Title: Tom and Harry
Author: old-crow
Rating: M
Genre: Action/Adventure/Romance
Pairing: H/Hr (*shudder)
Status: WIP
Summary: HBP left us with a half played chess match. Riddle's goal is to finish off Harry. Harry needs to find the Horcruxes and train to destroy Riddle. CH 28. Surprises and chills await as the story comes to a conclusion.


My opinion: It's incredibly fluffy. At times I wanted to smash my head against the wall.


http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2510579/1/

Your opinions?

 

I liked some of hers/his older stories (Four Apprentices), but I dropped this as soon as I saw Dan & Emma oppener. Then I went and ranted about it at Fanfic clishe rant...

But yes, if some brave soul would read further, I'd like to know is there anything worthwhile there.

 

Pretty standard stuff for a Post-HBP fic so far. Nothing earth shattering.

Covers Snape and Draco on the run, Harry shopping, A too long meeting with Hermione's parents.

*shrug* Pretty boring so far really, but it's got decent writing and flows well, despite not much going on yet at the end of chapter 3.

EDIT - I'll add it's got a totally OOC Petunia and Minister of Magic. And the author seems to want to throw Harry and Hermione together, with as much time as they spend interacting.

The coin robber bit with Draco and Severus is just utterly stupid

Edit- The author must have a hard on for Bobmin's Sunset over Britian, as they mention Bob and Alyx multiple times in notes, then they actually get IN the story. Alyx the auror, and Bob Sunset the auror. Abraxan as well. Alyx is used so much it's insane.

Stuff like this

actually being in the story as normal speech doesn't help it for me either.

Edit 3 as of chapter 15 - The author kills ppl off left and right much like JKR, and spends quite awhile setting up Harry/Hermione to be together in subtle ways. If he spends any more time in future chapters with Dan and/or Emma being the majority "talker" I'm going to pop a blood vessel.

N/m, looking on a bit, you get treated to a lengthy discussion between Emma and Hermione over how much Hermione loves Harry, and then they do a birds and the bees talk about sexual protection.

ug.

 

Well I've read the story jsut to see how the author would handle writing a post-HBP story. I thought it was pretty standart. There's nothing WOW in the story, nothing that really caught my attention. The story itself seems to be a lot like Sunset Over Britan... I didn't like the whole part with Hermione surviving AK. It ruined the story for me. She should've died or the author could've just cut out that whole part. Well as I said it was an ok story. Nothing spectacular.

 

I figured as much.

Even excellent writters got stuck while trying to write a sequel to HBP.
Average writters shouldn't even try to work with that piece of shit.

 

Not sure why, but I usually really try to enjoy old-crow's stories. Just for the speed on the updates and the far better than teenage girl squee-filled writing. But I just can't anymore. I think "No Thanks" was the nail in the coffin for me. His fics are like 95 percent emotion and love and angst and bleh. 'No Thanks' actually managed to suck every bit of fun possible out of Harry Potter by not only taking out the magic, but Harry defeats Voldie with like sniper rifle from a distance? And I thought the duel in Four Apprentices would be hard to underachieve.

I was thinking about giving this story a try once it was finished, just so I could skip over the large bits that don't interest me and see if I liked the fic, but from what I'm hearing here, it's not worth it to me.

Old-crow reminds me of Bobmin's style and such, but without the humor, action, or adventure. Just drama, angst, romance and a lot of decisions in story directions that piss me the fuck off.

Man I wish I liked old-crow's stuff more. Seems like there's nothing I like to read. And everyone else takes months to update.

 

Seriously with the amount of times he uses the author's names, and inserts random out of story text into the middle of the story, you would think it was bobmin writing this.

It gets way worse as times go on, with magical silver hand grenades, a roman legion of inferi somehow being able and intelligent enough after being dead for thousands of years, to build ladders, fire bows, etc. I won't start on Hermione's dad offing Bella with a shot from a 1945 pistol to her brain.

It gets very fluffy, very whiny, and very repetative the further you go. OMFG Volde has all these De's *kills most of them* OMFG he has dementors *kills most of them* OMFG inferi that are more agile and smart then they should be *kills* OMFG werewolves!*kills* At the point I'm at Voldemort literally has like 6 DE's with him, the horcrux's are totally destroyed, and the author is choosing to spend time on Romilda Vane hitting on Harry and Hermione crying over why Harry didn't want to pork her one night.

I'll leave the ranting over how they find the horcruxes in like a few days when Dumbledore couldn't find but 1, to someone else.

I'm simply continuing to read b/c I'm bored, just did another full reformat, and have zero anything else attention worthy to do atm on my PC.

It looked like it could of been an at least average post HBP story at the start, but then it devolved into Harry with a sword slaughtering Dementor's and eventually Harry giving Hermione an orgasm infront of her mom Flitwick, and several others, by shooting a love fueled Patronus into her.

Edit - Finished and good lord are the last several chapters painful to read. He does a cool bit with sending Voldemort pictures taken with a camera while in a pensieve, and uses the last one a portkey. Well Voldie is summoned and surrounded by a ton of folks who fire off Patroni into him over and over, which hurts him like the devil. Harry steps up and lops his head off.

It s covered like an afterthought, instead of something the entire fic built up to. The ending few chapts cover Malfoy gambling at a casino to get cash to finance his rise to Dark Lord status/recover his money, and a whole bunch of fluffy crap.

 

I think you just summed up the entire story in about 3 sentences.

 

I started reading and well i dug deep to stay when it was Harry/Ginslut but when she died and he started dating the filthy Mudblood i just stopped! i was expecting something so much better from the author but alas a true let down! I think it's more a General fic then independent but thats only me.

 

WTF? People, not be contrary or anything, but what the blazes did you expect? If I remember correctly - and I'm mostly certain that I do - Old-crow's a H/Hr shipper (exeption - Four Apprentices). C'mon, the story hadn't even started yet when I could've told you it would end up H/Hr. The same with all other complaints - true to the letter, I couldn't agree more. But I started reading the story expecting all that.

I wouldn't say the fic is good, but neither can I condemn it as bad - it is just is the way it is. Typical Old-crow.

 

I gotta agree with Raven if Herms the mudblood is written well i can enjoy her and Harry together, but this well then...it just doesn't do it for me!

 

It wasn't the horribly written H/Hr that ruined the fic for me, it was everything else. The H/Hr part being so annoying, and starting even while Harry was with Ginny hurt it even more. The way Ron was just shrugged off was rather irritating as well. I don't like the character, but making him idiotic to the point of blasting the Director of the MLE to bits accidentally hurt my eyes to read.

Dan and Emma were used so much in this story, as was Alyx, that it may as well of been called Old Crow's Obsession, and been done with it.

If he'd rip out the out of story text in the middle of chapters, nix the bad humor, take out the stupid fixation with golf (a PUTTER for a Horcrux?!?! wtf is wrong with him>?) remove the unhealthy fixation with Alyx (evidentally Bob don't rate too high, he's only mentioned a 2o times or so compared to his wife's several dozen to 100+ times). He needs to rewrite the Horcrux's being found so simply, etc.

Redeeming qualities like the camera inside a pensieve (despite the fact that you really don't go physically inside I don't think so how the hell do you take a camera?), the research/splitting into teams, fall way short of overcoming all the stuff that made me flinch as I read. There were several things I liked, but like I said, the stupid parts just overwhelmed the rest.

Another thing that bugged the hell out of me was the general tone of the story did not match with the werewolf attack scene, where he goes into detail about the 10 year old kids Fenrir kidnapped laying naked and dying/bleeding to death while folks onlooked without bother. Fluffy shit for XXX amount of chapter and then "hey look lets slaughter a ton of kid werewolves and then barely be bothered by it!" It just didn't fit with the rest of the fic.

 

Aye I only mentioned Abraxan in passing, but Crow made Abraxan.. excuse me High Druid Preistess (this is only mentioned several dozen times it seems like) Abraxan, as Minister. She gets name dropped fairly often as well, and is usually listening in on the battles in the handy cell phones

Rofl, if only this was a parody though =(

 

I think its things like this that keep me from taking Crow seriously (...and that s/hes got too many H/Hr stories that completely suck...). Ill gve that s/he might have talent, s/he just doesnt use it right. I've name dropped, but that was only in the chapter title which never took away from the flow. Doing things like this... just blah...

The lot of them should be put in a room with 500Lbs of cocaine and hammers... tell em only one gets out alive... then kill the surviver...

 

I've spent the last minute or so struggling to come to grips with how bad this story is. The author decided: Let's write a completely inferior version of Deathly Hallow!

The writing style is terrible. You know the fanfics you glance at and dismiss without a second thought? Chances are their authors write like old-crow.

I don't recall a single instance of vivid imagery, the characterizations are dull and two-dimensional, and the blandness of the writing as well as the deficient atmosphere just kills the tension. It's uninvolving.

Worst of all, the story is an elimination process. Character deaths are ticked off in an attempt to shock the reader, but they have no impact unlike in To Fight the Coming Darkness by Jbern. I was utterly indifferent.

The final battle is terrible. In every epic showdown in fanfiction, Harry faces Voldemort alone. Harry and a hundred other people having to mob Voldemort and smother him in their patronus charms (a WTF in itself) is pushing it to the extreme.

Ask yourself, do you want to write 100,000 words of people sacrificing their lives and getting maimed just so that the villain goes down like a little bitch? Why old-crow wanted to make a mockery of his own work like that I will never know.

It I]would[/I] have been anticlimactic, but by the time I reached it, my standards & expectations were nonexistent. In that sense, that author did his readers a service.

The (sparingly few) attempts at originality were wince-worthy. When the Roman Inferi appeared, I think I just shook my head in pity.

1/5.

/purge

 

I have read some stories from old-crow, the "Thank You Ms Bones" was a guilty pleasure for me. The fics usually belong to the "almost recommended" category, his bests may reach the "recycling bin" quality. Unfortunately this may be the author`s worst work, I have stopped reading after the chapter 10.
1/5