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The Wheel Unbroken by TheAnimaniacDude - Game of Thrones / ASOIAF

Discussion in 'Game of Thrones / ASoIaF' started by Otters, Aug 21, 2019.

  1. Donimo

    Donimo Auror

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  2. TheAnimaniacDude

    TheAnimaniacDude Second Year

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    You know it.
     
  3. Odran

    Odran Fourth Champion

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    I'm slowly becoming weary of this story. I suppose a lot of it has to do with the fact that I don't care for the Ironborn at all. Perhaps the overall experience might improve once you've written another ten or so chapters and moved past it, but as it is now, it's not worth the announcements.
     
  4. TheAnimaniacDude

    TheAnimaniacDude Second Year

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    Noted. Sorry you're not having fun. Would you prefer that a time-skip happens to cut out most of the character interactions of the Ironborn arc and moves to near the end?
     
    Last edited: Jul 1, 2020
  5. Donimo

    Donimo Auror

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    Don't be discouraged by the hater.


    I also don't like the Ironborn.
     
  6. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    @TheAnimaniacDude am I missing some implication that everyone already knows your story? Because I don't recall you actually linking it.
     
  7. TheAnimaniacDude

    TheAnimaniacDude Second Year

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    I was pointed to this website by a user who told me that I was being brought up multiple times here and also had a review thread. I also have a link to the story in my profile, but since you asked, it's here: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19003756/chapters/45128014

    Sorry for the confusion.
    --- Post automerged ---
    I don't consider him a hater at all. @Odran raises a valid point about whether the current arc is enjoyable or not. I fully expect a website like DLP to be very honest about quality, and not feel the need to fluff my ego. The current arc has important plot points for the future, but if the amount of fun that people are having with it is decreasing, then I can find a way to speedrun through it while still hitting the targets.

    As long as people are being honest, I'm not offended in the least.
     
  8. Donimo

    Donimo Auror

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    Ah, I didn't mean the criticism so much as the "it's not worth the announcements" which isn't a critique.
     
  9. Spanks

    Spanks Chief Warlock

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    I don’t like the Ironborn either, but that doesn’t mean I’m not enjoying the story so far. I imagine a bit of it has to do with amnesic Jon, and the story not focusing on the Stark’s or King’s Landing. Don’t rush the arc if that isn’t your plan. It’ll only degrade the story. We’ll get back to a Jon with intact memories eventually. For now focus on the Ironborn and their evil ass throne.
     
  10. Dn18

    Dn18 Third Year

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    Finished the chapter. I vote for a timeskip. I was still into it last chapter due to wanting to know what happened with Jon. Also enjoyed the Kraken reveal. Now that that is done I find myself skimming. It is still written well, but I don't really care about not-Jon. I also really don't care about Ironborn politics. I get that this might be about worldbuilding but for me personally its hard to pay attention when I don't care about any of the characters.

    Maybe if there was a hint to how this will impact Jon? Right now it feels somewhat like a side story or What If? scenario.
     
  11. TheAnimaniacDude

    TheAnimaniacDude Second Year

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    Alright. A hint as to how this applies to the greater story. (There are multiple hints in this chapter, but you only asked for one.)

    Pay attention to the scene with Asha and Balon. Pay specific attention to the moments where they're discussing Lodos meeting Victarion. Now, pay attention to Asha's description of both Victarion and Euron, and remember that this is coming from the show continuity. Do you notice something strange? Can you think of anything that might explain this strangeness, both from Canon and from this story's lore?
     
  12. Wyatt Axford

    Wyatt Axford Second Year

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    I think what ultimately matters is - Is Jon going to remember anything from this loop after getting impaled in the head? If this whole arc is just a way to inform the reader what's going on in the Iron Islands then I'd say time skip.

    Having plot progression, character growth, being enjoyable to read are all the marks you have to hit with each story.

    So far -

    plot is progressing (slowly)

    If Jon forgets, he won't have gained any progression, and all progression with side characters will be undone when the loop resets

    A handful of the readers seem not to be interested in ironborn politics

    Like I said, if this is just to inform the reader, there are better ways of doing so.
     
  13. Odran

    Odran Fourth Champion

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    Of course not, don't be silly. I'm just saying that I'm not a fan of the Ironborn. Then again, I wasn't fan of the Yi Ti arc for Purple Days, but I still stuck around for the stuff that came afterward. It probably mostly stems from the fact that the Ironborn whole shtick is reaving and killing and raping. There's no variety to them, no proper depth. Even when confronted with this new interesting thing, that's still the thing their minds focus on. With them, there's no mystery or wonder to the world, it's just vulgarly plain.

    If I was hating, you would know it.
     
  14. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    @TheAnimaniacDude I'm reading throught the first couple chapters and I'm confused, the trip our dastardly duo takes to Dragonstone, is it sanctioned by Ned? Does he know? Did they leave like thieves in the night? And if they did, isn't that a collosally horrible idea?
     
  15. TheAnimaniacDude

    TheAnimaniacDude Second Year

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    If you read on, you'll learn that the trio did indeed leave like thieves in the night. And yes, it IS a colossally horrible idea.
     
  16. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    Meant to say trio :V
     
  17. TheAnimaniacDude

    TheAnimaniacDude Second Year

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    Mmmmmm. I see where you're coming from. I think a time-skip is in order, then. Jump over some of the more fiddly bits and initial set-up, and go right to the parts where things start to go off the rails. Going right to the Comet sounds like a marvelous idea, to see what has changed during the approximate six-months-to-one-year he was there.
     
  18. Nazgoose

    Nazgoose The Honky-tonk ~ Prestige ~ DLP Supporter DLP Gold Supporter

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    Maybe it's because I'm new to this and read it all in one sitting, but it doesn't feel like you're lingering overmuch on the Ironborn to me. I'm not sure how much you had planned, but adding in a timeskip where one wasn't planned for means you're potentially skipping over set up and development that you'll need in the future.

    One guy saying he's not interested in what's going on right now shouldn't be enough for you to change your plans my dude.
     
  19. Fatality

    Fatality Order Member

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    Enjoyed the story so far, it does feel like it's slowed down somewhat but I don't feel strongly about a time skip one way or another. Ironborn do kind of suck but mostly I'm just constantly cringing thinking about the wood in Jon's skull. Makes me super uncomfortable for some reason to be honest, that sort of body horror is probably an inherent characteristic of the timeloop genre though.

    I guess it kind of felt like it went from a climax with the Bloodraven scenes, chasing him being such a strong driving force for the story so far, to side plots less relevant to what's causing the time loop/events of the parts of Westeros we care about. Especially because Jon himself has forgotten about all that. Maybe hearing some more about what's happening on the mainland could help with that, to tie events of this loop back to canon/previous events. I think I remember you were implying something interesting was going on with Ned finding something and Lord Hightower becoming the hand, but it's been a little while since we heard about all that with the focus understandably on the Iron Islanders as they're introduced.
     
  20. Republic

    Republic The Snow Queen –§ Prestigious §– DLP Supporter

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    I went through what's available so far.

    I'm quite shocked, tbh. After the praise, I expected something, if not necessarily very good, then at least substantial. I'm a sucker for time loop stories, as I think a lot of us here are, but aside from the smokescreen of the time loop (which, though interesting, is not an indication of quality) this has left me sorely unimpressed.

    The most interesting bits are during the first few chapters, with Jon going through some time loop motions. The 3ER plot was interesting for a little bit but fizzled out, and everything during and since the cave has been not only nonsensical but also pointless. Yes, Asha's interesting, but all the rest has been a complete nosedive in quality, a 180 in tone and a rather jarring switch in setting and protagonist. 'PEAK MAGIC' I think Animaniac called it. I consider it more like puking on a screen and forming words out of the parts that stick. It reads like a fever dream on crack, but not the fun kind of either.
    I'm sure it will eventually lead somewhere ... but that doesn't excuse how utterly devoid of meaning the latter half has been.

    Technical writing is solid, if bland and unremarkable.

    I'm gonna go ahead with a 2/5 for the slow start and complete jumping of the shark. I'm relatively certain that without the 'time loop' feature as bait, general consensus would also be much lower, but people (including me) will take anything with a time loop at this point.