Title: Twisted Soul
Author: moogleknight
Rating: M
Genre: Adventure
Pairing: Harry/Tonks
Status: Work in Progress
Summary: Voldemort is on a quest to unlock the powers of the Twisted Nether. Can Harry, Tonks and Illidan Stormrage stop him? Xover with Warcraft. Independent and Undead!Harry.

Link: http://www.fanfiction.net/s/2939681/1/

My first story =). I wrote it last night, not quite sure how quick I will update it as I have exams in 2 weeks and work experience afterwards.

Not quite sure how indepth I will go with the pairing, maybe they'll just remain friends (although friends who never leave each other) or become lovers, still deciding.

Oh yeah, Dumbles, Ron and Hermione are gonna hate Harry's guts in here, as they will be kinda prejudiced against the undead (most wizards will hate H&T).

And yes, Harry did die. XD Notice the Undead!Harry bit.

R&R

 

It seems interesting but I have a few problems against it. The story needs to be more polished (better grammer, more details etc etc..." Just work on all the little stuff and it will become much better.

 

Thanks for reviewing.

I am gonna be a little bit more careful looking over the chapter for the next, I noticed 7 minor errors when I was looking through it after I posted (a ' floating after the end of a sentence, harry near the start, ',' after angle when it should be a '.', Notfive, Ineer Circle xD, andalso and ashadowy.)

Oh btw I'm trying to show Harry a bit angry and angsty then usual, because in most stories Harry's like 'My godfather died and I don't care' (maybe an exaggeration) but if you never knew any parental figures in your life and lost the only one you've ever had, and only a little while after meeting him, that would be devastating to you psychologically.

If it was real life, Harry would have killed himself by half way through because of Ron and Hermione bitching when there his ONLY friends and Dumbledore screwing his life round.

EDIT - Oh yeah, when Harry meets the Weasleys again, he'll have a glamour on, and I think I might write a scene were Harry and Tonks eat Ginny's brain with spoons xD.

 

i will never read this story no matter what. for the simple reason that i cannot afford to get into warcraft again. IT IS A DRUG. its like alchohol with me. if i read stories about it, hear friends talking about it. **shudders** i cannot imagine the potential repurcusions of such a thing. nothing personal of course.

 

Oh yeah no prob. World of Warcraft right?

Lolz.

 

Interesting. You need to work on the wording a little bit. Not too many errors that I could see but the wording was... Dry. A error I could see I mentioned in my review. Another thing I noticed was that it got a little choppy near the end. Fill in a bit more detail please.

 

I might read this later...but I must say now...it'll get my wholehearted recommendation if Harry allies himself with Arthas.

 

Thanks for the comments.

I'll work on my wording and detail for the next chapter.

And as for Harry allying with Arthas, it's in the cards .

Although If I remember right, in Frozen Throne him and Illidan we're enemies, and Illidan will be with Tonks and Harry for quite a while, so until Illidan leaves it won't happen.

 

Phst, Arthas >>>>> Illidan, legit. Just watch the ending to Frozen Throne.

 

Hmm... I'm going to have to withhold judgement on this till there's more, but I'm a bit hesitant. If Illidan is going to be one of the hero's, then he's going to have to be quite out of character.

Edit: As for joining Arthas, well, if this takes place after the Frozen Throne, then he is now currently the Lich King, a dark wizard worse then Voldemort could ever DREAM of becoming. Though, Harry will probably have to struggle against his mental commands.

 

My only problem was how stupid Harry seemed to be. I mean he can stare down Voldemort, yet now he's screeching, rambling, screaming and running from a fat muggle. Not to mention the fact that Harry keeping his wand buried in his trunk when he's almost been killled over 5 times is probably the dumbest thing I've ever seen. Anyway, there's not many HP/Warcraft crossovers so I'm looking foward to this, just my little complaints.

 

**shudder** WoW is so fun. im going through withdrawal. and btw is that little pic in your sig a pic of the AM from DOTA?

 

I'm working on the next chapter now, should be posted sometime next week.

I'm currently in the middle of exams (only 2 more!) so I'm busy until the weekend.

And I have no idea what a AM from DOTA is. (It's Illidan's sprite from WW3 RoC, btw aren't his weapons called moon-glaives?)

 

Somehow Harry casting AK in the heat of battle/terror didn't seem very likely to me. To cast AK without though he'd have to have done it loads of time until it becomes a habit. I reckon he'd have cast a stupefy or reducto. Other than that, what the others said, polish it up a bit and it should be interesting to read.

 

Next chapter posted. Please Review.

Mog out.

 

Only 2 chapters, never completed, way short.

Posted up for Review.

 

The writing isn't too bad, although not Library worthy. But there are quite a lot of things I didn't like, such as Vernon killing Harry, super powers after the resurrection and the mind-link with Tonks. The crossover aspect wasn't handled all that well either, and Voldemort was pathetically Cartoonish.

Might possibly have become a decent guilty pleasure if continued, but as it stands I have no choice but to round down.

1/5