I am now reading The Dark Wars: Empire's War. My review of the series is below.

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I first began this campaign young and headstrong. I had just finished up at the Academy, graduating respectably, and shaming most of my peers by being better than them. Finding myself in want of a career, and asked by others on the Forum Dark Lord Potter to continue the proud tradition of lulz-providing reviews, I quickly decided to do my duty. At first it was easy. Yes, the story was awful, but it had not yet reached the cringe-worthy horrors that had greeted me during the Kinsfire campaign.

I shudder to think of those dark, haunting, memories. They are memories which still shape my actions to this day.

This was before the students began cheering "RULE BRITANNIA" in the cafeteria. This should have been my first warning that something was amiss. I began to look at the story. Something seemed awry. Yet I shrugged off my concerns and slogged on, only to be bombarded from out of nowhere by the worst Fanfiction improvisation of The Godfather II's simultaneous assassinations in the history of Harry Potter fanfiction. Even worse, it was a major plot device. As our series' protagonist fled to new lands, I was afforded no such luxury. There were still more installments to go.

I knew that I could quit. I could sit around during the day and pirate a movie or two or perhaps some Boondocks episodes. I could watch them, and then perhaps some porn. This seemed a good idea, but then I remembered I HAVE A DUTY! "FOR RAVEN AND DLP!" I cried. As my sudden shout reverberated around the room, I saw what a pigsty it had become. There were books strewn about the floor and my clothing desperately needed to be put away rather than in simple piles of 'clean' and 'dirty.'

I began to clean my room at once, for I could not expect to bring my own queen back to such a shitty living situation. Unfortunately, she was being held captive by her family in Vermont in a sort of concentration camp in which she was required to clean, look after her brothers, and put learning on hold as she too had just fled the Academy. With these things raping her time day in and day out, she was unable to study for the GRE's which she desired to retake due to a poor writing score (one which closely mirrored the one Marquis Black likely received.)

As I continued to plot a way to rescue her from her prison I turned my attention to Marquis Black's portrayal of America. I could not help but wonder: How could someone from a country which would not have existed but for America hate America so much. And then it hit me, Marquis Black did not hate America. He just loved Britain more -- and in ways that were, quite frankly, somewhat unhealthy. As more and more Union Jacks began to appear, I began to wonder about the unhealthy union between Marquis Black's left hand and his crotch. Patriotism is all well and good, but jacking off on a country's flag, to borrow an expression from Marquis Black, crosses the line.

The campaign goes on. I know not when I will finish, but I expect that it will be sometime in the future. Coffee and other stimulants will likely be needed to give me superpowers of endurance. It is said that most human beings have a limit to their natural endurance, but by initiating PROJECT VALKYRIE, I may yet be able to defend myself against Marquis Black's terrible project for long enough to write more of this review.

I pray to whatever Gods there are that it will be enough, for while I love being able to sleep without nightmares of terribly written fanfiction, I have a duty to DLP. For after all, duty is duty; love is love.

FOR RAVEN AND DLP!!!!