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Complete The Sum of Their Parts by holdmybeer - M

Discussion in 'Dark Arts' started by mistermisstep, Mar 27, 2016.

  1. Verfassergeist

    Verfassergeist Squib

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    I enjoyed the premise, and the subsequent descent into DLP-land. Good, believable character growth for everyone. Magic was realistic as it could've been, with very little hand-waving for the nitty gritty. Was disappointed with brevity of the ending, but would've been nice to see more of DLP in Magical Britain and how the populace reacts to him.
     
  2. Senna

    Senna Squib

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    Oh my word

    ...but this was an absolute pleasure to read! I was left incredibly relieved and yet somewhat disappointed that the story is complete - but I'm also conflicted, because the ending was definitely well suited to the plot.

    Speaking on the author's technical writing ability, I think that this was the best possible compromise that could have been made between detailed plot development and noting the passage of time. There are some writers who cannot seem to find the 'sweet spot' between plot elaboration and plot movement, in the sense that communicating how much time passes between plot points often comes across as awkward, and interrupts the flow of the story for the reader. In my opinion, this particular author was able to strike a perfect balance leading up to not only the climax of the story, but also the denouement that follows.

    I also find that the way action was used as the primary tool for character development to be incredibly well done - and a refreshing departure from the more common style of "let's use massive blocks of text of introspection from Character A, so that every decision that Character A makes thereafter will make perfect sense without further explanation." The way the author used action and slight introspection here or there to instead imply how the characters' personalities would then develop, then affect future decisions as a result, is inspiring. In my reading experience this is quite difficult to pull off but, when well done, is brilliantly executed.

    I definitely liked how the author led (instead of forcefully pulled) the reader to arrive at, if not the same conclusions, then at least to understanding the rationale behind the main characters' decisions. At no point did I feel like the story was telling me that 'this makes sense because I say so.'

    Regarding the plot itself, I feel that the author's use of
    the Unbreakable Vow
    to prod the story along was perhaps slightly over-used. That said, I do think the choice of writing style in this case is the primary reason for that somewhat heavy-handed feeling, and that a longer, more detailed elaboration on this Fic would avoid that issue. However, that would then result in an entirely different manner of fiction which almost makes the point moot. Still, if this writing style isn't your cup of tea you might not be able to keep from noticing it.

    A few spelling issues and missing words, but easily remedied and not enough to detract from your enjoyment of the story. A thoroughly engrossing read, and highly recommended - I'd go so far as to say that if the author were interested in a longer, more detailed version of the current story or even sequel, that I'd read that in a heartbeat. 4/5 for me.
     
  3. Ejt48

    Ejt48 Squib

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    I liked the premise of this fic but feel like it never reached its potential. It was very well written and I enjoyed reading it, but I was always waiting for it to really ramp up the action but before it did it was over. I found the epilogue especially underwhelming, what the DLP had actually achieved over the last eight years was very vague with no specifics given. I think the author ran out ideas so decided to end it.

    Overall the characters were well written, and most of their decisions seemed true to character but when
    they are discussing the family of Auror Hipworth after Harry has killed him and if they can accept/justify his death, Harry justified himself but I didn't feel like Hermione and the others feelings about it were portrayed well. It was brought up and the almost forgotten about
    I know this is a small part of a long story, but I feel like it was a bit of a turning point.

    As some previous reviewers have mentioned the title Dark Lord was excessively and strangely used, almost as if it was an official position instead of a title.

    Like i said all the potential in the world but overall 3/5
     
    Last edited: Apr 26, 2016
  4. Marblegiraffe

    Marblegiraffe Squib

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    I really enjoyed the premise of this story and I found the writing to be very well done in that every character had their own voice and seemed like themselves despite their actions. I think the most refreshing thing was how gradually Harry and the rest of the trio rose, with the passage of time and gains in power feeling very genuine.

    I do think that the ending could have been better, with a more concrete epilogue explaining how events had continued forward to that point in time. While there was a climax that was resolved, the real issues of the story weren't really concluded in a meaningful way besides a sentence or two in the epilogue.

    Overall, I really enjoyed it and I'd probably give it 4/5 overall.
     
  5. Xiph0

    Xiph0 Administrator Admin

    Joined:
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    Not going to be my most thorough review ever, but damn I really enjoyed this. It's not perfect and seeing Dark Lord Potter in a context other than the site took getting used to, but it scratched the fic itch.
     
  6. ScottPress

    ScottPress The Horny Sovereign Prestige

    Joined:
    Apr 22, 2013
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    People who liked this fic, prepare your cleaning products, because I'm about to shit all over it.

    It has some major problems. First off, I thought that the prose, while serviceable, was rather plebian. Maybe I was spoiled by reading Circular Reasoning early in my fanfic days, but this lacked this X factor that would draw me in. I thought that the author wanted to paint a particular picture of a fairly crooked, bleak reality, but lacked the words to do it. The weak writing ties into the second issue.

    The big moments, when they happen, have no oomph. There are fics that left me feeling like I've just been punched in the face and it was awesome. There's none of that here. Oh, Harry's killing people now? Okay, I guess. Ah, his big Dark Lord coming out. Yaaawn. Something's missing. I believe that a part of getting across the impact of those "big" moments is setting up the atmosphere of the story's environment and, like I said, the author didn't succeed in that.

    The author had some cool ideas, but once they were introduced, they were handled badly, though not all.

    Walburga's portrait was a horcrux? AWESOME.
    But becoming a Dark Lord was run into the ground. Same with Occlumency. Harry can't learn it because of "Black madness". Cool. And then repeatedly "well I'm not super mad, but I got the recklessness". Things like Dark Lord being an actual legal thing, the stiff adherence to Hogwarts House stereotypes ("Gryffindor-Slytherin Dark Lord", oh for heaven's sake) made my blood boil every time they were brought up for ruining what had seemed in the beginning like a potentially good fic. I won't elaborate on the Ministry full of idiots and bigots, because there's no more juice to squeeze out of that nugget. Just blergh.

    I confess that I skipped chapters 9 and 10 because I was bored out of my skull and wanted to know if Harry's Dark Lord career ever gets anywhere. The finale in the Ministry was skippable. And then the timeskip happened.

    This, I think, is this fic's biggest fault. The author had an interesting idea for a story, but wrote all the wrong scenes. The story that should have been written is in that timeskip. How did things go from "grrrr, burn everything" to Harry being the Dark Pimp of Britain? Everything interesting was skipped over. In effect, the story feels incomplete. There should have been another 100k words between "BURN THEM ALL" and the epilogue.

    Overall, terribly disappointing. 2/5
     
  7. Download

    Download Chief Warlock DLP Supporter

    Joined:
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    Adelaide, Australia
    I enjoyed the fic. Easily the most enjoyable new HP fic I've read in months. Then again, I haven't read very much new HP stuff in a long time.

    The concept is refreshing and for the most part his rise is believable.

    The story keeps the tension up too. Throughout the fic it does feel like they're all going to die in a blaze of glory. Harry does seem like he believes he won't survive the experience which adds to it.

    The story is left in a partial sequel hook. I look forward to more.

    My only issue with this is how everything seems to know he's becoming a "Dark Lord" despite him not having done anything yet. I know the author prewrote the whole thing so maybe he got muddled up moving things about? The author also admits in his profile page he isn't normally into HP FF which I think bleeds into his writing - he doesn't use any of the standard clich├ęs.

    Giving it a 3.5 rounded up.