The fact that somebody not named Joe or Nuhuh wrote a piece involving Harry/voldebabette without degenerating it into pointless smutfest alone makes it worthy of a recommendation. This story has some crucial points going for it, a plot and reasonable character interaction being foremost among them. This story definitely sets itself apart by not following the path of "Vermilion and Alabaster". At the same time, it doesn't take itself too seriously either, which allowed for some levity.

But, as I said earlier, the author is neither Joe nor Nuhuh. His prose isn't flowing, grandiose or epic; sometimes the setting seems to lack the intensity the situation demands. The characters, while interesting (and not cardboard pieces), aren't quite as deep as they could be.

Given the story has set itself up for a dramatic flourish, it would be unfair to judge the story right now (the antagonist hasn't even shown his/her(?) face yet). Also, given the summery mentions something happening to Harry for the second time, I think the story still hasn't shown it's true shock value to us.

3~4/5. I hope in time I can safely rate the story a 5.

 

To be honest though, it's hardly fair to compare this story to Joe or Nuhuh's stuff, rather than judging it on it's own merits.

 

I had to pick a standard to measure fanfic. I couldn't very well pick Tolkeins now, could I?

Given that DLP strives for betterment, I see no harm in measuring everything against DLP's best. Besides, wouldn't it be good if everybody tried to write like Nuhuh?

 

Allow me to interject: I don't measure myself against Joe or Nuhuh because my writing style is nothing like theirs and I don't strive to make it so, either. If anything, writers like VotN, mira mirth, GL, Santi, and occasionally Swim are my inspiration.

 

I'm sure with time and practice, you'll write as well as your inspirations, given how you progressed.

 

Everything seems to go so fast. I can't really comment on the grammar, but there were no glaring mistakes popping up for me on that point.

There is something missing though. I think it has to do with the fast pace of the story, we don't get enough time to understand what just happened that you throw something else at us. It also seems like we don't have the time to adjust to the character either, but that is my interpretation.

I'd give this a 3.5/5 so rounding on 3/5 because there is still a lot of work to be done.

 

Woo, library!

Gonna go write or something.

 

T3t, If you don't update in the next 3 days, I am gonna find where you live and .......

 

Be a faggot?

 

Thank you, Custer... it wasn't quite three days, but here you go. Chapter 9 has been posted on FFN.

 

First things first I hated Fem-Riddle keeping the name Tom.

It seems that harry was won over too easily into thinking that for whatever reason she won't be a threat in the future. I would like point out that harry training with her is more that a bit naive and foolish....

My reasons being that even if she views the older version of herself as Counter to her plans, that could just mean that she doesn't want any compititon. Her (Riddle) having negative emotions toward her older version or being compared to her doesn't mean that she is repulsed or disagrees with her older versions idea's in regards to "Inferior People" (Muggles & Muggle-borns or Blood-Traitors).

All it could mean is that she is repulsed by the idea that she might have lost herself the Dark magic.

Also that Harry seem to just overlook the fact that riddle is still a premeditated Murdering (Creation of the Horcrux anyone), that she also sicked a 60 odd foot killer snake onto a school full of children. That she would also grow to be a even more sadistic murderer whom killed his parents. All these point/issues seem to either be glossed-over/Side-stepped/overlooked for the sake of the story. All this is compounded by the fact that Harry doesn't/didn't know what her unbreakable vows to Dumbledore entail. I would much rather these issue be addressed, it would make for a more interesting and realistic story.

However that might just be me being cynical, cold-hearted untrusting SOB lol..... I get little frustrated when I think a character is being quite gullible and naive.

Despite all that strangely enough I quite enjoyed the story. I'll give it a 3/5


( I Know that this is a really old/dead thread by i just wanted to add my own thoughts on the story)

 

I quite enjoyed this. Good characterizations and dialogue.

4/5 for technical errors and the final battle seeming a bit too "easy"

 

This story was a breath of fresh air. I thoroughly enjoyed it and give it a 4/5.

Some minor issues that others have already mentioned are Harry not knowing the details of Riddle's vows and still trusting her and the ease with which Voldemort is defeated.

I was also expecting something more from the epilogue. Maybe not 2.5 kids and a white picket fence but maybe 7th year progress and post Hogwarts plans.

Also, was I the only one hoping for some smut?

Great job T3t.

 

Wow, it's been a while.

Here's some FutureAU!Thunderstorm smut.

 

Well, you've just made it all sticky.

edit: wait that wasn't new

edit: fFFFFFFFUUUUUUU

 

You are such a tease, T3t.

 

Damn. The best thing I got from that is that you might make a sequel. Any news on that?

 

Um... no. There was another H/Fem!Riddle story I was working on that got stalled about 5% in, but it was a bad idea to begin with. Any possible sequel I can envision to this would be an overwhelmingly political story, but I have better ideas for political!Harry fics if that's what I wanted to do. Sorry

 

Considering your post in the politics subforum...

don't do it.

 

Post? You mean posts? Rest assured you would like my political stories.