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Complete The Sum of Their Parts by holdmybeer - M

Discussion in 'Dark Arts' started by mistermisstep, Mar 27, 2016.

  1. boomvroomshroom

    boomvroomshroom Squib

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    I remember picking this one up a few days ago. The premise and the first chapter were really good, but I couldn't hold interest after that.

    Looking back, it would have made more sense to use his influence to gather support first, before jumping into this Dark Lord business right away. I expected more planning and action. If you're going to give up your status as the world's hero to become the villain, you might as well do it right.

    Harry's goal was to restructure the whole social order, but everything he's done up until this point has fallen short. Once again, I think it was the great start and the resulting failure to follow through that's causing so much disappointment. The gradual descent into darkness is there, and it's done fairly well, but everything else doesn't seem to fit.

    Despite this, it's not a bad story by any means. It just hasn't lived up to the hype of the beginning. 3/5.
     
  2. Snapdragon

    Snapdragon Slug Club Member

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    It looks to me as if you haven't followed the story at all if you're criticizing a lack of planning and action.
     
  3. Zerg_Lurker

    Zerg_Lurker Unspeakable DLP Supporter

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    I've enjoyed it so far and I'm looking forward to seeing how it unfolds, despite however much it reminds me of Code Geass. It's written well enough but I definitely got tired of Harry's rant/convincing speeches after the second pass.

    Despite being as early as it is in the story, I am somewhat disappointed that everything is simply going Harry's way. A lot of the tension derives from token moral struggles and the escapades in which nothing goes wrong. Dark Lord Potter still hasn't had his resolve truly tested, nor has he faced failure, or even a hiccup, as his revolution chugs along its merry way.

    It's a fun read and a nice throwback to the old Dark!Harry stories that seem almost campy now.
    Nonetheless, I agree with Hakairyu's assessment, albeit reluctantly, so I'm bracing myself for a disappointing conclusion.
     
  4. boomvroomshroom

    boomvroomshroom Squib

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    All right. Perhaps that was a bad choice of words.

    In case you were wondering, I have read up to Chapter 9 (latest chapter at the time of this post). What I see is: he's trying to overturn society, but at the end of the day they're still scratching names off a list.

    Their planning and action applies to individual missions (murders). Those were well-executed, but only within the scope of that event. Large-scale, not so much. He's good at thinking in terms of "per battle", but not "per war".

    It helps that he has old friends and supporters within the Ministry, and that the killings are spurring some change, but none of that is as tied together as I would have liked.
     
    Last edited: Apr 9, 2016
  5. thoriyan

    thoriyan DA Member

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    Officially completed today. For those of you wanting to see a full-out Evil Dark Lord in this fic, you'll be disappointed. That said, I did enjoy the story as a whole. The magic isn't too ridiculous, we see Harry's actions logically building over the course of the story, and I felt it was a neatly-wrapped up ending. I think the 4/5 rating is about right.
     
  6. TallDarkStranger

    TallDarkStranger Third Year

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    I loved the ending. This was IMO Harry Potter done Godfather style, where he's not truly a dark lord, but dark because the general populace believes him to be so.

    Most people NOT under Don Corleone's purview would have said the same about him.
    My only complaint, that Harry isn't super high powered. I'd have liked that, but then I'm a sucker for Indy powerful Harrys like Magicks of the Arcane and A Cadmean Victory
     
  7. Fardeki

    Fardeki Headmaster DLP Supporter

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    Harry spends more time talking about being a Dark Lord than actually doing anything worthwhile to his goals. Woe is me you are all useless I'm going to be dark.

    This is nothing but a thinly veiled angst fic that does nothing but complain about how shit the world is without actually doing anything to change it, beyond talk about how it's forcing him to become a Dark Lord and they all deserved it in the first place.

    To start with (and much of the fic) nearly every conversation with anyone is a discussion about Harry and him becoming a Dark Lord. The story does nothing to resolve any of the issues Harry complains about, rather it's more geared to showing people talking about Harry being a Dark Lord, their reactions etc rather than Harry actually trying to change the world. Throw in an odd death here and there to add more 'it's all part and parcel of being a Dark Lord, I had to do it.'

    And when the author finally runs out of ideas for 'woe is me I'm a Dark Lord you all asked for it/this is why I am a Dark Lord' scenes or 'time to kill some death eaters' scenes, rather than actually tackle the issues Harry wanted to tackle with becoming a Dark Lord in the first place the story abruptly ends and we skip to a short epilogue.

    The bad pacing of the story, the authors use of the term Dark Lord which could fill a post of the pet peeves thread by itself, and the fact that this story achieves none of it's original objectives makes it an ordinary story overall.

    It you are looking for a story about Harrys descent into darkness and him trying to change the magical world this story is not for you. If you are looking for a story where this is talked about all the time but it never happens than you might enjoy this.

    3/5. I bumped it up to 3 because the author is a freak with their update rate and deserves credit.
     
  8. Zel

    Zel Groundskeeper

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    Hmm...I think that murdering the entire opposition, usually those who were the most powerful opressors, the same ones that helped enforcing and perpetuating everything that Harry came to stand against is doing something to tackle the issue.

    I agree with you that all those reaction scenes became annoying, but they were pretty realistic. You see, most people would want your reasons as to why you'll turn into an enemy of the government and a very killing-happy wizard, but apparently the author couldn't fill the story with other more creative ideas. The whole premise could be far more than what he developed, especially on the 'building power-base' part, which he skipped entirely. I get why he did it, writing something like that is complex, and recquires knowledge and skill that, I for one, wouldn't have.

    And he didn't really have a crazy update rate, the story was finished beforehand.

    Overall, a 3/5 too. It was nice to read a post-Hogwarts story for a change.
     
  9. mistermisstep

    mistermisstep First Year

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    Just saw this was complete today and finished reading it straight off.

    The story got better as it went on, as well as slightly darker. The characterization, especially the friendship of Ron, Hermione, and Harry is one of the best things about this. The writing is good and clear, (although there are a few typos here and there that a beta could've caught). The relatively fresh premise is one that I enjoyed a lot. Harry isn't just doing Dark magic because of Muggle hate or angst; he's doing it because he has legitimate reasons. Good reasons.

    That said, the biggest letdown is the fact that this comes off as the start to an epic that was cut short. I don't like that I was reading about
    a changed world in an epilogue instead of seeing it unfold ... or that said epilogue feels like it was written to prevent a cliffhanger.
    The ending would've been stronger if it had stopped just before that.

    (And the use of "Dark Lord" instead of "Dark Wizard" put a twitch under my eye, but that can be forgiven as its considered an actual, if AU form of title here.)

    My original rating stands, a 3.5 rounded up to a 4. This is a slightly above average fic that, with a bit more, could've been bumped to a solid 4.
     
  10. Zel

    Zel Groundskeeper

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    Heh, some blokes joke about the self-proclaimed Dark Lord.

    A day later, Dark Lord Potter is waiting outside their houses, wand glowing orange. The victims only have time to drop the f-bomb before they're turned into magical barbecue.

    To be fair, Harry's legend had grown to the point that they could actually take his claim seriously, he did beat the Dark Lord, though it was unlikely that a nineteen years old guy had mastered much of the Dark Arts.
     
  11. Gene

    Gene Third Year

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    It's a solid 4 in my eyes, though maybe more of a 3.99. If he'd written politics or better action/battle scenes, it would be higher, and the rather sudden ending does it no favors.

    It feels like the rise of a dark lord without the second half of that story (e.g. it covered the devolution into amorality, but not the necessary establishing scenes where Harry's justifications, warped as they may be, begin to seem hollow or mere excuses for his cruelty), including his reign, and I'm not a big fan of that.

    Despite that, what it does have is very, very good. This story is the first half of a 5.
     
  12. Darth V

    Darth V First Year DLP Supporter

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    3.5, rounded to 3/5. Though it had great potential, the ending made it unworthy of the Library. It feels like an unfinished story, put under "complete" just to avoid being abandoned.
     
  13. Lord Ravenclaw

    Lord Ravenclaw System God Admin

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    I can't help but agree. The story had at least another 100K words in it. The author may have been unable to figure out a good way to continue.

    Overall I found the concept enjoyable if underdone. I have read "Dark Trio" stories before, but this was different. The soul magic was a pretty weak plot device.

    Harry wants to change the world, and somehow that strikes a chord with the people of his generation. That said, it felt too easy to sway people to his side.

    I also didn't care for the whole "dark lord" as an official title for anyone against the Ministry. A little forced and unnatural.

    I still gave it a 4/5, rounded up. It's rare to read something somewhat fresh. It would have been a solid 4/5 with a real ending.
     
  14. Oment

    Oment The Betrayer

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    Felt fresh, but lacked some coherence here and there. Had to check a few times how they got some of the extended Inner Circle on board. Still, not a tired rehash, a decent enough rationale for why Harry was doing the whole Dark Lord thing, and a decent grasp on the characterisation of most of the cast would probably have edged me to a 4/5.

    Then the ending happened, and I can't find it in myself to give more than 3/5 for one of the worst cases of cutting stuff down in its prime I've seen in a while. That ending was atrocious, and that's probably a mild transcription of my feelings about it.

    I probably would have preferred it to be abandoned over this.
     
  15. albeva

    albeva Squib

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    In my humble opinion this story was better than many highly rated stories in the library. I think it's 4 at the very least. If not even 5! Not perfect, but very good effort indeed.
     
  16. JohnThePyro

    JohnThePyro Headmaster

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    While there are definitely a myriad of problems with the fic, I can't help but enjoy it. The angst isn't terribly overdone, and the fall to the darkness is at least far more reasonable than most other dark fics I've read.

    Yeah, there are major problems. The talking about being a dark Lord over showing it, the ending feels like a big let down after all that build up. It almost feels like going to a restaurant, eating a appetizer, and then leaving before you touch your steak.

    That said, it was a hell of an appetizer. Like Red Lobster biscuits good. The fall was reasonable, the magic was sensible, and the actual plot made sense. This was the first dark Lord fic where I actually felt Harry actually fit the canon version of a dark Lord. No fancy fucking clothing, no proclaiming long, ridiculous titles.

    4/5, just for that. It has so much unrealized potential, but it definitely deserves to be in the library.
     
  17. Lion

    Lion Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    I enjoyed the fic. I really honestly did. Watching Harry, Ron, and Hermione descend into the Dark side was mesmerizing. The characters go through a very believable and honest transition into the Dark Lord and his most trusted. I loved Neville's initial distrust before joining Harry and becoming one of his most loyal followers. At a certain point though I stopped reading because I liked it, but because I just needed to know what happened next. Lord Ravenclaw said it best, this story had at least another 100k left in it.
    There was too much showing instead of telling. I would have loved to get more detail and to see an actual rise with the recruit of followers. Until I scrolled and saw epilogue I honest to god thought it would have a sequel. I give it a solid 3/5, 4/5 if it had more flesh to it.
     
  18. LJW

    LJW Squib

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    I've started reading this story and so far it seems to have some solid writing. I myself would personally recommend the fic. It has some interesting concepts and is well written. It also doesn't rush straight into him becoming some dark lord.
     
  19. illya_

    illya_ First Year

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    The sum of their parts being violated by harry:
    On a more serious note, it was pretty decent.

    The story seems believable and the way the last confrontation was resolved made me give it a 4/5 instead of a 3/5.

    During the story we learn that harry has a great amount of power and focus/willpower. At least one of those are canon, with the other being plausible.
    Harry is not so battle hardened yet that he should be able to walk blindly into a battle against an unknown amount of experienced aurors and win. So they don't do that.
    They tried to sneak attack someone, which almost got Harry killed.
    They also, when needed, use Harry's two big powers to chicken race the ministry into letting Ron go.

    Of course that won't work forever and actually describing how they gradually gain experience on the battlefield would be a different beast to write. So I can understand why the author cut the story when he did.
    Then again, it did feel kinda abandoned.

    Incompetent ministry was a tad annoying, and while evil bigoted ministry also isn't my favorite I am glad the focus went there.

    "Dark lord" got old quickly, thought I can see how it keeps being brought up in the fic's world. They seemed to regarding it as a tsunami or earthquake. Not so much a question about if, but when the next will hit.
     
  20. The Dork Lord

    The Dork Lord Squib

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    The ending was abrupt and seemed like the author took a cheap way out by just implying that Harry won in the epilogue with very little action to show him taking over the ministry. I give it a 4/5