When weighing Harry's transgresions, mental attack on Hannah and dark magic vs. his success, removing Lucius and random Death Eater as well as rescuing Krum and company. Which way do you think it would pan out. Petter Abot probably won't forgive him but as he appears to have an ass whupen coming he shouldn't count. You mentioned something about Susan's support, so do you plan on having an inner struggle between Harry and the darkness, or is he just understably pissed at the moment?

 

Fucking destroy all Abbots. I am exceedingly pissed at them all. Hannah, DIE, Chelsea, TORTURE AND DIE, Peter, DIE! Susan should be slapped, that hoe.

 

I for one feel for Harry here. He's angry, a bit confused after the possession and recent history aside, he is closer to Ginny than to the 'puffs. He knows bloody well the implications of a legilimencyattack. The 'puffs were warned. They're gonna pay. I also agree with him that being banished through a window warrants a bit of a comeback. I'm bloody impressed with Susan though. There's not many ways to stop Harry there without actually fighting him but she finds a way and turns her wand at a loved one who she thinks is in the wrong. That's a Hufflepuff with all the trimmings. For a girl, she's got a really big pair in stainless steel hanging there throughout this whole story. I can really believe this girl.
BTW Jbern, on that political aspect, how does HorriblyBrilliant sound?
g

 

Glad everyone is enjoying this. A number of the early reviews said it was another evil cliffhanger. I don't really see it. I see it as a dramatic finish.

In someways the title To Fight the Coming Darkness is also about the struggle taking place inside Harry Potter. Compare the Harry of the first 4 chapters with the one you just saw. He is gradually drifting darker. Susan may have an uphill battle keeping him from a descent into becoming a dark wizard.

Harry will be angry at Susan. She will be equally as angry at him. I never promised a legendary romance or anything. Up until now, she has supported him unconditionally, but she has her limits. She bit her lip when Harry used unforgivables against the vampires. She held back when he told her that he was practicing possession with Ginny Weasley so he could try and murder Riddle in cold blood.

And now back to your comments....
Jim

 

I was initially annoyed that Susan raised her wand at Harry, because as the 'little wifey' I thought that she should support him. On second thought, I'm glad it was her -- even though she's gone along with everything that Harry's done (and much of it is of dubious legality), it shows that the bright, loyal, brave (and cursing Harry Potter requires large, hanging stones) Susan that we met initially is still there. Once Harry cools off and hears her side, I think the relationship will be stronger for it.

As far as sticking up for Hannah goes, (even though she's been a total coont) this is the Hufflepuff version of "Bros before Hos" (love the way that rolls off the tongue).

As for Peter Abbott, if he was aiming for the window then Harry should make him wear his ass for a hat, if not then cooler heads will probably prevail.

-Sean

 

Blow Petters Abbots balls off so he can't spawn off any more useless children.

It's not a cliffy. It's just a interesting place to leave it. The window scene would have been a cliffy.

Susan did the right thing even if I do wish Hannah gets severely mind fucked.

The way you dealt with the hand... you do realise in about 3 moths there will be lots of other shitty fics out there that steal that idea.

 

Maybe if a shitty fic steals enough decent ideas, it will be barely readable? If you made Peter a magic hand that can crush a rock, would you let it harm you? I know I wouldn't! Too bad Harry couldn't find that spell. Dumbledore could use a new arm. Susan will not be an uber powerful witch. She can't compete in Harry's league, so she'll have to work on being the more level headed one.

Jim

 

Jbern, I just read the latest chapter.

You're an evil, evil man.

 

Great chapter, one of my favorites. Im amazed at how many original ideas you have, and at how well you can shape the characters. The conflicts all add a lot to the story though i think my favorite will be harry vs the darkness in him. I think that susan did the right thing, if she just agreed with harry all the time it would get boring.

Now for the interesting bit. Peter Abbot, sure we all hate him, but was he really that out of line. If you saw your child curled up and whimpering with someone standing over him/her pointing a wand that could kill her what would you do. My first reaction would be eliminate the threat. That said i hope Harry beat the shit out of him now since personally i think harry's legimacy attack on hannah was fine.

Cant wait for the next chapter, and really wish it would come sooner since time goes so slowly now that im back in school.

elvin)


P.S- did u know trident is reviewing your story, only gave it an 8/10 what a bastard.

 

This chapter wasn't so much as an evil cliff hanger as a "What thats it - I want moooroeeeee"

Saying that, calmer heads aside, Harry has been more effective at taking the war to the dark lord than most and I cant help think that from his perspective everyone is working there hardest to F up his plans.

He has a right to be angry, frustrated, and down right pissed.

 

I think this one of the best fanfics being written. Please keep up the good work.
Clever ideas about magic, realistic action scenes, and great drama.

 

Of course he was out of line. I see the reaction to protect as quite natural, but there's a lot of less violent spells to use. Stunners, bodybinds and so on. Imagine the personal little wars that will break out if Harry actually kills the geek, and consider the fact that the author appears to have the tonker to actually have him do just that.
g

 

I don't really think I am evil per se, just misunderstood....

Thanks for all the support. Yes I did see that Tridentwatch left a review. He says my story is 8/10, but that I shouldn't continue it. It is a very confusing review. Here is the text of it and my reply - I reply to every review I get even the "Up2dte S0on!!!!" ones.

Here is his review....

An excellent story. It has a strong and interesting plot, few errors and plot
holes, and a nice fluid writing style that leaves little to be desired except
maybe cutting back the pointless crap and getting to the point already.

I swear, you could have cut the length in half and said practically the same
thing. It is the only major problem I have, after all why should a reader read
twice as much? Please try to be more concise.

On the whole quite nice, the romance was done nicely, and Penny is... unique. Snape is cliche, he acts like a twelve year old, while Harry on the other hand acts like a mature adult when he should be exactly the opposite.

Don't continue this, update your other story more please.

8/10

And here is my reply...

Thanks for the review. You say it's too much pointless crap, I say it's the details that make the story what it is. I could have eliminated chapter 10 and 11 just by having someone run into the room and say "Azkaban just fell.", but where is the fun in that. If my story starts to approach the 600000 word mark like Mastermind Hunting, then maybe I am going a bit overboard. I don't see how Snape is cliche. He is firmly in Voldemort's camp as opposed to most stories where he is some misunderstood crumudgeon.

I'll continue both stories, it annoys me when an author abandons a story.

Jim

Strange a recent review of Bungle by him said that Dodgespell was just blah, but he would like to see that one continue? My head hurts.

Anyway, Harry is struggling with his inner demons and outer ones too for that matter. Harry is mad enough to kill - I think most of us being tossed out of a 4 story window would be. There's a room full of people though. It will be interesting to write the scene. Kung Lou is right, Harry is annoyed that his 'allies' can't manage to get out of his way. Of course didn't Voldemort think something like that a few chapters ago when he learned of Flint's deriliction and Malfoy's actions?

Jim
PS - Just wanted to throw in that I have nothing against Mastermind Hunting. The reason I threw it in there was it is frickin huge! I'm one of those incessant readers, so if I want to read it, I will need to schedule a 3 day weekend for it.

 

Great chapter. I liked the ending, but now I have to wait to see if he gets to actually kick Abbot's ass, or if the others stop him.

I can see how attacking Hannah's mind would be seen as harsh by the namby-pamby light-siders, but I whole-heartedly support his actions. Though it is probably good that Susan stopped him when she did.

I liked the way the duel with Voldemort went, especially if it speeds up Harry's animagus time.

Keep up the good work.

 

Unbreackable wows

I read here about unbrakable wows and I may give you some sugestions, how make them functional.
1) UW are probably considered dark magic (soulmagic).
2) They require a lot of mafic. Teherefor can be only cast by powerful wizards.
3) You have to make them to person, not institution (You cant make UW to always obey ministry, only to obey minister Fudge).
4) You must mean them, when you cast them (realy mean them).
5) You can bee recipient only for one UW at once.
6) It isnt in your power to give conflicting UWs.

 

To nonjon

You cant break oath this way. Breaking oath mean to have intentions to break them. Even unbreakable wow isnt breaken, when there isnt concious aktion againts it (in HBP: If Snape woudl had slept through fight at the end of book, his oath wouldnt been breaken. Althou if Dumbledore survive, he have to kill him the first time, he sees him (he must know, that kiling Dumbledore was Malfoys mision). So mindrape or rape didnt break the oath (only problem is, when Ginny sees it as breaking the oath, then it would act as mentioned). When Harry assure her, that she didnt break her oath, it cant have drastic consequences.

 

Sorry, but i'm too lazy to actually check the fic, but was it really an Unbreakable oath? I thought it was a Blood oath, and in that case it could be tied to another learning the secret from the person swearing the oath. It would be a clumsy wording, but in line with the not-so-subtle Ginny and the anti-subtle Harry of this fic.

 

Arne you may wish to edit to make your post more legible. Spell checker is your friend. You may also wish to edit to make it one post. Double posting is against the rules. As well as that, why do you think you can dictate exactly what is an Unbreakable Vow. Everyone on the board has differing opinions on everything, so you may wish to not come across as though you are trying to set down some rules. If you wish to do that, go to the Potter Law thread.

I don't thik it was an unbreakable vow anyway, it was a magical oath. Which I would think is different. Unbreakable vows have only been around since HBP, however, magical oaths have been in fanfiction since i came to it. That was about 2 years ago. They are generally taken to be that while the magic doesn't stop you from breaking the oath, it punishes you for doing so. At least, thats always been my take on them.

As for the fic, really liked the chapter. As I said before man, if you publish a novel, ever, it will outdo JKR, you are a vastly better author.

 

Sorry about the duble posting. And Im not english speeker and I am not good enough to realy write in english. I wrote some fanfiction in my native speech (Czech) and Im working on book about soulmagic (hence the ideas). This are only sugestions why unbreakable oath isnt common (autor can realy come with some of his own). And although magical oath is different (is weaker), some rules have to bee the same for all oath spels (konditions of breaking for one).
And I think, it si cruel (but possible) to punish someone, who did his best to prevent breaking the oath conditions and wasnt successful.

 

What should be done with the Abbotts?

This is more than a little off topic, but I think it could be really cool if you do this...or if someone uses it in a fic.

I was watching Babylon 5 last night and the episode dealt with Londo having to kill his friend in a duel. Now, the cool thing about the duel and what could be cool if it was used here is that the duel was designed to head off blood feuds with the winner taking the loser's family as his own.

Now, as for the idea...use it or not: By trying to kill Harry (the Lord of the House of Potter) Peter Abbott broke some sort of magical code dealing with the behavior or Lords of the Wizengamot. Maybe a Malfoy wrote the code or something. Anyway, the code states that if such an action is taken against the Lord of a Noble House then a "Duel of Houses" could be invoked. Peter and Harry would fight to the death and the winner would accept the losers family as his own (sort of like their guardian) and would gain control of the loses Wizengamot seats and fortunes. If you want to make it really interesting you could have it so that retribution against the winner of the duel is forbidden....a little more angst of Chelsea and Hannah who would have to accent their father's killer as their parent/guardian/patriarch.

Well, that's my brilliant idea for the day. Thoughts anyone?