err ... can I have both?


Detailed medical examination by Sree or by Tinn?

 

If magic can change the size of one's teeth or cause one to sprout additional body parts, it can surely erm... change one's virility.

---

Dumbledore appeared unfazed even at the sight of his wrinkled dick limp and flaccid as a Flobberworm. Instead, he drew out his wand with a speed and grace that belied his age.

With an intense look of concentration of his face, he pointed the wand at his dick and uttered, with an accompanying twitch of his wand, "Phallus Erectus!" The spell was immediately followed up with another, "Phallus Engorgio", after which Dumbledore shifted his gaze back up to Half-Blood Prince.

The relieved expression on HBP's face quickly turned into one of shock, and more than a little bit of fear at the sight of Dumbledore's dick- now fully erected, almost half a meter in length and as thick as an arm. Every wrinkle, ridge and vein was clearly visible to HBP, despite him cowering a few feet away and backing off ever further.

Dumbledore's eyes now twinkled madly and his face, usually calm and serene, took on an uncharacteristic feral look. He licked his lips, all the while eyeing HBP, who was now cowering in a pool of urine.

"Y helo thar buttseckz!" That was all Dumbledore said as he slowly walked towards HBP, who looked on the verge of fainting.

---

Back on topic, I choose Tinn. The French have their ways, if you know what I mean.

Being locked in a sealed room with a diseased, sex-crazed Ginny

or

being chained in a torture chamber with a bunch of Death Eaters, with you being a Mudblood.

 

Torture. Torturetorturetorture!

Horny McG who has just been given catnip

or

Prof. Trelawney after too much gin?

 

Horny Mcgonagall, though I'd make her take some polyjuice of Hermione while in cat form... Hawt.

Walking in on your parents havig sex

or

Your parents walking in on you having sex

???

 

Walking in on parents. You can drink bleach to get rid of that image, nothing will get rid of your mother if she finds out something.

Would you rather:

Do the Patil Twins

or

Kill Ginny with kitchenware?

 

Patil Twins. Ginny killing's been done to death so far, what's one more gonna hurt?

Who'd you rather do:

Petunia

or

Fleur, but she's been dead for 5 hours?

 

Depends, what position was Fleur when rigor mortis set in?

Bleh, anyhow, you get to chose between a walking corpse and a regular corpse. Might as well choose the good looking one.

 

I hate when people don't leave a question....

Would you rather fall in love with someone only to find out later than they have:

a fetish for shit

or

genital herpes

????

 

the herpes - at least I can try to keep it oral...well one-sided anyway. The shit is just far too disgusting and, you know - unhygienic for me to think about...

lose both arms?

lose both testicles? (for the ladies, just relate it to your significant other)

 

Testicles, I could always have a painless operation, and as a plus I won't have to worry about knocking some gal' up.

I couldn't live without my arms though, this was a hard choice, but being able to pick shit up, play games, and the variety of other things you can do with hands, and therefore arms, is too much fun to give up.


Getting trapped in a H-game

Or

Getting trapped in a porno

 

Heart surgery. Painless, you get a cool scar, and it's a great excuse for skipping things.

"Why were you off work this past month?"

a)"I had open heart surgery."
b)"I had an enema..."

One gets laughs, one gets sympathy.

Would you rather:

Actively and enthusiastically participate in a furry convention

or

learn Klingon? (The full language, fluently.)

 

Learn Klingon. This could be done discreetly, with no one knowing save for myself. My social status would remain the same (as opposed to becoming a furfag).

Kill someone and live a normal life until dying horribly

or

Not kill someone, but suffer until you fight an unbeatable opponent, thus dying horribly?

 

Kill someone and live a normal life until dying horribly.

Raped by Ginny with all manner of STDs and gankiness.

or

Raping a 10 yoear old.

 

This is too easy, raping a Ten year old, defiantly.

Seriously though, Ginny's been done to death. (That pun was unintended, I swear!)


Living a live Tentacle Rape-athon

or

A month hog-tied on the floor of a prison washroom.

 

Tentacle-rape. With me being the monster.

Living in an Emo-Harry fic,

or

Living in The Office?

 

Emo!Harry, though I'd try to be a minor character.

Bellatrix/Narcissa/Andromeda
or
Fleur/Tonks/Daphne

 

Fleur/Tonks/Daphne

Older women would turn me on less and how can you turn down a veela AND a metamorphagus?

Being forced to take part in a deranged fangirl's fantasies

or

Being raped by a tentacled monster?

 

Deranged fangirl's fantasies. Tentical monsters have a tendency of shooting explosive purple laser cum (what, never seen Overfiend?). The survival chances are simply higher.

Waking up in a cheep Vegas hotel married to Ginny

or


Waking up in a cheep Vegas hotel married to Umbridge