Part of this will be the fact that Neville is NOT Harry. He's not going to be magically producing Patroni in his third year, he's not going to be the DADA genius that Harry is.

I agree that reading training is boring. Harry is going to end up having his own set of problems to deal with, attempts to steer Slytherin house towards the light.

One of the problems that Harry will encounter is that he and Dumbledore will work together using his memories of his own world to help correct other issues. This will inevitably create problems as this world becomes more and more AU and Harry's memories of events become less and less similar to this reality.

Oh, by the way, Harry will be traveling back in time involuntarrily, but I still haven't thought of a not-very-cliche manner for him to go back. Curses hitting Time Turners sounds stupid to me. Suggestions, as always are appreciated.

What do you all think of a later Daphne pairing? Hermione will obviously figure out Harry's secret at some point, and I want maybe Daphne to as well. Ron is going to be as much of a thorn in Harry's side as Malfoy is. Everything Harry does will be treated as some EVIL SLYTHERIN PLOT! Hermione will be more reasonable, and Neville will be Neville.

 

As opposed to physically producing them? Mentally producing them? Spiritually producing them?

As for the travelling back in time, if you go with the post-DH Hermione, have her discover a spell which promises to "right the wrongs" or something like that, and have her decide it would be a good burfday pressy for ickle Harrikins.

Daphne pairing would be ok, so long as it was later, unimportant, and didn't revolve around the the idea "We are Slytherins, therefore...ergo...Q...E...D... we must be ever so upright and proper about it, and you would make a good match for me and I would make a good match for you." Have it as a natural teenage romance.

 

DOH! Without even thinking, I used the term "magically" as a sort of "arbitrarily".

That's an interesting idea about the time travel.

Yes, Daphne will be definitely later, and more to the point, anciliary.

 

Okay, here are some thoughts as I have been mulling this over through my head over the past couple of weeks. This is the basic outline, but if anyone has some suggestions, as to what I could put in there for some filler material. This outline only addresses the key moments in the first book, and there is plenty of space for Slytherin interaction. I decided that I wanted him to re-form the "trio," but it would be the Quartette. Sorry, for those of you who hate Ron or Hermione, or both. I can see more potential for interaction with the Weasley twins, though; he freaks them out to no end.

---

The final battle is over with, the light side has won, but at great cost. The trio decides to enter their seventh year properly beginning on Sept. 1st of the next year. During the year, Hermione begins devising a spell that she thinks will help set things right, or at least, significantly reduce the losses for the light side. She spends nearly every free moment of time on arithmantical calculations and rune arrangements to create this spell.

When she believes she is finished, she tells Harry and after a LOT of deliberation, and arguments, Harry finally agrees to do it on New-years day. Supposedly, the spell will send Harry back in time, INTO his younger self. The spell is basically supposed to create a split-off in the time continuum such that this world will cease to exist and the new timeline will go according to how Harry changes it. As long as he changes things for the better, then it will not matter that the entire timeline ceases to be after the point in time where Harry arrives.

Unfortunately, Hermione did not take into account is how Harry would retain any memories of a time-line that does not exist. She may be smart, but even she is capable of making mistakes. When Harry undergoes the spell, it actually sends him into a separate dimension that has always existed, parallel to his own, back in time to New-years day 1990. Sadly, his home-timeline never ceases to be. Traveling through time to him is similar to Portkey travel for him and when the swirling stops, he sees that he is in the familiar cupboard under the stairs of #4 Privet drive. His memories of this new timeline and his old timeline assimilate and he realizes that nothing is really different, that he can tell - only that he is back in 1990 and that he had another shitty Christmas and new-years.

He goes to the bathroom and while he is washing his hands, he sees in the mirror that he no longer has the lightning bolt scar. He quickly finds his Aunt in the kitchen and asks her if she ever heard of a man named Dumbledore. Scared that their lies have been exposed and that Harry might bring the wrath of HIS kind down upon them, she answers affirmatively. When he asks if the note that came with him on the doorstep said anything about special protections, and she answers in the negative, he decides to abandon the Dursleys as quickly as possible.

He finds his uncle and tells him that if he wants never to see Harry again, he will give Harry enough money to get to London in a cab, as well as a few nights stay in a cheap hotel. Vernon happily agrees.

Harry takes the money, gets a cab to the Leaky Caldron, reserves a room for the next couple of nights, and enters Diagon Alley.

At an Owl Post, he writes to Dumbledore and tells him to come to the Leaky Caldron for an emergency chat, and to bring Harry's vault-key and a Pensive. No more than about five hours later, Dumbledore Floos to the LC and meets Harry there. Harry takes Dumbledore up to his room and he has Dumbledore cast silencing charms and notice-me-nots as well.

Harry begins showing Dumbledore various key events in his life to prove who he is. Harry finds out from Dumbledore that Neville Longbottom is the BWL. Harry is surprised to find that Sirius Black is in prison in this timeline too. However, while no one thinks he betrayed the Potters, or ever joined Voldemort, they do believe that he went after Peter Pettigrew to kill him (and believe that he succeeded) when Pettigrew betrayed the Longbottoms. Dumbledore is unsure what to do with this valuable resource. He decides to do what he did with Trelawney: take him to Hogwarts and make it his home.

Harry and Dumbledore come to an agreement: Harry will provide information, spy on Slytherin (he knows he can get in if he has resorted), and guidance for Neville to help him avoid the unnecessary problems Harry had to suffer through. In return, Harry will be granted full membership into the Order of the Phoenix, which Dumbledore decides to resurrect early, unfettered access to the restricted section of the library; be allowed his invisibility cloak; and finally, he will be able to register for an advanced curriculum to finish his seventh year.

Dumbledore says okay to the first two, with some reluctance on the first. He decides that he can trust Harry, who literally died for the Wizarding world and came back to defeat Voldemort. He was going to return the invisibility cloak to him anyway. On the last point, however, he tells Harry that he will have to create a ruse to convince the other professors to allow him to take the advanced courses. He will also have to take Arithmancy and Ancient Runes. Harry agrees.

Harry and Dumbledore then begin discussing plans. After a while, they realize that some of the things they would like to do are not possible yet. For example, they will not be able to gather the Horcruxes all together. Tom Riddle's diary is still in the possession of Lucius Malfoy, for example. They also decide that they need to get Sirius out of prison as soon as possible if he is in fact innocent. Later, Dumbledore begins filing to have a full trial with Veritaserum for Sirius.

Dumbledore and Harry make a trip to Gringotts to get some cash for Harry and he goes and buys his school supplies. Dumbledore takes the Philosopher's Stone out himself.

Ollivander is curious as to why this boy would get the Holly and Phoenix feather wand (and not the BWL), but shrugs it off. He surprises Harry, informing him that he got one of three wands that share a core from Fawkes. It seems that fate was determined for him to have his Holly wand, and yet also determined to make the brother-wand connection between the BWL's wand and that of Voldemort's. Dumbledore tells Ollivander that when Neville comes in, to try the third Fawkes-core wand first.

Later, Harry expresses his concerns that Grandma Longbottom will force Neville to use his Dad's wand, and that his former friend, Ron did poorly until he got a new wand too. Dumbledore decides to pass a new rule at school, in the interest of the students' practical achievement, of course: from the beginning of next year, no one is allowed a wand that did not choose them in front of an approved wandmaker. Dumbledore hopes this will solve those problems.

Harry asks Dumbledore if it is possible to remove "the Trace" from him. Dumbledore suspects that the Trace might have been removed by Harry's traveling, and performs a spell that checks. They discover that the Trace did in fact disappear when Harry's eighteen-year-old soul was absorbed into his ten-year-old body.

Finally, they visit Harry's parents in St. Mungos. It looks like Harry is cursed not to live with his own parents no matter what.

Dumbledore takes Harry back to Hogwarts. Harry is given his invisibility cloak and set up in the Room of the Requirements. He is told that he cannot leave the room without his invisibility cloak on. Dumbledore teaches Harry Occlumency while he studies on his own to fill in the gaps of his previous education, and sits in on the Arithmancy and Ancient Runes classes in secret.

The time comes for Harry to receive his Hogwarts letter and Minerva McGonagall comes running into Dumbledore's office demanding to know why his Hogwarts letter is addressed to "Hogwarts: The Room of Requirements". Dumbledore Obliviates her.

Harry goes to Kings Cross Station to take the train back to his home in Hogwarts, so that he can keep up appearances.

At the station, Harry meets the Weasleys and introduces himself fully to them. The Twins begin looking at Harry very oddly. When they go to put their luggage on the train, he follows them, tells them that they need to talk and to meet him in the kitchens that night. On the train, Harry meets Ron and after Hermione comes in asking about Trevor, and leaves, Harry excuses himself to go to the bathroom. In the bathroom, he opens the door wide enough for a toad and Accios Trevor. Finds Hermione and Neville and gives back the toad, and invites the two of them back into the compartment he was in with Ron.

They end up talking about which house they are going to be in, and Hermione says she would like Gryffindor or Ravenclaw. Ron says he will probably be in Gryffindor. Neville is unsure, but guesses Hufflepuff. Harry surprises them all when he says that he will be in Slytherin. Ron scoffs and claims that there was not an evil wizard that was not from Slytherin. Harry points out that Peter Pettigrew, the man who betrayed Neville's parents, was a Gryffindor. Ron's Rat, Scabbers, bites Harry's finger. He then reassures Ron that besides, they are all friends now, right? If Slytherin kids are doing wrong, then he will let them know.

Hermione is sorted into Gryffindor along with Ron and Neville. Harry is sorted into Slytherin.

That night, a pair of confused Weasley twins enter the kitchens and find Harry there waiting. He has a rather old looking tome. He tells them that he has a trade for them. Snape can never seem to be pranked and that is because he uses Legilimency on them. He then explains that he would like his Father's map so that he can duplicate it, and they will get it back, and in exchange for lending him the map, he will let them read the book he is holding: Occlumency: The Arte of Protecting the Mind. Finally, he tells them that once they have totally mastered it, he will explain to them why the found him sitting in the Library for hours on end during the last term when he wasn't even a student yet, and how he knows about the map. They are at first a little reluctant to trust him, but they realize that he seems to know a lot more about what is going on than they do. Harry kindly tells them about the Marauders, leaving out parts he felt needed to be kept secret.

Harry takes the map to Dumbledore and they work on reproducing it, one for Harry, and one for Dumbledore.

They open the map and sure enough, they find Peter Pettigrew in Gryffindor Tower next to the name Ron Weasley. Aurors are called in and the Rat is revealed to be Peter that night in the tower. With this development, Sirius is soon freed.

Three weeks later, Harry and Dumbledore have their own copies, with added protections such as indestructibility, and un-Accio-able on all three maps. They also add to all three a "self-evolving" and a communication charm so that if one map happens to enter an as-of-yet unexplored part of the castle, it will add that part to the map and send the same schematics to the other two maps.

Everyone in his house is amazed at the way Harry is able to navigate the secret passageways to get from the common room to any other place in the castle quickly and efficiently. Draco decides to go with his own group and arrive to their classes several minutes later. This establishes Harry as a sort of default leader of the Slytherin first-years.

Harry performs brilliantly in class. He often gets the spells done no sooner than the professors tell them to begin working on it. He also performs the counter spell as quickly (if there is one), and goes around helping others with the work. Drawing on his experience in the DA, most of the students find him a better teacher than the actual professors. He soon gets the nickname, Prof. Potter, or just Prof. Unfortunately, in Potions, Snape still treats him badly, but despite Snapes best efforts to distract him or yell at him, he always produces perfect potions. Harry has taken to pairing with Daphne Greengrass in Potions. Snape, who does not want to mark his other Slytherins down unfairly, grudgingly accepts Harry's potions and grades them fairly. After a few weeks, he begins to realize that his arch-nemesis' son is nothing like his father, and everything like his potions-genius mother. He still does not like Harry.

Harry is setting up the plausibility needed to show his professors that he can skip several grades. He is often found in the library, and when those who approach him care to look notice that he is reading sixth and seventh-year texts.

Harry hangs out with them when he is not in the Library and mentions that since Quirrell is not teaching them anything, he tells them that he can help them learn. By now, Hermione is un-skeptical of such a claim after his brilliant performances in his classes. He coaches them all in defense and soon other kids from Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, and Ravenclaw come and practice with him in the courtyard. Several Slytherins do as well, curious as to what he is doing.

Draco's little group consists only of Crabbe, Goyle, and Pansy Parkinson.

During the flying lessons, Neville breaks his wrist, and Harry rescues his Remembrall. McGonagall goes and gets Snape to deal with Harry and when she explains what Harry did, Snape says he will deal with it appropriately, then finds Marcus Flint and tells him to "fire" his seeker because Potter will replace him. Flint is skeptical and decides to be especially hard on him when he sees what Harry can do. Naturally, Harry is able to prove, despite the rough treatment, that he is very skilled.

Snape, unfortunately, demands that Harry buy his own broom. Harry makes a deal with Flint: if Harry can win the first game of the season with just a school broom, then the Quidditch team must buy him a Nimbus 2000. Flint grudgingly accepts the proposal.

Neville comes to Slytherin table to thank Harry for saving his Remembrall, and when Draco insults Harry and Neville, Neville challenges Draco to a wizard's duel.

Harry later tells Draco in the common room that Neville is a veritable defense genius and threatens to tell everyone the next morning in the Great Hall that Draco forfeited the duel if he does not show up. Over confident, Draco says he will win and demands that Harry come with him to see him prove it.

Neville, Ron, and Hermione show up to the duel. Harry referees the duel. Neville disarms and Stupefies Draco in five seconds flat and then does the same to Crabbe. Harry kicks over a suit of armor to attract Filch. Just as Filch enters the room, Harry, hiding with Neville and Ron under his invisibility cloak, Enervates Draco and Crabbe.

Harry takes Neville and Ron over to the 3rd Floor and shows them the dog. Harry says he found it in his exploring. He knew Hermione would see the trap door, and he leads them out before the dog can figure out what opened the door. Harry escorts Neville, Ron, and Hermione back to the common room and then returns to his own. While Draco is getting the piss taken out of him by McGonagall, Harry is sharing an edited version of the story, where Harry noticed Filch coming when they left, with the rest of Slytherin house. While some of the first years think that Harry betrayed his fellow Slytherin, the rest feel that it was a very Slytherin thing to do. Harry also reminds them that he was not Draco's second, Draco did accept the challenge, and Harry had warned him that Neville would wipe the floor with him. If they lose points, it is Draco's fault, not Harry's fault. After this, Pansy Parkinson too begins hanging out with Harry.

Harry gets the friends together and throws a surprise birthday party for Hermione on the 19th.

Things progress normally until Halloween. While Ron is much friendlier with Hermione, he still has a jealous streak, and his frustration with Hermione and Harry's phenomenal ability in school finally boils over in Charms class. Harry is not there, but he ends up telling Hermione where she can shove her proper pronunciation of Wingardium Leviosa after class.

When Harry does not see Hermione at the feast, he excuses himself to the bathroom, pulls out his map, and finds her name located in the bathroom where the troll attacked them the first time around. He notices that Quirrell has entered the Great Hall and watches as Neville, followed by Ron go running off from the stream of names headed towards Gryffindor Tower.

He meets them in the bathroom and without thinking, Avada Kedavras the troll. The three friends look at him in horror and he stupefies them. After sending a bludgeoning hex into its head he Obliviates them, and enervates them with false memories of dropping the club on the troll's head with a Wingardium Leviosa performed by Ron. When the other professors find him, he explains that he just found them just as Ron's spell dropped the club on the troll's head. Ron earns Gryffindor fifteen points for his bravery and able spell work. Ron is haled as the hero of Gryffindor after this, and he apologizes to Hermione for blowing up at her.

Harry tells Snape to get his leg looked at, since it looked like a nasty dog bite. If he was seen limping around the classroom, people might suspect that he was . . . up to something. Snape tells Harry to mind his own business. However, he quickly limps his way up to the Headmaster's office and claims that Potter knows about the Cerberus. Dumbledore's eyes twinkle conspiratorially and he simply says that he trust Harry completely. Snape is flabbergasted but grudgingly returns to his quarters without further argument.

When his friends approach him about seeing Snape limping from the bite he got from Fluffy, Harry assures them that he believes that Snape is not after the stone. They ask him how he knows, and he says that they should be looking in a different direction and that just because Snape is a greasy git, that does not mean he is trying to steal the stone.

As agreed, Harry uses a school broom during the game. The team is horrified and thinks they have no chance. Harry tells them to remember the deal they had. He purposely chose the most beat up, horrid broom to fly. During the game, Harry makes sure to show everyone just how skilled he is despite the broom, by performing a Wronski Feint. After Slytherin's third foul, Harry gets Flint to call a time-out. Down on the field, Harry yells at his team and tells them that if they even so much as accidentally get even one foul after that, he will quit the team mid-game. At the look of utter rage and seriousness on his face, the rest of his team is cajoled into playing a clean game. After that, Slytherin still manages to win by 320 points when Harry catches the snitch.

Back down on the field, the twins from the Gryffindor team approach Harry. They seem conflicted, but settle for shaking his hand and asking him what he said to get Slytherin to play clean, and when he told them, they laughed heartily and then congratulated him on his win. They tell him that they will make sure Gryffindor knows what he did for their team so that the Gryffindors do not give him too much trouble for burying them in Quidditch.

Harry had long since gotten back the book, Occlumency: The Arte of the Mind, and so set about using a copy-quill to make three complete copies. After returning the book to its place in the restricted section, he bound the three copies with a spell. He penned a Christmas greeting and a small explanation of why he was sending them this book.

Neville and Ron decided to stay at Hogwarts for Christmas. Harry Hermione her present by owl, and then snuck into the Gryffindor common room and laid the presents at the feet of Ron and Neville's beds.

At breakfast, on Christmas day, Ron and Neville thanked Harry for the books, though Ron said he might need to ask for help understanding any of it. Harry told them to meet him outside their common room later that night.

That night, Harry escorted them under invisibility cloak to the room with the Mirror of Erised. Ron saw himself as Head Boy and Quidditch Captain. He even blurted out that he saw a seventh year Harry in the background cursing his loss of the Quidditch cup. Harry laughed. Neville was quiet, and mumbled that he saw his parents. When they asked Harry what he saw, he looked and told them that he saw his parents, healthy and sane. He did not tell them that he saw Cedric Diggory, Sirius Black, Dumbledore, Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks, Mad Eye Moody, Fred, and Hedwig too. He knew that the people (and animal) alive today, were not the ones he saw die in his own timeline. He puts a hand on the mirror and tells them that he is doing his best for them.

Afterwards, Harry tells Dumbledore that he showed the mirror to Neville, and that Dumbledore will need to relocate it. Several days later, Dumbledore catches Neville staring longingly into the mirror and explains its significance.

The spring term begins and "Prof Potter" has long since expanded his tutoring of everyone in defense to tutoring all of them in just about every subject, especially potions tutoring for the Gryffindors. Hermione helps him with tutoring everyone.

Harry continues winning Quidditch games for Slytherin. As promised, they all chip in and buy him a Nimbus 2000. He also keeps forcing them to play clean. Members of houses that do not have to root for their own teams, begin rooting for Slytherin too for the first time in decades.

The tutoring sessions that have nearly all first-years working together and Harry's ability to get Slytherin to play clean games and still win causes friendships to develop across house lines. Dumbledore and the staff are dually impressed with Harry. Flitwick is the first to recommend that Potter be bumped up a grade, if not several. McGonagall adds in that Harry's abilities seem to go beyond prodigious.

Late in April, the four of them are sitting around Hagrid's hut watching a dragon egg hatch. Malfoy catches them.

After Ron is bitten, and after he finally goes into the hospital when it is infected, Harry agrees to help Hermione and Neville take Norbert up to the tower for Charlie to pickup. This time, however, Harry borrows some dung-bombs from the Weasley twins. He keeps everyone under his cloak and the three of them stay in the tower and wait for Malfoy and Filch to come. Harry stupefies them both. Harry plants the dung-bombs on Malfoy and Obliviates Filch, and makes him believe he just caught Malfoy accepting a secret order of dung-bombs. Just as they are leaving, Harry enervates them both. The three make it back to their rooms safely, and the next morning, it is revealed that Malfoy lost a hundred points for Slytherin. Apparently, after McGonagall took fifty points for being out after curfew, AGAIN, he tried to give her this cock-and-bull story about Potter and Neville smuggling a dragon out of the school. McGonagall was so incensed that he thought her that stupid, that she took another fifty points.

A week before exams started, Neville overhears Quirrell talking to Snape. He has convinced that Snape is trying to get the stone, and goes to Harry, Ron, and Hermione about it. Harry reminds them that he believes that Snape is not the one. He also reminds them that they should be looking in a different direction; that nothing is, as it seems. He has them tell him what they think they know, and Neville mentions the times his scar started burning. When asked to clarify, Neville mentions that it is always in Quirrell's class. Hermione is the first to get it and says that it must be Quirrell and that he is trying to get the stone for Voldemort. However, it does not explain why Quirrell would make Neville's scar hurt, unless maybe Voldemort was in the classroom hidden.

The next night, Draco comes back from his detention flipping-out about some evil wraith in the forbidden forest attacking him after it drank the blood of a unicorn, and that a Centaur had saved his life from it. Harry tells his friends and they have a good laugh, but Harry stops them and more seriously tells them that there is only one reason something would drink unicorn blood. They realize that Voldemort is using it to stay alive.

At the end of their last exams, the quartette went into the trapdoor after Quirrell. After Harry catches the key for them to unlock the door, he watches Ron play them across the chessboard, but this time, he does not have to play himself. Under the guise of getting help for Ron, he tells Neville cryptically that the mirror is in the center of the room. Neville is confused but he and Hermione must go on without them. He takes Ron up to the hospital wing and Dumbledore comes in and finds out from Harry that Neville is dealing with Voldemort.

Neville enters the chamber that is supposed to contain the mirror to find Quirrell screaming about there being nothing in the room. Neville concentrates and the Mirror pops into existence before his vary eyes, there in the center of the room. Quirrell is looking right at it and cannot see it.

Unfortunately, Neville was not far enough along in his Occlumency training, so Voldemort was able to tell he was lying. Neville was made to stand before the mirror and get the stone, and as in the original timeline, Quirrell died.

Harry was able to win the last game of the season for Slytherin house.

When Neville finally woke up, he asked Dumbledore how Harry had known about the mirror, and Dumbledore told him that Harry suggested putting the mirror under the Fidelius charm and that Harry was its secret keeper. This time around, Dumbledore decided to go ahead and give the stone back to Flamel, and place it under a Fidelius charm for him, with Flamel its secret keeper. He asks Neville not to reveal that Harry had a part in hiding the stone.

Dumbledore awards the last-minute points to Neville (60), Hermione (50), and Ron (50); and to be fair, Harry (50). Sadly, because Harry's points do not help cover the hundred-point loss suffered by Slytherin due to Draco, Gryffindor wins the House Cup.

McGonagall, Flitwick, Snape, and Dumbledore approach Harry and ask him if he would be willing to take a few extra exams to determine where he should be next year, and the tests reveal that he should be starting his third year (Harry purposefully fudged the results). They ask if he would like to be moved up, but he declines, saying only that he would like the option of taking Arithmancy and Ancient Runes next year.

Later, in private, Dumbledore asks why Harry went back on his original demand, and he said that he liked what he was doing now and hoped to become prefect, Quidditch captain, and Head boy. He also realized that if he were doing third-year work, he would not be in the same classes as everyone else who seemed to develop a reliance on him to help them through their work.

When everyone gets off the train at Kings Cross, Harry bids the Weasleys, Grangers and Longbottoms goodbye, and then Floos back to Hogwarts to live in the Room of Requirements until the next year.

---

So, what do you all think?

 

I'll edit as I continue to read because that's alot to take in all at once. First and foremost that specific time-travel idea has been done a lot. As a person who loves the do-over stories this one comes off as generic. Her are some points from what I have read so far that make it so.

1. Hermione discovering, or creating using arithmancy a spell that traverses the very laws of time and space. For some reason a good chunk of time travel fics tend to have Hermione designing some uber spell. Now no offense to Hermione lovers, but I don't think she is that smart yet. I consider time travel to be the space travel of magic. Having Hermione design such a spell is like having a 17 year old discover the propulsion engine for a spacecraft. Perhaps you should consider an alternative way to have Harry go back.

2) Harry appearing in the cupboard with the Dursleys, and scarless.

Overdone but if done well I don't think its bad. Perhaps you should consider having him appear at a different point in time. Maybe the zoo during the snake scene, and perhaps have him see his scar less reflection on the glass cage. Have him try out and see if he has parseltongue with the snake.

3)What time frame is this story set in? Is it post DH? Is it post-epilogue? Because if it is I would explain a little more throughly how

is possible.

4) The inevitable Dumbledore meeting is very annoying in my opinion. Why does Harry need to tell Dumbledore everything? Why does he need to spy on the Slytherins when Dumbledore has portraits, Heads of Houses, and House elves to do it for him? I highly doubt Dumbledore is so incompetent that he needs a 10 year old spying for him on other 10 year olds. This seems to be a bit pointless.
I'll edit when i read more in.

 

It sucks. Its overly fluffy. Why the hell would he waste his time like that. I've got no interest in reading about 18 year old Harry interacting with 11 year olds, getting confused about how he should feel, what he should tell them, how he should act. Been there, done that, got the T-Shirt.

 

Well it sounds a little cliche to be honest. Some original ideas but its sounding like he is way too friendly with the golden trio. Another think was that your making him too good, he only was an average 6th year student, sounds from that likes he is better than Flitwick and McGonagall. However my biggest problem is that I have never seen a fiction where Harry goes back to first year completed when they have this much content per year. Maybe you will be different but it would be a big worry for me.

 

Just from the outline, I guess you are planning a 25-30 or so chapters rewrite of PS. No offence, but what you intend to write sounds rather boring to me.

I also have my doubts on whether you will actually be able to write up to Harry's 7th year. It would just entail far too much effort on your part to be realistically possible. Most rewrites (be it AUs or time-travel fics) tend to be abandoned by the 3rd year. In fact, I don't think I've seen any good ones that continued past the 4th.

If you were intending to skim past most of the relatively uneventful stuff of Harry's 1st- 3rd years (seeing as Sirius is already released in Harry's first year), then you might actually be able to complete this whole series.

 

Well the story has some well structured bones, lots of meet, but when you add the skin it`'s going to look like a pansy elf. Add some pain some suffering and we'll all feel better. I'll try write something down that would make the story a bit more bearable.

>Sirius won't get out of jail so easily, at least some pressure should be put on the ministry and even if he gets out people will know Pettigrew escaped and is still alive so there is going to be a manhunt that may or may not scare Wormtail into fleeing but it will definitely make him jumpy.

>If Dumbledore took the stone then Neville isn't going to know about it at the end of the year. You could add Dumbledore's explanation to Harry questioning him ,about why the obstacle leading to the stone were so easy, with it being a trap (as it could have been in the original timeline)

>Decrease the amount of money Harry has for what ever he got as reparations or gifts in the original world (for saving it as a baby) and also keep in mind the hospital bills for hes parents. This will increase hes dependsy(sp?) on Dumbledore. (Bad news for Harry)

>Draco will not give up hes rightful place at the head of Slytherin to some half-blood orphan so easily. In this timeline Harry doesn't have hes BWL status or Dumbledore's public support. Draco doesn't have enough influence to get Harry killed but he can make hes life a living hell with hes fathers deep pockets. Lucius gets hears of a student living in the school in the summer and he'll use hes influence at the Board to get Harry kicked out.

>Occlumency should be a thing taught not something you learn from a book. (It is more ironic that way, to protect your mind from intrusion you'll have to show all your secrets a stranger)

>Snape seeing past the ghost of James should take longer than a few months.

>The Slytherins don't change overnight especially the older students.

>Add a few story arcs with the Order now that it's back together earlier even if they aren't from Harry's POW

>DH gave us some more info on magic you could use, like you can do magic with the will alone (Dobby's grave) but it's just inconvenient in a battle situation. (kinda reminds me on nWOD magic)

>And my favorite for last always make sure things don't go the way their planed.

 

.... You're basically proposing a rewrite of the whole damn series...

Make Harry more manipulative, make him sacrifice people to get Neville stronger, make him more like Dumbledore, make him with hold information, make him... I don't know, a bit more of a bastard!

Neville should come out feeling about Harry what Harry feels about Dumbles!

 

I would read it. Good luck on this fic.

 

Styx, just to note, in Britain there is an NHS, and its likely that that would carry over to the magical world, given that the majority of care is done by spells, and thus only a healers time needs to be paid for. So hospital bills wouldn't be of any concern, or if there are any, they would be of minimal concern.

 

I would read it too. Seems more interesting than most rewrites of the series, and the idea of Harry being a 'puppeteer' always appealed to me.

It has some clichés, but I find it better than most proposals of the same style.

I can't say anything that other users haven't said already, so I'll only wish you good luck with it.

 

I have read a lot of time-travel fics and in general the whole plotline is outworn. For reference here is a time-travel c2 focussing on Harry back in his own timeline: Over and Over Again 133 stories, mostly with only few variations, and only a few are complete.


You have three chances at making your story unique:
1. - You need to write a better style than most authors
2. - You should focus on some unique elements
3. - Eventually complete your story (probably the hardest point)


I can give you some hints on point 2:
Quite a lot of time-travel and au-authors try to retell canon chapter by chapter, paragraph by paragraph. It's boring. Really boring. Some standard elements making me yawn are: Flying-Lesson, Quidditch-Seeker, Troll-Bathroom. You have to ask yourself, if you really need these scenes, if you really need Harry to join the Quidditch-team, etc.

Killing the troll with a lethal spell isn't that uncommon either. You'd be really original if Hermione isn't bothered by Ron and attends the feat, and if Harry convinces DD beforehand to let the students stay in the Great Hall while the teachers go troll-hunting.

If you really need canon-scenes, then try to summarize them. If you really want Harry to join the Quidditch team, start the scene either while McG is entering the stage just when Harry catches the remembrall, or even after she left Snape's dungeon, perhaps with a sentence of Snape: "So you catched this little ball?" - and at once every reader knows where you are and what has just happened.

Rarely done is your plot-element of Harry and DD working together. The twist with the duo together pulling the strings on/for Neville seems to be unique. I second LogrusMage: Neville, or perhaps at first Hermione, could become suspicious about manipulative!Harry, so that severe problems occur to keep their friendship. Further Harry might realise he doesn't behave different than DD and have serious moral problems treating Neville like he has been treated by DD.


Oh, and ignore Mordecai. He's just an embittered old thatcherist Scot who doesn't understand the concept of something fluffy.

 

Im a Thatcherist Scot am I Dark Minion? Do you even know what a Thatcherist is? Did you not know that Scotland is that Labour Home Land. If you take a map of the UK, separated into constituencies coloured according to what party represents them, Scotland is nearly entirely red. Red being the colour of the Labour Party.

I don't object to some fluff in a fic, if it adds to the atmosphere. Fluff for the sake of fluff, or a fic that is solely fluff is not good.

 

Yes, I agree that I somehow managed to fluff it up considerably. I'll have to do more head-in-mullings, and things with the RL are starting to look like I may not have much time to write anyway. We'll see. I'll be in Tokyo for the next week, so definitely no writing then. Naturally, with my luck, all my good Ideas will come while I'm away from the computer (I live in Okayama - 4 hours away from Tokyo) . . . maybe I should carry a note pad and a pen everywhere I go just in case.

I want to thank everyone for their suggestions. They are greatly appreciated, and keep them coming.

I agree with Mordecai, it is too fluffy (even if he said it rather harshly). I just need to come up with some interesting things to add conflict and problems for Harry.

 

I think this is an interesting story idea; I have a suggestion about one way you could avoid some cliches and inject some conflict by changing the intro:

One year or so after the end of DH, Harry is kidnapped by one of Voldemort's die hard followers. It turns out that Voldemort prepared a "break out in case of vanquishing" spell that will send Harry's soul back in time, and allow the caster's soul to hitch a ride. The idea being that the travels through the multiverse required to go back in time are very tricky, but Harry's connection to Voldemort will make sure they wind up in the right place when they finish. Of course, Voldemort didn't realize that the connection depended on the Horcrux-bit inside of Harry, or that it could be broken. So the "last DE" casts the spell, and Harry gets dropped off in the AU...

A bit of a change up on the "Hermione violates the laws of space and time" plot device, and Harry has to deal with an antagonist running around trying to change the timeline as well. The antagonist would be stuck in a younger body, which could be a problem for them depending on who you go with as the antagonist.

 

Why doesn't he go to jamaica, get laid, come back when the war's really heating up and kick some ass instead?

Better than what you've got imo. Yours seems like too much work.

 

You're just determined to get negrepped aren't you? You must seriously derive physical pleasure from it, theres no other reason you would be such an utter retard all the fucking time.

Now, just so that you your small mind can comprehend this, I shall repeat it.

The thread title is Time-Travel Fic Idea, not Bad Plot for an HP Fanfic (which you're idea would most certainly win).

The thread title is Time-Travel Fic Idea, not Bad Plot for an HP Fanfic (which you're idea would most certainly win).

The thread title is Time-Travel Fic Idea, not Bad Plot for an HP Fanfic (which you're idea would most certainly win).

There, did that sink in? I hope so.

 

He's a troll, probably the second coming of xcel. I don't even think we should bother responding to him anymore.