I kind of feel that everyone should read at least the last book in the series. Not because it's any good- it's one of the most terrible things I've read in my life- but because it's absolutely hilarious. Seriously. There's a scene where a baby basically claws its way out of its mother's uterus.

 

I know, before I was ecentric with my dolfin ways, now No man will have me!

I've lost my innocence

 

I feel so proud of introducing Tinn to the world of sparkly vampires...

 

I think that it would need at least one time-traveling viking turned Navy SEAL to qualify for that title.

 

I stand by my claime

 

Thank you Mr. Joe, my girlfriend is forcing me to go see this with her tomorrow, at least now I know to prepare myself.

 

IF you want nookie then your best bet is to keep trying to picture bella naked and tune out edwards voice if she's a hardcore twilight fan.

She's reasonably attractive.

She probably wont appreciate your snickers. And avoid seeing it at peek tween hours. There is nothing more annoying that seeing it with a bunch of love starved bella wannabee highschool girls.

Believe me! Though its okay to snicker when the supporting cast is around. they are meant to be funny.

Oh... something I forgot to mention before but I found strange in both the book and movie.

Edward is practicly dominating bella.

Now I know tits or GTFO is not an uncommon saying here, or a random "Get in the kitchen, Bitch!" but its so shocking to just watch it on the big screen and see the girls sucking it up.

... snicker <3

Anyway, He basicly tells her what to do, demands answers from her when he wants them, is rude to her, and I think in the books he tells her when to eat as well.

Then drags her around by the elbow every now and then.

Lets not forget the stalking. He doesn't hide the fact that he sneaks into her room to watch her sleep, searches for her when she leaves town on a girls night out, or has an inexplicable need to know her every thought.

Now its all fun and games on the internets, but in real life I'd think he'd get smacked atleast.

Just to warn you it may be a big WTF moment when you see it.

Try not to shit yourself...

 

Le sigh this is going to blow and not in a good way. Shes a very hard-core Twilight fan and if I start to laugh at the wrong part it will not end pleasantly for me. On the other hand if its really as bad as you say it is then I'm probably going to pop a blood vessel or two trying to keep myself from laughing.

 

This might just be about the movie, but it sums up my thoughts nicely.

 

Characterisation is nonexistent, it's rather striking (though I suppose not entirely uncommon in the chick-flick genre, I refuse to get used to it). This thing is tailor-made for emo bitches and prepubescent fangirls. No wonder they're loosing whatever heads they had in the first place over this.

Seems to me there must have been a few okay scenes, but I can't seem to be able to recall any. Vampire baseball, maybe.

And I agree with Quazi, the sunlight scene is hilarious. I was expecting him to go all monster, and then he goes all christmas tree or whatever.

 

Its not necessarily the movies fault so much as the books

For once they actually stayed true to the series...

Then again I stopped reading at about the point he starts sparkling in the book but up until then the movie and the book were pretty much exactly the same.

This movie tried to make the best of a horrible series. It may have succeded but that still doesn't mean the best is any good.

Good luck Krogan... Your in my prayers.

 

...I hate loathe despise these books with every fiber of my being. If one more person recommends them to me I'm going to scream. I seriously wanted to call my eyes out after the first chapter of Twilight.

 

An ex-girlfriend of mine loved this shit. She convinced me to read one over the summer. I got 50 pages into it before I asked her if she'd be offended if I burned it while singing. The answer was yes. In hindsight, I should have know that one would end badly.

As for my feelings about those who enjoy this shit, I remember the wise and ever-true words of Karl Kraus

 

30th trimester abortions may still be on the table if we just try for it! This is one of the better reasons we could refer to give support to our argument!

 

Alright so I finished the movie at about 8:00 and I have just one thing to say, thank so very much QuaziJoe. The movie was hilariously bad, from the sickening Mary-Sue poster child Bela to pretty boy white Ike Turner Edward. I'm fairly positive I busted a rib or two trying to keep myself from bursting into laughter in the middle of the horde of squealing teenage girls who would have ripped me limb from limb at so much as a giggle at the wrong time but it was worth it in the end, oh it was very very much worth all the torture in the end.

 

I loved the movie, and I'm going to go see all the secules.

The girl, Bella, is just so easy to hate.

 

Vomit! Vomit! Shit in pants. Vomit!

My cousins (who are female) went to see this shit and said it was the best.

Thanks for an honest review.

 

I checked the plot summaries for these books... good fucking fake god, who lets this shit be published?

Vampires who are hundreds of years old... yet are struggling through high school.... really... REALLY?

God. I can't even rant enough to do this shit justice.

Gio says:

No wonder you went gay if the chicks you were dating liked this shit. Not picking on you, but fuck.