Title: The Unknown Alliance
Author: ohmygawsh
Rating: T
Genre: Action/Adventure
Pairing: undecided.
Status: WIP
Summary: Harry is taken back in time to train in a secure citadel with an ancient order.
Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2567765/1/

 

Try again with this
posting format

 

Both the pairings really discourages me from reading this. MAybe I'll give it a try when i'm bored to death... And maybe in death i'll still find something to entertain me...

 

<_< Not to fond of Redeemed Draco @_@ Hes Bad, hes Evil, hes a pussy who goes and hides behind his daddy....<_< Plain and simple.....

 

God's be damned a Harry/Ginslut on DLP! what is the world coming to? But as much as i want to bag it with out reading it i wont so i'm not even going to bother with this, though like Aura said funny things can happen when your really board.

 

hmm, ok being the consumate troller, I took a look. Here's the lowdown...it's K+, chapter 2's title is "Return from Nevernever land" And AN bottom says:

What you do in the privacy of your own home is your own affairs **hastely covers the dissembled pieces of a tactical nuke** but ahm, people here are not partial to 3 of the 4 people involved here. :lol:

That said, the author gets brownie points from me for not doing H/D slash. Seems like she hates it. Good grammar, which is rare nowdays on H/G fics, but nothing spectatcular. And for something like H/G, it needs to be spectatcular and this isn't even close... The K+ rating somewhat limited anything interesting from happening.

B for effort, C for effect...so I'm biased.

 

i just gave up, why would the High Mage Harry go back to Hogwarts to learn stuff when he already so intune with magic he almost is magic.

Why wouldnt he just go kill voldie?

 

(as the author)

The K+ rating is inaccurate, I will be including some pretty damn brutal scenes in the near future. I like the blood shed : ) I love Draco as the sadistic cold bastard I'm planning for him to let this show more than ever once returning to Hogwarts. As you guys have picked up I'm not a fan of slash, or Ginny/Harry suprisingly. If you have read my fic you will notice that there has been little or no mention of a relationship between those too so I may just scrap it for a more action based story. Harry is pwerful in this story but I like to maintain the idea that you can't win a war by just barging in and fire missles all over the place. Rememeber the Americans and Vietnam? :lol: He is going to slowly take out the ranks of Voldemort. Basically those guys are going to grow a backbone, stop being such damn Gryffindors at the same time as killing a fair few number of people.

Mordecai can barely spell his own name nevermind write a decent review. But sometimes simple people don't get some things.

 

i take quite serious offence at that, and may I assume that you are the author of this travesty of fanfiction? Because your responce on here is awfully like the one I recieved from the author via review reply

yeah, lets see, they fucked everything up and did nothing useful at all, that sounds like it'll make a good plot, not wait, that is the plot in canon

 

I honestly don't care if you were seriously offended. Personally I was extremely offended by your blatantly non-contructive review. Its a bit rich telling my that my fanfiction is terrible when you can barely spell or read. If you look back at the post I so mortally offended you in you may have noticed at that top I mentioned that I WAS IN FACT THE AUTHOR. btw didn't your primary school teachers never tell you not to start a sentence with because? Due to your obvious lack of ability in the English language, narrow mindedness and egotism I am definately going to dismiss anything that comes out of your mouth. If you had given me a proper review I may be slightly more yielding.

To any others who are considering reading my fanfiction, please do. I would highly appreciate reviews that would help me build a decent fanfiction. I am an avid reader with the same fanfiction ideals as the majority of you guys, I'm just not so good at putting it down on paper.

 

As a matter of interest do you count a review saying "UPDATE" as a good review? Do you reply to them and tell them not to bother reviewing because they are breaking ff.nuts review rules?

In the post that offended me you stated that the post was "as the author" which could easily be taken to mean that you were quoting the author from somewhere else.

I happen to be one of the top in my English class, top in my Religious Moral and Philisophical Education class, and i shall give you I am maybe slightly egotistical, but find a Scotsman who isn't. Much better than being part of the arse end of Britain where you say you come from.

 

There are encouraging. I'm sure you have a fair few of those reviews on your fanfiction so don't be hypocritical. My point is : of you have nothing nice to say about my story then you can keep it to yourself or risk annoying someone.

I'm not going to get into an argument about our countries. But you had better look at your own country before you can label mine. Also congratulations on the whole "Im top of:" list.

 

One would be most obliged if fatal would check his own English before complaining about other peoples.

 

oh for merlin's sake shut up. I basically stood down from your petty argument in my last post so just leave it.

 

Fatal: Everyone here is brutally honest in their reviews to the point it's made a few authors give up writing. There will never been any UPDATE!!1! athenakitty shit here. If you can't handle someone nailing your story, after giving it a fair read, then either agree to disagree, or ask them to point out the things they hate, so you have a better idea of what certain folks hate. Trust me, there's people here that'll rip a bad fic to shreads, Mord isn't one of them.

Don't get it into a flame war, as my patience with that crap after Vorlon is nonexistant.

Modrecai: You've been here long enough to know better, knock it off and let it be.

 

meh i wouldn't have minded if he were creative.

 

Mordecai: If you know you are not going to like a fic, why do you read it? And more importantly, why leave an unconstructive review, wouldn't it be better to just suggest possible ways to fix things?

Fatal: Just turn the other cheek. Also, you should have expected this to happen at least once when you posted Harry/Ginny Redeemed! Draco on the board.

Now, onto something else:

"The Americans in Vietnam" The Americans (and as an American I say this with a bit of bias) didn't lose in Vietnam because of any great skill or strategy of the North Vietnamese Army... They lost because they were lead by idiots who were forced to sell an increasingly less popular war at home. Idiots who didn't even TRY to use the required number of troops. Idiots who brought in new unseasoned troops every year while sending the veterans home. Idiots who condoned actions that were tantamount to war crimes, turning the local population against them. The North Vietnamese were incapable of ending the war in one fell swoop, they HAD to fight the way they did. Super Pumped! Harry on the other hand...

 

yawn..people have a sense of humour. I'm really not wanting to have a bitching session and i did turn the cheek in the end. But a sick irish woman can be a little...grumpy sometimes to say the least..

I've recently studied the Vietnam war. Plus America's involvement in everthing since around 1944. To me it appeared that Amercia got itself involved because

(a) they were scared of the communism.
(B) the truman doctrine.

Both good reasons to involve themselves but the way they went about it was amazingly brutal and terrible. Similar to the Battle of Stalingrad the people of the country fought using guerilla tactics whilst the Amercians just went in and killed whatever moved. That is the impression I get from an objective education, supported by quite a few statistics. I apologise in advance if I have offended your country as I have nothing against the Americans (apart from Bush).

BTW Harry/Ginny is now not the case.
Draco may be in a way redeemed but that doesn't mean hes going to be the new lollypop man for Hogwarts.

 

I'm not getting into that vietnam war thingy...

As to your story, Fatal, I like some of your descriptive scenes. I scanned some parts and found only a few typos and grammatical mistakes. I didn't really read the whole thing but maybe i will once i get into the mood but it's not going to be tonight. 2 tests tomorrow. The rating is a big deterrent, just so you know. Read some of 'darkness reigns supreme' in the authors section if you want to know what floats the proverbial boat of the people here.

You're attaching too many adjectives. Once or twice a paragraph is ok but it gets a tad bit annoying when you're having them every other sentence.