I'm about half way through this one, and I'm not sure if I can read any further. Obsessed!Harry is interesting, and well developed, but he goes about things in such a depressingly stupid way, that my enjoyment is starting to become outweighed by my irritation. I thought for a second that there might be a glimmer of hope when

Spoiler

Pomphrey told him plain and simple that his mind-bogglingly stupid schedule was going to kill him before he ever got to come close to facing the Dark Lord

, but that was dashed when Harry immediately brushed it off and started to act like it didn't fucking matter. Ignorance, I can handle, but willful stupidity I just can't.

4/5 for good writing and character development. -2 for a nauseatingly moronic Harry. Final Rating: 2/5

EDIT:

Actually, the 4,400 figure for the opposition included the Order, but was mostly employees of the various ministries that were ready and able to fight in some capacity.

 

It's a pity that you stopped at 16, because in chapter 17 is the resolution, pretty much, of all your complaints, and where the story gets properly winsome.

I'm not saying that chapters 1-16 are bad, and then the story gets good. Rather I'm saying that chapters 1-16 seem bad, but then you realise, in the light of chapters 17 onwards, that they were in fact awesome - you were just too bust being frustrated at Harry's irrationality at the time to realise it. When you put chapters 1-16 in their proper place in the context of the fic as a whole, they suddenly fall into place as part of a greater plan.

Anyway, the fic updated (again!) today. Nice update rate, Harry continues to be awesome. I liked the previous update (chapter 26) too. Ron was done really well.

 

In the beginning there was frustration. And then the author said: Let there be an epiphany for whiny Harry, and then there was a realistic progression.

Seriously the first few chapters were really frustrating and it seemed that no matter what, the fic would be a train wreck. But then somehow he changed it so smoothly that the first chapters flow into the plot seamlessly and easily.

That said the only complaints I've got with the last few chapters is the uber-powered Harry that can ignore wards when poeople twice his age wouldn't know where to begin to do that. In a few days, weeks, whatever, he discover the ultimate magic secret when ward specialists consider it impossible. Maybe as the power he knows not it works, maybe not.

But since he only uses one or two spells again and again to bring down opponents, well I remain sceptical that he could change his magical signature. I guess we'll see how thing go on.

 

Yes, because we all know it's the number of spells you use to bring down opponents in a fight that really shows how much you know. Oh wait, Voldemort tends to only use about three different spells unless he is fighting Dumbledore.

Picking a few spells just for fighting seems to be ideal in most cases especially in a pitched battle where chaos is the theme of the day. It's better than stopping to think gee out of all the spells I know which one would be most effective in this situation and getting your head blown off because you were just standing there. Now, if only there was an example in the last chapter of what happens when Harry stands around wondering if he could/should use a curse on someone. Oh wait....

 

The latest chapter was, once again, awesome. And a nice progression,

Spoiler

Harry killed Bellatrix

.

I don't find Harry's progression with magic that unrealistic, actually. He studied a fuck load. I've done my degree with maybe 10 hours studying a week. Harry was doing almost twice that much in one day. That means that, with Harry's rate of studying, he could have done about 13 degrees in the time it's taken me to do one. We dedicate a serious amount of our time to leisure and normal social interaction.

Add onto that the fact that he's very smart (in this fic), naturally talented/powerful, driven, and used magic to enhance his studying, it's no surprise that he's now one of the most powerful and knowledgeable wizards around. And like the great wizards before him (Dumbledore, Voldemort), he's going to make his own individual contributions to magic. He isn't completely revolutionising every field. He's simply taken an already existing (if advanced) concept(feeling magic), one which he has a particular talent for, and applied it where no one thought to apply it before.

 

What Taure said. He's basically taken the magical equivalent of Newtonian physics, applied his intellect/talents towards it and come out with the Special Theory of Relativity. The possibility for it to be found was always there, it just took the right person at the right time to find it. Harry is that man and the time was then. Simple.

 

This is a really annoying fanfic for me. I tried a while ago to read it, and stopped at around chapter 15 for the reasons mentioned above; Harry annoyed me to no end. His idiocy combined with implied increase of intelligence was such an antithesis that it made my head hurt.

Then recently I saw the glowing reviews of Taure et al, people whom I greatly respect in this fandom, so I tried picking it up again. Alas, I'm afraid I shall never see how awesome this fic actually is, because I failed once more, at chapter 14 this time. I should have just skipped ahead, but I actually actively dislike this portrayal of Harry so much that I can't bring myself to continue with the story line.

This is perhaps the major qualm I have with the story. I can see what the author is doing; they are trying to create a Harry who can match, or even out-match, Voldemort/Dumbledore wand for wand without giving him cliched super powers. That is probably why I hate it so much; I can explain away/ignore those improbable 'magic trunks' or 'spirits of Merlin' or 'ascension into full power' by labelling them as something to do with "magic". But the method of gaining knowledge or power in this fic is simply not feasible, and it cannot be explained away so easily.

It's physically impossible to study for such a prolonged period; you can't store that much information efficiently and would eventually end up forgetting what you had 'learned' and not actually 'learn' anything you are currently reading. That is why sleep is so important to us.

While I do find it annoying that he becomes so ill that he can't even lift a vial of healing potion and still thinks he is doing the right thing in order to fight a war (ie; his logic seems to ignore the fact that he is going to have to actually move around and lift his wand in order to fight), that is not the crux of the problem for me. It is that this method of gaining 'power' seems to work, when it is not possible for it to do so in reality; and to me it is as if the author has spectacularly failed in what they set out to accomplish.

1.5 or 2/5, saved from a 1/5 by the fact that the writing is above average and the author tries to stay original in what I have read.

Dark Stallion.

 

I agree with the general view here- the first while was kind of bordering on annoying and/or character hate up until things jumped onto the proper way in chapter 17.

However much I might have disliked Harry's obsession from a literary view, it is rather well portrayed from an actual view. Excepting vagaries such as staying up for three weeks straight, which can be handwaved via potions and minor differences in wizarding biology, Harry's descent into obsession was startlingly realistic.

My own father went through a period where he suffered from an obsession that led him to overwork himself, and he acted in an extremely similar manner- getting by with three hours of sleep a night, being up and about at all hours of the day, and even when our family made an intervention, he had worked himself into a nervous breakdown.

Even when he was too weak to get out of bed, he still wanted to get up and work, because it was fiercely in his mind that he needed do so. Two months of bed rest, and support from the family solved that and pulled him back from the brink, but I always worry he'll end up there again.


Seeing this happen in a story I'm reading to go explore ideas outside of my own personal experience was an admitted detraction from my enjoyment of the story, but I cannot deny it was well portrayed and played.


At the end of Harry's studying binge, what eventually dropped him was not the condition of his body or its failure, but the very lack of sleep Dark-Staliion specifies. Furthermore, during the subsequent recovery, it is shown multiple times that Harry did forget a lot of the stuff he studied, and he made several mistakes and later realized that he should have known better after the fact. Despite making a commitment to 'remember' better, situations keep coming up in which Harry is extremely off his game in, and in which he should 'know' a given way to overcome, but the means has slipped his mind.


I give this story a 4/5, because it is entertaining, well written, and well managed. It would be a 5/5 'glowing' praisefilled review, except that I still believe the early chapters could use a fair bit of work. EVEN though their purpose becomes clear in chapter 17, I think the author has misjudge how far to take the obsession, and as a result is clearly losing readers. Moreover, despite being well thought out, the intervening chapters between 10 and 17 are, IMO, the worst, because they're progressively more and more un-fun.

The author needs to take some time, after they finish the fic, to go back and rework the earlier segnments so that they can depict Harry still on the road to ruin, but not take it so far that more casual readers find themselves utterly hating the entire story to such a point as to quit.


If they can do this, then the fic might be worthy of a 5/5, but until then, the best I can give it is 4/5.

 

Giving this a go because it's gotten generally good reviews from people who don't endure shit.

Seriously? 17 chapters of this will test my endurance. :|

 

DOUBLEPOST

Ya. Quick question. Does the author stop using spells as verbs at any point?

"He imperio'd her."

"I accio'd it."

"She erecto'd me."

Ok the last one is made up but still.

 

This is the sort of Harry Potter that I can identify with. Great story. I don't know why you don't like obsessive about school work Harry, but maybe that's because he reminds me of myself. Also, the way the author uses chess is unbelievably gorgeous. It's telling that in the Evans' gambit you sacrifice pieces for a more aggressive position.

 

I'm really liking this story. A mature and powerful Harry who is doing everything he can to win the war, no matter what the costs. Refreshing.

In the last few chapters Harry's been steadily gaining allies outside of the Order and I'm interested to see how he uses them in the war.

I give this a 5/5.

 

Ok, I have a question.

I am up to chapter 7, and I can't really take any more of this shit. I don't know how you guys made it to chapter 17. The addict thing has just completely put me off reading the intervening chapters as well.

Anyway, my question. Is it possible to skip from chapter 7 to 17, or 16 at least without being completely lost? Also, if not, who wants to be really nice and summarize those chapters for me?

I'm finding this story around a 2/5 at the moment, for it just being so not fun to read.

 

Okay Ellisande, here you are (plot & personality developments):

Spoiler

McGonagall acknowledges Harry's mission. Dumbledore teaches him about Riddle's past. Katie gets cursed by the necklace.

Harry throws himself into a mad studying schedule. His friendships with Hermione and particularly Ron detoriates because of this. Harry uses Polyjuice Potion to hide the fact that his body is wearing out, and Mandrake Draught to keep on going without sleep.

Harry uses the Room of Requirements for spell practice, thus improving his reflexes and 'feel' for magic. In order to improve his ability to fight left-handed and in pain, he then moves on to break his right hand before spell practice.

At some point, the Room of Requirements will only change into one particular room for Harry: an infirmary. Harry breaks down, he loses consciousness and cannot keep his Occlumency together anymore. He thus witnesses many raids by Voldemort. During one particular raid, a little girl clings to her My Little Pony doll, and she becomes a symbol in Harry's mind for the people he's trying to save.

When Harry wakes up, Pomphrey manages to convince Harry that his short-term health is important for his war efforts. Harry and Pomphrey strike a deal: Harry will conform to some minimum health guidelines, and will ask Pomphrey for an exception if necessary.

Harry has been constantly skipping all Potions lessons and detentions. It turns out that Snape was ordered by Voldemort to keep in constant contact with Harry. Hence, Snape has been heavily punished by Voldemort during this whole year of school. When Harry learns about this, he asks Snape for 'Remedial Potions'. In fact, Harry will just use this time to study, but Snape hereby reestablishes the necessary contact with Harry.

Luna introduces Harry to the thestral pack that lives in the borders of the Forbidden Forest. Harry uses the thestral's sense of direction to travel to places or persons he himself doesn't know. He starts by murdering Jugson at the man's home, the Death Eater in command during the 'My Little Pony' raid. Jugson tries to Avada Kedavra the thestral, but the curse bounces back.

Here you are, Ellisande. It may not be very concise, but it's much shorter than Chapters 7-17 and I think most information is there.

EDIT: I'm sorry for not using spoiler tags before, I should have thought of that. Thanks for correcting me, Tinn Tam

 

I still think this is one of the best fanfics out there. I can understand people's disastisfaction with the early chapters. I also agree that Harry's successfull magical progression is unlikely. But, I think it should be pointed out that Harry's rapid power-up is not merely a function of studying. It is his total obsession that contributed to it.

This Harry is willing to do almost anything to succeed. His desperation led him to some magical epiphanies and he learned from the nearly fatal mistakes that his obsession caused.

This is a very unique and original fic. We see an almost amoral Harry, who has doubts about the morality of his actions, but weighs them against the needs of the war. He still has the weaknesses of canon, like leaping before looking, but they are tempered by his experiences and new outlook. That's a formula for a good AU, imho.

Plus, for those of you hating all the emo in the early chapters, he ends up being a hard-core badass assassin. The author just took an extraordinary route to get Harry to that place. Epic massive Win.

 

Thanks a lot Tharkun, there is no way I'd of read through that painful stuff. :/

Starting at chapter 17 now!

And, I found his studying schedule fucking retarded in all honesty. If you aren't enjoying what you do, studying that much during a day is probably going to hurt far more than help.

Not to mention, malnutrition makes it far harder to learn/remember/understand stuff.

 

Keep reading Ellisande, the things you criticize will be addressed.

 

So, I just skipped from chapter 7 to 17 with Tharkun's help.

Fucking amazing story, read it in one go pretty much. One of my new favorite Indy!Harry's.

Whats the update rate like? I can't wait for more.

 

Usually a chapter a week, sometimes 2.