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Abandoned The Taste of Blood is Sweet by Heather Sinclair (R)

Discussion in 'Dark Arts' started by Antivash, Aug 6, 2008.

  1. Sully

    Sully Groundskeeper

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    Loving this, I haven't seen a good Insane!Harry fic for quite some time. I'm happily awaiting the next chapter.
     
  2. Heather_Sinclair

    Heather_Sinclair Minister of Magic

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    @Everyone - Thanks for the good thoughts!

    @ mors - I'm taking the majority of your post as "It's not the way I would have done it, because of XXXX." Which is cool. Different tastes.

    But I'd like to know where are all of "assorted cliches" that you spoke of. I think even at this juncture of the story it is established where Harry is going to be directing the fruits of his labor, and running around trying to stick his wand down the throat of every Dementor he sees to produce an uber-Patronus is not likely. So that one is out.

    I see a dead Dementor that the Healer has never heard of happening before... I would call that a differently used cliche, but a cliche nonetheless.

    Are you speaking of having a dark!Harry? Or perhaps the flipping off of Umbridge in the trial? Or perhaps Harry getting revenge on his enemies?

    I'm not being pissy. I'm just truly curious, because I think most people know my opinon of overused and badly used cliches. If you have the time, let me know.
     
  3. Mors

    Mors Denarii Host DLP Supporter

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    As I get older- older in the fandom, even, these 'dark'!Harry type stories (with a Harry making a fiendish plan and making witty remarks as he cunningly outwits his enemies and fucks the brain out of a pretty girl or a dozen; while everybody else is gushing with pleas for forgiveness at the end and him basically telling them to fuck off - with some add/modify I did get 95% of what DLP features here) do tend to lose their flavour unless they're done exquisitely well. Call it the contempt bred by long familiarity. But that's not what I was referring to. And your fic isn't nearly long enough yet to judge on that score.

    It's just the combination of these:

    1. dead dementor for that first time in magical history (dementors are not mortal creatures, I don't think. They express the general despair the people of the land is feeling, and shit like that. They don't die. Not the version I think of anyway.)

    2. super patronus (the first time in a fic it was okayish, the second a wtf. The third went straight to r u srs. One of the most badly used cliches there is in the fandom.)

    3. dementor spewing all the hat/lust in it while it dies. Again, I say, as Jesus when Lucifer asked him to turn stones into bread. R. U. Srs.

    4. I'm just plain tired of fics where harry 'snaps', period... one fic like 'Harry's Madness' is one too many. Quadruply so when it involves killing a dementor. The first fic I read that was okay. From the second on it served as a pointer to the red 'x' at the top corner.

    I don't think it applies to the newer people, meaning those reading fanfics for two-three years or less. But some of the long-timers like me have trouble empathizing with protagonists turned insane over a fifth of a chapter (read my comment over 'snapping'). In a multi-chaptered fic like this, you spent basically a few lines ("spewing all the hate/rage/lust etc") describing the fulcrum on which the whole character shifts. Radically. Sounded flimsy. Sounded... uninteresting. The lines didn't have nearly as much impact as they should have had. If you want the whole fic based on one single event, like here... you better spend some words on it. That, I think, was my main beef with your story. Rushed. Too rushed. Especially where it needed to score.

    I admit that I have some peculiar tastes in both fanfics and everything else, so maybe not many echo my sentiments. But I have some big problems with your fic. I don't doubt you'll find many enthusiastic readers to take my place, though.

    So yeah, different tastes. Peace.
     
    Last edited: Aug 11, 2008
  4. Ragon

    Ragon Dark Lord

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    Okay as of right now. Its at 4. Thats because your doing a H/Cho fic. I like it already.


    Harry snaps and takes Cho down the dark path with him is a nice idea. Its hard to believe Hermoine, Ginny, Luna, or basically any other female in Harry's age group doing this. But Cho, I can believe going down the path.
     
  5. Heather_Sinclair

    Heather_Sinclair Minister of Magic

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    Never said it was the first time in Magical history, just that the Healer had never heard of it. But it skirts too close and I agree it is a cliche.

    No super-patronus was used. I don't know where you got that from? He cast the patronus in the dementor's mouth. No golden, golden spotted, fifty-foot, etc was used. I never even said that it took form. But if you took it that way maybe I need to look over the scene.



    Is this a cliche? I've never heard of that before, along with all the all the people I have talked to about it. And it didn't spew hat/lust/etc. It spewed evil souls.


    Understandable. You're tired of the plot device.



    Okay, so basically, one cliche and a distaste for Snapped!character. No mounds of cliches. I can live with that. Peace.
     
  6. Blah-the-Sixth

    Blah-the-Sixth First Year

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    I must admit I usually don't read stories like this, but it's well written and has be on the edge of my seat wondering what will happen next. Shame only two chapters are out right now, but in fairness it has only been about a week and a half since it was published.

    I give it a 5/5.
     
  7. MofoNofo

    MofoNofo Seventh Year

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    This was kind of a good read. The way Cho's father got handled: Lulz. The only downfall that I see is that considering that Harry is insane, he doesn't seem to have much of an insane character.

    Then again, you don't have to be a giggling maniac to be insane.

    4/5, with possible 5/5 if the chapters keep coming.
     
  8. Heather_Sinclair

    Heather_Sinclair Minister of Magic

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    Just to let you know...

    I started "Taste..." at the very end of my current story "Gentleman Usher of the Scarlet Rod." I've only got one more chapter to go on that story and I'm about half way through with it, so give me another week or so and you should start seeing regular updates to "Taste..."

    And I can tell you that Harry isn't going to go 'instantly insane' right now he wants nothing more than to 'destroy the lives' of people that are fucking with him, much like his has been destroyed. But he will eventually find himself in a situation where ... well, I'm giving too much of the story away. You'll see what I'm talking about in the next chapter. >_O
     
  9. Dirk Diggory

    Dirk Diggory Seventh Year

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    Meh. They were lame criticisms. Who the fuck cares if some dude thinks "his version" of dementors are immortal? The books don't say one way or the other. Jbern likes to write dementors that can be weighed down with transfiguration. Oh shit, better call the dementor definition police!!!!!

    97% of stories on here get someone whining about "cliches". There are currently 368,235 HP fanfictions on ff.net. Good luck finding something nobody has ever touched on in any single one of those. There are a handful of things that are truly cliche (mostly the obvious post-ootp scenarios) and it's fine to bash that. Otherwise just because something has appeared in a story before has no bearing on whether or not it's well written in this one. So don't throw away good ideas because some other fic may have mentioned them.
     
  10. Goddessa39

    Goddessa39 DA Member

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    There is cliche, and then there is CLICHE. Ever story probably has just about one or two of them all just because they are an integral part of the cannon HP. However, when people use just about ever one name in a chapter, then there are problems, like no one reading through it and just about everyone flaming it.

    "The Taste of Blood" does not have any serious CLICHEs that deserve to be flamed, so relax. I'm sure there is something in there that has been read, but what hasn't.

    I'm looking forward to a look into Harry's psyche and more than just Cho's when Harry is behind her.
     
  11. Koalas

    Koalas First Year Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Dementor eats Patronus, spew X amount of the worst criminal souls down Harry's throat, freaks out and runs? Believable, but I'm curious about what happened to Dudley and Dementor number 2.

    My only real problem is the scene at Cho's house. More specifically Crabbe and Goyle. I have no problem with them being intelligent, but there plan was retarded. The only signs of a struggle would be in the bedroom so they expect the Aurors to believe there was a random 'Chin' blade laying there on the floor, which magically gave the 7-year-old the strength to impale her father?

    The fact that the Aurors practically quoted what Goyle thought they would think word for word didn't help matter either.

    Cho setting the record straight will be incredibly sweet, and even though her words will go in fudge's ears and out his well-lubed ass, the consequences should be dramatic.
     
  12. Blah-the-Sixth

    Blah-the-Sixth First Year

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    I recommend not holding your breath. Most likely the whole ministry will write her words off as being traumatized. With rich Death Eaters supporting the theory, saying they forgive the crazed ravings of a tragic victim, and the whole case being considered an open and shut one. If anything it won't be sweet, it will be the straw that snaps Cho's mind.

    Though I do agree with the whole murder set-up. The whole thing would seem a bit fishy to anyone investigating the crime scene. However, there is the possibility that, that was done on purpose for a later event in the story.
     
  13. Boo

    Boo Auror

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    There had to be a sword stand/rack downstairs. So those Aurors are just plain stupid or they just dont care enough to do their jobs right
     
  14. Koalas

    Koalas First Year Prestige DLP Supporter

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    Looking back this is likely the reason Cho would be helping with Umbridge's murder... but still depending on how Cho presents her case it it'll be hard to pass it off as her being 'traumatized' (would Wizards even know what this is?).
     
  15. Pyromaniac

    Pyromaniac Third Year

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    There's this thing called "accidental magic" that is quite common in youngsters under a considerable amount of stress. I'm sure it would be possible to summon a sword while being raped.
     
  16. Heather_Sinclair

    Heather_Sinclair Minister of Magic

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    Just to let you guys know that I never said 'sword' I think it was 'Chin Blade'. A number of small Chinese bladed weapons fit well into that category. So it's not out of the realm of possibility for Loli Chang to have concealed the weapon, saw it under the bed, accidentally summoned it, etc.
     
  17. Blah-the-Sixth

    Blah-the-Sixth First Year

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    I cant remember, but didn't Crabbe (or Goyle) say there were a "pair" of chin blades hanging on the wall? That was my main reason for questioning the set up. I'll go back and read the chapter again to make sure though.

    Edit: Yeah, here's the line.

    "He walked over to Cho's father. "Oh, I have an idea. Go and get one of those Chin blades I saw on the mantle above the floo.""
     
    Last edited: Aug 14, 2008
  18. Amerision

    Amerision Galactic Sheep Emperor DLP Supporter

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    I'm probably one of the few that didn't enjoy this story. I tried reading it objectively (I replaced all the 'Cho' names with Daphne), but it was the actual behavior of the characters that set me off.

    They're just too suave and smooth in the way they have sex and kill people at the same time. Especially for 15. I was rolling my eyes at some of the things Harry was doing.

    2.5/5 only for being interesting plot wise.
     
  19. peregrine1989

    peregrine1989 Third Year

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    I understand where Amerision is coming from, but then it has to be said that some people get turned on by some strange stuff. And 15 year olds can have a huge amount of sex. So that is a matter of opinion more then anything else.

    I liked the spew forth rage and hate, it was a new way to make Harry snap as far as I am concerned and it makes far more sense then some I have seen.

    The best thing about this is that it flows, makes sense and tries to avoid Cliches. A lot of work went into this from what I have heard and I hope it continues.

    While I refuse to rate on such a low amount I think this story has Myth potential. At least 4.5-5 if you keep at it.
     
  20. Scott

    Scott Professor DLP Supporter

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    You still plan on continuing this story?
     
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