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Complete The Substitute by: BaJaB K+

Discussion in 'General Fics' started by Agnostics Puppet, Nov 10, 2008.

  1. QuaziJoe

    QuaziJoe Dolphin Boy

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    Baja is pretty awesome as an author.

    He always ends up surprising me.

    And I was very pleased that he skipped over so much time. Otherwise it would have failed easily with all the siblings and parental issues.

    And the ending of the latest chapter was awesome. had me enthralled.

    Can't wait till the update.
     
  2. Portus

    Portus Heir

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    I completely missed the typo there; you know how our brains just auto-correct for things we think we know...

    The moniker for HWTMNBEP was damn good.
     
  3. Galleon

    Galleon DA Member

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    It's over...

    but I wouldn't say that this is my favorite ending - Original as it may be.
     
  4. Perspicacity

    Perspicacity Destroyer of Worlds ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter

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    I found it poetic and evocative, but then I'm a sucker for this kind of story.
     
  5. scaryisntit

    scaryisntit Death Eater

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    I'm with you on this. I thoroughly enjoyed that ending. Although most of us love the happy ending, this ending leaves a greater impact on me, and I imagine most readers too.

    Overall, I'd give this a 4.5/5. Bits and pieces could've been fleshed out more, but as is, it's a great short story.
     
  6. Andro

    Andro Master of Death DLP Supporter

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    That ending was something else - poignant and worthy of Harry. He proved himself and won the eternal glory - screw the reactions of everyone else. The summoning charm on the Cup served as a harsh and brilliant counterpoint to canon.

    Much better than the ending of Fugitives of Azkaban, with offered no closure whatsoever.

    4/5.
     
    Last edited: Dec 17, 2008
  7. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

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    I thought this was lame. Definitely did not have to end the way that it did.

    On the flipside, I couldn't see how the story could go further, but I hadn't been able to do that from the beginning. I figured BajaB would be talented enough to flush out a plot that I hadn't pictured. But as soon as the portkey issue surfaced, it got predictable and disappointing.
     
  8. mathiasgranger

    mathiasgranger Slug Club Member

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    Yeah the end really didn't make any sense when placed under the lens of the prior 5 chapters.

    Twist endings are really only good when they make sense in hindsight, this one doesn't fit that bill.

    Sort of like The 6th Sense, where the first time you watch it, you ignore the obvious signs before the end. This ending had none of that, and while glory could be evoked for his end, it seemed like a grand waste of time.
     
  9. Galleon

    Galleon DA Member

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    That was the only part about the end I liked. Hell, the originality of the story plot was the reason I read it. But what purpose did the end have?

    Golem Harry lives the horrible life, gets condemned/persecuted, never even becomes as good as Real Harry and then...
    dies?

    That's like saving up for your dream car, waiting forever to get it, polishing it up, and then running it over with a tank. There's no purpose in it whatsoever.

    The same ends in this story could have been met some other way.

    4/5 for a well-written original beginning. 1/5 for a failed end.
     
  10. Anme

    Anme Professor

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    I might not have liked the ending as much as the rest of the story but I still liked it and the story was great.

    It's original, complete and nicely written.

    4,5/5
     
  11. QuaziJoe

    QuaziJoe Dolphin Boy

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    I liked the ending... I'm a sucker for tragedies.

    Frankly I can understand harry's perspective under that situation. I found his choice reminicent of him fighting voldemort in the graveyard. He knew he had no chance but he did it anyway.

    He was defiant to the end.

    With the ministry and society hating me, and taking away every aspect of my life... to finally get something out of my painful and undignified death. I would say screw it and grab the cup too.

    This golem harry is already more kick ass than most incarnations of harry I've read. Including cannon but thats not to hard.

    I saw this coming as well but it was still satisfying for me.

    4.5/5

    only because the sibling plot was so cliche I almost gave up on the story.
     
  12. Blaise

    Blaise Golden Patronus

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    In any other story we'd associate this with Emo nonsense. The only difference is that he blew himself up instead of cutting.

    Baja was going for Maximus the Spaniard, but ended up with an hero.
     
  13. DarthBill

    DarthBill The Chosen One

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    The only reason he blew himself up is because he was about to get eaten alive. He was just saving himself the agony; as well as winning the tournament and causing a giant explosion. Not emo.
     
  14. Dirk Diggory

    Dirk Diggory Seventh Year

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    I wouldn't say he "won the tournament" considering he just went around portkeying people away and warning them about Death Eaters. In fact, considering he essentially committed suicide to save Real Harry, the end is just him managing to get shit on one more time on the way to the afterlife. An hero indeed.

    Not sure why I kept reading this, it was clearly annoying after the first several chapters of Irrational Harry Torture Angst. I was hoping the twist would be him sticking it to the bigoted society and shitbag Potters that shunned him while he had margarita shooters in Tahiti and let Voldemort rape Britain.
     
  15. QuaziJoe

    QuaziJoe Dolphin Boy

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    I would have agreed with u if the kids were the standard pompous dolts in the normal cliche sibling stories, but they were all supportive of him till the end.

    To stick it to their parents no matter how douchey they may be would just leave harry conflicted over hurting them and bring the story down the angst emo road again.

    Example, real harry never called golem harry a coward or degraded him when he believed he fled. He just did what he had to do.

    Though I kind of wish I saw more from lilly and james perpective, and saw what the hell sirus was thinking. He and remus disapointed me in this story. I don't think baja got that right.

    But then again Baja had a goal to show the trajic and defiant death of Golem harry and he succeded. Anything more would have just complicated the story and lowered its quality.

    Tiss why he's one of my favorite authors.

    I think if the parents never had more kids and it was just harry, for get the siblings, then that would have really made this Story epic then.
     
  16. Portus

    Portus Heir

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    I disagree. He won the tournament as much as did Harry in canon, who if you recall was helped immensely by Crouch/Moody. Golem Harry died saving others; what could be more "heroic" than that?

    I'd say poignant is fitting. He was faced with an unwinnable situation and chose to go out on his own terms.

    That's a good way to put it. He died standing up.

    Personally, I hoped this would continue through to Voldemort's defeat, but couldn't see how Golem Harry could be saved from the Ministry. Also, the shades and hints of Harry/Hermione made me think the story would continue, simply because there was some aspect of... attraction? I don't think I've seen a H/Hr pairing from BajaB before, but it made me expect Golem Harry to live, at least.

    Great job, BajaB, and thanks for your work. I loved "Forgotten" and "The Price of Knowledge" as well.
     
  17. Agnostics Puppet

    Agnostics Puppet Professor

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    My problem with the ending was, it just fell on its nose. The story was climaxing and then it just...stopped.
     
  18. afrojack

    afrojack Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

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    That's how I felt. For such a strong being as golem Harry, it seemed a pathetic and anti-climactic way to go out. To me it just felt like he was determined to end the story, and IMO he didn't even really give Harry any justice. Harry fulfilled his original intent, which was to protect the real Harry by dying in his place, a stand-in, his life meaning less than any other sentient being's simply because of his nature.

    In the end, he was what everyone said he was, a golem, a non-human. This story could have had a much greater theme of achieving true humanity through his actions and compassion rather than heredity and blood, something that most born-humans never manage to do. But instead it ended with Harry dying in the crushing futility of being unable to escape what he was, rather than triumphing because of who he had become.
     
  19. Militis

    Militis Supreme Mugwump

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    That was my problem exactly. It was still a good story though.
     
  20. PapaMidNite56

    PapaMidNite56 Second Year DLP Supporter

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    I think that Harry did a totally selfless thing and saved everyone. I wished he didn't off himself but I don't think he had much of a choice. In the end I think he was a hero. I've also been wondering what kind of afterlife he'll have if he has one at all. Is there a golem heaven?
     
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