially stemmed from the fact that usually Harry redeems every Death Eaters and wipes Dark Marks off left and right, something this Harry has minimal interest in.

And yeah, I definitely wanted there to be some parallelisms between Harry and Sirius, except that Harry is halfway deranged long before his trial, due to his petty atrocities.

The next chapter should crystallize everything in terms of general plot direction, what you should expect, etc. I meant to include a few more scenes in Chapter II, but I got stuck, and it seemed silly to wait on a few hundred words. The good thing is that I have 2,000 words up on it.

Thanks for the review Blaise.

I understand. Only sometimes though! That is a really elegant answer.

 

This might be the first time in my experience a longer chapter killed rather than stimulated interest.

Just saying, I revised the descriptions of the cell and the prison in the beginnings of the prologue and second chapters to give Azkaban more depth, and to more highlight the Dante inspiration.

 

Question. I don't understand what's up with the poison? Is he really slipped a poison or does it just illustrate the (maybe rightful) paranoia that a former prisoner would exhibit? Is he slipped a poison that only a Parselmouth can activate?

 

He's slipped a poison only a Parseltongue can detect.

and deactivate.

His reasoning is that he pretends to be unaware, and when someone tries to trick him into saying the trigger-word and is surprised, Harry bitch-slaps him.

 

I like this story a lot, but it's too mysterious for me to review. The ensuing series of revelations will determine if the buildup was worth it or not.

 

Story seems to have disappeared. Anyone know why?

 

Because, Alexx, it's a story from 2009 on FFN. It could have been purged, it could have been reported, any number of things could have happened.

Hell, maybe the author, and I could just be talking crazy here, removed it themselves. These are common occurrences with fanfiction, and you'd think that someone who constantly reads and complains about FF from 200 fucking 5 would know about it.

 

I actually had read the fic a few days before I found it removed.

 

What crawled up your ass and died?

 

You need to read more of Alexx's posts to understand.

 

Is there another link for this story then or was it all completely removed? I thought it sounded like a decent read, thanks in no small part to it being written by someone from here.

 

https://dl.dropboxusercontent.com/u/28109838/The Strangergod (739).zip

My copy of the DLP library is all HTML unfortunately, but you can convert it to your format of choice with Calibre. 80% sure this is the right one, since Andro kept changing his name.