Fuck that guy. Seriously. Fuck that guy.

He wounded my internet pride back in 2004 and I've never gotten over it.

Heh. Well... TBH, he's a douchebag.

Fuck that guy.

Fuck that guy and all that he holds dear.

 

Distaff side is fairly amusing. Like Ashaya said, our Harry gets sent to an alternate dimension where everyone's gender is flipped, as well as a lot of cultural norms.

Try to imagine what it would be like to have a female Harry come into the canon world and rip Malfoy's balls off while flipping off the Dark Lord, and you've got a vague idea of Distaff. There is a cliche or two, but nothing horrible.

 

I laughed so hard. I just had to say that.

 

Joehundredaire's unique version of feminism:

Joehundredaire > Lesbians > Animals > Men other than Joehundredaire > Straight women.

 

I normally don't, but I make exceptions for PerfectLionheart and JoeHundredaire, who are cut from the same cloth. (And LessWrong, I suppose, though for different reasons). There's simply no way to enjoy stories by either author because their internet personae are such cunts. I'll spoiler the rest of my comments because several of us have been subjected to too much JoeHundredaire over the years.

Spoiler

JoeHundredaire's the kind of person who after any interaction, you want to shake your head, say, "Go choke on a bunch of dicks," and wish for those five minutes of your life back. The guy hangs out on SpaceBattles with his loyal circle-jerkers/worshipers and the only thing they seem able to talk about is which Mary Sue in Joe's latest never-to-be-completed story should bang which other: "Ooh, femmeslash--pardon me while I go masturbate." Consequently, their HP threads, which used to have the occasional decent story rec, have been made all but worthless; the village idiot is the de facto mayor and anyone who might have something to contribute has left in in frustration.

JoeHundredaire tried to come to DLP once to play the whole internet tough guy act before getting the bitchslapping he deserved. (If you look, the thread is probably still in Hall of Shame). It goes without saying that any passing mention of DLP on a site he haunts triggers an immediate, longwinded, self-aggrandizing rant. The episode with getting the ff.net mods to pull Shezza's account over misused commas or some such is apparently his life's grandest achievement, since he brings it up every. single. time.

 

I did hate it. You can practically feel the author's smugness leaking out of the narrative, and Harry is a ridiculously explicit self-insert. The author tries too hard to make Harry cool--way too hard. And the story lacks a logical progression, especially when it comes to Harry's thought process. It took him, literally, less than 20 minutes to figure out he was in an alternate reality.

I really don't recommend this story, or perhaps only as a guilty pleasure.

EDIT: Apparently the author has history with DLP. Go figure. From what I got out of his profile and this story, I'm not surprised.

 

I think there are more half a dozen different versions of Harry Potter and the Second Life floating around on FF.net, with alienyouthct's version being one of the poorest ones.

I liked the original by SilverAegis a lot, until he abandoned it.
Trouble is that every god damn author who is trying to continue the storyline or create their own version of it, never gets much further than the original author before they give it up as a lost cause, abandons it or puts it on hiatus, indefineatly.

There is another version of it by smarties28 that is still active.
http://www.fanfiction.net/s/6644695/1/Harry_Potter_The_New_Life

And while it is slightly better imo, smarties28 is, by the looks of it, making it a Harry/Harem fic with the chicks in his harem being his mother and all his younger sisters.
Between Harry and his twin brother Bill, whom happens to be an immortal, asexual demigod banished to earth and reborn in a human body that jumps in and saves the day whenever needed, there isn't much room for anything vaguely resembling opposition.

If there at least were some good incestious smut scenes somewhere in there, it could be worth reading, but no, sadly there isn't.

 

I tried asking alienyouthct why he writes a wizarding world that is so pathriarcy(sp?). I pointed out that there is no gender discrimination and women are free to do whatever they wish after graduation.
The answer I got was that Fleur, Ginny and Hermione quit work after they had kid's, and then I got blocked from sending messages.

 

Wow, rage. Never poking that again.

 

I thought the original was already really weak. The story idea was interesting but Silveraegis's execution was a disappointment and the ridiculous thing in all the rewrites I've tried nobody ever really tried to fix the original's problems but just added their own brand of crap to the mix. The fic is cursed

 

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2706861/1/Out_of_Shadow

The technical writing is quite good and the OC well developed (same author has written "Twelve Dark Moons", a fic sitting in the romance section of the DLP library) . If you can stand OC/TR romance with a time travel backround, this is for you.

 

Someone may have mentioned this one already, but esama's Unsealed is a good time-travel one-shot.
After fifty years, the trial records of a special prisoner are unsealed and the details and motives of the most well known magical murder are revealed. Time travel Azkaban story, some character deaths mentioned, spoilers.
Harry Potter - Rated: T - English - Adventure/Crime - Chapters: 1 - Words: 4,962 - Reviews: 259 - Published: 9-10-10 - Harry P. - Complete

 

^^That one is excellent, despite a few errors in spelling/word choice. Distaff Side was pretty good too, as was Ruin. Warrior's Heir is alright, though some of his ideas seem poorly thought out.

 

http://www.fanfiction.net/s/5563863/1/Harry_Potter_and_the_Root_of_all_Evil
HP/RR time travel fic. During Harry's limbo trip in the Forbidden Forest, Harry is faced with two choices; to die, or be sent back 1000 years to stop the Root of All Evil before it can manifest itself. Harry chooses to live and emerges in the unknown
Rated: M - English - Adventure/Fantasy - Chapters: 15 - Words: 139,875 - Reviews: 522 - Updated: 2-27-11 - Published: 12-7-09 - Harry P. & Rowena R.

It's not in the library, but it is one of my favorites. It starts off kinda meh, but it really picks up after the first six chapters. You can see the author getting better as he writes, but the story probably should be rewritten and it is overdue for an update. And he should get a beta.

 

Look, dude, there's nothing wrong with recommending your own story when it fits the story search, but it's just fucking creepy to keep referring to yourself in the third person. Just be straight up about it; it's not like we don't all know that this is your fanfic. (One of your favorites lawl)

:facepalm

 

Yeah, your ffn nick doesn't make it obvious or anything.

 

Lol Anarchy you just got called out.

 

It's not like I was trying to hide it o_0 It was as about as unsubtle as possible.

 

No, as unsubtle as possible is what Persp did.
By referring to yourself as some other guy, you were trying to hide it.

 

Nah, I could tell you were lampshading yourself. It was pretty funny, tbh.