Picture. The last thing I want is a Snape sex item.

Ron with boobs or Hermione with a penis?

 

Tranny!Hermione. The're both guys, so you might as well dutchfuck the one with the best tits.

Fantasy!Daphne or PsychoticFem!Harry?

 

PsychoFem!Harry. What can I say? I'm a sucker for green eyes.

DeathBed!McGonagall

or

DeathBed!Figg

 

DeathBed!McG.

At least she'll be able to make sexy cat noises.

David Hasselhoff in Public or the Fat Guy with Leprosy in front of your parents?

 

Hasselhoff with his Knight Rider hairdo. At least he looks girlish.

A sheep or a goat?

 

A Sheep of course. Sheep have fluffy, sexy little tails.

Brosnan or Craig?

 

Brosnan, 'cause Craig is so cool that my willy would freeze off.

Male sheep or female llama (they are fluffy, too, and have similar cute tails)?

 

Sheep.

You can cuddle with a fat fluffy sheep. Llamas tend to be antsy.

A rotten watermelon or a rotten eggplant?

 

The watermelon - if it is really rotten and squishy. An eggplant wouldn't satisfy my needs.

Now, assuming you are on an isle with only goats and llamas and without any sheep:
goat or llama?

 

Llamas.

You got to love the fluffy tails. Plus Goats tend to be violent.

Cat or Dog?

 

Merrill.

Gio would probably lecture me on politics while I'm banging away. Merrill still has gender confusion problems, so it wouldn't be totally gay.

Anal violation by two fat guys in public or blow jobbing half of Manchester United...and swallowing...in front of your father.

 

Anal violation. Beforehand I'd eat loads of Chili con carne and then my acid ass juice would burn their members off.

Raping the tight lovely anus of Xiph0

or

being raped by 28-year-old hot lesbian Swimdraconian​

 

being raped by 28-year-old hot lesbian Swimdraconian


Dumbledore

or

Hagrid

 

Dead!Marilyn Monroe...sans the rotting She was hawt.

Paris Hilton is just butt ugly, I can't find her attractive at all. Maybe its the vacant eyes that somehow still emote "I want cock", or perhaps its the fact that she's just so goddamned ugly...

Back on topic: Ronaldinho or Del Piero? The latter is the correct choice, but still, I'm interested in seeing other opinions

 

Soccer wise Ronaldinho, otherwise Del Piero, Ronaldinho looks like a fucking horse.

 

What do you have against a fucking horse?

And what about the next question?

 

Sheep.

A fat, hairy, recently sexchanged girl with a bad case of yeast infection (and then her ugly ass huge male partner)

or

getting banged up the ass by a horse and donkey and then their female mates + $100

 

I'd take the 100 bucks, buy a Henderson, and test it on both the Horse and the Donkey ... then I'd bang their female counterparts.

A naked, sheared sheep or an unsheared, woolly llama?