To tell the truth...

the-caitiff · Sep 6, 2007

Spider Jerusalem lives! A journalist writes the truth for once in his life...
http://www.esquire.com/print-this/honesty0707?x

No topic is off-limits. "I've slept with more than five hundred women and about a half dozen men," he tells me. "I've had a whole bunch of threesomes" -- one of which involved a hermaphrodite prostitute equipped with dual organs.
What about animals?
Blanton thinks for a minute. "I let my dog lick my dick once."
If he hadn't devoted his life to Radical Honesty, I'd say he was, to use his own phrase, as full of shit as a Christmas turkey. But I don't think he is. I believe he's telling the truth. Which is a startling thing for a journalist to confront. Generally, I'm devoting 30 percent of my mental energy to figuring out what a source is lying about or hiding from me. Another 20 percent goes into scheming about how to unearth that buried truth. No need for that today.
"I was disappointed when I visited your office," I tell Blanton. (Earlier he had shown me a small, cluttered single-room office that serves as the Radical Honesty headquarters.) "I'm impressed by exteriors, so I would have been impressed by an office building in some city, not a room in Butt Fuck, Virginia. For my article, I want this to be a legitimate movement, not a fringe movement."
"What about a legitimate fringe movement?" asks Blanton, who has, by this time, had three bourbons.
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I have a business breakfast with an editor from Rachael Ray's magazine. As we're sitting together, I tell her that I remember what she wore the first time we met -- a black shirt that revealed her shoulders in a provocative way. I say that I'd try to sleep with her if I were single. I confess to her that I just attempted (unsuccessfully) to look down her shirt during breakfast. She smiles. Though I do notice she leans back farther in her seat.
The thing is, the separate cubbyholes of my personality are merging. Usually, there's a professional self, a home self, a friend self, a with-the-guys self. Now, it's one big improper mess. This woman and I have either taken a step forward in our relationship, or she'll never return my calls again.
When I get home, I keep the momentum going. I call a friend to say that I fantasize about his wife. (He says he likes my wife, too, and suggests a key party.)
I inform our twenty-seven-year-old nanny that "if my wife left me, I would ask you out on a date, because I think you are stunning."
She laughs. Nervously.
"I think that makes you uncomfortable, so I won't mention it again. It was just on my mind."
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deathinapinkboa · Sep 6, 2007

When I need cheering up I do this being totally honest and vocalizing all my thoughts thing. It is amazing what people will let you get away with saying. They always seem to think I'm joking and being friendly.

There is this one lady (I use the term lady loosely here) who thrusts her personality on me every chance she gets, so in an effort to make her go I have help back not a single thought.

She thinks "Heiffer" is a cute nick-name.

That said, perpetual honest isn't possible for me. I have to lie about my homework.

DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

Hi there, Guest

To tell the truth...

the-caitiff Death Eater

deathinapinkboa Minister of Magic

Could anyone tell me if they know of any Harry=Metamorphagus fics?

Tell me, DLP, how would you react if it was all a dream?

DLP Flash Christmas Competition + Writing Marathon 2024!

Hi there, Guest

To tell the truth...

the-caitiff Death Eater

deathinapinkboa Minister of Magic

Could anyone tell me if they know of any Harry=Metamorphagus fics?

Tell me, DLP, how would you react if it was all a dream?

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