IT BEGINS.

So here's the deal. Gen III is my jam. Sapphire was the first Pokemon game I ever played legit, and Emerald is the only Pokemon game I've ever logged more than 100 hours on. AS SUCH, I am understandably pumped for the remakes, and have decided to embark on one last run of the original gangster itself in celebration!

This will not be a Nuzlocke run. This will be a completion run- Regi side quests, Battle Frontier, Steven, I'm doin' it all. Everything except completing the National Dex, because fuck that noise. I'll also be running the "set" style of battling, if only so that I don't completely breeze through this.

One final note: I went out and snagged a physical cartridge of Emerald from a stranger I found on Craigslist, and was rewarded for my efforts with a fake as shit copy. Hopefully it works! Either way, I'll be documenting my progress with shitty pictures of my screen, as is tradition!

(EDIT: Turns out that Craigslist McDickbutt didn't just give me a fake game- he gave me a corrupted one, too. So fuck me, I guess. Mobile version it is!)

Alright, here we go!





Goin' through the motions. Set my gender (that's a choice in the Pokeverse) and name, introduced myself to the friendly neighbor girl, May Vira, and saved Birch's ass from a friendly puppy. In the process, I obtained the 'mon that started it all. Swampbro. Hell yes.

This is where my journey begins. I invite any and all of you reading this to join me and my eternalist of rivals in our trek through the best region in Pokemon, for this will be the playthrough that will PIERCE THE HEAVENS!!!

Stats
Littleroot Town
Player: Menace
Badges: 0
Time: 0:08

Party:

Swampbro the Mudkip (M) (Lv5)
Attacks: Tackle, Growl.
​

 

Pokemon Emerald is my favorite version and people who think otherwise deserve to consecutively drown and burn in trumpet hell.

Emerald was the remake of Ruby and Sapphire, a mixing of the concepts, and an expansion on Hoenn, the most controversial region of the series. Hoenn brings diversity into the Pokemon world with its tropical feel, abundance of water routes, and interesting Pokemon designs. Some people dislike this. Some people are mad.

If there’s anything I don’t like about Emerald, it’s that it was released before the gen 4 physical/special split, and the knowledge of three future generations of Pokemon and movesets make some Pokemon’s existences saddening. My Emerald game cart has a dead battery too, so no berries for me. Like Menace, I've put my mode to set. Unlike Menace, I don't have time to take shitty screencaps.

Whatever, time to start.

I wake up in a moving truck. Who thought this was a good idea? Parents should be morally outraged. I jump out of the truck and enter my new house. Spiffy. The Machoke walk back and force like the soulless automatons that they are. Upstairs, I eye my orange gamecube, and my computer, in which I pluck a Potion out of its screen. My mother urges me to check the clock. Time is broken in this world, the sun frozen in the sky and the weather unchanging, but it’s probably 11am.

I head over to the neighbour’s house, who have a kid my age. To my shock, he’s apparently ten and not my very old age of twenty-two. The boy’s mother isn’t alarmed by the strange woman accosting her son and trying to steal a Poke Ball. Brenden Menace kicks me out, and I proceed north, where a little girl watches helplessly as the local professor is savaged by a level two Zigzagoon. I am doomed to help out, as is my nature. A bag lays at the side and I take a Poke Ball. I don’t hesitate, as knowledge flows through my mind and destiny raises my hand.

My Treeko slays the Zigzagoon, its fists rising and falling on the bloodied corpse. We lock eyes, the two of us, one bathed in blood and the other watching, dispassionately.

We fist bump.

Birch brushes himself off and cheerfully invites me to his lab. I go, and Treeko joins my party.



Treeko, Verdant. Level 5, male.
Grass type, Overgrow ability, Bashful nature.
Attacks: Pound, Leer.

Bashful is a neutral nature. If the physical/special split does one good thing, it makes my starter a decent attacker.

Like Menace, my goal is to conquer the Hoenn region, from the mysterious Steven to the three Regis sitting in their tombs. It won’t be a lazy journey, I say as I lay on my bed in my pajamas. This will be difficult and time-consuming. I hope to have an excellent team of six Pokemon, and my first was granted to me today. This isn’t a Nuzlocke, no one will die, but only the best may join my team.

We shall destroy all.

STATS

Name: Vira.
Time: 00:00:14.
Badges: Zero.
Caught: One.

Party:

Verdant the Treeko, level 5. Pound, Leer.

 

You're really going to inspire me to go back into Emerald after I just completed(see died horribly against Steven with my two-mon powerhouses) like a month ago? Well. Fine. Looks like I'll have to give Rayquaza the finger for now and catch his sorry ass in a plain pokeball next run.

*off to Gen IV my favorites*

And on another note, looks like I'm stuck picking Torchic. You sorry bitches took the good starters.

 

While you all are doing that, I'll be playing the Ruby hack that's set in the zombie apocalypse.

 

Edit: In the immortal word's of Nuzlocke, fuckthisnoise.jpg

Not going to bother with the needless fictionalization I had up here before. Got my Torchic, grinded like mad until it evolved into something mildly worth the effort of all that training, and proceeded to wipe away May's hopes and dreams with a single well-placed Double-Kick. Got my Dex, smugrolled the newbs in between me and a glorious chat of future combat with Norman, and after enduring the agony of another Ralts where I have never found one before or since, I kept up the onslaught upon the trainers from Route 104 into Petalburg Woods all the way to Route 116. As said below under Combusken's Arsenal, I smashed Roxanne's Gym down to rubble. May have saved a pokemonless-nerd and sunk some sort of wannabe pirate, go figure. Whats next, a desert bandit? What is this world coming to?


STATS

Name: Zenzao.
Time: 00:01:47.
Badges: One.
Caught: Two.

'Mons(all we care about, after all):

Helios the Combusken
Level 21, Quiet.
Arsenal: Ember(STAB ftw), Double Kick(because screw you Roxanne, Hikers, and Caves in general), Peck(because screw you Lotad, Lombre, and Ludicolo!), Sand-attack(because screw you Focus Energy/Scratch.)

Bacchus the Slakoth
Level 7, Quiet.
Arsenal: Scratch, Yawn, Encore.

 

Behold, the champion of the people:



Team Emerald forever :awesome

 

So, booted up an emulated ROM, cuz I can't be assed to find my my handheld that can actually play GBA games, nor my actual Emerald Cartridge. Not sure I'll go for everything like everyone else seems to be doing, but I'll at least go E4 and some post-game, as well as a couple legendaries.

Anyway, start up, choose Boy as my gender, and immediately run into a problem! There is not enough space to name myself Probellum, or any of my backup names. In the end, I go with a more modest "Bellum," because I'm fairly sure there is or used to be a guy named The Pro on DLP.

Bellum, our poorly named hero of this journey, starts his adventure in the back of a moving vehicle for no apparent reason. Surely, he must be some kind of amazing to be able to withstand such a thing without comment! Finally, the vehicle comes to a stop and we are able to leave this pathetic container known as a 'truck.' Once outside, we can see Bellum's mother, beckoning us inside.

Dimly, we wonder what she was up to while we in the back of the truck, before shrugging in moving on.

In the house, our mother ignores our inquiries into her ruffled appearance and the funky smell and forces us to go set the clock. The bitch. We should complain about child labor.

Unfortunately, we remember that such things are probably legal here in Hoenn and grudgingly head downstairs. After watching a short segment on the TV about our father, we promptly tell our mother to shut up and promptly blow this joint.

Deciding to go check out who our new neighbors are, we head over there and are quickly invited by some chick to go check out her daughter's room. Taking this opportunity for what it is, we immediately rifle through the panty drawers. There's nothing quite like a good old fashioned panty raid!

Our perving is interrupted as the rooms occupant finally arrives. Fortunately, we are quite adept at hiding the evidence of our wrong-doings and the girl -May- doesn't suspect a thing. Idly, we make a mental note about our neighbor being gullible and make plans on how to take advantage of such a fact. Still, such things are for later and after she leaves, so do we.

Heading north, we run into this bumbling fool who is being chased by a poochyena less than a third his size. A moment of exasperation and we loot the man's bag over by the side for a pokemon. As such a generous Hero, we only deign to take one, as the other two simply seem pathetic.

Gawain the Treecko joins the party!

Our generosity extends itself even further, as we proceed to beat the shit out of this wimpy ass poochyena. The man, who reveals himself to be Prof. Birch and the father of the gullible, but smokin' girl next door, leads us to his lab for a brief conversation. He asks us to go find his daughter, which we gladly decide to accept. If we're not mistaken, he is offering her to us as a reward for saving his life.

Already, our adventure is shaping up to be one that will go down in history!

STATS

Name: Bellum
Time: Meh, not gonna keep track, cuz I use speed boost.
Badges: Zero.
Caught: One.

Party:
Gawain, the Treeko, level 5.

 

Ah, what the hell. Let's do this!

To skip the boring introduction that I would inevitably fail at:

I just wiped the floor with Roxanne. This was fairly easy thanks to my party:

Treecko - Level 15

Wingull - Level 12

Silcoon - Level 5


That's right. I don't nickname my Pokemon.

Also, my game-name is Ruby and 'May's' name should be Sapphire.

 

Leaving the lab, we begin heading north once more, braving the horrendous dangers of the wall grass. We take some time murde-errr, clear out the local wildlife, picking up a worthless Poochyena while we're at it, because why the fuck not? We name him Abel, cuz usually I name Houndour/Houndoom Cain, and this pitiful thing would get absolutely murdered by that mon. Obviously, it will not remain in the party for long.

As we pass through the next town, we stop for a quick romp with the Nurse and then rob the Pokemart. Obviously, somebody must have had the same idea, because there's no pokeballs in sight, so we leave with nothing but a potion. Back to traveling, we kil-uhhh divest more mon's of their consciousness. We pick up a Lotad we decide to name Platypus, because Lombre kind of look likes one if you squint real hard.

Finally, we reach May and proceed to inform her that we now own her, as per the ancient laws of the because-I-say-so tribe. She puts up a brief resistance to the idea, but only out of a sense of obligation. After beating her in a duel, she gives in and returns to the town. We follow her back, and her father, Prof. Birch, decides to give us what we decide must be a pre-wedding present, or somesuch, called a Pokedex.

After a quick conversation wit May, where she handles our balls and then gives us our pokeballs, we decide we must be off. There is more to this grand adventure. Telling Birch we will be back later to defile his daughter properly, we head to the next town once more. From there, travel along the route to Petalburg, picking up several new Party Members and defeating the worthless mongrels that dared to challenge us.

By the end, we have Cassandra the Ralts and Bandit the Zigzagoon. Before moving on, we spend some time beating the crap out of innocent animals so Cassandra has a move other than Growl and Bandit learns Headbutt.

Stopping by Dad's Gym, he reminds us of how much of a dick he is and proves that he and mom will probably be getting a divorce soon by forcing more child labor on us and making us look after this wimp named Wally as he catches a Ralts. Why can't the guy steal his own, like the rest of us?!

After dumping our probable-half-brother off, our Dad mocks us and tells us not to even think abut coming home until we get more badges. The fucker.

Outside of town, we beat up some snobbish kids and a lame-ass fisherman with a Magikarp, while catching Zephyr the Taillow and Corcyia the Marill.

Proceeding into the forest, we immediately catch a shroomish. After some deliberation we realize it evolves into a Breloom, later on. A Fighting Type with lots of green everywhere can only have one possible name!

Gai-Sensei the Shroomish is now part of the party.

Further up, we come across this druggy out for some shroomish. Before we can contemplate giving him his fix, we best upon by a Gay Pirate. Which is totally fine. We don't judge.

We must have put him off somehow, because he attacks us, pathetically. Smacking him around proves entertaining, and we let him run-off. For now.

The Druggy thanks us and gives us a Great Ball, before heading off to find his fix. Shrugging, we continue on. Exiting the forest, we find a guy who teaches us how to turn spitting out watermelon seeds into a dangerous weapon.Thank you, Seed Spitting Guy! In the shop above, we procure a Watering Pail and find a chick who seems to be going on about twigs and berries. Taking a moment to stare at the person who is almost as shameless as ourself, we continue on.

Once we reach Rustboro city, we head over to the local school, because we heard the uniform there included short skirts for the chicks. Our efforts reward with a Quick Claw! We then break into some apartment with a sick girl and, feeling bad, we make her laugh! We get a personalized PC Box for our efforts.

Finally, I teach Bullet Seed to Gawain and Gai-Sensei learns Leech Seed. We decide it's time on take on the gym. The peons there are a cut down easily, and we make our way to Roxanne, the Gym Leader. Gawain and Gai make short work of it and we leave her and her team covered in our seed.

There is also a moment of joy as Gawain evolves into a Grovyle!

Wait awaits us next, on our grand adventure?!
STATS

Name: Bellum
Time: N/A
Badges: 1.
Caught: 9.

Party:

Gawain, the Treeko (16), Zephyr the Taillow (14), Gai-Sensei the Shroomish (12), Bandit the Zigzagoon (10), Cassandra the Ralts (10), Corcyia the Marill (10)
​

​

 

About to challenge Wattson, what the hell am I doing.

This is my party right now:

Grovyle - Level 22


Wingull - Level 23


Beautifly - Level 21


Aron - Level 20

 

Don't leave us in suspense. Did you fight through the bullshit parafusion hax and win?

 

Having rescued a stolen seagull and recovered the nerd's property, the much hailed PokeNav is received. Also caught a Skitty(Juno) and a Nincada(Loki) on my way back, searching for that ever-elusive Abra and its wicked teleporting ways. Skip down, smugroll May again, and take a trip across the sea to reach Dewford. Cleaned Brawly's clock handily, Flashed my way through the nearby cavern - successfully scaring and scarring for life many a curious Aron - until I came upon Steven Stone. He was less than pleased and swore to send me his drycleaning bill.

Grinded some more until I finally found an Abra that was slow enough to stay inside a pokeball(Mercury obtained). Also caught a Sableye(Nidhoggr).

Proceeded across the sea once more and stomped my way through some unwary beach goers. On my tour of the Oceanic Museum I ran into the same wannabe pirate I defeated twice prior. His brothers in anchors swarmed and were promptly Doubled Kicked and Ember'd to an emulsified goop, earning the wrath of their Captain, Archie.

Stern was pleased to receive his ship parts. I was pleased to depart along the grassy routes underneath Cycling Bridge- ah, no, scratch that. I was displeased. Heavily. More so when that poor deluded girl I must needs call mine rival showed up again with her puffed up sense of skill. One Bulk Up and a set of Double Kicks taught her to respect her betters, momentarily. She fled, I rolled on, and soon had claimed all of Mauville, Route 117, and Verdanturf for my property - there is but one foe left to challenge my claim, lurking behind his so-called impervious electric barriers. I taught Surge a thing or two about these gimmicks, I will teach the old man the same.

STATS

Name: Zenzao.
Time: 00:04:19.
Badges: Two.
Caught: Eight.

'Mons(all we care about, after all):

Helios the Combusken
Level 34, Quiet.
Arsenal: Ember(STAB ftw), Double Kick, Peck, Bulk Up.

Mercury the Kadabra
Level 19, Quiet.
Arsenal: Confusion, Teleport, Disable.

Nidhoggr the Sableye
Level 10, Careful.
Arsenal: Rock Smash, Scratch, Foresight, Night Shade.

Others(Daycare Center)

Loki the Nincada
Level 12, Nature unremembered.

Bacchus the Slakoth
Level 13, Quiet.

Juno, the Skitty(boxed).

 

Hope it isn't too late catch a ride on the nostalgia train. Like Xandrel, I'm not gona bother with an introduction since I know I'd fail at it. Gona attempt a Nuzlocke and Completion run.

Stats
Littleroot Town
Player: Awinash
Rival: May
Badges: 0
Time: 0:11

Party


AwinaGecko the Treeko (M)
Lvl 5, Naive
Attacks: Pound, Leer

 

Finally beat that douchebag Wattson, took me 3 tries and a lot of grinding, but I did it.

This is my party right now:

Sceptile - Level 36


Pelipper - Level 32


Beautifly - Level 32


Lairon - Level 32

 

Or you could've just like, caught a Geodude.

 

Nonsense, I have a very strict requirement regarding catching pokemon.

Including the starter, I can have only 6 pokemon in the game.

This means that it must include pokemon that can FLY, SURF, ROCK SMASH etc as well as strong pokemon capable of defeating champions.

Plus, they have to look cool, that's a factor as well.

 

Mm, so I too shall play. But my game has zombies and shit. I've seen some reviews on DLP saying that Pokemon Snakewood is a pile of smelly ass. I've only played the hack through the events around Mauville myself, and might not have gotten to the point where it supposedly becomes TURRIBLE. But this time I will try to go the distance, and I invite you all to share in the TURRIBLE with me.

I wake up in some kind of field with rocks everywhere, no recollection of who I am. Scattered among the debris are three Pokeballs. Fuck your Torchic, Mudkip, Treecko. One ball spins on its axis. Boring. Another one has an aura of ill health. That is not very Youthful. The last is gently spewing exhaust fumes. Mmm, exhaust. Marlboro the Koffing is the Snakewood starter of choice.

Heading northward, since that's apparently the only way to go, I see a man in a white lab coat being attacked. By a zombie. Go, Koffing! Tackle that zombified Bulbasaur to death! Or whatever, since it's already dead? Anyway, get experience!

Upon defeating the undead menace, Professor Birch tells me my name and that the place where I awoke was in fact the ruins of Littleroot Town. I'm still pretty confused about all this mess, but we have to get out of this place because zombies. And so we head into Oldale Town, which has been converted into a safe haven for survivors. Perhaps the last.

After healing up Marlboro, a gentleman outside the Pokemon Center informs me that Professor Birch is on the northern route and wants to see me. So up I go, leveling Marlboro against the various wild, non-zombie Pokemon inhabiting the area. Upon reaching Birch, he gives me an Egg that he apparently found in the nearby bushes and assigns me a quest. Go and find my brother Landon (the Champion) and his girlfriend May. These two apparently departed westward towards Petalburg City seeking the source of the undead plague. Great.

I can now buy Pokeballs at the market, and go about catching things. I am a Gotta Catch 'Em All type when not doing Nuzlocke, so I'll not chronicle everything I catch here. I'll mention only the Pokemon I'll be using for whatever reason. This includes none of the present offerings.

As I leave Oldale to head to Petalburg, some witch attacks me. Deathcaller Alicia has a Sneasel. Easy pickings for the Marlboro Man, since Alicia is a poopy Trainer and wastes several turns using Taunt. She gets all mad and leaves after being defeated.

More zombies infest the path to Petalburg. Rescuing a kid from a zombie, I get the Running Shoes. Memory returning! Landon briefly explains how to run. What a crappy flashback. The game even says so. I have another, non-scripted flashback that tells me that the path to mastering the early game is to abuse poison stalling with Koffing. Good advice, and I start to put it to use against some of the higher level Zombiemon that appear in battles along this route.

Petalburg is sadly a deserted ruin. There is a medkit on the ground that allows me to heal my Pokemon. A lone traveler tells me that Landon and May headed through Petalburg Woods towards Rustboro, before a horde of zombies appears and I leave the poor bastard behind to get eaten. Once it's safe, I explore the town for anything useful. Looting a dead man's corpse gives me some Leftovers, and a supply crate in Wally's old house is stocked with a bottomless well of healing items. I take a couple dozen for the road. Something tells me I will need them.

Norman's Gym is closed off, because there are like skulls or something clogging the door. My dad is dead, I think. Sob. It's even sadder because I can't loot him for his Slaking.

The lone zombie on the path leading into the woods seems disinterested in battle, but taking its place are some human adversaries. Looters, as it turns out, who are determined not to share their precious items with me. There are also Survivalists, who want to be heroes and protect me from the dangers of the zombie apocalypse by killing my Pokemon and leaving me unprotected in the infested wilderness. Winning logic, yeah?

I add Funguy the Shroomish to the team upon entering the woods, and backtrack to level him up a bit. It'll be awhile before he's ready to be of any use against zombies or what have you, but eventually...

Jeebus, that's a possessed corpse! First boss battle of the game takes place in Petalburg Woods, against Demon Corpse Zabulon. Pretty tough battle, actually, as this thing is packing zombified versions of Houndour and Murkrow, both at higher level than either of my Pokemon. But, I have potions aplenty and can easily stall them to death via Poison Gas. Which I do.

Upon being defeated, Zabulon drops a gym badge from Rustboro City and warns me that several more powerful baddies lurk ahead. Demonic honor, you know. Um, so that means that Gym Leader Roxanne is either a zombie or dead? I don't really know, man.

Continuing to slog through the woods, and into Rustboro. An old lady outside the city begs me to defeat the demons in the city, and gives me a TM for Grasswhistle. Wow. Added to the usual zombies and demons inside Rustboro are severed heads that battle with zombified Jynx. Probably the toughest opponents to deal with, since Marlboro has crummy Special Defense and Powder Snow does hurt. But more poison stalling carries the day again and again, and allowing Koffing to monopolize the experience keeps his levels skyrocketing.

I run into the witch Alicia here again, and she attacks me on sight. She now has a couple of ghosts (Sableye and Shuppet) to go with her Sneasel, but she's no threat. Upon losing, she stomps off in a huff, saying that she has summoned enough demons and needs to report to her boss in Verdanturf Town. So, I guess that's the next destination.

There's a hidden Pokemon Center inside what used to be the Cut Man's house. Roxanne's Gym is deserted, but a Rock Tomb TM sits on the ground. Continuing through the city, I run into a mysterious man who kinda looks like a black-haired Steven Stone. He has a servant named Dantalion, who is possessing a legless corpse. Hilarious. Friend or foe? This guy claims to have placed a cloak of invisibility around himself and his servant, but I can see and hear them. Yeah.

Anyway, he also says that he's going to defeat the source of the demons menacing Rustboro, so he might be a good guy? I seem to want to help, anyway. So I approach him. He wants to test me to see if I can be of use. He's a Taoist named Gleis, by the way. He uses something called a Faceleech. I have no idea what this thing is, though it looks a bit like a Remoraid's head with Deoxys tentacles coming out. It hits hard, but is fragile as Hell. Marlboro tanks a Poison Fang and oneshots it with Tackle.

So, now that I've proven my worth, I learn that the source of the demon horde is located in Verdanturf Tunnel. The zombies on the way have already been defeated by the Taoist and his slave thing, robbing me of potential experience. Boo. On the road, I capture Tarleton the Zigzagoon. Something tells me I might require him later on. Hmm!

The source of the demon summoning is the Cut Man's daughter, who is being used as a vessel. Gleis prepares to perform a ritual to shut down the conduit, but needs me to stall the incoming demons in the meanwhile. So I have to battle a pair of them, each packing a couple of Anorith. Poison stall, ho!

The Taoist completes his rite as I defeat the second demon, causing the poor girl to be consumed by fell energies. Gleis thanks me for the assist and leaves, and I'm left to continue on to Verdanturf. I use the wild Whismur in the tunnel to level Funguy to 16, so that he learns Mega Drain.

Verdanturf Town is no more. But there is a pit of lava for some reason, and what looks like a Dragonite sitting around the path. But, another flashback. About someone named Pestilence. That's original, and also happens to be Alicia's boss and the person responsible for destroying Littleroot and doing whatever was done to me. And who I run into right here and have to battle.

Slow going here, since Pestilence uses all Poison types. Two zombified Grimer and a Qwilfish. All immune to my usual stall tactic, so it's slow going with Tackle. Marlboro hits Level 21 after defeating the first Grimer zombie and learns Sludge, which makes things a bit quicker.

Pestilence rages and leaves, and Alicia seems like apologetic now. Did I know this bitch before?

The Dragonite is in fact a Charizard, but I can't have because it's wearing a collar and belongs to someone else. Pfft. A cave leads into an endless plain (wut?) where I get the Cut HM, taught to Tarleton at once.

I get a call from Professor Birch on the way back to Rustboro, telling me that he's learned that brother and girlfriend went to Dewford Town, which is thus far untouched by the plague because it's an island and zombies don't like salt water. But I need a Balance Badge and Surf to follow. Now, which way to go? Well, there's a bush blocking the path north of Rustboro. So, there.

I loot the corpse of a karate man on the road, who has a Pokeball containing a Magikarp which is holding the HM I need. Neato. Further up the road (the path into the mountain is blocked by a rock) on the beach is a girl. She's the conveniently located last survivor of Norman's gym, and she needs to fight me to uphold the honor of the gym. Wut.

Normal Girl Laura (wuuuuut?) leads with a Zangoose. A premonition tells me this thing can be dangerous because it sets up with Swords Dance, but it doesn't do so and instead uses Leer and Fury Cutter. Marlboro wastes it with Sludge. Her other 'mon is a Delcatty, which specializes in status annoyance. Attract on the first turn, but Poison Gas strikes home through it. The rest is just a waiting game as the poison does its work. Just heal as Delcatty puts Koffing to sleep with Sing and uses weak Doubleslaps. Soon enough it succumbs to the venom.

Balance Badge get. And now this writeup is getting overlong. Head back through the woods. Since Mr. Briney is now a zombie (did I mention this?) I have to Surf to Dewford. Tarleton can also learn this, and does. My Shroomish benefits from all the experience on the route, as a variety of Swimmers and Pirates (who all look identical to Drake of the Hoenn Elite Four) want to battle. Mega Drain deals with the various Water types and Leech Seed + Stun Spore + Tackle handles the rest. Funguy evolves into Breloom on the very last Swimmer before getting to Dewford. Yay, and very timely.

What to do when getting to a new town that doesn't have zombies? Challenge the gym, of course. Nobody knows anything about Landon and May right now anyway. Oh, and I get an Ice Punch TM from one guy's house. Cool. Someone outside the gym tells me that Brawly has moved on to greener pastures, and the Gym Leader is now some girl named Haruko who is supposedly stronger than Brawly ever was. She specializes in the Dark type. Breloom rape rape.

Lots of trainers in the gym, and with high level Pokemon. Breloom gives no fucks and Mach Punches them all to death. Interesting to note, some have Shinx and Luxio, which have been hacked into the game (being Gen IV Pokemon) and type changed to Electric/Dark. Meowth and Persian are also present, and are now Normal/Dark.

Beating up Pirates and Rockers and Film Students leads me to Haruko, but she can't battle me right now because I need to explore the cave north of town. Something wicked is in there, and off I go.

Next time. TURRIBLE.



The Survivors

Marlboro the Koffing - Level 23 - Tackle/Sludge/Poison Gas/Selfdestruct
Funguy the Breloom - Level 26 - Mega Drain/Headbutt/Mach Punch/Leech Seed
Tarleton the Zigzagoon - Level 12 - Cut/Surf/Tail Whip/Headbutt

 

Sorry, Dad...

Badges - 5

Team:

Sceptile - Level 43


Pelipper - Level 42


Beautifly - Level 43


Aggron - Level 42


Altaria - Level 45

 

Lazy update - Took out Watson with no trouble. Had to boost three times to knock out Flannery's Torkoal. Mercury is finally coming into his own as he nears the thirties. Helios continues to dominate approaching his fifties. Norman was a push over. Currently leaving the lovey-dovey couple past Rustboro stuck with those boulders in their way rather than Rock Smashing the path open for them, so I'm forced to Surf my way from one side to the other rather than a quick Super Repel jaunt by Mach Bike. Also leaving New Mauville on the fringe of detonation while I trek up to Fortree City(IIRC).

Currently at my usual best time on Cycling Road, a 9.16 seconds disappointment. One of these days I'll hit 9.15 again.

No team as my games in the other room.

 

In case you guys weren't aware, go get you some Mew/Celebi/Jirachi/Deoxys through the pomeg glitch.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=T5vjpqUxxVk