Shit fanon: Harry had close, magical living relatives. Dumbleore dumped Harry at the Dursley's to keep him isolated and ignorant of the ways of the Wizarding World, so he can be easily manipulated by the Old Goat. He also didn't lift a finger to protect Harry from harm, and the Love Protection was useless/a lie.

TWIST: Harry's close, magical living relatives (old Potters etc.) agreed to Dumbledore's plan, act as if they did adopt Harry, paint a giant target on themselves. And they died as Death Eaters attacked them in an attempt to get Harry. Mrs. Figg? Lives alone because her husband died when a Death Eater found out about Harry's Surrey address. The protection at #4 and the timely arrival of Dumbledore were the only reason Harry survived that day.
But these were never explained to Harry because Dumbledore and Figg and etc. didn't blame him, or want to burden him.

 

Shit fanon: Harry is never told about his trust account before his Hogwarts shopping trip and subsequent information about the account is minimal if ever provided because of a multitude of manipulators methodically managed to impede his manumission. Additionally his key is held by several people and provided to persons that should not have access to the account.

Twist: Harry has an account held in trust for his benefit- as beneficiary he has no rights to know balances, transactions, or to access the account. The trust has nominated Responsible Persons who are able to access the account on his behalf, or provide temporary/one time access to persons not listed for the purpose of accessing funds for his benefit. This is enforced through subtle ways leading the person taking the funds to never consider not using the funds for his benefit.



Shit fanon: Goblins are irritable and disagreeable because they are goblins.

Twist: Goblins are irritable and disagreeable because they are bankers.

 

Shit fanon: Indy!Harry Potter confronts manipulative Dumbledore with numerous crimes committed in manipulating and using him, including spending his money, keeping him away from political positions, etc. This goes well for Harry and his enemy is now ruined and deposed of his Grandmaster's post.

Twist: Harry however indy, is not an established politician nor a mastermind, and Dumbledure easily deflects the blame, and ends up manipulating this !indy powerhouse exatcly as a manipulative Dumbledore would,

Let me get this straight. You think that your headmaster, one of the most influential, most powerful men in the world, is secretly a spending his days scamming out of your fortunes and manipulating you and the whole wizarding world; and your plan, is to openly *accuse* this person, putting your word against his?

 

Thats pretty much just What was your Plan by SpoonandJohn.

 

Magical failsafe is not the satisfying resolution I'd expected from that one, but otherwise it has nice ideas and presents a very good question (the title); could be better at execution and the ending . In any case, thanks for the link.

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I'll offer another, to keep on topic:

Shit fanon: Harry claims inheritance of a Hogwarts founder, getting untold riches and ownership of Hogwarts.

Twist: Harry inherits an old debt of the Founders, putting him firmly in the negatives in terms of money, and learns why no one tried to claim the "direct lineage of the Founders" from the Goblins before him, even as most wizards could trace their lineage to some Founder or another.

Bonus Twist: "Ownership" of part of Hogwarts comes with a lot of responsibility and boring busywork without real power or say in the matters of the school. Similar to how the Mayor of the City of London has to participate in various events and has to pay for his own grab and events from his own pocket.

 

Bonus Humorous Twist: With no money or power Harry has no choice but to figure out how to use outdated and ridiculous, even by the Wizarding World's standards, traditions tied to his position to fight Death Eaters' influence. Hilarity ensues.

 

Shit Fanon: Drarry

Twist that, to be quite frank, just makes it canon: Haphne

 

So Daphne is just Draco's post-transition name?

 

Shit Fanon: Harry get sorted into Slytherin and is instantly thrown into a world of politics, intrigue, backstabbing, and blackmail, eventually leading to him taking control of the House (at age 12-13), outwitting professors, and leading a faction of Lords and Ladies at the Wizengamot.

Twist: All of the politics in Slytherin House are holdovers from a long gone era. The students of Slytherin House are the Habsburg Jawed children of cousin fucker parents and everyone else looks at them like the petty tools they are. Lord and Lady are holdovers from a time when democracy was seen as 'a bit gauche', and have absolutely no bearing in the system of proportional representative democracy that is the pride and joy of the Wizarding World.

 

Shit fanon: Indy!Harry scorns Mumblesnore and the coddling Weasleys, starts a harem, takes control of his inheritance which includes some diary from his grandfather that teaches him Family Magic, becomes dragon animagus, and kicks Voldemort in the nuts

Twist: Indy!Harry time travels back to 1930, fights a magical death cult, fights Nazis, rides a submarine, destroys a tank with nothing but a horse, goes on a zeppelin ride with his father, melts faces, bangs Stephen Spielberg's wife, wears a fedora.

 

Bad Fanon: Harry has some secret power/relation that makes him the strongest Wizard alive with great potential. Dumbledore seals this power away from Harry to better manipulate him.

Twist: That Power was sealed by Dumbledore in order to keep Harry alive. The level of Magic he would be channelling would destroy his body akin to an Obscurial. A naive Harry unlocks the 'seal' on his powers thinking he has one-upped Dumbledore, but in reality, only creates a ticking clock for his own death, coupled with the fact that he can't actually use a wand now.

 

Shit fanon: Harry's childhood abuse is revealed, and Amelia Bones goes on a crusade against the Ministry and Dumbledore to protect him

Twist: Amelia is actually trying to become the Minister by using his fame. After a series of fuck-ups, her schemes are revealed. Following this, the Prophet labels Harry as an attention-seeking brat again, and absolutely no one believes him.

 

Shit fanon: Slytherin's are all schemers and plotters. Children and teenagers who come up with advanced dastardly plots with consequences that can be felt across the globe.

Twist: Slytherin's spend all of their time scheming and plotting over completely ridiculous things. First years are known to break into improvised speeches espousing their various strengths and the connections their parents have, speeches defintely not written by their parents thank you very much. The end of year competition among the sixth year's to get The Chair is talked about for months. It's not a good week if someone hasn't been badly framed for something. Essentially the Slytherin dungeon is sponsored by ACME, and everyone just kinda rides with it. Except Snape, who has spent years trying to make it stop. Hilarity will ensure.

 

Twist on the twist: The only reason Snape keeps trying to stop it is because he's a jealous little twat who can't get over the fact he wasn't able to properly join in with the plotting and scheming as a kid because of his upbringing.

 

I think I read something like this, once. IIRC, Harry's arranged wives (mostly pureblood DE sympathizers) just kept dying in increasingly unlikely accidents, but nothing could be pinned on him.

Actually, that's Priscilla.

lol, fair enough.

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Shit Fanon: Harry isn't James and Lily's son; cheating!Lily was impregnated by any one of either Snape, Sirius, Remus, Voldemort, or... a fuckin' Kryptonian or demon or something.

Twist: Harry isn't James and Lily's son, he's Lily and James' son. They were playing perverted games with Polyjuice and Lily knocked up James. There was a magical signifier of the conception and, not having the heart to end the pregnancy when he changed back, James stayed on Polyjuice for the next nine months.

Double Twist: Harry's inheritance would have been a lot bigger if his parents hadn't paid for nine months' worth of Polyjuice ingredients, and if James had gone back to work after the birth, instead of staying at home because he, even after quitting the Polyjuice, couldn't quit lactating... for which Lily wouldn't quit laughing at him

Shit Fanon Triple Twist: Because of this godless jiggery pokery, Harry can spontaneously switch genders. He doesn't need glasses, but his visual acuity is based on movement...

Spoiler

Canon Twist: Harry is a good father, having seen most of the examples of what not to do when it comes to parenting, and because his wife is the daughter of the HP world's ur-example of motherhood, AND because his fuckin' secret super power is love.

Shit Fanon: "Sometimes I wish you weren't my time-traveling son!"

 

Triple twist with a backflip: Harry only switches gender when surrounded by too many of his current one, so he gets banished from the dorms regularly. (And you only think his visual acuity is based on movement)

 

Shit fanon: Harry goes back to Hogwarts for his NEWT year. He gets up to some hijinks, graduates, becomes an Auror, marries Ginny, whelps a couple kids, and spends the next 19 years fighting Dark Wizards

Twist: Harry, broken by seeing so many people die and having died himself, is psychologically destroyed after the Battle of Hogwarts and suffers from horrific PSTD. Because his upbrining has made effective communication all but impossible, he drowns his feelings in firewhiskey and black tar rum with Mundungus, living the life of a drunken hermit and living off his inheritance. Ron and Hermione stage interventions, but Harry blasts his way out of the room. Ginny tries to carrot method to connect with him, but he's far to damaged to engage in sex.

Double Twist: Harry kills himself two years after the Battle of Hogwarts.

Alternate Twist: Because the population of Magical Britain is only 3000, there really aren't all that many Dark Wizards for Harry to catch. Most of his days are spent staring at walls, writing tickets for misdemeanor dark magic, harassing minority races, filling out bullshit forms in quadruplicate because Hermione mandated a "more efficient filing system" as MoM, and fucking Susan Bones on his desk while Ginny waits at home with the kids.

 

Honestly that could make a fascinating fic, Harry kills himself 2 years after the Battle of Hogwarts and the fic follows his various friends and acquaintances as they hear and deal with the news. Wouldn't be a long fic, maybe a handful of chapters to cover the relevant characters. It'd be morbid as fuck to read, but thats not always a bad thing.

 

Shit Fanon: Harry's abused childhood leads to him becoming an untrusting anti-social dick.

Twist: Harry's abused childhood makes him too trusting of people, he vies for human affection and desperately wants to be loved and accepted. Quirrell detecting this vulnerability when he meets Harry at the Leaky Cauldron decides to change his whole personality when it comes to dealing with Harry. He becomes his mentor and asks him to steal the Philosopher's stone for him. Dumbledore eventually finds this out, duels Quirrell, accidentally killing him and Harry feels betrayed by the man. Leading him to become an untrusting anti-social dick.

 

This would be a great start to a Dark!Harry fic.