I agree with most of the points that Sree made about this story. I'm finding that it is very easy to immerse myself into this story. Most of this immersion is very much facilitated by the excellent character development and dialog. The only two points that I find detract from this story are the anachronisms that add absolutely nothing and the author's intention to possibly add slash to it. That being said, if the whole slash angle is handled with the same quality of writing that the rest of this story has it shouldn't be too bad.

 

Slash? With whom? I've only gotten to the fifth chapter, but if it's with Draco or Neville–

 

Where does it mention slash?

If it turns out slash I alter my vote to 1/5.

 

I'm with you on that one.

 

It does however mention it as possible experimentation rather than finding one twu buttsex wuv.

Doubt it'll bother me that much though if the guy handles it in the same way he's been handling the rest of the stuff so far.

 

Meh, I'm not one to say that I don't like slash because it is usually poor writing and characters that make up most slash fics.

I just don't have an appetite for it, probably the same way straight women look at reading femslash. Of course, I don't have much of an appetite for femslash either. Let me know if the author decides to take it the other way, and I'll give it a shot.

 

It was mentioned in chapter 21

 

I must say I wasn't a huge fan of this latest chapter, for 3 reasons.

1. Barty Crouch Jr. is able to do in a few months what Albus Dumbledore, the Ministry, and the Order of the Phoenix combined could not do in over a decade. This is ridiculous because Crouch Jr. is less skilled at magic than these people, he has access to less resources, and knows less about the Muggle world.

2. Harry's stupidity. All through the fic we've been seeing signs of Harry's great intelligence and magical talent: he picks up languages very quickly, he became an animagus at a very young age, he is highly talented at magic, as we have seen. Altogether it paints a picture of intelligence. Harry has also shown considerable common sense in his handling of the prophesy, and his decisions about when to move on from a location and so forth. So for him now to turn around and display the utter stupidity he is showing by ignoring the dreams is inconsistent with his characterisation.

These two points are made all the more annoying for the fact that the author no doubt knows that they're unlikely, but included them nonetheless for the sake of convenience of plot. It's painfully obvious that the author now wants Harry and Sirius to be forced out of hiding, and is sacrificing realism, coherence and good plotting to achieve this end. In my opinion, when the author realised that the method that she has come up with to out Sirius and Harry was poor, she should have gone back to the drawing board and come up with another way, rather than this.

3. The POV. The biggest pull of this story is Harry, Sirius, and their interactions. They've now been abandoned for several chapters on end - risky business.

 

The author could stand to pick up the pace a bit, but overall this is a decent read.

Harry's portrayal is, as has been pointed out, your standard cookie-cutter Indy!Training!Harry.

I am enjoying the way the author is drawing some of the secondary characters, though. Overwhelmed!Neville is hapless and completely uninspiring as the BWL and would-be savior of the wizarding world. Nice. Sirius as a reluctant dad is also pretty compelling stuff. I also LOL at Fangirl!Ginny.

DD seems to be needlessly incompetent, though.

I'm enjoying this, but not enough to continue with it if Harry decides to explore his love of trouser snake.

3.5/5

 

On your first point; everyone just assumed Harry dead when Sirius got a hold of him. Stupid, and likely maybe unrealistic but then again the wizarding world isn't very competent, or intelligent to begin with. Dumbledore didn't find them because he didn't try.

On your second; It's perfectly understandable that Harry wants to believe the dreams are caused by stress. He's afraid. People often try to deny what they're afraid of, and Harry is human. The author mentioned that he doesn't really believe the lies he is telling himself.

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Overall it was a very enjoyable read.

5/5 From me.

 

Everyone assumed Harry dead, yes, but they were still looking to catch Sirius Black, so they were still looking.

I still don't think it's in line with Harry's characterisation to let his fear get in the way of his common sense, which as I said, is one of his defining attributes.

 

The last chapter irked me, too. Crouch being able to track down two of the locations they've visited, if not more, so quickly was unbelievable to me...even though we do know he's resourceful enough to take over Mad-Eye's life in canon.

I'd also agree with Taure about ignoring the dreams, here. Harry in this fic has so far been incredibly intelligent and driven, and talks things through with Sirius, even when neither is happy about them. Why wouldn't he at least discuss the dreams with Sirius, even if they both dismiss them as fear and/or stress? That doesn't make sense to me at all. Oh well, so long as the author keeps up the quality, I guess I can overlook this. And yeah, the Hogwarts students without Harry are interesting, too.

 

I agree, my biggest gripe was the dismissal of RECURRING dreams as a potential threat.

I mean, even with a tiny bit of logic, let's consider:

1. Harry hasn't been characterized as someone who dreams often.
2. These dreams are constantly about similar, but not the exact same, subjects.
3. Harry is not a muggle.

Point being that, if you have a sudden problem, and you have magic, it's fairly safe to initially assume the problem is magic-related, is it not?

Edit: Grammar-Nazi decided to wake up. Whoops.

 

meh. I tried to like this story, but something about it just doesn't sit right with me. I don't like some of the characterizations, most the plot, and some of the cheap contrivances. I couldn't get past the first few chapters.

The writing seemed good, but I just couldn't keep reading it.

2.5/5

 

I liked this story. Good, solid writing. Unfortunately, it lacks that something to make it really stand out.

Stories of this type tend to do very well until Harry gets to Hogwarts, when they bog down and/or abandoned in mass quantities. So this author hasn't received his acid test yet. Although the fact that he mentioned exactly how long this arc would be indicates he's planned things out - a hopeful sign.

Personally, I found them somewhat believable. Sure, it's unrealistic for Sirius to do something as stupid as putting his actual name on a pair of airplane tickets, and it's unrealistic for Crouch to by happenstance meet the one person in Wyoming who's going to tell where Harry and Sirius went, and it's unrealistic for him to find the one temple in Japan where they hung out. But...

O.K. never mind that.

But on the second point, I didn't really see Harry characterized as having that much common sense in his dealings with events; none seem much related to his dreams. It is true that his actions constitute a plot hole, but sometimes, as long as the plot hole is somewhat credible and doesn't destroy the reader's suspense of disbelief (after all, weird things happen in real life too), then it's alright. If the reader can have a plausible excuse, as Stalicon does, then it's not that much a problem.

 

Honestly, I'm torn on this fic. Parts of it I enjoy while others I want to kick a small furry animal over. All in all the concept behind the story, and most of the events I like. The characterization of Sirius and Harry at first was great. Now,....now I feel like this story is bordering on a submission for Teen Weekly. I hope it'll turn around.

3.5/5

 

So the story has been updated. The idea of a guy being involved in Harry's sex life was tossed out as what appears to be a joke...and we come full circle on Lupin's classified ad.

The chapter was kinda short, but one of the issues [Harry's dreams] was finally breached with Sirius, and England definitely looks to be right on the horizon--let's hope the quality doesn't drop because of it. There was the briefest bit of angst here, but since Harry is a teen who knows he has a prophecy and a Dark Lord hanging over his head, I'd say it was done tastefully.

 

This story sounded intriguing to me. I heard the grumblings of others over too much Neville and the non-action. Though personally the non-action doesn’t bother me, I’ve always been more interested in the background things. I don’t care so much for how many times the Heroes run through bushes or have to fight for their lives as I do about them discovering lost treasure or interesting new views of magic. ​

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The pace of this story doesn’t bother me at all. It’s quite captivating really. It’s not heavy or down hearted, it’s slow, I agree, but it’s also smooth. If it could be said that there was such a thing as a female’s touch to fiction, I believe this style would be it. There is an odd sense of mothering loom to this fic, but it’s not invasive. ​

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The connection between Harry and Sirius is by far the best I have seen. The author has a genuine and clear grasp of dialog. There is never a sense that the characters are being used by the author to say something, or explain a story element to the reader. They are simply who they are, and we are simply watching them. It’s a bit voyeuristic, actually. ​

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There is clear talent for personal issues and subtleness within the text itself, it’s never forced on the reader it’s simply there, in that true classy way of writing. ​

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That being said there are things which detract from the story, far too much of it is taken up by everyone at Hogwarts and I find myself skipping entire chapters just to avoid it. I simply don’t care about Neville, Hermione, The Twins or even what Dumbledore is up to. Yes, the original story of the Philospher’s Stone happens at the same time, but I could care less how that’s resolved. I’d be far more willing to have Sirius mention it in passing while reading the news paper in the mornings.

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I was somewhat personally displeased to not have more involvement with magic. Personal story is fine, but I don’t read fantasy for the great chemistry between characters. If I did I’d be watching soap opera, and I’m not. I read fantasy for the adventure and especially the magic. The magic is what holds fantasy together. It’s what holds my interest in a story and it is sadly lacking in this one. ​

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Spoiler

The story suffers at the lack of more shamanistic interaction while Sirius and Harry are at White Valley. It would have been the perfect opportunity to enrich the world Harry is surrounded by. There are small bits of this, yes, but they are far too small and the exposition starts to get heavy because of it. Having Harry introduced to a different view of magic would have held my interest much more firmly.

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Sadly, as the story continues the Hogwarts chapters start to grate on my nerves and that feeling is easily transferred to the moments between Sirius and Harry. There are many more times during the pair’s travels around the world where introductions to different views of magic would have lifted this story higher. The lack of it, makes it simmer, and finally it falls flat. Beautifully crafted, excellently styled and masterfully brought together by the characters. But sadly, all the preparations in the world couldn’t stop this story from sinking. It has folded in on itself like flan in a cupboard.​

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It’s a real shame, because the author knows what she’s doing. The written work is excellent and is deserving of praise. Yet the story itself dies on the very merits that make it so good. It’s a delicate recipe that has gone to waste. ​

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4/5. This story could very well have earned full marks and I would have followed it religiously, if only there was more of that good ol’ magic to it. ​

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Warmly Recommended, but with a hint of reservation.

 

Story's been updated.

Spoiler

Harry's reaction to Kreacher could bring some interesting scenes later on. And for once, Cedric's not dead! I'm curious to see how the author shows how much status he gained for winning.